This is what charm looks like, and in this video, I'm going to break it down into four simple habits. >> You grew up in palaces. >> There there was un- unpainted palaces. It was a big struggle. The first habit of charming people is externalized positive emotion. You will see charming people crack jokes early in an interaction. Uh this is the first time we moved out of that studio because when the Nawab summons, you show I thought you were going to say this is an award-winning actor Thank you. Thank you. So, I think so. Okay, fair enough. Okay, which is The mindset that will help you here is that conversation is an opportunity to enjoy yourself. When you adopt this mindset, you'll naturally notice opportunities to crack jokes early in a conversation like this. A topic that leads to frequent family disagreements. We don't don't disagree that much. Usual stuff. Inheritance, land dispute, property, money. >> Holidays. But what if you're at work where you can't necessarily crack jokes, or you just can't think of anything funny to say? Rely on the Duchenne smile. A Duchenne smile is a smile that lights up your whole face, and specifically your eyes. This kind of smile is infectious, and it will instantly lift the mood of everyone around you. Uh Kamal Sadanah was in the movie, so he threw out Kamal Sadanah and took me for no fault of Kamal, and then found that I'm much worse, and then threw me out and took him. And then Kamal and I became friends because we just thought it's absurd what's happening with us. The point here isn't to plaster a smile on your face constantly. People will sense it, and in those cases, I recommend you stop smiling because we are all naturally good at noticing polite or social smiles that vanish immediately after you're done talking. The easiest way to do this naturally is to make that emotion real inside of yourself, and then all you have to do is reveal it as you speak. >> Arbaaz Khan actually said uh You know, you should get it I just had a hit film, and I had really long hair. He had a long hair. He said, "What you should do is get a haircut." And I thought, "What? That's like That doesn't make any sense." You'll be surprised to know that every conversation with a new person tends to have a similar structure where people will ask you the same questions. One such question is, "Where are you from?" Most people say the name of their hometown and then stop speaking. That's why conversation immediately dies down because just naming a town or a village gives the other person nothing to talk about. Instead, watch this and notice how he gives the other person so much to work with. >> Okay, I was born in Carmichael Road in town. Then I we moved away, and I lived all over. Correct. I lived in Bhopal and Pataudi and Delhi and London. Uh And then when I came back after I joined movies, the first place I stayed was in Rashmi again in Carmichael Road. But I basically moved here to Andheri first. >> Obviously, most of us have not lived all over the world like him. But we can all still use this question as an opportunity to reveal more information about ourselves. Watch how Saif links his time in Delhi to how he got into acting. That's why we moved to Delhi, and it was great living in Delhi. We had a lot of fun. I think that was the generation of these designers like Rohit Bal, Rohit Khosla, you know, Ashish Soni, and these people were among the first people I'd come across who were doing something off the beaten track in terms of art and culture. Um which might have somewhere planted a seed of, you know, why not go and act in films or try and do that. >> Another question you'll get asked all the time is, "What do you do?" I teach a simple three-step framework on how to answer this question on my email newsletter. You can join it by clicking the link in the description. But maybe you're stuck talking about something boring, and you would like to transition to a more interesting topic. The way to do that is very simple. It's five words. This is very random, but after that, you can talk about whatever you'd like to bring up. If you're watching the channel for the first time, my name is Sidhant, and our whole goal with this channel is to make social skills easily accessible for you. If that sounds interesting, please click the subscribe button so you never miss one of our weekly videos. One counterintuitive insight about conversation is that you don't literally have to answer every question. Instead, you can take what they're saying and talk about something related. Here he's asked about the lessons he's learned from history, and watch how he instead reframes it to talking about history in general. Yeah, the thing I love about history, okay, is that there are all these people like there's things that are lost in time, you know, like the Library of Alexandria, like all of Aristotle's books. I mean, the only thing surviving are his notes, you know. Um so, there's all these great people that have been lost, but we get a chance to kind of meet these people in history, you know, you can meet like you can like almost have a conversation with you know, Plato and Alexander the Great by reading the books. So, When you meet someone new, the goal is to figure out if they are a right fit for you given your values and interests. The way you can figure this out is by talking about your taste. Watch how Saif does that here as he links his movie Laal Kaptaan to William Dalrymple's work. >> It is a western, and a western is basically this kind of lone swordsman, very like, you know, Yojimbo kind of, but made with the colors and the kind of Indian setting of what William Dalrymple calls the anarchy, you know, that whole time when things are shifting, really dangerous kind of desert wilder than the wild west. So, you can't say no to it. >> Now, if you're interested in his work, you will likely ask him a follow-up question about it. And when you start doing this more generally, the right people will be interested in talking to you. Here's a great example of a moment of connection as he brings up his interest in Greek and Indian myths. >> No, even when the success was on, you're like, "Okay, this is a phase." And I said, "Perhaps it's because of understanding a little bit about history that and I'm also quite into mythology and the Greek myths and the Indian myths and all this kind of stuff." So, you're aware that the gods are watching, you know, so you shouldn't be too um arrogant Yeah, hubris. >> One final trait of charming people is that they make other people feel special like this. >> And I want to start by asking, what is the secret to aging with such panache? Uh well, should I take that first? Are you are you cuz are you aging No, that's right. Are you even aging? If you'd like to learn how to do that, watch this video.