Hey guys, welcome back to the next episode of What Would the Auntie Say with your girl Aren't you? This episode is a little bit different. I'm sharing my story on being stalked, harassed, being lovebombed by a narcissist, and also scammed. This story is really heavy for me, and it's taken me a long time to get to this point where I can share it. But I'm doing it because I have finally found my voice again, which is the whole reason why you're getting season 3 of this podcast in the first place. I have been through something so traumatic and come out on the other side. And hopefully my story can not only give you context as to where I've been, why I went missing, and what's been going on over the last few years, but also if it can help one person to feel seen. I know that there are a lot of people that are going through something similar. So, if this can help in any way, shape, or form, even to inspire you to stick up for yourself, to choose yourself, and find yourself again, then I feel like I've done my job. So, without further ado, let's get into it because it is a bit of a long story. And just so you know, I've pulled up the receipts and some visuals for this. So, if you're watching on YouTube, you'll see that. But, let's get into this. Firstly, I just want to say I've been putting off doing this because it's taken me a long time to write down in my notes everything that's happened. I've had to bullet point everything because it's been so traumatic. there's a lot to remember and there are lots of moments or areas where um I kind of black out and don't remember certain things. So I've had family or friends remind me. Hopefully I can share enough here. So let's start with the timeline of this. So my book came out. It was 2021. My book, What Would the Auntie Say? had just been released in August. And around the end of I had moved into my own home that I had bought all by myself on my own. So it was a really exciting time. I was on a complete high. I mean I had a book launch. I had billboards. I even had a Mac Dvali collaboration coming out. I had my podcast that I was doing. I had presented a BBC 3 documentary. I mean there were just so many amazing incredible things happening around that time that when people would see me would they would say congratulations and then they would stutter and be like um for everything cuz they couldn't pinpoint just one thing. So everything was just beautiful at that time. I was on an absolute high sitting on a cloud and I couldn't believe my life. I really really couldn't. So it's the end of September. I'm in my home. A couple of weeks away is my brother's wedding and my brother is a year younger than me. So, I'm lowkey feeling some pressure. I had also just turned 30 years old. So, very natural again when you are entering your 30s to kind of feel like, oh, it's time now your younger brother's getting married. Um, it would be nice to meet someone. You know, you've got all these incredible things happening and it almost feels like the missing piece. I also have always always been someone that feels like marriage is like a secondary thing to all the other incredible achievements you can have in life. I think as a woman what I wanted to do is own my own property before I married someone. And I felt like I've done that. I've ticked something so huge off my list. Like this is one of the biggest achievements and I've done it. And yeah, I just felt like okay, I'm I'm ready for this next stage in life. So, I'm on a dating app and I see this guy. He pops up. Afterwards, I realized he'd also been in my DMs, but I hadn't replied to it. I just hadn't paid any attention to the DM. So, we get chatting off of this app. He asked for my number. Then he calls me um like fairly soon I would say, and yeah, I felt like things happened very naturally, but it was quick, but it didn't feel weird or uncomfortable. And that is the honest truth. He then organized a date and everything felt really really natural. It felt like we had lots of things in common. He just came across like a nice guy. Anyway, he takes me on this date. But first mistake I want to say on my part. I did allow him to pick me up on a first date. So that was bad on my part. But when I got into his car, he was really like I don't know welcoming. It didn't feel again because we'd also spoken on the phone. We'd been messaging. It felt quite natural. And also I'm not really an awkward person. So even if something was awkward, I would just be like la chatty chatty. I get in the car. He has booked numerous restaurants. So he hasn't just booked one place. He's booked about seven or eight places and he's told me to pick somewhere out of a hat. Now that makes a girl feel really special. Anyway, I picked somewhere wasn't really like the best one. And so I was like, "Okay, I'll pick again." And you know, it's it's kind of funny. And then I think I picked like the nicest one. And on this first date, he was speaking about his family a lot. Family means a lot to me. Anyone that probably follows me on Instagram, on TikTok, all of that. I mean, you can see that my family is really close to me. I feel like, yeah, if you look at my Instagram and you don't know me, you've almost got a cheat code into my life. So, he's like talking about his family, how he's really close with them. He's talking about starting a business and how um he's really inspired by me that I have my own business doing social media. Yeah, he's really complimentary of that. He also a bit was like I can't believe I'm on a date with you. That does give me the ick a little bit, but it came across very endearing. It was the way he was doing it. It was like a you know, it it wasn't like icky like fanboy because then that is ick. Um, not that anyone needs to fan girl or fanboy over me, by the way, but that is just how he was. And so, he came across quite charming. Charming is the best way that I can describe it. We had a really good date. He was telling me all the things I want to hear. He also came across humble. He also came across like he had family values. He also came across like he um, you know, was really motivated and inspired and hardworking. He had all these goals and dreams. all the kind of stuff that I like. I like someone ambitious. After that, we were talking every day. We nearly saw each other like nearly every day. It was very intense, very very quick. We're going to do a whole another episode on everything I have learned from from all of this because too much too soon. Yeah. Anyway, we're not going to talk about all the lessons I've learned now, but just please know I know where I could have done things differently. To add to this first date, he also bought me a gift. He bought me a cheeseboard. And again, I thought that was quite sweet, but I personally don't like a gift on a first date. And now that I know everything about him and I've come out the other side, I understand that was part of his plan. He was doing the absolute most on the first date. You know, booking all of those restaurants, offering to pick me up, buying me a gift, telling me all the things I want to hear. Then, like I said, it was my brother's wedding and I low-key had this pressure. And I also felt like if I feel like this and I'm aware of this, then I know everyone else is kind of like, "Oh, aren't you, you're next, aren't you, you're next?" And it still happens now where everyone's like, "Oh, aren't you, we're waiting for you to get married." And I know everyone is saying it from, you know, a good place and they're just trying to give me good wishes, but it's lowkey pressure. And I knew that was coming with my brother's wedding. So yeah, I was really excited. I felt like, oh my god, okay, I've met someone. And because everything was moving so fast, I started to really catch feelings. And it was just all all a lot very very quickly. So, right after my brother's wedding, I was going on a trip with my best friend to Marba. And this is when he first asked me for money. And I can't really remember where it was or anything, but I do have a memory of him getting my name mixed up with his ex's name. And then it came out a lot later that it's because he was still talking to his ex and all of that. He'd been in a longterm relationship uh just before. So yeah, that's I mean that's fine. But he got our names confused and then starts frantically crying and he makes this like huge deal like everything was so dramatic and so over the top and it's because he's stressed about money and this thing and la. So the him confusing my name with the ex that kind of like just went over our heads because the conversation turned into him being so stressed about the whole money thing. So, he's asked me. I've said no. I've just bought my house. So, yeah. I mean, anyone that's bought a house knows that it's a lot of money. And whatever money I did have left, luckily, thank God that I did have some money left. I was saving that for my renovation. I had a plan. And I explained this to him and that was that. I then went to my bayera and while I was there I asked my best friend. I told her about this situation and she was like no arel I don't think you should give him any money I think you should just explain to him and then strangely while I was there in Marba he actually sends me a message saying don't worry about it you know sorry I asked and he kind of then put me at ease and I felt so relieved. I was like oh look I didn't even have to have this awkward conversation. He's kind of just understood on his own and now the pressure can come off of the relationship and come off of me. When I got back from Marba, he asked me for money again and this time it felt like the pressure was on a lot more and was actually in tears. He was crying. He was kind of using a lot of like guilt to be like, you know, this is for us if I can win these contracts. Basically what the business was is a consultancy business. So he needs to win big contracts and in order to do that he had to show that he had a certain amount of money in his account and he was named dropping all of these big companies. Now, doing consultancy was actually his real job before, so he knew what he was talking about. But this time, this is his own consultancy business and he's trying to win these contracts. And yeah, that's what he was telling me. And I asked for, you know, proof for everything. I asked for contracts if I am to send him money. He was able to send me like full-on documents about his business, you know, PDFs. He was able to send contracts just like everything. There was a website like all sorts. So I then passed that on to my accountant and I just asked him to have a look and he said it looks all legit. It's just up to you whether you know how much you know this person and whether you want to. And sadly didn't tell my family what I was doing but I have my own reasoning for wanting to help. My reasoning is that maybe if this is meant to be my partner and I don't help them, then what type of person does that make me? Also, when you finally think you have met the right person, you're almost willing to do what it takes to keep them or to be with them or you're afraid to lose them. And with the pressure that I was kind of putting on myself with where I was at in my life, that's kind of what was in my head. That was one of the reasons why I just thought, "Oh my god, like, you know, I finally met someone. So, I'm an empathetic person, so I kind of want to help." And it makes me really sad to see that person sad. And secondly, I had a fear of losing this person. And I just thought for those reasons, my family or my siblings might not understand, you know, they won't understand what it feels like to be single in your 30s. I don't know, they're not me. And for those reasons, I sent him quite a bit of money with contracts in place. And the contract stated that I would get my money back within a week. But about a week later, same story, same guilt, same stress. he needed more and then a couple of days later a little bit more and I helped again. So in total it was three times. I just had some faith that well he's not going anywhere. He didn't come across like he was going anywhere but there were things that I started to notice like for example he would get a lot of phone calls and he wouldn't take these phone calls in front of me. if the phone would ring in the car, he would miss them and be like, "Oh yeah, I'll just call them back later." Or he would go outside if we were somewhere and I could see him and he looked like he was having an aggressive conversation all the time. Like, you know, he just looked so stressed and yeah, aggressive. He also had this like up and down thing with his sister and brother-in-law. Like one minute, oh, everything's great with my sister. The next minute he's having major family issues and his sister and brother-in-law are against him. This is not what I thought I got myself into. I thought I got myself into someone that is, you know, really close with their family and now this is all sounding really, really complicated and there's money involved and yeah, it just it just didn't start to feel right. And I just started to notice so much more. Like I'm starting to see the red flags, but at the same time, he's equally still being so charming. He's still being so available. That's the other thing. Ready to take me anywhere, drive me here, drive me there, take me out, all of these things to what impress me, I guess. Honestly, I hadn't had anyone treat me like that before. I hadn't had anyone be so attentive in that way. So available. I want to say available because that is exactly how it felt. So we are now at the 8 week mark. 8 weeks of me meeting him to this day that I'm about to tell you. It was a Friday. I was out with him in the afternoon. And at that time my sister was suffering with postnatal depression. So I told my sister, you know, anytime you want to speak to anyone, just reach out to me with some emojis because I know that maybe using too many words might be difficult for her. So I just said, send me any emoji you like and I'll know that you're feeling a type of way and I'll reach out to you. That way, you know, it takes the pressure off. It's a Friday afternoon. She sends me some emojis. And so instantly I'm like, "Are you okay? What's up?" Um, my sister's like, "I'm not feeling great today." And I was like, "Okay, well, I'll come over right now." She's like, "Yeah, I'd really like that if you could, actually." So, I told him, "I'm going to go to my sister's obviously on my own." And when I got to my sister's house, I noticed my other sister. So, I've got two sisters. I noticed the other sister's husband's car outside. And I'm thinking, why would his car be here? So, yeah, that was odd. I get to the door. I'm going in and my sister's got this like awkward smile like, "Are you okay?" And I'm like, "Are you okay?" Like, you know, "How are you?" And she's like, "Yeah, I'm fine." And I'm I'm noticing this like awkward smirk on her face. As I go in and I turn into the living room, I see my other brother-in-law. So, not her husband. Her husband was home, but my other brother-in-law was there on a Friday afternoon. So, I'm like, "What's going on, guys? What What's happening?" And they were like, "Just sit down." And I was like, "You need to tell me what's happening right now. Like, what's going on?" They basically had set up an intervention, I guess. So, my brother-in-law says, "Have you given this guy any money?" And I didn't say anything, but I nodded my head to say yes. And I could see that their faces and they just took a deep sigh and they were like, "He's a fraud." And I was like, "Sorry, what? What are you talking about?" And they were like, "He scammed loads of people. Like there's a whole WhatsApp group about him and he owes at least like 30 people some money. And how this had came to light is someone else that he had frauded and he had taken a lot a lot of money off of this guy. Um, he happened to know my brother-in-law. Now, I'm gonna refer to the scammer, the fraud as psycho because that is what I have called him for the last few years, especially when I haven't been able to say his name. Um, I refer to him as psycho because you'll understand why. You will understand why. As I was saying, Psycho had been boasting to a lot of people that he's seeing this influencer girl. And I didn't know that he was doing this. And quite frankly, I didn't need him to do that. I didn't ask him to do that. And I had left one little emoji on one of his pictures on Instagram at the time. And the guy that he'd scammed a lot of money from saw my comment and put two and two together and thought, "Oh, this must be the girl that he keeps boasting about." And he knows my brother-in-law. So he contacted him and said, "You need to get your sister away from this guy because he's a fraud." So this guy was then able to give my brother-in-law and my sister all this information. I think that they went and met him and got all of the evidence. I'm pretty sure, but I can't remember. But that's what happened. They had all the receipts. They had a bingo card in this WhatsApp group of all the excuses that he keeps giving as to why he can't give the money. Now, when I saw this bingo card, I was like, "Yeah, these are all the excuses that he's giving to me." But yet, I've been spending time with him. So, when he gives me these excuses, he also takes me to the bank. So, I'm going with him on these bank trips, and I can see he's having difficulties with the bank. Yes, I'm not stood there right next to him because I'm not involved in those conversations. I'm sort of like at the other end of the bank. But as I'm looking over, I can see that the person at the bank is saying, "Yeah, you can't get in and you need to contact this person. You need to contact that." So, from what I can see, he is having bank issues. But yeah, so this intervention had been set up. I found out that this guy's basically stolen all of my money. And this was all of my money to renovate my house. And I was completely completely in shock and broken. I completely in that moment had lost myself. I didn't know who I was. I was in shock finding out that someone could do that to me. My sister and my brother-in-law were really concerned that I would be super heartbroken. They were saying like, "Are you really upset about that?" And I'm like, "No, I'm not heartbroken." It's almost like reality had slapped me in the face and reminded me that it had only been 8 weeks. It's not that deep in terms of feelings. I was heartbroken for my loss of myself. I was heartbroken for my loss of everything that I had worked for that weekend. I remember on the Saturday, all my siblings came to my house and just sat with me. They just sat. It was literally like someone died and you know my poor nieces were running around um and they were having to be mindful their aunt Masi is not in a great place and you know I'm crying my eyes out. Not only did we grieve my loss but we sat and plotted and planned. We were like I need to get my money back. Like I don't give a what happens but I need to get my money back. It's the only way I can come out of this in any way, shape, or form with any sort of sanity. So, what we had to do, and I say we because I felt like I wasn't alone in this anymore, and I felt like I was in this with my siblings who were my support network, who were losing sleep with me. Um, yeah, cuz I was not okay. So, they were not okay and they were so worried about me, but we had to play the long game. That was the plan. The plan was to play the long game and I basically had to continue speaking to him in order to get my money back because I couldn't just be reactive and just be like where the hell's my money d and go off and then what he can just block me or disappear. That wasn't going to work. So I had to continue to speak to him. And this may come across as, I don't know, a game plan or some sort of mind games, but I don't know what would you do. What would you do if someone had stolen all of your money? I had to continue talking to him. I did have to see him again. And we had this cinema date planned. And at this point, I know everything. I know that he's a fraud. I know that he's scammed so many people. And we'd gone to watch this movie with Will Smith. you know, the tennis one that was out at that time. I can't remember what it's called now, but anyway, in the film, I remember Will Smith mentions or speaks of getting a million dollars or wanting to get a million dollar deal or, you know, there's a million dollars basically mentioned in the movie and Psycho is sat there next to me and starts crying his eyes out. When I say this isn't just like little sniffle, this is real real tears for like just coming down his face when he hears the money. Now, the reason why he felt so triggered by $1 million is because the total at that time that he owed everyone from the WhatsApp group was $1.2 million. That's how much he had scammed at that point. So, no wonder $1 million. Hearing those numbers felt triggering to him because maybe he was feeling the pressure. I don't know. Anyway, around this time, my parents were going to be moving house and they also wanted some money from us just temporarily. And so, the timing of this was kind of perfect because I was able to say to Psycho, I need to give this money to my dad. So, you need to give me my money back ASAP because I need to give it to my dad. And my dad doesn't know that I've given you money. Now, also, if you plan on being in my life and you want to meet my dad, my dad can't know that you've got my money. So, I'm putting this pressure on him that I need my money back, not for myself, but because I need to give it to my dad, which in a way was not completely a lie, but it also wasn't me telling the truth. So, I'm now like putting this pressure on him. He's saying, "Oh, I've gone to the bank. I've tried this. I've tried that." You know, all the bingo card excuses again. And now I actually have the bingo card. So, I can see what excuses he's pulling up on what day. We then had another outing planned. And this time it was going to be that, oh, you know, my siblings are going to join. So he's attempted apparently attempted to go to the bank in the day and then in the evening he would come to mine and my siblings were going to come and he knew that only a few of them were coming. He didn't know which ones. So he's come over. He's told me all his excuses as to why he couldn't give me the money that day again. And then my siblings turn up, but it wasn't all of my siblings. It was just my brothers. It was my brother and my two brother-in-laws. They basically had a very very strong stern word with him. Nobody touched him. Nobody physically harmed him. It was not anything aggressive of the sort at all. But they had a very very strong stern word with him. And even during that, the maddest thing is that he was trying to pitch his business to one of my brother-in-laws. This is how delusional he had to have been. And honestly, the absolute cheek that while my brothers are basically questioning you on everything that you've done, on your business, on why you've got my money, why you haven't given it back yet, you're there pitching your business to one of my brother-in-laws. It was just absolutely wild. So, he's pitching this, but they're questioning him, and he's like sweating. He was sweating. I'll remember this. But he's also looking at me and also having the cheek during this while they're talking to him to be like, "I can't believe you told them." And I'm like, "Why would I not tell them? They're my siblings. I can't believe that in front of my brothers, he's there giving me the eyes of like, "How dare you?" And he's like shaking his head at me, screwing his eyes at me, and saying, "I can't believe you." As if I was meant to keep this a secret forever. as if I meant to protect him. So my brothers basically were like, "You're not to speak to aren't you again. You are going to send the money and when you've sent the money, you can inform us of what you've sent and how much." So it was all meant to be like very official and through them and not with me. So he left and even though they've warned him and told him do not contact her, leave our sister alone. I am not joking. I want to say within a couple of minutes he is calling me. He's sending me vile messages being like, "I can't believe you did that to me." Like he is the victim. After that, he continued to hound me. Oh, listen to my story. They're lying. I'm not a fraud. Really, really trying to get in my head. And at this point, I was at a very, very low point. I was depressed. I just was not in a good place. He's hounding me and all I'm saying to him is, "Send me my money and then we'll talk." He then is calling people that he's already frauded to get me my money. And we know that because the people he's already frauded know my brother-in-law, which is just insane. So, he's still borrowing from Peter to PayPal. So, my dad had organized for builders to come over and they're giving me all these quotes and plans. And I remember I was so anxious and just shaking that day. And I had told my mom, but I hadn't told my dad. I haven't got the money. I don't know what I'm going to do because dad's like, you know, obviously going ahead with everything I said I want to do. And he's lining this all up for me. And he'll probably tell the builders to start, you know, next week or something. And I haven't got the money. I haven't got the money to pay anyone. So I was so so stressed. I think by mid December I got most of the money back. I kind of just left it. But yeah, I had enough because he had been sending this money in drips and drabs and every single time there was like another email and another form of contact and it was just all too much. And obviously I don't want to talk to him now. He starts harassing me. So I contacted the police because I believe he turned up. Yeah, he turned up outside my house. I told them everything about the money, the fraud, the harassment, the WhatsApp group. And to my knowledge, I don't know if many people had actually reported him. I think most people hadn't reported him because they had like a friendship with him or their family with him. They had a level of trust with him. They've known him maybe for a lot longer. So around that time, like I said, everything just felt so heavy. I was in the depths of depression and I was living by myself. So January 2022, I started on some anti-depressants. I felt almost even worse being on them. I felt like I had the shakes. I also wasn't eating properly. Everyone was trying to help and just be a support to me, but I was in the worst place of my life. He then was still trying to contact me with phone calls, messages. He was calling off no caller ID, several other numbers. Like, I couldn't avoid these phone calls. He was almost using the fact that he got the money back to me as a way of like, look, you were always going to get your money back. Everyone's lying about me. I can't believe you're listening to them. Me just not thinking straight, not thinking clearly. I was thinking, well, what if this is wrong? What if I what if I've got this wrong? I carried on speaking to him for a bit. The anti-depressants were making me feel worse in all honesty. So, I came off of them like abruptly. And apparently, you're not supposed to do that. But I am someone that doesn't like to be dependent or reliant on anything, whether that's alcohol, whether that's an anti-depressant. I don't smoke. I don't vape. I don't like to be dependent on anything. I was trying to read the self-help book. I can't remember the quote now. I wish I wish I could. I don't even remember what book it is. I saw this quote and I was like, you know what? Like, this could really help you. So, I read this quote out to him. Next thing you know, this guy who has no tattoos, by the way, he had no tattoos at the time, but because I have tattoos, he thinks that I like tattoos on someone else. I'm pretty sure from my memory, he got that quote tattooed on his forearm. He also said, "Oh, I'm going to get this lion, and half of it's a male lion, the other half is a female lion, and she's got um a tear coming down because you're sad, and that's you. You're the sad lion." And then he sends a picture to me in the post, another tattoo dedicated to me, which I didn't ask for, I guess. Again, another scream and cry for attention. I had a bit of a wakeup call and thought, "What the hell? What the hell am I doing? This guy is lying to me." I almost kind of snapped out of this like, "Oh no, he's telling me all these stories. I don't know what to believe." And thought, "No, I need to think about myself here. I need to think about my safety. I need to think about me. I cannot listen to him or entertain his any further." I told him, "My safety is at risk here. I am never speaking to you ever again. Ever, ever, ever, ever." Blocked him again. And then this is when the harassment and the stalking really, really got intense. At this point, I'm now renovating my house. I've moved to my parents because I couldn't stay at mine. The stalking and the harassment really escalated. And this went on for a good few months. I would say my phone would not stop ringing to the point that my phone like vibrating on silent would trigger me. I would just get so much anxiety every time my phone buzzed. And my job is on my phone. He not only was calling me off no caller ID all day, every day. He was creating fake Instagram accounts. He was creating lots of email accounts. It would be like email accounts with my name like lovelet letter@gmail.com and then send me a lovelet letter on the email would send me uh like docu links. He would send video entries via a email where he's talking to the camera while he's driving being like, "I can't believe you've done this to me." but via email or via some random links with an attachment to a love letter with suicidal notes. Threats to kill himself, threats to kill himself on my Ring doorbell, threats to contact my family, which he did. He contacted my mom via Instagram. He found my dad's number somehow contacted my dad. With all of the harassment and all of the threats, some of the emails had like lists of things that he was going to do in order. and if you don't go to the police and retract your statement, this is what's going to happen. If you don't do this, that's going to happen. Um, just threats upon threats upon threats. And then equally at the same time, he would send bunches of red roses to be like, "Whatever has happened, I still care about you." Honestly, it was just from every single angle. And then there were physical letters like the one I have right here in my hand. So, this was a physical typed out love letter, shall we say? Even me just like looking at this letter right now is insane because it's just him playing the victim. And even with this letter, he has sent another page which is a printed quote right here all about chasing someone and not being good enough. Not only was he stalking and harassing me online in various different means, but he was also doing this physically in person. He was turning up to my house. I would be there to go check on the builders and he would turn up and I'd have to hide upstairs. And this is how I was able to catch footage of his car to show the police that he's turning up. I just felt like I couldn't escape him. I was calling the police. They would arrest him and they would put him on bail. He would break his bail and continue to contact me. And this was like a repeated cycle. I was at my complete wits end. I would be calling the police sometimes at 3 4:00 a.m. because my phone won't stop ringing at 3:4 a.m. And I'm like, "Please, can someone just come and get this guy because I can't cope with this level of harassment." I wasn't getting any sleep. It took the police a while. It did take the police a good few times of this repeated cycle and they did mess up a little bit. So on the time before he was properly arrested, they arrested him and they were meant to keep him. Someone made a mistake and then they released him again on bail. I I can't lie, I lost my mind. So they realized they'd made a mistake and I remember the officer that I was now speaking to directly so I didn't have to speak to a new officer every single time. this officer realized that they'd messed up and was like, "Look, we're going to put a marker out on his car so we'll be able to find him a lot easier." So, that's what they did. They put markers out on the roads. I don't know how this works, but it can pick up a number plate, I guess, and then they can track you. So, that's what they did, and they found him, and then they arrested him. And on this occasion, it was finally going to be taken further. And because he had broken his bail so many times, it was now going to be the crown court that would be charging him instead of the police. That time I had booked a flight to go to Tulum with my best friend and I found out that morning just before I was about to get on my flight that they'd found him and they'd arrested him and they were going to keep hold of him. Again, perfect timing cuz I felt like I wasn't going to be harassed on my holiday and I could actually just enjoy myself and get some rest and just let go a little bit because I had had the heaviest few months. So then in July 2022, now we're in the summer, he was now being charged by the court and they obviously asked me to go along as the victim. I went with the knowledge that he would be pleading guilty to everything. But when I got there that morning, they told me he's pleading guilty to only the proof that we have physically of him stalking and harassing me. So, his car turning up or, you know, him showing up in certain places. But all of the online harassment, the fake accounts, the email accounts, fake Instagram accounts, all of that kind of stuff, he's pleading not guilty because he believes, yeah, he can get away with it. for anyone that is online and everyone's online these days. The fact that so many people can get away with harassing people online because there's no way of proving it is really scary. The court gave me an option. Okay, we can call it a day here and we can charge him for the things that he said he's guilty of and we can leave it there or you can speak in court and you can if you want try and prove that he's guilty for everything he's saying he's not guilty for. And I said no, I am going to speak in court. I know I can prove it because it all makes so much sense to me. I know what I've been going through, so I can speak in court. I also asked for screens inside the court because I didn't want to see him and I didn't want him to see me ever again. So, I did all of the questioning in court. I went through everything, sharing my story, just answering all the questions and then it was his lawyer's turn to ask me questions. And I remember he kept knocking on the glass from the box that he was in to disrupt the questions and to get his lawyer to go inside the box. And through the little microphone, you can hear he's trying to manipulate her to ask me questions in a certain way. So, he's trying to tell his lawyer how to do her job or, you know, say it like this, say that. And he did that about three times. Maybe he was trying to throw me off, but also he was definitely trying to manipulate how his lawyer asked the questions. I basically found out shortly after that that he was guilty on all charges and I felt really really proud of myself that I was able to prove that he was guilty for everything he did online and for everything he said he wasn't guilty for. So, I felt really proud that I was able to do that. And right here I have another letter to say at the hearing on 19th of July 2022, Psycho was found guilty. He was sentenced to a community order for 18 months. So he had to do 120 hours of compulsory unpaid work for the community. Complete 15 days of rehabilitation activity requirement. Also a restraining order made not to contact me directly or indirectly. not to attend my address, not to attend my parents' address, not to attend my parents' work, and he had to obviously pay the Crown Prosecution Service charge and the court charges. I also have here my notice of restraining order, which started in August 2022, so a month after the hearing, and it lasted until February 2024. In that time that I had the restraining order, I felt somewhat free, but what was the point? Because I was already broken. I did get into another relationship. And I have to say that also was not the best time. But what I have learned is the type of person you choose to be with is a reflection of how you feel about yourself. And at that time, the way I felt about myself was so low. so lost. So yeah, I don't I don't know, just not myself. I was with someone that I guess didn't value me. But going back to this, this restraining order ended February 2024. And by February 2024, I was very single. I had been on a long healing journey. I'd been doing therapy. I've been doing all sorts. So I thought, okay, in a bit I'll be ready to date. It was last summer 2024. I'm speaking to someone. We weren't at, you know, girlfriend boyfriend phase. And also, I had learned so much at this point that I felt like anything I do from this point going forward, everything needs to be slow. But this psycho, and I know it was this psycho because there's only one person that would do this, popped up again and basically made this fake account and sent me messages about this guy that I'm talking to. all of this stuff trying to put me off, but then also sent that guy all these messages about me and they were like screenshots of pictures of me from like my old nose on YouTube being like, "Can you believe this is her? Why would you want to be with this girl?" Blah, blah, blah. Trying to put this guy off me. It's It's my old no. Everyone knows. I tell everyone I've had a nose job. I'm not ashamed of it at all. The videos are still up on YouTube. I could just tell from the style of the writing, the way he wrote these messages. I could just tell that it was him. It was the same motive that he just won't let me move on with my life. So again, I obviously instantly reported it to the police. But by this point, I was aware from the police that everybody else in this WhatsApp group has now come forward and reported all the fraud. So now I know there's this whole fraud case being built against him. The police were keeping me updated with his court hearings for fraud. They were letting me know what dates he was having, what hearings, and what he was pleading to what. So, I was very much in the loop of what was going on, but I wasn't heavily involved in the fraud case. Although they had my story, they had my statement, but I didn't want to be heavily involved because I didn't want him to see my name on there. I'd been living in fear for however many years already. I didn't want to go to court again. The fact that I'd been once was enough for me. And then in January, he was having his sentencing because he was finally being charged for fraud. And he was sent to prison this January. And for the first time since 2021, I actually felt a level of freedom. I actually felt like I can properly heal and I can actually make progress. I have felt trauma in so many different ways over the last few years. My body's been holding on to trauma. It's just really affected how I work. It's affected my job. It's affected my moods. It's affected me trusting someone again. It affects me trusting myself and my choices, which I've really, really had to work on. On the day of sentencing, the police kindly sent me the judge's notes, and I was in for a complete shock. I found out things that I had no clue about. He was gambling millions of pounds. The judge's notes here says, "You're gambling astronomical. In two years, 53 separate gambling companies, over 4 million. Total money lost by you, 3.2 million pounds. One website alone, an average of 247 bets a day, 3,680 bets on average a month. It says here, acknowledged this is recycled in the region of 78 million pounds. Quite frankly, astonishing. That's what the judge said. Least bets on one day, only four bets totaling 1,500. Most bets in one day, 1,333. His biggest loss, 125k in a day. When the gambling company called him about the level of his betting, he lied. In August 2021, they stopped you from betting for a period of time because of the volume of bets. You became upset and you pronounced to them fake bank accounts showing the balance on your account was around $250,000 when in reality there was no money in the account. I have to be honest, I had no clue about the gambling. I never saw anything to do with gambling. I had no clue that he had a gambling addiction. But now when this has come to light, I can understand because he is literally spending his days and nights playing so many different roles, speaking to so many different people. Honestly, the amount of email accounts that he had, amount of bank accounts, amount of stories he had, I'm not surprised. It didn't surprise me, but I was shocked. I was shocked. And I was shocked that I didn't see it at all. The last bit I'm going to read from the judge's notes here. It says, "Autumn of 2019 to end of 2021. Lied to friends, family, associates. You said you had a viable business. If people invested, they would receive their money back and a return on investment. Tendering for and working with, I'm not going to say the brand name, etc. In reality, people who had no connection with you. You told the people you needed to show a healthy bank balance. Money would not move. In reality, the money was never safe. There were no business opportunities. It has been labeled as a Ponzi scheme. But in my view, it was not even that. It was nothing more than lies and deceit by you so that you could get other people's money and gamble away their savings. It required an elaborate and planned deception. The fake emails, the glossy PDF. When people queried where their principal investment was, you emailed them with more material perpeturing to show them that you had won further contracts and asked them to keep their principal investment in the business. You faked bank statements to show over 400k when in fact that account had only £3. It was put forward on your instruction that you intended the business to be a legitimate company. I make it clear, I do not accept that it was ever going to be. You may have hoped that it would have been, but your only business was lies and deceit to fund your gambling. A final note from the judge's comments, misery loves company. You made a company and you made misery. So, yeah. and he got 6 and 1/2 years, which I don't know if that's enough time with the amount of pain he's caused so many people. But knowing that he was away allowed me to start therapy again and go to a trauma specialist and work on myself, which is how I've been able to sit here and share this with you because I have actually come a long way this year. I started a therapy called EMDR and I'll get into that on a whole another episode that's really helped me let go of the fear and find my voice again and be able to sit here and do something that I love doing. But the final thing I'm going to show you because this truly has been never ending honestly um is in May I went on holiday to Vegas and the day I got back I was checking my mail and I came home to a letter from prison and this one is obviously handwritten. I actually feel sick touching this. He even must have picked this yellow flower from whatever corner of the prism garden. I don't know if they have a garden. But in this letter here on May 5th, 2025, it says, "I'm sure you would have heard I was given a lengthy sentence back in Jan from the investigation that started in December 2021, which is when I reported him. Things are happening in the background which will aid my situation, but I am unable to mention it here. But I just really want to apologize for what occurred between us. It was nasty, inhumane, and very cowardlike. He goes on to tell me that he's really keeping well, and that he's gyming every day and eating good, and he's in a single shower cell, and it's nonviolent, and it's white collar, things that I don't care for, and I didn't want to know, and I didn't ask about. I felt like this letter was a true invasion of my privacy. I just felt like he was in my space again. He was just in my space. He's not physically in my space, but in my mental space and telling me things I don't care to know. I don't care to know and I don't want to know. But he's so delusional because he goes on to say, "You're more than welcome to write back to me and maybe include your number, but I understand if it's crossing boundaries. My prison number is blah blah blah." He's gone on to tell me what prison he's at. And he also says, "It would be good to have a phone call, but I understand if it doesn't bode well with your journey. I just think it's absolutely wild and maybe delusional to think that I would ever contact or call him. So that's my story. That's everything that I have been dealing with and going through. It's been a very heavy few years. And I just want to thank you guys for sticking with me on this journey, being patient with me. For everyone that could see that I wasn't in the best place and still just has been riding with me, I really really appreciate it. And for everyone that's just here now, even if it's just if you want to be nosy and just hear a crazy story, I guess because that's exactly what this is. My life has felt like a Netflix series. That's exactly how it's felt. That's how I've described it to people. That's how people close to me have described it when they've been seeing me and living through this with me. It's been wild, but I've come a long way. I'm on the other side now, and I have so much more to offer as a person with, I guess, so much more depth and life lessons, which is why I'm doing this podcast again, so I can share so many things that I've learned in order to help other people because that's what I've always wanted to do. And now I feel like I can. and from a place of experience. So, I'm going to end this episode here because I feel like it's been a very long one. I would love if you guys could rate and review this episode or this podcast cuz it really helps me out. If you're watching on YouTube, hit the subscribe button, press like, and join me for the next one. Thank you so much once again for allowing me to share my story.