>> Hi and welcome to the season finale of Therapuss. Actually, I guess it's What's it? November now? I guess it's really been almost a year since we started this season. And when I did Therapuss season 1, it took off in this way I like had absolutely no idea would happen. And the same thing kind of happened for season 2, which is kept getting bigger and more intense and more fun. And all these moments that were like dreams that I never thought would happen happened. I mean, in season 2, we had Lord. We had Selena Gomez. I mean, we have Hilary Duff tonight. It's just >> >> It's insane. It like really is so insane what this has become and it's really and truly all because of you guys. Like nobody else made this happen but you guys. And I'm just so grateful for the community we've built and like this platform you guys have given me. And um I cannot wait to do bigger and better things in season 3. I'm like sad that this is over that season 2 is over, but I'm also really really excited to redo the set. And I always want to be better. I always want to get better at interviewing people. I always want to get better at keeping the conversation light but also deep. Like there's so much for me to get better on and I'm so excited to have that opportunity in another season. It really really warms my heart that the heart of this show, which is me and my best friends, has never changed. Like you guys still love the friend episodes no matter how big the guest get. Like at the end of the day, I think what you guys' favorite moments from the show are always with my best friends. And it makes me so happy and it makes recording these episodes with them so much fun. And I can't wait to do more of those in season 3. I'm just feeling very grateful and very excited to do more in the coming months. Yeah, I don't really know what else to say. I was like I was out this weekend. I went to um the LACMA Gala and I was like looking around and I was like I've never been to something as cool as this before. And all I kept thinking about was this podcast and you guys and how the only reason I'm there is because of that. And I was just feeling very grateful. And thank you so much to our sponsors of this season. It would not have been the same without you. Thank you Bumble. Thank you SeatGeek. Thank you Booking. booking.yeah. Thank you Celsius. Thank you Cozy Earth. I love you guys. Thank you so much. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for believing in this show. I cannot wait to see what happens next season. And I'm really really excited for you guys to see the season finale tonight. It is with none other than the queen herself, Hilary Duff. Her new single Mature is out November 6th. That's this Friday. It is incredible. I can confirm I've heard it. The way I would describe it, it reminds me so much of Metamorphosis if Metamorphosis grew up 20 years, which it literally did. The chorus is incredible. I mean, when Louise heard it, she almost passed out. She said she felt like she was like transported back in time. But it's like you're transported back in time, but you're also present if that makes sense because the content is so different. It's just incredible. I'm so excited for everyone to hear it. Um and I'm so excited for you guys to see the season finale tonight. is a living icon. Um we got to talk about the 2000s, Lizzie McGuire, the Lizzie McGuire movie, A Cinderella Story, Raise Your Voice. It was such an incredible conversation. And I I'm so grateful that she was the season finale. So thank you, Hilary. Stream Mature on November 6th. And I'll see you next season. I love you, Enjoy the episode. Oh my god, I'm so excited. I'm going to freak out. You already know I had my movie marathon this weekend. >> Yeah, I I really enjoyed watching that. That was the just the best experience of my life. I was literally every morning I'd wake up and then I would put a new one on. I would put a new one on and I was in bed with my friend Cassidy all weekend. And what did you order? What like what do you like >> Like food-wise? Like what was it? >> Ooh, okay. >> I had it was really good. And then I Yeah, I had pho like I think like twice this weekend. Oh. And I was really hungover and I was uh finishing obviously the Lizzie McGuire movie. And obviously the final Well, not the final scene, but the scene came on where what This is What Dreams Are Made Of. Obviously, you perform it. And I looked at Cassidy and I was like the most unity I felt in like maybe 10 years. I was like this song is actually poetic. >> >> I was also really high, but like it was fantastic. And I really did I did want to ask you like when you were making that in the studio and >> really high? No. Now were you just like Were you like holy this song is amazing? No. Stop it. >> Very much no. What? Yeah, absolutely not. I don't even remember recording that song. But I will say now I love it. And when I was filming the movie, I loved it. It was just It was like a weird time and it wasn't technically my song. It was a Lizzie McGuire song. So I think having >> >> like my music that I was recording I forget the timeline to be honest. I mean, I was literally 14 years old. >> I think Yeah, you were young. >> if I was like, "Hey, Jay >> What did I do at 14?" I'd be like, "I have no idea." >> Yeah, there's some very big moments that stand out obviously like some of the like being in Italy for Lizzie McGuire. But then the rest of it filmed in Vancouver. I could like barely remember any of that stuff. So What filmed in Vancouver? I don't know. I I don't It was like a song for Lizzie McGuire. >> So you didn't think it like represented you. You were like, "This is Lizzie." Yeah. Got it. >> Mhm. It's a banger. And actually when I sing it now, I feel a lot of joy. I just think that there was like such a separation back then of like me and my music and Lizzie McGuire that that song like I didn't I didn't really get to perform that song live cuz I didn't own it maybe or whatever. >> cuz that was it was under Disney It was It was like Lizzie McGuire IP. So when you did your tour and you were doing Metamorphosis, you were just doing songs from that album. Mhm. Interesting. >> But if I would ever tour again >> I think maybe I would be allowed to manage to sing that song somehow some way. On the floor. You'd have to scrape >> Maybe, you know, just maybe. Like hypothetically. You would have to scrape me off the floor with like a Zamboni. Like I Oh my god, if I heard that live, I think I'm >> Wait, a Zamboni? Does that mean we're like in an arena? Yeah, I think >> Like there Like you're in an arena if there's a Zamboni. >> Yeah. Would you Would you You have done arenas. I have. You have for Metamorphosis. I like your your um casual cosmopolitan over there. Little casual cosmopolitan. How old Is that new or old? >> very old. It's from Well, not very old, but it's from like I think 2010. And um and it and uh my friend Willa gave it to me as a gift. I know. It's great. >> Off topic. No, but you're obviously recording new music now, which I had the pleasure of hearing. Louise, I mean She started crying. Wait, what? She started crying. She said she felt like she was transported back. Stop. She's It's actually phenomenal. You're so sweet. Thank you. >> Phenomenal. You're so sweet. Thank you. >> Of course, but it's your first music in 10 years, right? >> Yeah. Yeah. What made you say like, "Okay, now this is the moment that I want to do new music." You know, it's always been It was always going to happen. There's no there's there's no way that that was not going to be a part of my my story. Um but I think living with the person that I live with, who's my husband, and um just being 10 years removed from music and being 38 and just like arriving kind of like where I am in my life and I I just felt like I had a lot of like I can finally like fill in the blanks and I'm ready to like fill in those blanks and share with people and connect with them on the level of now and and um you know, I've had a 25-plus year career and in an and like I obviously it's taken a lot of twist and turns and ups and downs and all of those things, but I have this crazy like connection with fans that like I've known since I was 9 10 years old. Um and and I just want to like connect with them again now. And I think that we have gone through a lot of the same things whether that's um complicated relationships, anxiety, raising kids, divorces, um trying to find yourself in adulthood, um family drama. I mean, lots of lots of topics that, you know, just felt like finally I felt safe enough and comfortable in my own family to step outside and open that part of myself up again. And um and you know, like just being comfortable to say no and really not know what the capacity looks like of like, "Okay, I did used to tour arenas and I did do these big giant things when um I was younger and now it might look a little bit different and that's okay, you know, which in the past looked a lot like go work with this songwriter and go right go fly to Sweden and do this thing cuz this is what's working for this person and that you know, just it felt a lot it felt messy and um and still there was like big parts of me in there, but I just didn't really know my power yet. When you >> That makes sense? >> That made complete sense. >> a very long answer. >> No, but it made complete sense. Like do you feel like when you were making your first few albums like Metamorphosis, was that kind of like the path you were on? They were like go work with this person, go work with this person. And like did you not feel like those encapsulated how you felt in that moment? >> So Metamorphosis is a little bit different because I was very involved in that record and that was a very big snapshot of like my life in that moment and entering me as a pop star. Right. How old were you? You were 15, 14? I think maybe I was 14 making the record turning 15. Um and that was a very big like me record and I worked with a lot of the same people which felt good and felt a little bit more like a creative uh journey that was like all in one house. Do you know what I mean? Mhm. Um and then and some of my other records as well. I forget them. I forgot I forget all the titles. >> Um one's called Hilary Duff. That was the self-titled. One is called Hilary Duff colon. I'm dead for you right now. Like >> such good research. >> Breathe in, breathe out. Yeah. So that Most Wanted. Oh, so good. So good. >> >> Dead. No, but it's not even I didn't even need to do research. Like I have been I felt like I've been living with you in my household since I green gained consciousness. You know what I mean? Like I really and truly like I remember watching Lizzie McGuire as a kid and then I remember watching the Lizzie McGuire movie and then Cinderella Story and then you know, like everything. Material Girls, everything. Do you have like a favorite? I loved Cinderella Story. >> I mean. I was like an angsty little preteen like or no, like I was fully teenager I think filming that movie. So that was just like a good time for me. I felt like I was like oh, I'm like filming a cool movie and you know, I wasn't like I was like stepping outside of Lizzie McGuire and that felt that felt exciting and I was starting to do music and so yeah, I think that one. Were you nervous about stepping outside of Lizzie? No, I was so ready. I was so ready. And I you know, I don't mean to talk about her as like a I needed to I needed a break from that, but I really needed a break from her. You were 14, 15. >> Yeah. And I feel like I was so I'm not going to pretend that I was like some amazing actress. Like she was me, I was her, it was the same. You know what I mean? We were both like in the same exact element of our lives and time of our lives and but she just became so famous. Mhm. You were and you didn't expect that at all. No, I I'm such a like grubby little Texas kid that like I like I remember I'm also a valley rat. Like I grew up in the valley. Once we got to LA from Texas, I was like an Oakwood apartment kid. You know, eventually we like got a condo and that was a big deal and we weren't you know, living in the Oakwood apartments anymore and I was just like I had like a scooter gang and like I was just friends with like all the Burbank kids. One weekend Lizzie McGuire posters like appeared at all the malls and I was like meeting my friends at the mall and my mom like didn't even think twice about it and all of a sudden I got mobbed at the mall. And >> And this was after the premiere? I think it was like happening that week. Wow. >> And someone who worked at the mall stuck me in the janitor closet and was like call your mom to come and get you. It was crazy. Were you like in that moment were you were you like this is so cool? Like I this is like I this is like what I've like been working towards and dreamed of or were you like I am so overwhelmed, what did I sign up for? Jake. Mhm. We haven't spent that much time around each other. I never feel cool. Shut shut stop it. >> >> That can't be true. You and the Dodgers hat and a Cinderella Story. I mean my jaw I'm gagged. I'm sitting there like there's no one cooler. In the diner I'm like there's actually never been anyone cooler. You don't feel cool? >> Oh my god. I mean now I love like I I don't want to feel cool now. Like cool is not >> you know, you're like past the point of like feeling cool, you know, that's like in a You didn't feel cool as a teenager being like yeah, I'm Hilary Duff. No. >> >> What? I don't think so. I mean I think I had moments where I had a lot of confidence and then other moments where I was like out of body experience, you know? Was that one of those out of body experiences? Yeah, oh yeah, big time. And I honestly didn't I was just like mom, can you come get me cuz there's lots of people at the mall like really excited that I'm here. Like I've always been like shy. I don't I'm like a hybrid of like shy and very talkative, but like you know, it's I think it was just weird to have like so much attention. Um but I understood it too. Like I'm like I'm an actor. I know I could assume this was going to happen, but it's not really what I wanted the outcome I wasn't it wasn't the desired outcome. Got it. Got it. And then is is that the moment where you're like the before like there was before and then there was after and was that kind of a temple moment of you where it was like now this is after and now Lizzie McGuire has premiered and everything has changed. Or did it take some time? It was instant. >> Mhm. It was really fast. And like it >> that's the power of TV and in people's living rooms, you know what I >> cuz it was just on all the time. >> Yeah. And do you was like >> I remember feeling cool. Like Even Like Even Stevens was on and like all these other shows that I loved watching and I was like and there I am. >> Right. >> Yeah, but like I'm shy about it. Of course. Of course. >> I felt cool. But it's crazy cuz Lizzie McGuire was only on for two seasons. I know. Did Was there ever talk Did they want to push it more and you're like I'm I'm done? >> Okay, so this was like always a complicated thing for me to understand as a like younger person is like Disney Channel had a formula that they followed where they just ordered a certain amount of episodes and that was what they did for their shows. That's like they spent this amount of money, they had this amount of order and they stuck to that formula for all of those shows. >> Right. And I never understood that. Like it was I mean I think one year we shot like 30 episodes in one year and maybe the next one was like 35 episodes in one year. So that's when I'm like I'm not like oh, Lizzie McGuire hated her. I was just like I had worked like you know, You were young as well. >> young and it was just day day every day every day and I was in every single scene of that show pretty much. I was in the A story and the B story. So I was just like pretty tapped on her. But also it was fun. I loved it. I loved it. I had the best time. Um but yeah, that was like I think and then like Lizzie McGuire broke all of their records for the shows and I think after that show they were like oh, we're changing this and like the Hannah Montanas came and Wizards of Waverly Place and stuff and I think maybe they shot more episodes of those. >> I think there was about three or four seasons of those. >> Yeah. Did Selena or Miley or anyone in that generation ever come to you and be like what was this like for you? Like did you ever mentor any of the them or was it just separate separated? It was always like I I can't remember exactly, but I know at some point like Selena and Demi both approached me at at certain things like years and years and years ago then they were like, you know, really lovely and really sweet and kind and telling me how much they love me and that kind of conversation, but I was never like let me show you the way. >> Right. Right. Right. >> Which thank goodness because it's been so fun to watch all of them pave their way and and and watch the journey. It's been like insane. Like what what a ride for all of all of the Disney people, you know? It's crazy though that Disney Channel is not extinct now, but it's not what it was. Like do your children like do they know like what they like understand like how big Disney Channel was or is it big for them still or are they like watching like streamers and stuff like what are the kids watching? >> >> So weird. Every night I put them to sleep and I'm like let me tell you about how big I was on Disney Channel. The network I was on, it was big kids. >> >> Um no, they don't know and they don't care at all. >> They're missing out. >> Yeah. >> >> I'm more just like negotiating iPad time and Right. >> they have like the attention span of a nat and that's that. No, I'm just kidding. They Actually my my four-year-old Maymay loves Cinderella Story and she's like you know, can you put the one on where you're the princess, where you're the girl with the big dress? And I'm like Yeah, but then she only wants to get to the end and she's like why do I have to wait so long for it to to see the dress? Oh, she just wants like the rain and the everything? >> Yeah. My god. We spoke about this very briefly over DM. Were you not during filming like with the mask on and Chad Michael Murray is like who are you? You're like Don't you love it? >> Yeah, but aren't you like Isn't it just part of movie history that you love and you're like >> but in that moment were you like >> Hello. >> Keep my like Were you Were you like clocking it in the moment? Like he he knows, right? Or were you just like whatever, like it. I think I was like 16 and I didn't give a >> >> I was like, I've got to wear this mask on my face. Like >> Right. I wasn't really too invested in the creative at that Got it. >> point. >> Got it. Got it. >> I'm so sorry if I let you down. >> No, no, it's it's okay. Or the wardrobe stylist didn't make the right choice. >> you know what? Like that makes That's the fun of it. You're watching it and you're like, how does he not know? You know >> But you know he is part of my favorite trope and so were you. The unpopular girl works in the diner and the popular boy and the whole popular group comes in and the popular boy shows you attention. And you know what? You've have worked in a diner in multiple films. Oh, wait, what's the other one? Um Raise Your Voice. You worked in a family restaurant. A fact I did not remember. Did she did, right? She did. Like you Do you feel like Do you you feel like Maybe I should have worked in a diner. >> could you? Like if you would have to like throw up >> would crush working in a diner. >> I think you would, too. Cuz you do a great job and I understand it's a movie, but like I've seen it now in two different completely worlds. This is This is a little off topic, but I'm just hoping I find the the thread. I'm like one of my husband's One of the things he complains the most about me is I love to like meet a vacation friend. Mhm. Or like we'll go out to dinner and I'll just like start talking to the table next to us and he's like Hilary, come on. Why? Why? Like we get so little time. Why do you have to like bring this person in? Whatever. I think if I worked at a diner, I would be like social. Yes, you Well, that >> That's the best quality of a diner waiter or waitress is that you know them. >> Yeah, you know that order. Exactly. >> you're like that familiarity. You're like >> Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Do you Okay, so I was also watching Younger and do you Did you watch all of Younger? I watched I I watched it when it was on the air. I watched for a few seasons and then I was in college and I kind of like Oh, I I'll give it to you. Fell off in your college >> in general in college. I was like I like lost myself completely. But when I know I wonder why I would do that if I went to college. Do you ever wonder like >> Yeah, like what I would have been like in either middle school, high school, or college? That is so funny. >> You didn't even Lizzie McGuire was your middle school. >> No, like I was so That was That's like a secret when like The fact that I got a like a locker as Lizzie McGuire, like I felt like it was my own and I was just like, This is when I got >> But you had like all your Burbank friends. Like were they all in middle school being like, this is what middle school is like? And were you like, damn. Yeah. >> you like, it's cool that I'm Lizzie McGuire? Or both? Combination. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Combo. Mhm. What I was going to ask about Younger though was did that feel somewhat like a continuation of Lizzie's story in like a weird way or was it to you two separate entirely two separate stories? To me it was two separate stories because Kelsey had like this confidence that Lizzie never had. And Kelsey was like a little bit more like beast mode with like her career and like driven to like get ahead and she was like a party animal and like sexually like free and I don't feel like Lizzie or is any of those things. But didn't you guys want to make Lizzie like that for the reboot and they were like, uh-uh. And then like that's what happened, right? >> Um yes, I think that there was there was um you know, just disagreeances on how far we could take her and what where she is as you know, she would have been when we were filming that like 30 or 31. And for me I was that age, you know, and so I was just like also felt so deeply connected to her as a character because we were the same. >> Mhm. And I was like, oh man, like we can't we can't marry Tyler Moore her. Mhm. That's not like >> >> I don't know. It was like 2023. Like You know what I mean? There's like social media and like like we weren't I wasn't trying to have her like wake up and do like bong rips or anything. >> >> But like she was a normal 30-year-old, you know? So there was some things I think they just weren't like totally willing to And do you Did you see her? Like do you think Lizzie and Gordo had like a thing post? Or do you think they stayed friends? So I don't think they had a thing post. I think they had like maybe an almost thing post. I know. Like again, like another swing at it that like didn't Yeah, devastating, right? In my mind, this is my story. >> are Lizzie. >> But I think that there was a thing with someone else that was just very quick. And Gordo was like, uh I think maybe there was like a thing with Like in my mind, I like to think she had like a thing with Ethan Craft finally. Oh. Yes, you agree? Totally agree. Yeah, just a quick thing. Like a like a you know. And Gordo's like Yeah. Yeah, and he's always like there to pick up her pieces still. Like I know. >> I mean he >> fun to play the what ifs. Like I love to play it out. >> you really don't think ever with Gordo? No, you know what? You said no. I agree. I agree. I agree. Yeah. Was there ever conversation about taking Lizzie into high school and you were like No. It was just like junior high, she's done. Mhm. Wow. Yeah. I don't think that was the demo for the Disney Channel. Like high school students. And did you when you were filming the the movie? >> So that they had never done that. They had never done a movie. And when you were filming that and it came out cuz when it came out it was major. Like did you expect it to be as big as it was cuz of Lizzie McGuire had been so big? Or were you like still being like, wow, this is crazy. I don't really recall. Like it all was so big. That's all I remember is like it was all so big. It was all so like, oh this has never happened before. Oh, look at this these numbers are this you know, it was like all this stuff that like I kind of understood but didn't really understand and like I was also like a selfish teenager. Right, of course. >> so I I had other other things to pay attention to which I think was probably really healthy that like my parents or my mom wasn't like basking in the Obviously, everybody loves success, right? It was all great for business. Yeah. But um I still like I think I was like getting my driver's license and I was really focused on that. >> >> Do you When did though like photographers and press start like >> Right around that time. So like 2003. They like you were That's when they started following you around and stuff. >> Yeah. And do you remember feeling like, oh I feel this this feels weird at one point? Are you feeling like this is getting more intense and this feels weird. >> Yeah. Got it. Um I just remember having to like deal with paparazzi everywhere I went. So that was weird cuz and my sweet friends my friends would be like my bodyguard. I think part of it was like there was a tiny tiny portion that was like kind of fun and exciting. >> Of course. >> And then it got old really fast and then we were all like really sick of it. Well, cuz like at first it's like, ooh hi photo, hi. And then it's like, oh no, you've it's actually you're waiting outside my house and you're following me everywhere. Yeah, I mean there's there's There's sometimes there's some paps around, but um not like it used to be like hordes of them, you know? And like following me around all day long. They love to do it to a pregnant woman which is like the worst possible time to want to be followed around. And you know, just every single location, every single stop you're making throughout the day they're there and they're like driving crazy and they don't care and they do break all the rules and they have no respect for you and Got it. But it has changed a lot. Right. Or people don't care about me anymore. I don't know which one. People care. Do you hear how many people screamed when you came out as Sally with Role Model? Yes, I did. Like that was I want to say that was the most talked about crazy Sally. It was. Do you agree? Completely agree. People were like, no chance. And it was. What was that like? That was so fun, honestly. I had been listening to his music a lot and um I was just cooking dinner for my kids, honestly. It was like a normal night at my house. And I tend to not be in touch with my cell phone for like a few hours during that time. That's like a That's peak craziness at my house. It's like 4:30 to like 7:30. And my husband calls the home phone. We have a home phone cuz we live in the canyon. Yeah, we have like shitty service. Oh, >> have like a landline. We have a landline, babe. Oh my god. Yeah, I mean we also have Wi-Fi, but >> No, right. >> just in case we got that landline. Wow, so he called the landline. >> Yeah, and he's like, babe, can you please pick up your phone? Everyone's trying to reach you. You have to go be Sally tomorrow. And I was like, what? That's exciting. And I was like, I can't. I have too much to do tomorrow. And he was like, no, no, no, you're going to go do it. And I was like, okay, I'm going to go do it. And then I just like moved a bunch of around and dug my cowboy boots out of my closet and um was on a plane like the next morning at 8:00 a.m. and it was fun. It was very fun. I also like I'm from Texas. Right, so it was like felt full circle almost. Yeah. And do you know I was the first ever Sally. No. Yeah. What? I want to tell you. No. I was the first ever Sally. >> Stop. >> Swear, in Houston. What? That's crazy. >> Dallas. I'm so sorry. In Dallas. In Dallas. But cuz I was in Houston the next night, which is why I thought that. But still, close by. You were the first Sally? Yeah. I want to I want to see the footage. >> I'll send it to you. >> to compare our um Yours is much better, but cuz I didn't know what to do. But yeah, I was the first Sally. That's amazing. Are you guys friends? Yeah, he's been on the show. He's great. Cute. >> But he there was like um there was like a he's been on the show twice, and so there was like a rumor that the song was like written about me. I was like a obviously a joke, and I love attention, so I'm like repost, obviously. Like I want to reiterate the rumor. And I was like, "Oh my god, you're in Dallas. I'm in Dallas." And he's like, "Do you want to come out and do something?" And Sally was born. Stop. >> >> You created it. This movement. Kind of. >> Also, I've never had such a mix of people like, "Wait, who is Sally?" Or "Holy you're going to be Sally?" Like it's >> Yes, it's a huge huge thing. >> Yeah, yeah. That's crazy though about concert culture, that has changed drastically, is bringing out people as like a show. That never used to be a thing, right? Cuz like What What do you think like performing pre-social media versus during social media? Like what is the difference to you? Obviously, there's like very obvious differences, but like to you, what is the difference? I mean, I think it's just a common theme in life now, where like everything is filmed and like you're witnessing everything through your camera lens to get it on camera, so you can like I guess relive it again or I don't know what, so you can brag about it or what. Like that's You know what I mean? Like it's not just concerts, it's witnessing and like I'm watching my kid do a thing at school, and instead of just watching it, I'm like watching it through my screen. Right. Um but I think that's that's the that's the thing is just to like have it, I guess, or to catch the moment. Like what's the We're all a lot less present. One thing I'm grateful for is that I don't always have to go to the concert and I can see it on social media. >> Got it. Got it. >> what I mean? Like the highlights? Yes. Do you want to talk about your single? Cuz by by the time this comes out, it'll be announced. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. >> Mature? Yeah. Where was the inspiration behind that? What was it like creating it? Yeah, with mature it's it's a really fun song, and I feel like it's myself talking to my younger self about an experience that we had, and just reflecting on it, and um being okay with it, and having like you know, a little like tongue-in-cheek moment with yourself. Um and and like accepting your past, and um like being good with where you landed. Right. Does that make sense? >> complete sense. >> Yeah. It's like you can look back on a situation with more wisdom than you had in the moment, and then like release the feelings that you have towards it. Do you feel like when you write a song, you release everything you have about that situation? I don't think I release everything, but I think it feels good to talk about. Like it's just like sitting with a friend, right? Like anytime someone's meeting you where you're at or has had a similar experience, like you feel instantly a little better about yours. Right. And that's what music does, right? Like you see yourself or feel yourself in music, and that's why you keep listening to it, cuz it sees you and you see it. Do you have a song in your discography that you recognize really resonates with your fans the most, and like you feel very connected to them while performing that song? Ooh, that's a really good question. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to like dig into my my disco- my discog- disc- Yeah. Do it for me. >> Discography. >> >> Um but I might text you later and be like, "It's this one." >> Yes. Um there's a song that you might be familiar with. It's called Wake Up. Might be familiar? Okay. It wasn't a single, so I never know. >> Wake Up wasn't a single? >> No, babe. That was just for me in the moment of my life and feeling like everywhere I went I had eyes on me, and everyone was like talking about me, and whether it was good or bad, it didn't matter. It was just like performing that song was always like the most fun. I feel like I loved it, and the audience was like there with me, and I I it's not like the most emotional one, but it was always it always hit. Did you like touring? I really loved touring. I mean, I couldn't wait to get on stage every night, and um especially in the beginning. I mean, I think one of my first shows was in Santa Cruz, and it was like at a skate park. And it was like 400 kids packed in, standing room only. Like crazy. It was so much fun. I had no idea what the I was doing. Like 0%. I was like, "I don't I barely know how to sing, but I'm having the time of my life." >> Right, right. >> I had like had very little like training, but I had these songs, and I was like going to go for it. So, it was just like really scrappy, and I remember like just I feeling like my eyes were wide open, and I was just going to like do the best I could. Were you nervous? Yeah, hell yeah, I was nervous, of course. But then quickly after that, I was like selling out arenas. >> Right. So, it was this wild thing, and of course I loved it. I had the best time. Um And then I got a little older, and like it became a lot. Like it became monotonous, and there wasn't so many breaks. Like I would tour, and then I would go film a movie, and then I would go back to touring, and then I would make a record, and then I would go film a movie, and then it was just like crazy. So, I think after a while I really needed a break, and I was just like burnt out. And I was like tired of having people on retainer and being responsible for like tons of people's lives to float, you know? >> Right. Do you feel though when you were on tour, because obviously when you were in LA or you were in New York, the press would follow you around everywhere. But do you feel like when you were on tour and you were going from state to state, like it was almost like a break from that or not at all? I think I'm more excited to do it now, Mhm. with cuz I'm like who I am, and I'm and know what I like and what I how I enjoy spending my time, and you know, I I wasn't like a formed person yet then, so I just spent a ton of time in my hotel room, and in the venue. And I just went from like bus to venue to hotel room to bus to venue to hotel like it wasn't it was really fun and amazing, and then it got really old. Yeah. It's a lot. It's a lot. >> myself how to knit. While you were on tour? >> Yeah. Did you I have a lot of grandma like qualities as well. Like I own chickens, and I like do sourdough, and I taught myself how to like crochet and knit, and you know, there's a there's a lot of like granny things happening. I love to go to bed early. What time do you like to go to bed? I like to be in bed at like 9:15. You know what? I also feel the same exact way about myself. And I put on my TV show, I go right to bed. Yeah. I I sometimes don't even put on the TV show. Do you have a show you're watching right now? I'm watching a show with Luca right now, which is really fun, because now I have a 13-year-old son, and so we can watch like more adult things together. Uh we're watching Wayward. Oh, I've heard it's great. Is Do you like it? >> Yeah, there's still a lot of questions, and I'm almost at the end, so I'm a little ready to like When are they going to wrap up the questions? >> Toni Collette is genius. Yeah. Speaking of Toni Collette, have you seen Hereditary? No. Okay. I miss a lot of things. Having four kids, I miss a lot of things. >> Okay. Like I'm scared you're going to ask me what I'm listening to right now, cuz I like >> Don't worry. Don't worry. >> >> Do you like horror movies at all or not? No. Okay, then you can't watch Hereditary. I told you I'm not old enough. Okay, right. Of course. >> baby. Right. But if you ever do find yourself watching Hereditary, ask your husband if he's ever seen it. He's He's Not a horror person either? We love murder. Love mystery, love murder. Don't love like horror. >> Okay, that's Hereditary. Okay. And in a really twisted way, Raise Your Voice walked so Hereditary could run. Wait, what are you saying right now? >> Like I'm You what? I'm telling you, and like you're going to and you if you watch Hereditary, you will understand what I am talking about. >> Okay. >> literally watching Raise Your Voice, and I was like, "This is Hereditary." Wait, she goes to like a performing arts school and sings and what? >> no. There's just like certain things. I can't spoil Hereditary for you. But you'll just be like, "I'm dead." Okay. Literally. Like >> >> Do you know what I mean? Like Hereditary, same >> I need to watch Raise Your Voice again. Yeah, you same I swear. I was like, "Oh my god, it's Hereditary." That I know whoever made Hereditary watched Raise Your Voice before. >> fan. Yes, they were a big big Raise Your Voice fan. Also, just combined genres. Yes. Yes. Okay. All right. I I know it sounds crazy, but like if you get it, it is like it is so specific. Whatever. I believe you. I believe you. >> We you talked about earlier really enjoying connecting with your fans. Do you feel like acting, connecting with your fans via singing, or connecting with your fans in other like business endeavors, it's all different types of connection for you? And like which one do you feel like the strongest with? Mhm. Well, I have to say music. >> Right. It's you just you're so out there and like front-facing on your with your words and your terms and your way and you know, it's just it's exposure way differently than like going and filming someone else's script. Mhm. Um and I think that's why I need I took such a big break. I wasn't ready I wasn't like in a space to like be sharing like that, you know? Mhm. Um but it is the best way to connect, I think, and it's the highest compliment, you know, when people are like, "Oh, your music this this" or just showing excitement for like what's to come. It's it really makes me feel good and I can't wait to to feel that again. It's been a really long time. I've missed everybody and I'm always greeted with such like kindness, really and truly, like when Younger got put on Netflix, it had this like whole resurgence and people were so excited to find that show. That show was always like the little engine that could. I felt like people that saw it loved it, but like not too many people knew about it, but it was like this weird it went on for like 7 years was just a very long-running show, you know? And people loved it, but when it was finally on Netflix like a year ago or something and everybody thought it was like this new show. It was really fun just to have everyone like fall in love with it over again. Um and then, you know, the Lizzie of it all is like it's such a high-paying compliment, you know? Um and it's also something that travels with me in a way that I have to like send a little care to myself because, you know, one of the things that people constantly are like, "Hey, like oh my god, you were my entire childhood. You were my entire childhood." And like it's such a compliment and then also I'm like, here is a 38-year-old woman and I'm like, it's okay. You're okay. Don't worry about it. Like you've done other things that they like, but that one really stood out and that's fine. Right, right. Like you're like, "Well, what about my other stuff?" A little bit. Sometimes it Sometimes it feels like that. Like you're just like, "Oh man, am I ever going to snag them again?" You know? But I think that that, you know, this this time around with music finally the pressure's off and I get to just like fully be myself and I don't care. Mhm. Cuz you're so happy in your life. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> >> Did you get sick after the rain scene in A Cinderella Story? No. Okay. But I'm always sick. If you can't tell. >> >> Um I'm I think I have like a tough exterior shell and I'm like a little my weakened immune system is like eggshells. But I also have four kids that I'm coming They're like disgusting little germs. Kids? They are so germy. It's the craziest thing. Yeah, I want to hear your take on that even though you don't have kids. Like I Does it go under like the dog food category for you? >> for those that are unaware, Hilary was shocked when I said I can't have a dog because >> Because No. I'm just shocked by the because. I had to fill that in. >> Because you know those bags of dog food? It's like a freezer bag of dog food that people keep in their fridge. I think it is so nasty. It bugs me out so much and like I understand like that is what's best for the dog and I know I can't give my dog a good life cuz I cannot have that anywhere near me. What about just kibble? Well, but so but obviously there's a reason people aren't feeding their dogs kibble anymore. Right. >> You know, they're feeding them these like Yeah. Human grade >> What? Like It's so gross. >> You definitely couldn't ever have a cat. >> out of the bag in a way I've never seen and every time I look at it, I'm like, "Fuck." Wait, I'm trying to think of like human food that we would eat that would like slop out of the bag. You don't mess with that either. Like what would slop? Like macaroni and cheese >> like when people put spaghetti in a plastic bag and bring it to a picnic. Get out of my face. >> Who's doing that? >> >> Who's doing that? >> You've never seen someone do that? They like will be like, "Okay, I brought spaghetti." And it's in like a plastic bag. You've never I'm like, You are defriended immediately. >> I I agree. I agree. I hate picnic food. I hate it. I don't want to go on a picnic. >> Wait, first of all, spaghetti is not a picnic food. >> I also think so. I think so, too, but there are people that have been like, "I brought spaghetti." >> You're like, "You brought the one thing you had in your refrigerator. You got to bring an offering." I hate potlucks. I hate potlucks. >> >> I don't want a hodgepodge of what everybody thinks is good. What is fun about that? >> Right. >> Let's pick a cuisine and stick to it. Okay, I understand your your enthusiasm around this. Like you don't want to do the tour around the world of food >> No. I mean, I would if it was made by one person. Or like, you know what I mean? Like when everyone's like, "I brought the" No. No. >> No. And I hate picnics. But you know what? This is a perfect segue into Can't wait. >> therapist. Yes. >> As you can tell, I get very angry about certain things. What are you therapist about today? I'm I'm pretty therapist about my my post-nasal drip situation, my my cough. Mhm. But I was thinking about this and I was like, well, I'm pretty pissed about a lot of things. Right now, I'm really pissed about getting gray hairs. I don't see a single gray hair. >> It's happening. It's happening. It's crazy. >> ever it's happening? Uh No, like uh so when you're pregnant, you go through like lots of hormonal changes really fast, right? So, I started to notice like, "Oh, that's so weird." But I was like, "It's just cuz I'm pregnant." Well, now I haven't been pregnant for like 17, 18 months and these little babies are popping up and it's crazy and I'm just not ready. I just don't like feel ready. And it happens. I can't wait for you to call me one day and tell me it happens. >> So, I actually found a gray this summer. >> And what did you do? Did you yank it out? >> I freaked the out. I'm 25. I'm literally I was I was on vacation. I woke up and I was taking a selfie and I was like, "Wait, something looks really off." >> Really shiny? >> And it was just and I turned the camera and it was a gray hair. Yeah. It's the craziest thing. >> Did you pull it out? >> Of course. I ripped it out of my hair. It was like a few. >> A few? And I was like, "What? It's cuz I'm so stressed out all the time. I know that's what it is. It must be what it is." It's like sabotaging. Like nothing about me feels ready for that at all. And like eventually, when I feel like I'm like 45, like I think I'd be down. I'm cool with like having that and being like not There's not one part of me that ever wants to be 25 again. What? >> >> Like I just I hope you're having the time of your life, but like I did it. I'm good. Yeah. >> I know No part of me wants to be a different age. Did you enjoy your 20s? Like Can you imagine you having a baby a year ago? No, of course not. Um I think going back to like our previous conversations about like touring and having so much at a young age, right? A lot of excitement, lot of success, a lot of all those shiny things. Um once that got old, I was like so ready for something to be like tangible and mine. Like I really was ready to have a baby. Mhm. And I always knew I wanted to be a young mom. So, as quickly as that like came about and I felt ready for it, I didn't know anyone that had babies. None of my friends had kids. I had to like one be me and then go like put myself out there in people groups of people that I didn't know to like find motherhood friends and like learn about how to be a mom and exist in that like capacity. Um so, and then I also got a divorce in my 20s. So, like I had a lot of fun and I had a lot I felt like I was like trudging or floating. Like it was like a very weird combination of an experience for my 20s. But yes, I had fun. So, you said you didn't know any other people that were moms. So, like and I feel like a lot of people don't know like not only is having the kid hard and taking care of the kid, but then mentally how you are is hard as well. Like did you struggle at all with like not being able to like having a kid and raising a kid and what was that like for you? >> Yeah. Learning how to nurse a baby was like nuts. That's always like I feel like um I feel like having a baby, there's always like a cross to bear. Like and it's you're going to like struggle either getting pregnant, staying pregnant, nursing or in like labor or something. There's like going to be one crazy thing that you didn't expect to happen. For me, it's always nursing. It's just hard. It doesn't come easy to me. It's like this pressure of this thing that you're supposed to be really good at and it's it's supposed to just all happen and like you feed your baby and it's like no big deal and it's like that is not how it goes down. It's like painful, it's uncomfortable. Like I don't know. It was just a It's every single time it was hard for me and it was like this thing I wanted to be really good at. Um but that was hard and then yeah, finding your place in your friend group again once your your priorities like changed to be your baby. And you know, everybody's still like going out or just doesn't have those like I mean, there there's not much more that's a bigger responsibility than taking care of a human life. You know what I mean? It was like this really big thing. So, um yeah, but that was so long ago. I honestly can't remember the like big moments that were that were a struggle, but I know that it was there and it happened, but I found my community and put myself out there and like figured that all out, but um but then yeah, it was like being single and being a mom and I was still in my 20s. Right. >> Um which would like gave me this sense of empowerment, but also this sense of like like it's weird to be single and be a mom and be me. You know? You just had your fourth kid. And do you when you think about your fourth pregnancy and your first pregnancy, was there certain things like you were so anxious about your first pregnancy that you were like, "Oh my god, I can't believe I I was so anxious about that or I was so scared to do that or I was like Was there Is there stuff that you learned along the way throughout um different pregnancies? There's just an ease that comes over around with each like subsequent one where you're just like you know this. You know that this thing happens. You know these feelings. You know that it's temporary. I think that's the biggest thing for me is like I'm such a I'm a pretty impatient person, so I want things like this this this this this. And um and you can't rush that process. You have no control over it. And so that's like the hard the hard thing for me. But you just realize after you do it a few times, you're like, "Oh yeah, this thing happens. My body's going to change. My this feels like this." And you know, it's you realize it's a blip in like your whole life's journey. It's It's really like a snapshot in time and it's and it's quick and it's fleeting and there's like beauty in it and and you know, also like hardships and bittersweetness. >> >> Um do you want to get into the tell me what's wrongs? Yeah. Okay, so that Do you know what >> I'm so excited about the tell me what's wrongs. >> Really? Yeah. Wait, you know about the tell me what's wrongs? Yeah. Okay. I've been on three dates with this man from Hinge, and he has not complimented me once. He was affectionate in bed, but not when we were talk not when we are just talking to each other. I want him to compliment me, but I don't want to ask for it. What should I do / say? This is so I really relate to this because I think that like I don't I'm not I don't know if it's like my love language, but like I don't You got to be able to like compliment in person and like face-to-face in like a normal setting, not just like in a in a in a bed setting. You know what I mean? Like I struggle with this as well. I feel like if you've had three dates, that's a lot of time with someone. Don't you? Yes, I completely agree. I really struggle with like looking someone in the eye and being like, "You look so good." And like taking myself seriously. Like I get so uncomfortable. Yeah. >> It's like you have to be in the the bedroom to like pull or like I think maybe he's just like awkward. But I think honestly, I think her saying like something like if somebody said that to me, I'd be like, "Okay, then I feel less awkward." >> to know if she's um complimenting him. You know what I mean? If she's complimenting him, it opens the door for him to be able to do the same. Okay, great point. Right? >> I don't take compliments. >> But also if she's like serious enough about him, then she could just be like hey, like this is something that I kind of need. But also it sucks to ask for what you need. You're like, "Can't you just read my mind? Don't you just know what I need?" Right. I get in this thing with my husband, too. I love to tell him he forgot to tell me he loves me, and he's like, "What? You're crazy." And I'm like, "I said it first today and yesterday and the day before." And he's like, "You're absolutely nuts." Do you remember the first time you guys said I love you? Yes, it was at Pace. Have you ever been there? I have been to Pace. The salmon. The salmon's the best. >> Best. Yeah. And he said Who said it? You said it or he said it? He drew it on the table. Shots up. Yeah, and I looked down and I was like, I know. He's so cute. >> He's the best. >> >> What? Yeah, he drew it on the table. >> I love you in crayon? Mhm, in crayon. Oh my god. I have it. I have it somewhere. I ripped it off the table and brought it with me. I was like, "You're coming with me." And were you like, "I love you, too?" >> Yes. Oh my god, I could cry. >> much loved him, too. I was very excited. Did you get the salmon? Always. Yeah. But also don't sleep on the snapper. I've never had it. >> Yeah, you have to get the snapper cuz I get tired of the salmon. Okay. I was going to say I'm tired of the salmon. >> Go with the snapper, babe. Okay. >> Yeah. Should we go to Pace? Sure. We don't have to. I could tell you I love you for the first time with a crayon. >> Would you? >> Yeah. Okay, cool. I really want that. >> >> I would love to meet you at Pace. Don't play with me. But we're drinking some wine. I would happily drink some wine. >> I won't like judge you. >> be a tomato. You'll be >> >> But yes, I will happily do that. I have been feeling isolated from my life and friends for about a year now, and I want to be more social again. However, I'm so scared and mad that none of my friends checked in on me or even asked to hang out because I just haven't been a part of any social scene recently. I want new friends, but I'm scared to lose my old ones. What do I do? Oof. Oof. Right? >> Yeah. That's a lot. >> Well, I think that if they were your friends only for social settings, they weren't your friends. Totally. >> Which is something I learned in COVID. >> I think this goes back to my theme of like not wanting to be in my 20s again because social circles are just more complicated, you know? Um friendships are like >> >> a little more fickle, it seems, when you're younger. Um and like going out and like I don't know, people's needs are like at the forefront of their like what they want to do is in the forefront, you know? So I don't know how old this person is, but yeah, if no one checked in on you when you were having a a season of your life where you were like, "I need to be a little more like insular," then that's not a good friend. It's bad friend. >> Yeah. This is going to sound so dorky and mom-like, but um our nanny is the cutest. I'm obsessed with her, and she's like 25, and she goes and she'll like join a pickleball group. Or like you just have to like find some things that you like to do and go like join a group, and it will expand your life instead of looking for all the same things in the same places. I couldn't agree more. My roommate is a runner, and she joined uh Venice Run Club. Met so many people she loves through running. Right? >> It's just like >> there's like a common Right. thread. When I worked in music, I was very passionate about working there, and I met so many people like co-workers that became very a huge part of my life. And like that was my interest. My job was my interest, and that obviously isn't the same for any everyone, but like when I had that cuz I was in school, I was like I had this internship at that became my full-time job. But when I had that outside interest, it became everything to me, and I met so many people, and we met at my music job and like everything. Yeah. And I think just having that outside interest is crucial. I think it's just harder in college, and I feel like she might be in college. >> Right. I know because your your world is like right there in front of you, and it's hard to like get out of that. It's so hard. Like So like in college, what I felt was like every It's just like people who say college isn't like high school is they're lying. It's the same Like everything feels so important in the moment. And so that's why these people are like not speaking to and they're going out all the time because in the moment, that night out to them is the most important thing. >> Yeah, I I think I was trying to say that before where it's like what you want is right in front of you at that time of your life, right? Like just the your one night's plans is everything to you. And and and when you zoom out of that, it's so silly, but that's what like growing up is. Like I I try to tell my son that when when like he has a thing with a friend or whatever, I'm like, "This feels like everything to you right now. I I want you to know that I'm like honoring that feeling cuz I understand, but it's just going to go away next week. Or like in 2 weeks, it's going to be like the next thing." And but it just feels so big. Do you Are there moments that you like look back in your 20s and teens and you're like, "Oh my god, in that moment, I thought this was the end end the worst thing to ever happen, and now I'm like it doesn't even matter, and I wish I could tell myself that"? Like do you have those moments as well? Yeah. Oh my gosh, of course. I can't I mean, if you really wanted to, I could I could pinpoint a few, but yeah, for sure. What's one? >> >> I mean, I think like a really silly one was I think just because I like grew up in the time of like scandal and like them wanting to like catch you doing something Everybody wanted to catch me doing something bad. And I remember I was crossing the street with my friend Marco, and I was in front of Kitson, and it was like when jelly bags were cool, like see-through jelly bags, and a paparazzi took a picture of me and was like, "There's a condom in her bag." And I don't know if it was a condom or like a valet ticket. It was a square piece of paper in my bag, and all of a sudden I got a phone call from my mom, and she was like, "Is there a condom in your bag?" And blah blah blah. It was like this And I just remember feeling like, "I'm in trouble. I'm caught. I did something bad." And I was just like a normal aged How old were you? I think I was like 17 or something. Like I'm like, "I don't know if it was a condom. I even think I'm being safe." >> >> You know what though? I actually when I went So there's accounts like Getty Image fan club. There's like things that post like throwbacks like that. Apparently that was photoshopped. Okay, so that's what I'm saying. I can't recall. I just remember getting the phone call from my mom and being like, "Shit." And were you >> was a normal teenager. Like I did normal things. And so I think that like >> course. >> I don't recall it all, but I remember that being a big deal. Was Was trusting people hard for you back in that day cuz like people would like go to the press and stuff cuz like that's when like tabloids were everything. You know, and like blogs were everything. >> Yeah. Was like Did you have to learn who to trust at like an early age? >> that I was like, "Oh, I think that person's not trustworthy." Right. Um I've always had a really good gauge of people. I think it's like a a little talent that I have. Like I I have really good friends and I it doesn't take me long to like figure someone out and or just like figure out that someone's not for me, Mhm. you know? So, I didn't run in like a huge group of celebs and stuff and I think that was also very good for my health back then. Right. >> I wasn't like spilling out the clubs with like other teen stars and stuff. Right. Did you ever like >> the club? Sure did. >> >> Was it fun? Like what was clubbing culture like back then? With no phones? Like >> phones, yeah. Yeah, I remember like a lot of the times people would like run me out the back door because like police would be like coming in. >> >> Right. >> like underage. >> Right. >> But it was just fun. Like it was way We used to spend 3 hours getting ready to go out. >> Stop. >> imagine? >> No. >> go out till like midnight. >> Huh? I know. >> out at 8:00 p.m. now. I know, which is dreamy for me if I ever have to go out, but >> Not for me. I was so responsible though. If I had like something to do the next day, I would still be up at like 7:30 like >> Right. Right. >> And then would would like in the day So like there was no Uber back then. Would you like call a cab or have a DD? >> Yes, call a cab. Got it. >> And so the cabs would like wait in the parking lots of like the like LaDoux or like Yeah. >> >> Yeah, Area or whatever the club was. And what like Yeah, and you'd have to just like get in the car and it would be like mobs of like paparazzi. Yeah. And they would would they like find you back outside as well? Yeah. Honestly, I might pay a lot of money to have one of those nights and just like try to relive the feeling. Was it like I feel like a movie star? I mean, you were a movie star, but we >> think I was like trying to be like Just act normal. Just look normal. Right. Like even if you were drunk, you just >> you in a blink. >> Right. Right. Right. And then would you Was it like sometimes you would go out and then you would wake up the next day and all the tabloids like you'd walk past the tabloid and you would see yourself? Um not quite that quick turnaround, but like on Perez Hilton or something, yeah. You could have like a dick drawn on your face or something, you know, by him. What? >> Yeah, babe. He would draw dicks on people's faces? >> Yeah. You don't know this? Do you guys know this? You're all babies. Wait, no, I knew he like drew stuff, but I didn't know it was that vulgar. Oh, yeah. And he just did it he just ripped it and didn't care? Yeah. Damn. Dude, did you let yourself get like offended by that or were you like, "This is stupid"? I think it was a it depended on the day. Yeah. >> Right? Yeah. >> Like sometimes you were like loved and sometimes you weren't. Right. I think that this time around I'm like a little bit bracing for that element because it's so nice to see the excitement, you know? But I just don't want to put too much weight on it because things change with like the tides so fast. Um and and everybody has a platform to make a a a statement or a comment and um so feels a little unhinged. I agree and what I was going to ask you what I was so excited to talk to you about was like what do you think the difference is in celebrity culture back then versus now in terms of like Oh, I have a big one. Yeah. Now you can curate your entire life how you want people to see it. Mhm. You couldn't do that back then. So now people have like Tik Tok, Instagram and you can like curate how exactly what you want people to see and know. And back then people just assumed and it was like you did you didn't get to make up your own narrative like you do now. And you can like also quickly respond to things. Yeah. And just be like, "No. Yes. No." Yeah. Like was there ever times where you were like wanting to respond to stuff and you just like couldn't cuz you didn't have the platform to do so? Like you didn't have like the you didn't have like a blog to be like, "This isn't true" or like Yeah, but people like you still really can't Yeah, I guess you >> do that now. Like you can say it, but people are going to like assume what they want, right? Or like there's endless like Tik Tok people digging >> Yes. >> a journey of whatever, you know? Yeah, it's crazy. a normal sentence Exactly correct. Uh that just like made my life by the way in ways like LaDoux. Oh my god. Like I could die. >> Bottle service at LaDoux? Stop. >> Dancing on tables? Was it just amazing? The the music was so fun. That's what I used to remember. Oh my god, like like like 50 Cent and like Nelly and like you know, like it was like early 2000s, so it was like like Ashanti. Right. And once you were in the club, was it kind of like this sacred space cuz there wasn't camera phones and there was nothing, so it was like we are we can do whatever we want. >> Yeah, and you'd be like, "Oh, that's that person's table. That's that person's table." And then like yeah, it was it was really funny. I think I would pay mhm $2 million flat for one night like that. Like take me back in time. Have me be like We're going to Hyde. Stop. Like what was it like at the OG location? >> Okay, I was just at dance class with my daughter and this I was talking to this old neighbor that I used to have and she was talking to this friend of hers and she's like, "I have to tell you." I was like, "You are so familiar to me. I can't get over it. Like I know I know you from somewhere." She was like, "I don't." And she was like, "I was a head head um server at Hyde." And I was like, I'm dead on the floor. I was like, "The original Hyde?" And she was like, "Yes." And I was like, "I can't. I can't with you. This is the best." >> And Hyde was like the Hyde was the spot. And it was just like would you What was the night >> this big. Yeah, that was about to say. It was very small, right? >> big, yes. And what nights of the week were you like, "Hyde night"? >> I can't really remember, but never a weekend. Obsessed. You know that doesn't happen anymore. We don't we don't do that anymore. I feel like it was Thursday. I'm sure it was. I life was more fun. Wow. >> >> How do I kindly tell my friend to shut the up about her new boyfriend? I was hanging out with her and a few of my friends and she was on FaceTime with him the whole time. Oh, she's just excited. I tried to get her tell her to get off and she just ignored me. That's annoying. Her whole entire personality is her boyfriend now and I don't know what to do. Do I drop her? No? Or tell her to drop her boyfriend? Literally neither. You can't ask her to make that choice. Just be like you are you have boyfriend goggles on and like open your eyes and like touch grass. Right. Touch grass. Go ground. Take your shoes off. >> Take but I know the reason I'm so empathetic is cuz I know that when when I get a boyfriend, I will be that way. >> Mhm. Don't you agree? A million percent. Like it's going to consume me. I know that. I feel I feel for her. Yeah. >> sucks and that's annoying and you like yeah, I feel like you need to just let her let her be excited and get that like initial stuff out of the way. That initial excitement, you know what I mean? Yes. >> She'll come back to you. >> She'll Oh, they always do. >> But the more annoyed you act like You're going to push her away. >> Yes. Yeah. You kind of just have to let your friend do it and just be there for your friend. >> But also, you can pull back from your friend a little bit if like if every time you guys are hanging out, she's just on FaceTime with her boyfriend, I'd be like, I'm going to go. Right. I'm going to leave. >> See you later. And show her what it's like without you a little and then she'll be like, "Why aren't you hanging out with me?" And then it's like, "Well, you're always on the phone with your boyfriend all the time." >> Yeah. Be like, "I miss you." I think if you come come like with your heart facing forward and you're just like, "I miss you" and like every can we hang out? I don't want to also be hanging out with your boyfriend on FaceTime. Of course. >> Let's have some one-on-one time, please. Love you so much. Thank you. Have you ever had a friend that you're like, "I hate your boyfriend so much" and like it was like cuz and you're like, "How do I be a good friend to you and still hate your boyfriend?" Yes. Yes. Oh, yeah. One of my best friends. She He he actually came Oh. Mhm. It just like hit me that like this is going to be in the world. Um >> to We can move on. >> No, no. He came He came to a holiday at our house and he had to leave and as he like left, I like put my door on the back and I was like, "No. Absolutely not. No. It's over. It's done. Like I hate the way he speaks to you. I hate the way he talks to you. You are not you around him. Like absolutely no." And she was like she basically like was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. You're right. You're right." She was like, "I'm done. I'm done. I'm done." I was like, "Whoa. That was just the most insane crazy I understand It's not really happened to me before, but I understand how people could get wrapped in something like super unhealthy um because of like an initial like spark that feels really good, you know? >> >> Wow. >> Um but yeah, that has happened and it's strange. >> You handled it well though. No, no, no, no, no. >> I'm like very direct. Are you the one in the friend group that's like are you like the mom of the friend group? >> Yes. Okay. Yes. Do you feel like you help take care of everyone else and like you're the one that they come to with problems? Um I think that a lot of us hold that space for each other like to where we could come with problems, but I'm just very direct. Mhm. So maybe a little bit too much sometimes. What's your star sign? I'm a Libra. Wow. >> like balance. Right. You're very peaceful. You're not like you don't fight with people. I don't like to fight with people, but I don't like to like have like a rub with someone or or something and then like not work through it. That drives me crazy. It like infiltrates every aspect of my life. I agree. >> So, I need to like handle my I I fighting with like friends is like actually the worst feeling I think of all time. Yeah. >> Of all time. >> Yeah. And the only thing that tops it is a friendship breakup. I think it is I've never had like a real breakup, so I wouldn't know, but like I I just think they're the worst feelings on the planet Earth. >> Yeah. Oh, a friendship breakup could like possibly be worse than a breakup breakup. >> I mean, I've never had a breakup breakup, but I'm I think so, too. Yeah. Do you >> suck. Suck. And then like I suck, too, sometimes, you know? It's like a mixture of just that. Do you remember like at what age you like looked around your friend group and you were like, "Okay, I feel stable in my friend group and my friends and my love life and my social life." Do you remember like what when you felt that? Probably right around my 30th birthday. Like my my now husband came back into my life at that time. And I remember looking around the table at my 30th birthday and we were like we had dated before but broken up and gotten back together and dated and broken up and got back together. And >> >> I remember looking around the table at my 30th birthday and being like like almost wanting to cry, but I was having like it just like a little private moment of like how grateful I was to see the faces that were there and like all that we had been through cuz a lot of like it was just a mixture of uh you know, really long-standing deep relationships. Like 17 year friendships, 20 year friendships. Um and then, you know, and also new faces and like new new friends. So, old and new, whatever. I'm I don't know what I'm trying to say. It just felt really good and I was like, "I'm on a good path." Like sometimes you have to like friend cleanse. It's okay to edit. It's okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> But you feel like a bad person when you're doing it cuz you're like I Why am I sitting in the seat that I get to go? But also like you feel like editing looks like sometimes it will take something like not showing up to like something that they will think is like very important. Like Do you know what I mean? Like missing something to like be like the were things are going to be different with us now. Like this is I don't want to show up for you in this sense. >> Yeah. And you don't show up for them in that sense and you feel like a piece of but it is what you need to do and you know it's what you need to do. >> Yeah. So, the big boy way to have that conversation is to like have the conversation before you just don't show up for them and be like >> Yeah. I I had to I had to do that once and I was like one you just have to eat you you have to like you have to just like own it and be like, "I can't show up for you in this capacity right now. It feels overwhelming and blah blah blah. Like I need some space and, you know, I've had to do it a few times and it's like I just I always want my side of the street to be clean. Mhm. You know what I mean? I don't want to make someone feel bad Right. >> by like my actions. I'd rather have a conversation about it. I like really struggle with confrontation like that. I am like the least I There are certain people in my life that I can like say how I'm feeling to. There's like two or three people, her being one of them. And when I do say it, like we have these great conversations, but I really struggle in other senses. >> like painful. >> It's painful. It really is hard. I would consider my sister-in-law one of my best friends. My issue is that her and my best friend since high school hate each other. My sister-in-law seems to keep her issues to herself for the most part, but my friend can never hold back from telling me how she feels about her. I love them both so much, but it feels so immature. I am over it. What do I do? Whoa. I'm so invested in that. Whoa. Okay, her sister-in-law, so married to her brother. Yes, her her sister-in-law married to her >> friends, but her best friend and her sister-in-law hate each other. >> for like from a while ago. Like have you ever seen that movie You Again? No. Basically, it's about this girl is getting married and her sister-in-law is they've like hated each other since like they were little. And I don't remember how that movie ends or how they get through it, but that's what I'm thinking about while I hear this question. >> >> I feel like the problem is with the friend. Right, cuz the sister-in-law is like all good on my end. >> Yeah. You think >> it easy for her, which is nice and classy because they're in the same family together. Um I feel like you got to talk to your friend and be like, "I love you both. Like I want you both in my life, but you're making this really hard for me. Can you find a way?" And what if she's like, "You don't got to like throw it back >> Me, too. Like what? We need more info. If you're seeing this, DM me with more info. Like I will catch up. >> I need to know. >> date the same person? Like But how is her best friend asking her to choose between basically family now? See, that's crazy. >> Yeah. That to me is super selfish. And I agree with you in the sense that I do feel like it is on the friend. I feel it. It's just like a gut feeling I have where it's like that friend is being selfish and maybe that Oh my god, it's like giving Bridesmaids. Have you seen the movie Bridesmaids? >> Um yeah. You know what I mean? Like that's what it's giving. >> Bridesmaids? >> Like that's what it's giving. It's like she feels maybe she feels like she's losing you. Yeah. And that's and she's holding on to this drama as a way to hold on to you. You can't you don't need to like be best friends with everyone in the group. Right. >> have to be able to be like civil. Civil. I was diagnosed with OCD at 25. Now that I'm getting the help I need to manage my OCD, I find myself feeling resentful towards my parents for not helping me when I was younger. I actually feel the same way. Sorry. They always joked and would say things like, "You're so OCD," but never took it seriously. I was wondering if this is something you experienced and was hoping for some advice based on your journey with OCD. I have really bad OCD, which is why they're asking that. Do you ever struggle with anything like that or My like my Were your parents like like oh like was therapy normal for you and your family or was it taboo? >> Taboo. Okay. And did you ever feel resentful like this person feels or were you like, "That's just how they were." You know? Cuz like >> Of course. I think every kid feels resentful of their parents. I think you can have the best parents in the world and you feel resentful somehow, some way. Yeah. >> Which is just like the the course. You know what I mean? Um I think that you have to take this one, but also I will just say it's it's not in defending the parents, but like that's just the way it was back then. Nobody was having these conversations. There weren't these words to like identify Mhm. Um anxiety and these like conditions and not like so much course of action to like deal with them. And it wasn't normal to put your kids in therapy and it wasn't, you know what I mean? So, I feel a little bad for the parents, but also bad for the kids because they they they need support and they need Honestly, I feel like I sometimes do it with my daughter and I'm like, "Oh my god, Banks. Like you're Like she has she really struggles with her hair and needing her hair to be like perfect." And I have to do it like three times a morning and maybe that's like a little form of OCD. I'm not sure. But I need to like figure out my conversation with her around it because I notice that if we don't acknowledge it, it gets bigger and worse. >> So, that's what happened with me. So, the issue with my OCD was that my dad was very against medication and I needed >> desperately needed it. Like desperately desperately needed it. And I don't have resentment towards that because to him everyone being on Prozac wasn't normal growing up. That wasn't like everyone's not on Prozac. Now it's very normal for everyone to be on like antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds cuz it is very helpful. And it still will still have conversations where he still thinks I shouldn't be on it. >> Well, I think it's hard for that generation to think that there's like actual imbalances in their children's brains. >> 100%. They don't think it's an imbalance. They think it's a problem. And they think it's like he would always be like, "Well, just stop. Just stop. Just stop." Which would obviously lead to me like retreating inwards with it and and it getting worse and worse and worse and worse. And I don't have resentment, but yeah, I do wish that I had been able to get on medication earlier. What I like to remind myself in when I feel moments like that is I try to like remind myself what I'm grateful for in my life right now and know that if I ain't have any of that, I wouldn't be here talking to you right now. Yeah. You know? Like that's what I remind myself. It's just like little things like that. Also, first of all, that was a very sweet thing to say. >> It's true. >> But I also have to say that you and this generation being so forthcoming about their struggles in their life is giving such a comforting space for people that, you know, aren't on TV or aren't they're they're they're they're listening and they're like in the midst of trying to figure out their life and it's it's it's so simple to say, but it's them not feeling alone. You know what I mean? And and even just one generation ago, it was really tough for people to talk about their problems and their imbalances or whatever it may be. So, um I'm really happy that you went through a similar similar struggle as him and, you know, can talk about it. >> Yeah, of course. I think it's like it's I feel like with every generation it gets more open. So, like it was more open than the last, but the last was more open than the one before that and I think like in 10 years we're going to look back at this generation and be like, "It's crazy that we didn't talk about X, Y, and Z." So, I think it's just about like learning and everyone's learning and everyone's I think one thing the phones have been helpful for is like people find these spaces online where they're like, "Oh, this other person's feeling the same way as me." When I had OCD as a kid, the only thing I saw, the first thing I ever saw that I was like, "Oh my god I have that. Do you remember Dr. Drew? Yeah. I select OCD rehab with Dr. Drew on VH1 Oh my god. >> was the only thing I'd ever seen that I was like oh my god that's what I have. And so that was the only way. So I give a lot of grace to like my parents and people cuz no one knew. No one knew like what that was. And now there's online communities and people on TikTok. I learn stuff about OCD on TikTok all the time. So I think as time goes on it'll be better and better and better. But like you know but for your kids that are growing up now like hopefully they're going to be so comfortable speaking about whatever Yeah. >> they feel because the world around them is so comfortable speaking about it which is what I hope at least. Same. Yeah. And it's so good that you're even like you when you're like doing the hair three times and you're like wait like you have that thought. That used to never be a thought. Like when I used to have to like go back and like do things like four times or whatever like my dad would be like what the are you doing? >> Yeah, it's hard because your life is busy and you're as a parent you just have endless things to think about. Like you're you're constantly like thinking about how to get through the day and how to get everybody what they need and where they need to be and all the things. You know what I mean? And then this like bump in the road happens and it's like frustrating but it's got to be even more frustrating for her. Right. That's really like amazing that you recognize that. Like amazing. Like really that's awesome. Before I let you go I do want to talk about your music video which is your first music video in like 10 years. Yeah. What so can you tell us anything about that? The process behind it? What's it like? >> >> Oh my gosh. Um okay. So I worked with an amazing video director. Her name's Lauren Dunn. Um and we had a ton of fun. I mean it was one of those crazy days where you like guerrilla shooting where you're just like oh my god there's not a single minute of the day to break. >> Right. Um but the concept is like quite simple and I think when you listen to the song you'll see the the journey of the two me's meeting I guess you know the the girl who kind of had an an experience and then me now watching her and I don't want to say there's like satire involved. It's really just like storytelling and like meeting meeting yourself where you where you landed and kind of like looking back on an experience and like tying a little bow around it and being like okay. And then there's like butterflies that are big themes in my life since metamorphosis and there's a little sweet butterfly moment in the video which I really love because it's just I feel like being where I am now it's really nice to like send love back to yourself you know that's gone through whatever it's taken you to get wherever you are you know? And um so I like all those little nods and those little like gifts that you can send back to yourself to be like hey like it was cool we got here. That is really beautiful. That is really beautiful. >> you. I mean by the way it's filled with like amazing lighting and glam and dancing and sparkles and all the all the fun things like she did some really cool camera trickery that I don't understand um but you know the concept was was just that and I really loved it. >> But I think the idea of sending love to your younger self is something my therapist tells me all the time and I never listen to her but you saying that just now like really resonated with me. We're all so busy and I think we're all so used to like recovering quickly from anything that happens to us in our lives because life goes by so fast. So to just like nod to it and remember it and like give it a little bit of grace is important and it could be with like the big things or the small things. I'm really excited to see it. Thank you. >> really excited for everyone to hear my cuz it's amazing. And I can't wait to like >> you love it. >> Let's do it on streaming services. Like it's so good. >> >> I'm like playing the beat dropping in my head right now. It's so good. That makes me so happy. Thank you so much. I'm glad you love it. >> I'm sending it to you today so you can just >> Please listen just listen to it. Also obsessed with your little Easter egg moment for your birthday post. Oh. I caught that. I caught that. I caught that. >> Justin did you hear that? He caught that. >> the Easter egg. So Hillary what did we learn today? We learned that I have a cough. We've learned that you have a cough. Um A a tickle in my throat. >> >> Um what did you learn today? I learned on the surface level that pop star Hillary Duff is back and like really really really back and I'm really so excited for everyone to hear the new music and experience what I've been able to experience. And I also learned that talking to you and you being like I don't remember some of this I was 14 like and then you being like do you remember your stuff at 14? It's like oh just because what you were doing was different than me doesn't mean that like we both weren't kids and we both don't have like universal feelings of just like forgetting some that happened when we were 15. Yeah. Like just because your stuff is more immortalized and like like online and in video it doesn't make it any easier to remember and I think that's what I learned today. Oh that's a good one. >> Yeah. You said it nicely. Sometimes I can't quite always figure that out but you said it nicely. >> that's what I was like oh yeah that makes sense that she doesn't remember what that was like. She was 15. I don't remember my day-to-day at 15 at all. Okay I learned today that I love having conversations like this. Really? >> It's so nice to connect. Like I know we met before but we don't really know each other that well. And you're just a gem and it's so like it's so nice to just have a conversation that takes like lots of trails and it's like human connection is what this whole experience is about and so um I loved it. You had a good time. Yeah. I mean when you went to go pee I looked to Louise and I said this has been a dream come true. Like this has been so fun really and truly. I'm I was like so excited to come on. I mean I was so excited to have you. >> >> We have to do it again. I would love to. And >> Anytime you're the cutest. Love you. I'm going to write I love you at Pacha. We're going to have a Pacha day. We have to have a and I'll get the snapper. Snapper. Yep. Well Hillary thank you for coming on the show. >> Anytime. Do you want to give a little bye Bye Thanks for having me. Oh my god you're the You're the season finale. I TOTALLY FORGOT. WHAT? THAT IS AN HONOR. I'm dead. >> This is the season finale. This The finale Yes this is this is it. This what a season this has been. This has been crazy and I can't >> a nice long break? I get like a few a few months off. I think I'm going to take a few months and Good for you. >> do my work on other and >> Wish we could go to Ladoo. Don't seriously I told you I'd pay two million dollars and I meant it and I meant it. You were the most incredible season finale. Like once we came to the conclusion that you were going to be the season finale it was the most it was like a puzzle piece fit and it just has been even more better than I thought it would be and I thought it was going to be amazing. And I love you. So thank you. See you next season >>
Raise Your Voice walked so Hereditary could run... Tell Me What's Wrong at passthatpuss.com Follow Hilary and Pre-Save “mature” out 11/6! https://www.hilaryduff.com/ Follow Me! Instagram | @passthatpuss TikTok | @octopusslover8 Listen to "THERAPUSS" Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1BHDdC0OVuHqZ706FobfOF Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/therapuss-with-jake-shane/id1723626781 Amazon Podcasts: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/93117357-1f23-46e1-8f26-88f5182a68b8/therapuss-with-jake-shane YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@octopusslover8