music playing When someone hears the phrase 'multiple personalities' it likely stirs up images from the 1976 movie Sybil, or perhaps the opposing characters of Jekyll and Hyde. Popular culture would have you believe that people with multiple personalities are dangerous, and few and far between. however an estimated 150 million people experience dissociative disorders What is it like to live with multiple people in one body? Today, you'll meet two people, Encina diagnosed eight years ago with dissociative identity disorder who has 11 personalities and you'll meet Minnie, the three-year-old girl who lives inside Encina's body Alright, Encina, tell us where you're from. So, I was born in California and lived there until I was around five years old and my family moved to Arizona, and I've been there ever since. And you have a unique diagnosis of having dissociative identity disorder? A lot of people know that as multiple personality disorder. When were you diagnosed with it? I was diagnosed; I think I was about-- it was like 22 or 23. Okay. and what led to the actual diagnosis? I started having a lot of amnesia feelings which a lot of people are, you know, they They could think of as a normal thing. You know, you forget what you have for breakfast the day before And it just became so big that things were happening it's really hard to explain until you're actually like kind of going through it That I was seeing therapists regularly and And Uh It it was just a diagnosis that ended up happening. So you're having these events in your life. Where you Monday morning? Wake up and you can't remember what you did over the weekend. And Wednesday at night you're going to bed and you're thinking what did I do this morning? What did I have to eat? And you don't think too much of it because people forget stuff but then after 20 to 23 years of this You're seeing a therapist and finally the therapist says look you have dissociative identity disorder Yes, but I've been seeing therapists even before then, but it ended up coming out. Yeah. Yeah, that's what it was and when you you're Encina talking to me right now, yes, but you have Eleven other alters that you can go into. Can you tell me about each one of those? Oh So I can tell you about Basically I have five primary alters which are the ones that I-- You know if I'm gonna switch I switch into them very regularly Um, and uhh I have one that, I usually, in the past I would switch into almost every single day every day -every day? -every single day. And how long did you switch into her, that person? So, she would come out, uh, For hours at a time, and sometimes for days at a time -but did this go on for months, years, days? This was like years. Absolutely, Yeah. -So, let's talk about her. Okay, so, It's gonna sound kind of weird. So basically Let me start from the beginning a little bit. So, People with DID, they get it by having Traumatic reoccurring childhood experiences that were just like unavoidable and it's repetitive usually so it's a lot of like, you know, just different kinds of harming things that are happening to these people that are just Super traumatic and you're saying from your understanding It's not just something that occurs once but something that's occurring getting more regularly. -Yeah, it's absolutely more repetitive. It's stuff That's absolutely reoccurring and people with DID they get it around the ages of like Newborn to around six to seven years old so you can't get DID after that time so To kind of describe it Everybody starts out with multiple personalities if you can kind of imagine that and then as you get older, you know, your personalities come into one person if you've experienced trauma Reoccurring trauma as a child, you know, usually before that age those ages Your personalities stay split and as a child These traumatic experiences are going to create these different personalities and these different 'alters' if you will, and Basically They're what you're taking from around you so some people will have alters that are like animals some people will have alters that are completely like nonliving things like rocks Which sounds very odd? But it's it's what you know as a child what can protect you and those alters become your protectors so it's not a bad thing that they're there Do you want to talk about what happened in your childhood that caused you to develop DID? So, I don't remember the majority of my life up until like around six years old. I have like very small little clips, I guess but like only a couple of them. But I know that it was a sexual abuse thing and it did happen with My father along with like some of his friends. And you know this happened, but for the most part you can't remember it so It wasn't up until I started seeing my therapist and I started like becoming more aware of my alters and knowing they were So when my when I first started understanding that I had DID obviously your first Thought and first want to do is to fight against it. I don't want this. I don't want multiple personalities You know, it's not a good thing like you want to get rid of them You can't get rid of DID. You can never even get rid of an alter. They're always going to be there when the so these things happen to you when you were a kid and Then through your teens and early 20s, you were experiencing symptoms of DID, but it was undiagnosed Mhm And then you went to therapy and got diagnosed with DID and you total have eleven Alters five of which are primary, but one used to come out every day. Let's start with her Okay, so she is her name is Minnie and she's a three year old girl And that's one of your alters. She's one of my alters now, is she you? When you were three No So she she was like the first one the next one that ended up coming out Was Devin and Devin is Minnie's? Caretaker if you will so if there's something that is happening that a three-year-old shouldn't be seeing she'll take over instead Devin will take over. Mhm. So Devin's a girl. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so Devin will come out. Mm-hmm It's kind of like Minnie has DID. I feel like and he has to become Devin in order to kind of kind of so like if a traumatic experience is happening like the first thing in alters like The first thing that they want to do is they want to help so what they do is they take over So that's what they would do when I was a child, you know If a traumatic experience was happening to me as a child They would take over they would basically drive the body if you will kind of like a car Are you aware that you've been taken over? So usually I wasn't because I wasn't aware of all of that. But as You know, I went through life and I started experiencing Okay, I get dizzy or I get kind of like like tired and things like that. I started recognizing that okay I'm getting ready to switch and as I started to work with them instead of against them it became a lot easier and it became like Okay, I'm going to switch they're just going to take over. It's not a big deal. Okay, fine. We started to communicate with each other through a diary and Which was the only way that I could communicate with some of them. I've never even met all of them myself. I am Co conscious With five of them meaning if they're out I can see what they're seeing if they decide So they can decide to kind of block me out if I'm not Co conscious and I'm completely like in an amnesia state then, you know It's usually one of the other alters or something else is happening one of the six. Yeah When is the last time Minnie came out? She actually Doesn't come out as often anymore. I was in some pretty Abusive relationships and she would come out all the time because of that but She hasn't been out for about a month now all month. Mm-hmm. Okay? Yeah, tell me about the last time she was out what was the context it was just kind of playing around and Just hanging out at the house, and she comes out and she wanted to color so she colored She's got her own like coloring books and stuff And how long was she out? Um Maybe an hour And were you co-conscious Mhmm. Yea. experience being Co conscious with many so Let me let me put it like this when When many decides to come out she kind of she does this thing where it's kind so she doesn't front fully meaning she's not taking over the body fully She'll kind of like peek through my eyes to see who's around and see a it's safe for her to even be herself and if it is She'll take over the body she fronts and she will be herself doing what she does and If she feels kind of nervous It's her way of holding my hand If I'm Co conscious if I can see meaning if she gets a little too nervous then I'll just take over again if she's completely like oh I've got this like I'm not nervous with this person. It's okay. Sometimes she'll just block me out And meaning like I'm kind of like an amnesia State. Hmm Is that scary it used to be it used to be really scary because When I go through things like anxiety when it's like a really scary anxiety or something where I feel like very unsafe, basically, I Go through a lot of amnesia stuff, and I've had times where you know I would be watching TV or something and then I'd wake up or come to and I was like in the middle of the street somewhere else and I was like, where am I? That doesn't happen now But it did in the past. Why do you think it doesn't happen as much a minute? I think it's just because Me along with my alters. They we know that we're not in a dangerous situation anymore We're not so as your life improved or di D has improved. Yeah Is that a common? Is that common with people who have di D? I I believe it is Yeah, as long as you're taking care of yourself and you're you know, seeing a therapist still at least, you know Make sure that it's somebody who knows what di D is and how it works then absolutely, you know Who who knew being with a supportive? Boyfriend, you know what helped? You are in a relationship and it is a healthy relief. Absolutely a hundred percent. Yeah that relationship you think may have helped Curb the instances of having these alters. Come on. Oh, yeah 100% you know it you go from being in one relationship where you're terrified for your life every day And then you go to the next one where you're just like you feel so Safe, so content like it nothing could over bad like happen to you again when you were in those terrifying relationships How often were your alters coming up every day every day every single day and how what percentage of those times? were you not Co conscious you were in an amnesia state the majority of the time because I felt very unsafe with the person that I lived with and what happens if you're just driving in a three-year-old alter so that's why Devon is Her protector to make sure that that kind of stuff doesn't happen So what if Devon wants to take over and then she can she's she's 26 years old. Yeah, whew We were in the car. Mm-hmm as encina neared right and in Devon takes over. Mm-hmm and Devon's driving Yeah, and you get pulled over. Mm-hmm and the police officer officer says do you know I pulled you over? and Devon says well, we were going I was going a little fast and he says I want your driver's license and you hand it to him and It says encina and then he says what's your name? And you say so Devon will say encina Devon will say encina the alters. So basically the alters Stay hidden There's like three main rules for alters to stay hidden Unless if they're welcome, you know unless if you know like oh this alters gonna come out I I believe you are an alter. I know that you're not faking I'm not just doing this as like Oh, show me a trick type of thing To keep the past a secret To keep it safe basically and to keep the body safe So within those three things if they're doing those things they're doing their job but there are people who have DID and their alters come out and They're they're not keeping the past a secret and they're they don't care who you are. Usually when it comes to the past That's that's why the majority of people don't realize they even have di D because they have had amnesia in the past They don't know what happened to them in the past They don't know why their mind is working the way that it is and why they're blacking out and why things are happening They don't understand Real quick. Can you list your alters and give me a two to three sentence bio-forge? Oh my god Let's move past that no too much. Yeah, let's move past that no Mikayla, that's it. But why why is that? It's There's so much detail with all of them Like I so I basically in order to talk to all of them. Like I said, I have this journal they all have different Handwriting's they all have different ideas. You have this journal. Yeah. Yeah it's it's something that it's the only way I could communicate with them in order to actually like understand what was happening to me because if you think of this as me and Encena I am also considered an alter How do you know that Devan isn't the real Encena right? You know, and I'm just the one taking over right? You know it's a very scary thought for the person who has the ID because you never know with which like Personality is actually the one that the belongs Yeah, the very original is that appropriate to say the real one or the original? The original, yeah Because I mean because in encina's personality who I'm talking to right now could just be the one that made it to the top. Mm-hmm Yeah, which is why does that bother you? It's not that it necessarily bothers me. It's It's more of a thought of like There's still so much that I don't understand about it. Is that why you don't want to go through your eleven alters they I Think it's just because they're They they have their own lives as well And not all of them want to share everything about it so Again and I don't I'm not pushing your answer. I've never even met all of them personally Like I've only talked to some of them even just through paper So my I have a couple of friends who have met like all of them and They're even a reason that I know of some of the personalities Because because you've never met him I've just never met some of them so can I Think most people would will be interested in learning about these personalities So we we have many mm-hmm three-year-old. Mm-hmm dominant personality comes out the most We have Devin minis caretaker. Yeah. Now there are three more primary ones. Can you talk to us about those? So there's Evolution of listen Evelyn. Mm-hmm There's a Laura now all women all women you have any male alters. I don't I have So I have twin alters Quinn and Quinton Quinton considers Her himself to be kind of versatile. Oh That's the only alter that I have that's like versatile like more gender fluid. Yes, okay I also have an alter. That is a fairy Like not a human. Hmm. That's a Laura a Laura. She's one of the primary five. Mm-hmm. Let's talk about a Laura what does what does she protective so she is I Mean, they're all gonna protect in some way or another but she's basically like a Very calm rational like what can we do to get things done and situated, you know, things like that. Um, so What does she like I know she's calm rational let's get things done What it like how does she talk how does she sit like what he talks she talks very calm She's like thousands of years old from what she says, you know, she's a fairy so she I think she's she's been one of the primary ones, you know, because as a three-year-old, you know you are trying to believe in magic and stuff and I believe that's kind of where it came from right now us as The person you know the Fronter I Don't create altars if that makes any sense like I'm not like thinking Oh, I want this kind of a person so it becomes an altar like it's just that just happened Yeah, that's what you know. Yeah. I think that's a really important thing to understand people are gonna be watching this and thinking Well, this girl's got blue and purple hair and she's thinks that sometimes she like is a fairy I think that's what people are gonna think. Oh, yeah, what's the response to that the responses? I mean the the only thing I can do is just put out the information that I know what I've gone through my experiences whether people believe it or not like it's It's not gonna hurt me I know what I'm going through every single day, you know, like So if people are going through it as well, it's nice to be able to find other Resources that can help yeah, you know well and that's why we're doing this. Yeah, you know, it's You know we were talking Early on about how there are doctors and therapists and psychiatrists who think that this is not even God not even something to be treated because it's a joke. It's silly And not too many decades ago that was the same response for homosexuality, you know, and so as we continue having these discussions and insight and Doing the research I Think the stigma is slowly slowly removed a big stigma also is That D ID is rare and it's not what makes you say that so if you look up the statistics It the D ID affects people, you know the one to two percent of the population of the human population, basically and Bipolar disorder is 2% of the population. Mm-hmm Like there's a lot of other disorders that are also in these small percentages that seem small but when you really think about it that is 75 million people - 150 million people that have been diagnosed Yes, 875 million 250 million people have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder And Eid or an another 75 250 million Yeah, and those are the diagnosed people. Yeah, that's just the diagnosed people That's that's you know again, I didn't know that I had it for 20 years Yeah, we we've talked we've done a few video segments on Bipolar disorder and the amount of that that goes undiagnosed it was staggering Yeah, you know people just think oh you're depressed or a lot. You have these moments of where you're just killing it for Yeah, right, but you know, it's an actual disorder that has to be treated. Mm-hmm. Do you have any alters that are? dangerous No, I had an alter when I was like a teenager That would come out and cause a lot of trouble again It was me thinking that I was just a troubled person because things would be happening and I'd be like, why am I? Yelling like this or why am I this angry? I don't know 14 15 16 around that age And even my mom would be like you're like a very troubled teen like what can we do for you? But you the reason I asked how old you were. Mm-hmm Every teenager goes through that 14 15 16 year old they get an attitude. They're yelling or screaming whatever Yours just happened to be a symptom of something that most people would never even think. Yeah. Yeah So my mom just thought for a long time. I was this troubled teen and Going through the therapy and stuff we were able to basically kind of I'll say this in an easy way for people to understand it kind of mend her into the other alters as well So she's not like her own singular Angry alter anymore. She has become kind of a part of the system as a whole of the system. Mhm So interesting how you think that terminology you used? Mmm-hmm Well, that's why a lot of people with diid they call their system a system They call their all of their altars in general to together. That's their system. Some people it gets so detailed and so Like intense because of how deep their di D goes again. Everybody's is different but With mine I've been able to Make it to where I'm not struggling against it anymore. Yeah I'm going to say something that I'm sure some people will say that's not politically correct and how could you say that but There are those who? Study di D dissociative identity disorder and say that it could be the first superpower of humans, mhm because for example the New York Times did a story on a woman who either as herself or as one of the alters was blind and then as an alter herself she could see so let's just say she as herself as Jessica will say mm-hmm could see but then as an alter was blind there have also been cases of people who said hey I'm Kyle. I don't have diabetes You can take my blood. They go into one of their altars They take blood and those blood tests come back as being positive for diabetes So if if that is true Mm-hmm And you can have blood that is diabetic and then not diabetic and the same human being just because something busy all busy all Something's going on. Yeah that that's a superpower. Mm-hmm. Do you feel like it's a superpower? I feel like people in general have like Power if if you will, you know You have the power to make yourself a happy and healthy person with work. Everything takes work, you know So, I mean I don't want to say it's a superpower as in like one of us is going to be able to fly and the other one can't but I mean I I believe these situations is to be true as well are you happy that you have the ID I am now because without it I would have Traumatically experienced every single encounter that happened to me that caused me to have the ID I would have You know remembered it and it would have been like a this is happening to me Basically, so my alters took over I was blocked out. It happened to them if you will and There will be there were easier this who would say you need to go through that though, I feel like the therapists are more like you have to Remember the past and go through the work to heal from the past in order to heal from it Yes, but not necessarily like you should be getting raped That you should Understand the past. Yes, so you can get absolutely and that's that's what happened My alters ended up coming out and saying like what happened to me and like how it happened So you have gone through so I've gone through the healing. I've gone through the You know work and I'm still going through it. You know, I go through it every day problem. Yeah So like one of the the hardest Instances that I I went through. Well one of the most frustrating ones when I was kind of fighting against this was Devon came out. I became friends with a group of people who knew of Devon and knew of my alters and such But Devon ended up Being in a relationship with somebody that I wasn't in a relationship with so I had to share my time with the body. I Had to know okay Devon's gonna come out and go on her date I'm gonna come out and have to go to school like it was a really frustrating time Were you Co conscious mm. Not the majority of the time So you as the body who are dating this person, mm-hmm, but unaware of it I mean I'm aware of it because I've been told they're dating but when you're out to dinner with this person, I'm a damn No clue. I don't we're not there. Mm-hmm. Couldn't say who the person was where you went I don't know what I had to eat. Mm-hmm. And then you so for me also as One of the statistics that you were talking about I am very sensitive to gluten and My alters are not So when you if right now if you had gluten you would notice the effects Yeah, but if you were Devin, mm-hmm all good all good Wow. Mm-hmm Oh great, but how would you know that if you're not aware? Oh, well, sometimes you are aware Yeah, sometimes I'm aware and like they you know so when I when I eat specific kinds of wheat or bread like I get really tired or I kind of Get a little loopy. Yeah, and they're fine It does not affect them whatsoever Eating bread eating right? Yeah When you meet somebody When do you tell them or do you tell them you have di D? I don't Tell everybody if I'm if I'm really close to somebody Then you know, I might let them know But for the majority of the time like I'm not just going out there and be like, hey, I'm encina I have the ID, you know you're in a relationship. When did you tell him? I told him it? took a couple of months, but You know, I ended up telling him and he's never met anybody with the ID and most people have him. Yeah, so he was very skeptical about it like most people are and He started to understand, you know how it was as he was spending more time with like many and stuff so he's met many and What does he think about that? Oh, he's I mean, it's a normal thing now like he's like, okay You know you have di D. That's fine. And so many just shows up and he Hangs out with a three year old in an adult woman's body. Mm-hmm. Yep People are gonna hear that. Oh, yeah. How is he doing that and how are you doing? I mean that's just gonna be the reaction. Yeah, but you guys have made it work. Yeah Wow, that is really fantastic When you tell somebody, mm-hmm, I have dissociative identity disorder or multiple personality. What is the reaction a lot of people, you know their only Experience from it is from Hollywood MTV yeah, things like that. So they're gonna think oh the Jekyll and Hyde thing they're gonna think oh, are you dangerous some days and not dangerous other days, but I Think that's the majority of the reaction that I get is like, oh, do you do this or does this happen? What are the questions you know questions like, you know, oh Do you do you get really angry at times and laughs? Like where does that come from? Like? No. Yeah, it's it's They're normal people Yeah, so yeah, but it's they're normal people but it is not common Do you have someone who has 11 different personality? Mm-hmm. Some of which that you wouldn't even know you were being yeah But right now I am talking to unseen Yes, and if I was talking to an altar, would that altar lie to me possibly? So there is just two chance. I'm talking to an altar That is just saying there encina So I'm gonna say no because I haven't seen it But I know but I get what you're gonna be others say that absolutely get what you're saying. Yes So there's a chance though if they don't feel safe They're gonna pretend that they're me if they feel safe and they just are doing their thing then they'll be themselves Do you know let's assume you are presenting a cocina Do you know how they feel about all these cameras and lights and craziness? Yeah Yeah, so I actually had a youtube channel like in the past and I wanted to make light of di D not in like I'm making fun of it, but they Let's not take it so seriously and make everybody think that people with di D are You know psychos right? They're gonna kill you or anything. So I started making YouTube videos and I would have my altars come out I would have Some videos where I would basically ask my altars questions as me and then they would respond as so I was a lot of cutting Like of the video and you would have to wait until your altars came out to do that Yeah, so I would have my friends help me film it and stuff. So it was a lot easier to transition into those. Can you? Voluntarily bring out an altar if they want to come out. Yes and only the ones that I'm like Co conscious with really Otherwise like it's it's usually just a traumatic experience Or some kind of like a trigger that will bring them out. So many and Devin. Mm-hmm would be The most likely to come out if you were going to get robbed. Mm-hmm, okay How has it affected your relationships I Don't feel like it actually affected any of them like negatively I have been in a lot of abusive relationship relationships in the past But that wasn't because of my alters it was just because these people were very abusive and now that I'm in a very healthy relationship, it's it kinda is just It is what it is. I guess I don't know. It's hard to kind of explain Yeah, it's fine what was the worst experience of having diee The worst experience would probably be going days Without knowing what was happening not knowing where I have been or what I've done or anything and Don't like tell me about that. I Mean if you wake up, you know days later and You're like where am I? It's a scary feeling? That's probably like I I can't Say that one is like harder than the other necessarily. It's just it's all a very scary experience when you're Not understanding or knowing what's happening when people Ask you to explain What it's like to have DID or what? It's like to have an alter come out. How do you explain that to them? so One description that I could tell you maybe Think of this think of your body as a car. Okay. You're driving your car you're in the front seat and You're doing your thing. So I'm driving my body, you know imagine someone Takes you out and throws you in the backseat Now they're driving. You're in the backseat though You can fight for control of the car or the body You might not always win that fight You can see what's happening just like you can you can, see in the car. You're just sitting in the backseat. You can hear what's happening or what's being said so that's kind of like as if Minnie had come out, but she was holding my hand so I can still see I'm Co conscious. Mm-hmm Say someone stuck a bag over my head threw me in the backseat now I can't see where the body or the car is going. I can't see where I'm going. I can't see what's happening, I can hear though. So it's kind of like a wall has been placed in front of my eyes And that's another way of being Co conscious to a point, but I can't see, I can hear. Imagine someone Let's see, someone threw you in the trunk. Okay. So you're in the trunk of this car. You know that the car is going you can't hear what's happening. You can't see what's happening. You don't know what's happening That is a type of amnesia that is happening to the body and then imagine somebody has Knocked you out thrown you in the trunk and then Drove around did their thing, whatever, and then put you back in the front seat before you woke up and then you woke up. So, now maybe this car is parked in a parking lot or the body has walked somewhere. You don't know where you've been, that's full amnesia. That last experience is what most people think of when it comes to DID, but there's a whole level of like different types of switching or Amnesia, or, you know alters coming out or not. If that makes sense, I think that makes perfect sense. I think that will be the metaphor that people Understand the most without having DID. Mm-hmm, but it amazes me that today, you're happy you have it. Yeah. I'm very thankful. If an experience happens that like I just can't handle. I know that they have my back they're there to help me Mmm, so it's not you know a bad thing What type of doctors do you see and how many do you see for DID? So, unfortunately, I still haven't been able to find a doctor who specializes in DID, in Arizona that is close to me I have spoken to doctors who believe the ID and who are very Reassuring when it comes to it and stuff and who will still talk to me, about it, and things you know, like let me be me and let the alters come out and such. But I I haven't been able to find very many that actually like are close to me and specialize in it. Do you take medicine for this? I don't so there is no medication that you can take to stop switching, or to stop the DID. You can take medications to help with whatever other kinds of diagnosis you have So most people who have DID. They'll have you know one of their alters will have bipolar or they'll be depressed or they'll be They'll have like a heart condition, you know, so they'll take medications for those specific things those other mental disorders But there's nothing that you can take for DID Specifically, to stop it. I know you don't want to and I'm not asking you to. Mm-hmm. But why? Why would you feel why do you feel uncomfortable? Trying to bring Minnie or Devon out on camera So I don't feel comfortable with that because it's it's not my choice. It's their You know their own person as well, and if they wanted to come out they absolutely could Minnie used to come out a lot and She's come out with the majority of my videos and stuff that I had in the past She's met the majority of my friends that know that I have DID But she's also She has her own feelings, too. You know, as a three year old and you have people who, you know, who were my friends who loved her, and then You know, disappeared and then they're not there anymore. So she she has her own level of like 'Don't leave me', type of thing, if that makes any sense as a three-year-old would. Yeah. So, and none of your alters age. Mm-hmm. So Encina gets older, which is not always the same with everybody. Some people do have alters that age, mine don't. If you could have all your alters lined up, mm-hmm all 11 of your personalities, Would there be some of them that you would love to sit down and talk to as Encina? And what would you say to them? Oh, absolutely because me and Minnie have been so close for so long, you know, she's she's the first alter that I know of that would come out as a protector and She I Can hear her voice I can see what she's doing like they have their own World inside. Can you see what she looks like? Yeah, I can see what she looks like, everything. And what does she look like? Silver hair and she has like a little beauty mark. She's really tiny. She's really cute, like it's... Hi hi You're Minnie? Yeah mmm I'm Minnie. I'm I'm three You're three? Mm-hmm. What do you think about all these cameras? A lot of cameras. Mm-hmm. And do you like Encina? Mmm, yeah, she she's she like my mommy she What are those? Those are -unintelligible- What's your favorite animal? I like my kitty cat mHm, what's your cat's name? Uh squish. Oh squish? Mm-hmm, and we has another one. Um, he name is (grr?). Hmm He he's he's a very very good one. He scared all the time though. Now why? Why did you decide to come out and say hi to everybody? Hmm? But because my mommy did their videos like this a long time ago, I would do those ones, too And we have we had lots of fun. We had my my mommy's other friends would be there, and they will help out Jude with the videos Yeah, and it was it was oh, it's a lot of fun cause I got to color and then got to do lots of games Okay, I like it. Okay, good. So, what's your favorite game? umm I don't know, I like a lots of them I used to go to the park all the time and and we would go and and go on the slide and go around Like that and and we would play a lot okay, and You like Devin right? Devin's great. Yeah. Yeah and Are there any other friends that you like? My mommy had lots of good friends that I like to II like Alex, it's that and he's really good to me. Mm-hmm, Alex is? Mm-hmm. Okay, yeah and Did you go to Disneyland recently? yeah, yeah, and we go on the rides and they're lots of fun and Devin likes to come out too, to play on them. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, and they're lots of fun. Yeah and How long have you known Encina? Mm, all the time. Hmm. She she's not go no where um, She always there. Mm-hmm and do you, do you I know this is a big word, okay, but do you know What dissociative identity disorder is? what my mommy say that we have? Yeah, but do you know what it is? It just Makes lots of people be your friend. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And so you're you like it then uh-huh Yeah, and you like encina? uh-huh and you feel safe with her? Uh-huh, and Encina likes you too - Mm-hmm And what's your favorite food again? I like ice cream and now when you leave here Where do you go? mmm I have like my own house in Inside, too - you have your own house? I live with Devin. With Devin? Mm-hm. And what does your house look like? It's a big one mmm, I have my own bedroom and we mmm We play in there lots. Mm-hmm. That's where I go, if we ever have to do other things if if Mommy has to be out Okay, so when mommy comes out, then, You go to the house and play and stuff with Devin? Okay, cool. And so when was the last time you came out here? Mm-hmm. I'm not come out like very many that much more. Um, but We we can see We can see what happened. So you can see what's going on, you just don't- - you don't have to you don't always come out though. Yeah. Yeah and Are there things, do you wish you came out more? Are you happy to stay in your house? I like to come out more I got to to come out and play and color And what? I mean, I like to color. Oh, and color. Mm-hmm, okay Good. I'm glad you came out. Yeah, and I'm glad you're not nervous with all the lights and cameras There's lots of people. Yeah, and all the people. Yeah, but you're good on TV. I'm Okay And so, now, what are you and Devin doing tonight? Mmm, we'll probably color Color. Mm-hmm. Okay, that's good. Yeah, we can make lots of pictures. All right. I love it So what else can you tell me? Hmm? Well, yeah, what do you, do you has an animal? Yeah, I have a dog. He's a puppy. Yeah, you saw her earlier So you like animals? Mm-hm and you can you have two cats. Uh-huh. Yeah, do you think the dog would like the cats? Mm-hmm. Yeah Kitties might be scare. Of the dog? Mm-hmm. Yeah, but they'll be okay. Yeah. Yeah and What,are you okay with water, or do you want something else to drink? I don't want nothing You don't want what? I don't want nothing. I- You don't want anything? I'm not fussy. Okay? Oh, you're not. You're easy, you're an easy three-year-old A lot of three-year-olds are not they're much more difficult than you. Nope yeah, I try to be some some friends, but It's very a hard they don't look like me. hmm, what do they look like? They is littler and because I'm in mommy it's It it's get scary sometimes mmm, why gets scary? They is little and they don't they don't They not be my friend. like other three-year-olds? Mm-hmm. They don't want,, other three-year-olds don't want to be your friend mm. Hmm. Hmm But you have Devin though. Yeah and Mommy. Mm-hmm. So they're your friends. Uh-huh. Yeah and two cats What's so funny I just like kitties oh All right, so then Minnie, when you're ready to go home, how do you go home? I guess My mommy come out. Oh, okay. You want to go get her? Oh Okay How are you feeling? good, a little nervous why are you nervous? very nervous Um Just it's it's a Big It's a big thing to Let Minnie out in front of like people that I don't know. Mm-hmm It's nice when I'm able to cuz I know that like Minnie really appreciates it because she can be herself But it's really nerve-racking for me Was that person were you co-conscious that whole time? Yeah. Yeah, I could see what was happening. So what was happening on your end? Just letting her do her thing. Just letting her be her so you're just in the back and walk yeah It's kind of like I saw this one picture online once where it was like somebody had drawn a face and So you see like the side of the head. It's like a view from the side and What you can like the eyes have like a projection as if you were looking like at a movie theater and somebody was sitting like Watching what was happening through the eyes So that's kind of what I'm doing. I'm almost like watching like as if I'm in a movie theater. Mmm When Minnie says that you're like her mother. Mm-hmm. How does that make you feel? It was fine at first actually it was a way for me to kind of relate to her and that's kind of what we've Gone with you know, she calls me Mommy and that's fine. Um, I mean, I feel like She's my little girl in a way. Like I have to protect this little being that's inside, you know, so in a way it's fine what do you say to the people who watch this and say oh, she's just acting I Feel like believe what you want, that's fine like it's again, it's not gonna hurt me. I know what I experience every day. I just I Would tell people just keep an open mind. Mm-hmm that you know other people who have DID It's it's possible so You know, it's it's a reason why a lot of people don't even come out about it you know, I've been a part of different kinds of groups on like Facebook and stuff where you know a wife has DID and she's like, I've never told my husband because I just can't trust that he would actually like Be there for me, you know. Mm-hmm. So Just be supportive of the people that you love and if they come to you about anything Keep an open mind was what just happened to rush In like an adrenaline way not necessarily more of like a little bit of anxiety like oh this is happening, okay Anxiety. Yeah, for Encina. Mm-hmm. Not for Minnie. Yeah just excitement for Minnie. Mm-hmm. Yeah, what did many think of me? No, she was fine with you. She's Fine with most people when she comes out. She just wants people to like her. Mm-hmm What did she think of all she liked it? She was fine Why do you think she changed her mind? I think it was because we've done videos in the past and it's something that she got excited to do because you know We would come up with like scripts for it and stuff and She got to play it wasn't her her way of playing and getting to be you know, with the adults and stuff so, I mean I've taken her to like the park and she's tried playing with like little kids and Little kids are more understanding about it. You know, they're like, oh how old are you because she's Walking and talking like a kid. Mm-hmm. And she says three years old and they're like, oh you're a big three-year-old They believe it, you know, but obviously the parents are gonna be like get this nutjob away from my kids, you know So it's it's a little rough. It's it's sad because she wants friends. What is good when you have friends um She I mean she got to play with these kids You know, she had her toys and she brought her toys to the park, too and then the parents said I mean the parents kind of like looked a little bit and I was with one of my friends who kind of talked to I'm sorry who talked to the parent and She seemed actually kind of understanding like she wasn't like oh this is weird like I gotta get my kids away or anything but She's a three-year-old that can't have her own friends. Other than like the adults that are around already It's so interesting to hear you talk about her like she is another person who's sitting here I understand you're saying that they are people. Mm-hmm But to me, I'm like no, this is just Encina when she's acting like a three-year-old. That's how it comes off. Yeah where We know that this is actually a separate Human being. Mm-hmm Wow, that just blew my mind I've never seen anything before like that okay, I mean it's It's hard to grasp it's hard to grasp just sitting here watching it. Yeah, I wasn't prepared. I didn't prepare too interview a three-year-old Yeah, I was just sitting here going Well, of course I would love to meet any alters that could come But then I was I kind of just didn't know what to talk to her about. It was a She's three years old. Yeah But it's also a grown woman Infront of me mhm. Oh, yeah. I I mean I get it I've I've met people with DID where it's hard for me to grasp because they have their own worlds and their own minds and their own personalities and some of them are Like wolves or Like different like creatures and stuff that are mythological and stuff and for me, I'm like, oh, okay How do I act in front of this other being or creature like yeah this wolf. Yeah Well, I'm just sitting across from an adult. Yeah, yeah Well, well, thank you for being so vulnerable of course and bringing Minnie out. I'm sure she's gonna be the star of YouTube She'll appreciate that Thank you for doing now of course the course What? Do you wish everyone knew about people with DID? I wish think like understood the there They're not just an alter. It's not just an alter ego. It's not something that we made up. You know, these are other actual people hmm with their own lives mmm, their own likes dislikes their their own taste in music their own like Personalities in general they they all look different. They just share one body hmm so it's I wish I could explain to everybody how these people aren't dangerous people with DID are Usually the people to have stuff happen to them. They're not the ones that are gonna turn into like psycho killers. Mm-hmm That's a good point There's something traumatic has happened when they were young. Mm-hmm and Now they have DID as the consequence of that. Mm-hmm, but now are being Victimized in a certain way because of a stigma attached. Yeah, and they were the ones who originally attacked. Mm-hmm Have you met anyone else with DID? I have I have and It's been it was comforting it was really really comforting knowing that there's others out there that are comfortable enough to Like come out of their shell and say I have this - mm-hmm and not like keep it locked away just the the more that people can hear about it and know that it's real, you know that there is hope you know, it's it's It can only get better from here. Mm-hmm, you know there there can only be More resources from here. Mm-hmm. So the more that that kind of stuff can happen and Come upon people. I think that's gonna be the best thing that happens. I think you're very brave for doing this But I think you're going to help so many people who not only might be struggling with the idea themselves but maybe know somebody who is and I think all of us doing our part to be educated on the things that we know very little about Is the first step on that? 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