hello everyone welcome back to the kurak with Mahin show I'm so excited about today's guest she is a CEO she is an influencer she is a Powerhouse she has built an Empire by building a multi-million uh pound luxury hair care brand she uses her platform to empower girls all over the world she is truly a legend let me please welcome itam core my God I need to record you saying that wake up every morning with that playing so I saw my day on a good night that be your alarm yeah so funny I so shy no but it's true it's all it's all factual it's 100% accurate I hope yes um so yeah it's very exciting that you're here I'm truly truly excited to have this conversation I want to talk about culture and identity and society and then I want to go into um the beauty standards and the beauty space so it'll be like an interesting mix to start off um I know that you are Punjabi you are sick and you really uh represent that with so much pride which is beautiful to see what is your favorite Parts about being a Punjabi oh my God first of all these such good questions I love these topics I love them too that's why I started this yeah um oh my God what's my favorite thing about being Punjabi I I don't want to give a superficial answer and say like the musical the food or the fashion I would say it's like the pride that we have it's like no Punjabi will shy away from saying that that Punjabi I love that yeah I'm a Pakistani Punjabi I'm from lore yeah so yeah I think that like the richness in the Punjab culture is that where no matter where you're located you have that within you I'm Punjabi I don't know and you just have this energy right don't you think Punjab a strong energy right yeah yeah it's and how do you think that's shaped you being a Punjabi so I grew up in a very very very diverse area of London but no brand people oh me and my brother were the only two six at the school the only two then there was a little boy who joined in yes s count you know and we lived a very non-cultural life cuz both of my parents were born in the UK so I am what did that make me second generation or yeah second second generation yeah so very far removed the only education I had was religious education and this was through my Dy BBA oh okay it was not through school either nothing cultural so when I went to University I went University of Manchester that meant that there was like a lot of people from all around the country cuz it's quite a big university who went my course was business and there was like 400 people on my course so loads of people and loads of people from Birmingham and Birmingham in the UK you've been no I've never been yeah known for having a lot of brown people this was my first exposure to being around Brown people and I remember feeling very like left out cuz I was like you lot are talking about jokes that I can't relate to exactly I relate you had that yeah yeah did you go to an international school here so the thing is that I W I have been exposed to pakistanis to brown people but I don't know I think the people who lived here that are pakistanis their jokes are still different from of people who live in Pakistan you know what I mean so I can't get the humor right right right right and it's a very like when everyone around you's laughing and you're just like ha you're like oh it's time to laugh now yeah no literally literally and I would have people like asking me what's your surname cuz they wanted to work out what my cast was and I had I did not know that cast existed cuz my family is family of five so we didn't like I didn't know anyone else so we were all the same do you know what I mean and I was like I didn't grow up knowing what that that was a thing and that how did you find out cuz they were asking what my surname was and I was like you trying to add me on Facebook uh oh so then they told you that they were yeah cuz I was like why did you want to know like what's happening here and they tell me and I was like oh okay not meant to be a thing guys let's let's not reinforce that this generation you know exactly but that's why I really started to learn a lot about my culture but I think I've always been like the little that the kind of one on the outside when it comes to these types of things just because I grew up in a very westernized households so where do you get that Pride from then if you weren't exposed as much or you didn't you know have that cultural experience I think as a Punjabi like it's a very very key point to say Punjabi and you know in opposed to what we could otherwise say and I think that really for me is rooted in siki like I identify with my religion a lot more than I identify with my culture makes sense and that's where the pride comes from and the religious knowledge that you gained you were talking about it that that was primarily from family yeah so my dad Thea would like tell me sakya which is like religious stories but I was speaking to someone recently I think our generation needs to know the science behind things we want to know why yeah why does that make sense why yeah and I joined the seat Society committee when I was at University we did a lot of like talks and we had guest speakers like amazing people that's when I really like I put a lot of energy into learning about it myself and the science behind it and what did you find like what was how did you get in after you got into how did you feel about it yeah I think because it was the first time that I was being spoken to in English like my punjabi's okay yeah my daddy were kind of telling me in Punjabi a little bit in English you go to the good the water it's all like definitely not English yeah so then we were having these young you know basis of siki coming in it's like a very big YouTube channel they're speaking in English and and so that's how you got a lot more probably out of and I got confident about it I understood okay this is why we do this this is why we do that you know and before that before that experience would you question why we do this or that like would you question certain cultural I don't know Traditions that you had no but would you I don't know run away from them how did you Embrace what kind of traditions would you have in your family that I guess it was like in London it's such a diverse city um so everything was very accepted so I just didn't question it like I wasn't like obviously at my school I was the only one who instead of saying happy the I was saying happy BND Divas you know what I mean but like I I was used to being the outsider I was used to being the odd one out so I just didn't question it I was just like okay well this is this is my thing so how did you Embrace this this identity of being an Outsider did you were you scared in the beginning how how was that Journey like my dad is a lone wolf he's always been a lone wolf and I'm very similar to my dad and I think at when I was younger I definitely was like okay I want to be a part of this but I'm just so not and I think I've always not fully been a part of it and then when I started posting on Instagram and I really like uh I had like 5K when I was at Uni which was quite a lot at the time of like 2017 I was like very cool at Uni okay if my uni friends are going to watch this they going to be no she isn't but like 5K was a large amount back then and I was attracting other young girls who didn't have a mom or their mom was a lot older or their mom didn't speak English and they could just relate to my story that's when I started to think I found my people and to this day there's like 350 people as of this morning actually on my Instagram and they're my people wow you know that's beautiful so you kind of found that Community if you couldn't find it in school you couldn't find it there you found it online and and and and now it's grown to a tremendous community so that's beautiful that's absolutely beautiful to see so in terms of the Punjabi culture and there are so many beautiful aspects to it what do you think about the culture that you didn't want to accept that you didn't agree with that you wanted to kind of challenge so for me um I think alcoholism is huge problem in the pujabi community I think we can all confidently say that we have um either an immediate family member or a one one level remov like an uncle or cousin or something like that who has a problem with drinking and what I see is that as punjabis especially young punjabis we're glorifying partying and drinking and I don't think there's anything wrong with that in mediation in moderation yeah so this I really struggled with cuz at Uni I drank like I would have like one drink or something and then I started working at nightclubs so I stopped drinking but I was the only one that wasn't drinking and since then I've never drank and I see like recently I was offered aand deal to promote a very big alcohol brand for Dali and it was £10,000 and I said no wow because I just think your values yeah 100% first of all I don't drink so how can I promot an alcohol I don't know if it's good or not and second of all I think I would be doing more to the detriment of our community and it may not be that the dads who are drinking are following me or the uncles but the daughters are following me do you know what I mean and I don't want to sit there and they sat there struggling with an alcoholic th Mama Jaa or or Mom whoever yeah and then they go online and they see arim promoting it like God forbid how irresponsible of me could that be so I would say that partying drinking glorification is probably the worst part of the Punjabi Community culture first of all it's beautiful to see how much you care about your community because obviously it's very easy to say yes to such a brand deal but the fact that you actually cared about people I mean I can imagine I can imagine but you did that because you really truly have this like care genuine care for for the people that's beautiful truly truly like if you have to think about this like my manager lost on commission from that big job but she supported me wow you know the people around you 100% And I said to her I was like you know what I know a non-alcoholic brand is going to come to me and they're going to pay me 12 Grand 15 grand do you know what I mean yeah I love that you have that in you yeah that's beautiful but growing up when you saw this um I don't know you saw in within your family or within extend family um this this issue of alcohol how did you face it how did you how did you react to that I think sorry my chair is squeaking I can't speak to that question actually cuz I think it's all about my family yeah makes sense yeah makes sense uh so going away from from culture and and I think that's an interesting topic when we talk about women in our society and we talk about women in our culture I think um there can be a lot of we see a lot of judgment in terms of how women behave versus how men behave like there's a lot of I don't know standards or expectations put on women what do you feel about that is that something you've experienced or you've seen so I have a very small family and like I said we're very very westernized we're very modern yeah I don't think I've ever really faced that within the context of my immediate family you know my daddy Baba my dad my brother sense I have seen it happen on line and stuff like that and I think it's it's unfortunate cuz it's a bit of a generational curse and I think our generation now is waking up to it and we're kind of the ones that are going to be the first ones to put our foot down do you know what I mean and be like no like leave that marriage if he's bad to you or like wear that top if you want to very two different ends of the spectrum and I think that's a heavy thing for us to hold but you know what I have to say I'm so proud of this generation of young girls I think we're doing such a good job really like even like just on social media you're scaring and you see like memes and stuff and it it's like oh eldest daughter things do you know what I mean eldest daughter and a brand family when you're really the mom and the dad but the fact that we're aware of it and we can name it do you know what I mean I think it's so good and I think the first step is acknowledging that it exists which I guess in previous generations didn't didn't even acknowledge it and I understand like this was kind of passed down you don't you don't question you just go on so this generation you really see that question that addressing and then the questioning of of these Norms so I mean you yourself included the fact how you're contributing to society and empowering women it's it's definitely beautiful to see I always say like I I there's two ways you can look at someone successful you can either say oh my God why them not me and that's coming from a lack mindset yeah or you can say if she did it I can do it and I'll give an example I think I might be wrong but there I'm definitely not the first brand girl to Works Pandora I think P aula worked with them I might be wrong um but whoever the brand gu was to work with Pandora opened the door for me and then I went in and I pushed that door wide open and I've seen like Pandora is an amazing amazing company when it comes to inclusivity diversity at a very very very like specific level it's not just race it goes above and beyond and I think the second way you can look at it is like if you can do it I can do it and I feel like that's my role is to open these doors and I want to see these brown girls run through those doors I love that I love that that's so cool to see and I think it really depends on how you react so if you see a situation where women are doing such great things you can either react negatively and be like why am I not there or you react positively and be like oh she's opened the door for me and I think that's just it's all about the mindset it's completely about the mindset do you think this mindset that you're talking about was hard to develop for you how was it like for you in your journey because I grew up with no women in my family besides my daddy I have to say like I don't think I grew up with a competitive mindset I think it can happen where you have like a lot of female in your family like cousins and your okay who's the one who's going to get married first or who's the one who got the better job out of you need do you know what I mean cuz you do get compared to your like to your similar category yeah for sure to your peers and women get compared to women so because I never saw a woman as my competition growing up I just don't think I developed that mindset I also would say I um I just love female energy I love being around girls like I love I'm so happy around like girls um so I'd always be really happy I would just be really gassed like if there was a girl that was older than me that was giving me attention i' would be like oh my God adopt me you know you can't you can't change that mindset you know what I mean you had something all your life or you're just like oh my God she knows me you know I still have that oh that's so cool though but I completely agree I feel like women just have this energy in them that like you just resonate with no even if I have like an amazing conversation with a male in my podcast know women energy is just so different I've realized so I completely agree with that but how was it like on social media for example um this mindset of of comparing probably was not their face tof face real life but then on social media did that exist what are you asking me in terms of comp comparison so on on social media um it's it's very easy to look at other women and see what they're doing and start comparing so do did that competitive mindset exist when when it came to social media so I speak about this a lot but my relationship with my followers is I'm looking at them only they're looking at me yeah I'm not I'm In My Own Lane I'm really not trying to be in anyone else's I'm trying to serve the needs of my existing following not serve the needs of that person that's adjacent to my following because then you're always going to be chasing someone that doesn't already like you chase the people that like you it's easier do you know what I mean like then you can build that Rapport like you were speaking to me that I do funny videos like you are my audience you find that funny that's good cuz I find that funny this person over here Joe blogs may not find me funny that's fine why am I why am I going to convince him that I'm a funny guy do you know what I mean so I think a keeping your tannel vision on when you're on social media is very important and what does this mean a lot of people talk about how social media is bad for your mental health no the decisions that you're making on social media are affecting your mental health yes we can't really defend ourselves against the adts that we're shown because they just inject themselves into our timeline but you have the power to control your timeline you have the power to say you know what when I watch that person she's not done nothing to me but she just makes me feel bad about myself don't know why just get a bad Vibe unfollow and then you don't have to see that and then your experience on social media is so much more positive yeah it's all about the conscious decisions that you make and as you mentioned earlier that moderation is key we were talking about alcohol but even in in this sense in terms of social media everything yeah exactly everything that you consume you have to consume in moderation as well and it's all about your conscious and intentional decisions so yeah that's I use that phrase all the time intentional decisions you're so Advanced for 21 like what stop it I was not like this when I was 21 how are you like I was living in Atlanta I'm sure you were you were even better I mean like what you've built is like didn't you start like social media at like 21 or 20 uh I graduated 22 I think in 2017 um but I was working nightclubs in Atlanta in London in Manchester and I could not get a job for love no money for eight months once I graduated then I got fired from eight consecutive jobs yeah eight apparently is my unlucky number and then I started like properly putting myself in social media and then but is it really unlucky if it led to this you're so true I like it okay eight is my lucky number now we made it happen yay no but that's that's so cool I mean see exactly you did all of that like I don't think how I I don't know how I would have handled it I feel like any type of rejection I'm still learning how to handle I would just like cry for like months you know how how was that like for you uh I think it was hard at the time CU I felt like what's wrong with me like I worked really hard in my degree I got first and then I was coming to all these employees like look I'm going to work really hard and I really really put my heart into it and then I'd be like can I got all first and then something would happen and I wouldn't get the job or whatever and I I think eight times is a lot God was really trying to tell me don't work for someone else like he was was like arum I'm going to keep pushing you away from these opportunities like you you got to get it together wake up wake up arum and then I woke up and then I was like okay cool now no one can find me well that's awesome it led to this so that's that's the perfect Journey yeah I think um talking about women and how women are in society and how they're perceived in society I think um do you think that women get judged more than men they have more they have higher expect to look good to to look this certain way to speak in a certain way to sit in certain way what do you think about that definitely I I go back to this example if a guy posts that he's bought a new car everyone's gas for him everyone's like talking about it when I posted that I got a new car I had so many people messaged me be like I was just a Mercedes it's just this it's just and I was like what do you drive tell me what car you drive I want to know you know like it's very double standards very double standards I'm very very in the weeds when it comes to like talking about racial I don't know the correct word for it actually but racial representation and then gender differences I I really like talking about those two things but yeah I see that very strongly do you see it oh for sure sure for sure and it's interesting because I wanted to ask you do you feel like you get you would get these kind of comments or hate more from women or men is that something you've noticed no I think it's 50 50 I would say women are a lot more intentional with their hate and they're a lot more deep but and they spend their time watching me but men they'll just kind of be like it's not that good anyways do you know what I mean it's kind of like a bit of like it's just like a random like thoughtless comment yeah yeah whereas girls will like dissect it and be like actually on October 17th you posted this okay I understand and I'm like why are you watching me so hard like you're like thank you for the view though so yeah I mean uh for me I've gotten a lot of hate but for me it was a lot for men tell me who it was I don't know for men and for me it's just like I feel like when I talk when I talk a lot about like women issues in in my Clips all the hate are from men and I'm like it's not even about you you know what I mean I feel like men just get triggered comment that back be like's not even about you yeah actually yeah I like that yeah but that's just that's just how H how have you dealt with like these type of hate comments do you just ignore them do you reply back what do you do if I got a funny reply I'll reply back but if it's like someone seriously trying to hait on me like I'm not giving you a time like really you you you don't deserve the the time or energy honestly yeah and I think like the time it takes for me to respond to a hate comment is the exact amount of time it takes me to say Thank you so love comment why would I not I love that yeah that's a great Point yeah it's like but the thing of social media is that when you have like a thousands of positive comments when you have thousands of positive comments even if you have like one hate comment you know you it just stucks in it gets stuck in your head right someone said to me if there's a queue of 100 people hugging you and one person doesn't you're going to remember the name of the person that doesn't so true right so true and I think that's been like kind of my struggle with social media in terms of you know looking at the positive looking at everyone that's showing you love especially because this is new for me I'm not sure how how that's been like for you the climate is different when I was 21 I'm 28 now so that was 7 years ago social media was a very different landscape it was very few brown girls that was posting openly like just like even pictures and I cuz I've never been editing my photos I'm always a bit silly in my stuff like I was a bit different there was some amazing amazing women that existed on social media before me who all their names have escaped me actually I can't even think of a single one it's fine yeah but I'll message you after as you include our usernames like amazing but I was just doing it differently cuz I was one of the younger ones and I think that I was very free I didn't know that I was going to end up having like 600 700k I was just posting cuz I was like I look really pretty there oh my God this outfit is so cute you know what I mean yeah just celebrating little moments and little things of Life yeah I would say though like sometimes when you do get trolling you just kind of sit there and I'm like what did I do why did I do that why did I join social media how could I have allowed how could I have known that this was what was going to happen how could I have stopped it from happening but the reality is I'm the one that's posting every single day I'm going to be reaching out to the whole world there's going to be some crazies there you know you kind of have to take as we said the good with the bad yeah yeah yeah I think that's a beautiful realization to have but it's a hard one when you get into social media so it's it's really cool to see how you've navigated to that because you're also very sassy like I feel like on social media you were saying I was telling you that you make like these funny jokes but and it's true you're very like sassy and funny so you're able to kind of manage that really well with your humor I guess I hope so I think it comes down to self-awareness and like if people just remember at the end of the day that like we don't know each other this is a screen that you're having a one-way dialogue with one-way communication with me yeah you can just put the phone down and leave be it a good or a bad interaction it's never that deep do you know what I mean and I think having that self awareness and that just general awareness of of what it really is because the second that you get really really into it and you have you got to love someone to hate them the fact that someone can really pick up their phone and send them a nasty message I'm just like oh you like me someone she's illusional probably am but like keeps me keeps me as sleep at night so it's fine no but it's true for sure and I think like those people who send that message they would never do that in face to face they don't have the courage to do my TR to one of my events yeah and she came it was an exhibition she came on her own stood right at the front of the queue stared at me whilst in the queue I didn't recognize her and then she came to my stand and I had like I was telling by Aria I had like a group of people and I was like talking to the crowd yeah and she was just stood there and I I felt like I recognized I didn't know where and I looked at her and I goes oh I I I recognize you how do we know each other and then she was like you know me from Tik Tok and then I was like okay weird answer weird energy W atude okay wio you're on your own at a wedding exhibition why like one of your friends that's so strange like so she just stayed there staring just me also she didn't even come didn't say anything didn't do anything and then left I promise you once I left I remember I looked my girl Emma I looked at her and I was like her name I know how using it like it all hit me and I was remembered the fact that you hate me enough to have trolled me online showed up to an event on your own you have to to love me because I looked to you I had no idea who you are you know yeah they would never do anything the energy to like find someone go to their event like drive to that place see what time you're be there on time like fast in the key exactly fine fixing my hat yeah okay got it yeah just fix it it's fine yeah you look beautiful thank you thank you so do you I your eye shadow thank you what is it uh which one is this I don't know it's my sister's I don't even know what it's called it's nice I'm not a like I'm not very good at makeup I like it cuz it's one color right yeah yeah I really like that yeah and then the purple eyeliner I it's like my go-to is purple your favorite color no red okay red but I also love purple but anyway what's yours my favorite color is black oh black yeah cute my secret favorite color is pink but don't tell any but why is it a secret black is my brand I do love black it suits me um yeah black is like very chic you know yeah it's very London color yeah makes sense wear all black but pink just makes me happy when I see it I wouldn't wear it like a lot but when I see it when Mi yeah that's cute so going back to the conversation um we were talking about social media and how how that's like do you think there's this um pressure on women uh to to look a certain way to have you know these you know these beauty standards but then when you also invest in skincare when you also invest in all of these products you kind of be get made fun of on social media have you seen that I haven't seen the making fun of side I'm very much on the girly girl the girly girl yeah it's because like I've seen a lot of these jokes especially by men when they're like oh women they all they do is care about like their skin but then also men are always like oh I want a woman who's like you know who looks naturally beastful make like what what do you mean so that's what I mean you know like is that something you've experienced or seen um regarding Beauty Sanders I think again it comes down to who you're following follow people that make you feel good about yourself if following that if following me makes you feel bad unfollow me that's completely fine but I would say that I think regarding the discourse around filters and then Beauty Aesthetics Etc I have nothing against it that is your personal choice to do it and I think lot of people talk about feminism in a very extreme way and say no don't wear makeup and it's like no feminism means a choice to do what you want so if you're choosing to do fill fillers if you're choosing to use filters on your Instagram every day you are completely empowered to do so on my way I look at things by arum we have um a filter and it's the world's first fully inclusive hair filter so have you tried it no no I'm going to send you the link oh I want to try it yeah so it works on um hijabs and turbin yeah cuz those who cover their head they don't get to use the hair filters that's crazy that's so cool thank you mozzini Studio that's m o z z a r i n i Studio created it they're amazing please include this cuz they really deserve their flowers yeah and um we do not distort your features at all it just gives glitter in the hair and like a little bit of a blur that's it oh oh that's amazing how did you get the idea of starting that that mozzer studio approached me and it was just such a good idea makes sense they did it perfectly wow I love that I so I think like filters like we can talk about it but like some some are fine some really just add a cute little effect do you know what I mean but I just think a lot of things get lumped into that discourse like she doesn't really love she uses filters and oh she doesn't really look like that naturally like that's not her real lips and stuff like that and I'm like first of all as a woman you shouldn't be speaking like that about another woman yeah truly if you are trying to empower some and you empowering them to have the choice to do whatever they want with their own body but second of all that like not all do you know what I mean not all filters do that not all and like it's okay if you use a filter and it's okay if you don't like it's it's it's completely up to how you feel as a person when you're posting online and like I don't know I feel like this whole idea of judging people on social media judging people face to face just because of how you look it's just it's it's very toxic you know what I mean that's almost like a homogenization of what is defined as Beauty because of social media before you were just the prettiest girl in your Village because you didn't have a window to the west of the world yeah now and like that would have meant that like maybe Indians we thought that big eyes is beautiful but then say if you go to another part in the world like it could be that big noses is beautiful but now everyone has to look the same you have to have big eyes a Scoopy nose like a European nose big lips like it's so boring yeah it's so boring right everyone looks the same yeah exact and for me growing up it was like brown color is not as beautiful as white so for me it was like that and growing up it's just like when I think about it you know in Pakistan and in they societies there's like those fair and lovely be be white those kind of creams and I was think there a brand called be white no no no not be white it's like what it promoting no it's called fair and lovely so it's like about being fair and like the ads are literally like a woman she's really sad when she's brown and then she becomes whiter and whiter and then she's like really happy that's literally the seen that no it's crazy it's crazy this is a real thing so yeah growing up I saw all of these things and I was just thinking about it like brown color is what makes me me like it's my identity and like why on Earth would I want to be would all of us just want to be white and just all of us just want to be the same skin color just because that's Beauty and I just found that so like weird because we're not embracing our own identity we're kind of being racist to ourselves literally and I think the burden isn't on people with dark dark skin to fight against it the burden is on the people in the place of privilege those with light skin you need to turn around and say I like musy don't say I'm pretty cuz I'm lied no because I agree you know yeah you it's easier to accept a compliment than it is to ask for a compliment you know and like darker skinned people are going to have to ask to be called beautiful potentially but lighter skinned ones are getting it like no you have to reject that compliment straight away St away yeah I think that's a very interesting perspective I never realized that it's also about like how you would accept the compliment and if you really want to empower other women who are brown encourage that but this is reflective of the world like CIS white men are in positions of power it's going to be very difficult to women of color to be able to climb up that ladder without the assistance they need to they have to be aware of it they have to open the doors they have to make an intentional effort they have to put in place quotas for the amount of people that they have working for them that are female that are women of color that are women neurodiversity that have physical um differentiations like whatever it might be age differences the power is coming from the top they need to be in sync with what's going on and do you think that's happening that's gradually happening what do you think of the space in which it's happening I have not existed in the corporate wealth for so long so I don't know how that's changing if I'm honest my touch touch point with anyone who has like a job job generally tends to be in PR um and I think girls who work in PR are very very aware um of like the social sensitivities and stuff like that so I would say from my perspective in London being a very Progressive City I think things are moving in a really nice place but I would like to see it fued more from the top rather than us lot trying to campaign that we deserve XYZ yeah for sure and I think yeah it's just this is an eye opener for me cuz I never kind of realized that growing up I was compared a lot with my sister my sister is very fair she's beautiful and so I was compared in in terms of our skin color and I was thinking oh like so I'm I'm not as beautiful just because of something that I can't control like my skin color but my my sister was never like she always called me beautiful she was like you know you should not listen to these people and how impactful was that yeah honestly it was because of my sister where now I'm kind of in the position where I'm like oh I am beautiful you know what I mean so oh thank you but uh yeah it was her it was someone who was considered beautiful empowering me yeah and I think that's that's that's an interesting way to eliminate this if you're blessed to have a privilege you need to use it to open the doors for others 100% And funnny enough Like Me growing up like I only knew my family and like we're all kind of the same color and I didn't know it was a thing and I used to go like on holiday when I was younger and I used to lie there in the Sun and I used to be like okay tan me son God you know what I mean and I think I was so cool when I came back to school with like a really dark tan it was only when I went to UNI that I realized that like there was a bias against it like I was just really like a little little like test bunny someone should have done studies on me what is it like when you put this girl into an Indian Community for the first time you know yeah this is like a whole different perspective I've never like had a an interview about this where you you never got exposed to to that kind of yeah yeah yeah but because you were surrounded by you know a lot of fair fair skinned I don't know how to call it like white skinned individuals um know why like like it was like European and like yeah Turkish Greek that type of vibe yeah yeah did you how did you feel about your skin color in that sense were you proud that you were different I was so unaware that I was different it was just such a diverse Secondary School in particular like I just I never felt that I was different or the same or anything cuz we were all different okay interesting interesting sorry babe come do it come do it cuz I keep playing with it I'm not getting all right we always bring a hair band hair brush thank you for me it looks perfect I don't notice it I don't notice it and ni everything yeah makes sense oh you always bring a hairbrush hairbrush yeah yeah thank you good awesome oh are you okay yeah okay um and coming back to the beauty space and how we were talking a lot about beauty standards and how they're imposed on women uh what do you think about beauty standards on men is that something you've seen is that also I don't know if it's as severe as as as for women what do you think of about that I never think about men you know what I mean like I just never like I'm so in the girl world I understand um speaking on behalf of my dad and my brother yeah I think that there's a general expectation of a man to be big and masculine however like you meet girls that are going to be like oh my God I love the skinny guy with tattoos or like I like Dad Bard guys and I think like there's so much diversity in the way that women have a preference towards men whereas I think there's less diversity in the way that men have a preference towards women oh yeah do you know what I mean so I think there's like a smaller boundary that women can kind of operate in that's like generally universally pretty but like I think men have a bit more of a wider and it might be like most girls just like a big strong guy but some girls don't and I think like there's always going to be space for them so I think it's probably a little bit easier but there's going to be a man watching this telling me it's not so comment below teach me there'll always be someone to HTE honestly always but um yeah I think that's a very interesting Insight because I didn't um I mean we know that for women there's a lot more severe um specific standards put on them but then it's also that women I don't know they like a more they're they have more diverse tastes in men I feel like right I don't even think it's hate commenting either I think like commenting is a good thing when it's start a conversation oh yeah that's that's the best as long as you're sparking a conversation no matter what it is like people are actually talking about like that that showcase that what you're talking about is is interesting it relates to people like this is only one hour we can only scratch the surface you know there's going to be so many different opinions true true that's that's a great Point actually it's not just H yeah yeah for sure and um we were talking about men and and and these standards um going back when we were talking about earlier you mentioned marriage um I'm I'm not sure if you mentioned I was actually watching a real about you talking about marriage that you you attended one of your wedd one of a wedding a wedding and then you saw um girls getting married but the thing you were worried about is how you look and not how you look but the picture always what I care about yeah you don't know like I'm going to care about the pig no but that's important like a picture is a memory so yeah yeah no so what do you think of of marriage and like again you were saying that you you were living in a very different in society or culture so maybe this pressure of marriage I'm not sure if you felt it or if you had it but what do you think of of of this of this pressure in general being completely honest I see a lot of people treating marriage in their 20s like musical chairs do you know that game yeah of course yeah and it's kind of like a rush to whoever I'm stand next to I could call it it's you I went to one class with at Uni with you and you seemed okay and like you can only see what people see do you know what I mean like what they show you so might not be the case but I think like when you're 25 your prefontal cortex is fully developed up until then you really aren't accountable for the decisions you're making how can we make a decision that's going to last our lifetime before you are 25 that is such a big thing and you know what it is in your 20s those are your formative years you are developing and changing so much you're at the beginning of this journey of growing in one year you're going to message me and we're going to be like oh my go throw back we filmed the podcast today and you're going to be like oh my God I was looking at the video and I was so young and the way that I was speaking was so different and where I've been like my growth has been my growing up has been documented for the last seven years me and Z we spent 3 hours the other day deleting just a bunch of Instagram posts just because I was like this isn't really serving me to have this Tik Tok dance of me on here no one does that anymore why do I have that delete Gone Gone Gone Gone Gone But seeing that growth is crazy crazy crazy for you to commit yourself to someone and I think rare occasions it does work and I think it's the most beautiful beautiful story and I wish it worked 100% of the time but you're changing so much let yourself change and develop into something a bit more firm you know know yourself a little bit before you make that lifelong commitment because you have to allow your partners to know themselves as well then you really know that's the one for me versus like a kind of like mushy fetus when you're 21 you know but it does work out for some people and truly it's the most blessing blessed thing to see a healthy happy relationship yeah yeah I think I love the idea that you know it's very important to develop as a person and to know how to love yourself and to have your identity before you can you know love someone else before you can um have a partner before you can kind of grow and have this the rest of your life with someone else like that's a hug and I don't want people to feel like it's not possible like you can do that with someone if they are one like you know God will God will bring that person into your life when you're ready but I think there's such a fear still in this generation around being like and I'm not speaking about myself because I don't comment on whether I'm single married kids in a relationship I really don't yeah but to be plus 30 and single whereas like a lot of my friends who are 38 they're like Aram you're in your 20s that's when everyone's getting married I'm in my 30s that's when everyone's getting a divorce and this is the thing people get married publicly they get divorced privately you are never going to see that thing fail so you're just watching someone's highlight reels and you're sat there watching their wedding dance with their dad crying because you feel lonely but really you're not going to sit there and see when potentially why I would never wish this upon anyone but 10 years later because they just settled they're no longer able to be with that person or they're in an unhappy relationship it's not 100% of the time but it does happen yeah you just don't hear about it yeah yeah I think that's a crazy realization because that's true like you celebrate and marriage is beautiful I'm and you should celebrate it's beautiful but it's just the way it is that this is something that's very public and then that divorce and and hardship and the challenges in relationship those are all very private and you they should yeah and as whatever your choice is but um I just think like someone once said like it's better to be 35 and single than to kind of like have a lot of decisions that you I can't say what I'm going to say actually okay I'll say offline I'm going to say like then to be married and Divorced with kids you get what I'm trying to say but delete that b complete sense makes complete sense and actually I like this is something for me personally growing up marriage was always a topic at the lunch table table this was always there and I know there's like this pressure to get married at a certain AG especially in our society where it's like you know my sister she got married when she was like 22 23 yeah 23 um and I'm 21 and so sometimes it's like oh does that mean I only have 2 years but I don't even know like who I am you know what I mean my God but like imagine making the wrong decision exactly I made the wrong decision no but for me I've talked to my parents about that this is something that I really cannot do right now and so and but for some people it works like my sister she's so happy and I'm so happy for her so it really depends from person to person but I feel like in our society at least it's changing it is definitely changing but the acceptance for women who choose to get married later it's it's it's not there yet I say like I come from a family of divorce like my parents got divorced when I was two so that was very normal for me and I remember like most people I know in London their parents are divorced so knowing that that's an option and actually living the reality of what it's like to be in a co-parenting household it makes you realize how important it is to make the right decision however I always say this you will always make the best decision that you can with the information you have at that time you may not know that your future husband is a pyromaniac you may only realize that 20 years later don't be mad at yourself for marrying him when you were you know what I mean like you can only make the best decision with the information you have true time but there is also one thing that like a lot of people talk about growing with the individual that you get married to so even if you get married young or later like that growth is will always be there so it's hard to kind of identify oh like okay now I'm firm now I can get married you know what I mean yes yes when you know you know okay yeah makes sense yeah that's that's because a lot of people ask me oh when what age do I want to get married and I'm like I don't know cuz you could know at 21 one do you know what I mean you could be like yeah I'm I'm sure of it it's a feeling isn't it yeah true it's all about the feeling yeah that's that's I was getting fired from all my jobs at 21 so clearly not and now you're here that's so cool um how was it like getting the award I I wanted to know more about it that was that was just so so cool it was so cool so um just for context I won the Middle East beauty influencer of 2023 and I was nominated and I kind of thought okay well I don't live in the Middle East I'm up against a bunch of like Arab influencers I feel like I'm not going to win but I'll go that's fine I'll go for a cute event you know and then it was really funny because I made friends with all the influencers they were all so nice and we were all so different and every time they were announcing the award we all had our phones ready cuz obviously we're trying to film it who's the winner and they left us till last so we just started playing a game which was who do we think is going to win out of all the nominees and then they announced my one and I was like like oh my God I like quickly sat on my phone I had the flash on me and I thought every it's a dark room everyone can see that I'm sat here with a flash back flash on my face if I lose this is going to be really really embarrassing but you took the risk took the risk listen the video and the video is so cute I love the video really did you see me I looked at my dad and I was like and you were like do you know why they said my name really weird they were like K and I was like who who you took a pause right you paused and then did you see like your picture and then you were like okay that's me no all the influencers turned their cameras on me yeah they all start filming me and I was like cuz you can see me looking at them cuz I'm oh my God they were filming me like guess I'm getting up now and I was wearing a long dress and I was like Aram don't trip yeah but I was okay I'm good in like public environments I'm good in social situations so I was good um I was just so gassed and it was such an unrelenting happiness straight after they took me to go do some like press interviews blah blah blah and we were LED there by someone and me and my dad were behind and I was saying to my dad film everything do not film do not miss anything and he he hates filming he hates this man films like upside down I don't know what he's doing and he hates it cuz I'm always mad at him and he was just like this and he was like just in shock and then once I'd done all the things I just looked at him he looked at me and we were both like like that just happened I won and I was just like yeah I won let's go and I facetimed everyone I texted Z immediately she was like you deserve it you deserve it and that doubt that I had the next day we sat down and I we just blasted it to everyone like my UK PR agency was posting about it my Dubai PR agency was posting about my influencer agency like my team like we rinsed it and I thought you know what no one was going to rinse it more than me I really gave publicity to the thing but I also used it as a as a stepping stone for me to reestablish myself in this market yeah and uh yeah it's gone like this now I'm really happy I love that I love that for you That's so exciting and honestly you should celebrate it like this is this is crazy cool and and we were talking about how like you you keep forgetting about it and then everyone keeps reminding you but and like I don't know it's just you you should celebrate it like you know go out for din though Dubai people love to celebrate they love the little dessert and the sparklers and the presents but I love this about the Dubai culture it's very much like we we can all succeed I think it's an abundance mentality here I think in London it's a bit more gate I think it's a bit more like it's UV me yeah exactly exactly whereas here everyone celebrating your win from the bottom of their hearts I felt it I could be wrong no but it's true but like do you feel like you you meet I don't know fake people here what what do you think of the people here in terms of like Community wise I have a really lovely group of friends and I think people are very friendly here but you know when you just kind of like have your set group of friends so I'm I'm cool with people on like a surface level and like you know I think you always end up with someone in your path for some reason whether I came into your life to I don't know teach you about hair care give you this oil maybe you just really need it at this time that's my purpose maybe you came to inspire me to talk a little bit more about beauty Sanders that was the purpose if it's anything more then it's more but I think Dubai has an mentality of like what can I do for you what can you do for me and I don't think that's a bad thing so you don't know what purpose you're going to serve in someone's life interesting how how do you think the community is there in UK then relatively um you know I've lived in London all my life so I have a very established like Friendship Circle again I would say like London I get recognized all the time and I would say that it's a very confident approach that people have which I really like it's a familiarity because it's like oh she's one of us like she's a UK girl like it's it's arim we can go up and talk to her whereas in Dubai I think when I get recognize people are a bit like oh okay okay and they kind of like don't say anything that's true that's true that's actually shy it's so funny cuz like even my younger sister she posts on Tik Tok and stuff so uh there were a few people who recognized her some girls and they were like talking to themselves looking directly at us and being like no it's too awkward and I'm like I think this is more Awkward like not approaching yeah cuz we can see just do a wave I would say you can gauge someone's like if if who did I see there day Michaela Cole do you know her she's an amazing actress in the UK she's done amazing work uhuh I respect her so much I saw her I was at Abu Dhabi for the UFC uhhuh and like she's so recognizable I'll show you a picture of her later and I saw her I didn't even hesitate I just like touched her on the arm cuz I walked past her also I shouldn't have touched her that was really weird of me now I'm thinking about it why did I touch her but I was like I just wanted to let you know that I really love your work and then she so s makes me so happy she so sincerely looked at me and she was like thank you that means so much to me so sincerely and then I just walked away and she just like continued with her thing I think that interaction with her made me love her so much more like I really was fine ging after I was like oh my gosh she looked at me in the eyes but like how much more enriching of my experience it was so cute in Abu Dhabi was it that I got the chance to see her and just give her a compliment versus if I just looked at her from afar and kind of did like a me she feels awkward I feel awkward exactly and and I'm sure she would notice it that's the thing like the person would notice it that's what makes it and and now you remember that and it's just now every time you would think of her you would think of that cute little encounter yeah like you lose Nothing by just being like a little hey you know and you you can gauge someone's Vibe like I knew she wasn't down to talk anymore I was also like with my dad like why would I you know stand in the middle of like it's night time have just a cute little yeah yeah that was perfect yeah definitely I think London people are good at that uhuh they they have a bit of confidence with it but I think in Dubai people maybe they're just a bit more polite or they just don't want to intrude or something like that yeah perhaps yeah that's that's a that's a great Insight in do you want to change anything okay have face yeah so we're at the end of this conversation I truly truly truly enjoyed talking to you it was full of insights honestly like I know about the beauty standards I know that this exists but it's just a diff it's a a different outlook on um based on from your experiences what you've seen on social media everything so I feel like it was very interesting to see you know how it's like for men how it's like for women but more on women of course um so thank you very much for your time I truly loved it I have a little gift for you that I have for my guest stop it yeah I I hope you like me I love yeah you said you love correct so thank you so much shall I look in it yes yes of course you can open it you can take it out wait have you put a letter in there so that's the letter is inside the Box actually but that's the list of te's in in the okay beautiful we're going to read that later this this is um really nice packaging by the way uh really nice did you pick it yourself no so feel good tea they're like a it's a partnership with f good tea so this is one of my favorite um boxes from them I love this thank you so much okay grab your present oh I was so shocked I didn't know this was like a little gift is my pleasure right let me explain it to you let me explain it to you so this is the bi Aram hair oil 100% natural eight pure oils inside you use this as a pre-wash treatment it's non- greasy it's amazing if you're living in the GCC and you're suffering with hard water dust sand sweat Seaburn this is going to restore the moisture back to your hair and help it grow so enjoy thank you you I'm not even kidding I'm not just saying this but I was literally looking for hair oils literally like just two days ago and um I was looking at the bym hair oil as well but I was just like searching a couple cuz I was like I think I need some for my hair but like this is like perfect timing I'm not even kidding thank you this means soome you're soome thank you honestly this is so cute you really did have guessing me up this is so cute thank you you're so welcome and I hope you like the it's like all those little different like tea yeah I just love the packaging to be honest stunning I'm going have to try some this is my favorite favorite one I love it what's your favorite flavor um the classic the lemon the lemon te one okay nice I can see some Rose one oh there's a yeah I haven't tried that one rose is my favorite I think this one oh yeah was my favorite thing ever okay so maybe you like that I think so yeah thank you thank you very much this was awesome I really really enjoyed it