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"You really take care of yourself in a really good way."
"I believe to be a human being is like the biggest gift."
"If you're not clicking with people, those aren't your people."
The conversation between the host and Lucy Hale is a rich exploration of personal experiences, societal critiques, and the importance of self-awareness. It reinforces the idea that navigating friendships, emotions, and personal growth is a universal journey that resonates with many viewers, particularly fans of Pretty Little Liars. Through humor and vulnerability, they create a relatable dialogue that encourages listeners to reflect on their own lives and relationships.
hi welcome back to therapist I am so excited about today's episode um if you know me you know how much I love Pretty Little Liars I watched it ever since I was a kid and how it made me such a big fan of today's guest Lucy Hill who is is one of the most talented hardworking grounded people I have met she has so much wisdom to share and I'm so happy that she came on here and was able to share it with everyone and I'm really excited for you guys to listen to the episode submit tell me what's wrong to pass thatp us.com if you're feeling fancy leave me a name and a number and I'll give you a call okay enjoy the episode love you hi and welcome back to therus today we have a very very special guest one of my alltime favorite actresses I am the biggest fan ever when I first met her I freaked out we will get into that give a warm welcome to Lucy hail a hi you're so cute I when we saw each other at the gym I was like you and you were like you no I will cuz I was freaking out I was like so Star Struck and I was like no you don't understand me and my friend Claire you're hysterical we send your videos back and forth so I'm a fan as well that really made my day and then we started working out together we were like now we're pilates pilat pilates we're pee pees how do how does your body feel today cuz I'm quite sore I'm sore I don't okay did you start at 8:00 a.m. yesterday you were there no but cuz I was told 8:15 and then I showed up oh no no no we did start at 8:15 oh okay okay yeah but I always get everywhere early 10 10 15 minutes early yeah you are really on top of it you're like one of the first guests to show up like early okay guys Lucy showed up flowers and 10 minutes it's early it's so me to show up annoyingly early to everything my friend annoy I always tell my friends like uh you do you have the friend that always shows up late and then so you you tell them oh dinner's you know dinner's at 8 but dinner's really at 7:45 so you know they're going to show up on time otherwise they show up at 8:15 I'm the opposite okay I'm the opposite so people tell you late times yes yes so I've always been that way I think I get it from my dad I'm like the girl who shows up at the airport 3 hours early yeah but you know what I need the time I need intentional I need slow I need to be prepared do I need to get a coffee at the airport and a water I want to look at the books like do my calls charge my devices you really take care of yourself in a really good way you know what thank you so much for saying that it's been it's been a journey to get to that you really really do I try only because it makes me feel good right it like cuz I feel like I used to do that for other people and I was like I hate everyone I hate you and I felt really resentful but no I love a schedule I love a structure you but like you I have bad qualities and habits though I just like literally name one okay like literally two days ago I get really um very upset by like very minor things it's something I'm working on so I was in the middle of traffic I was at where was I LaBrea like LaBrea and Santa Monica and you know when you're in the middle of um uh across what's it called a intersection and the light you're like oh it's turning yellow I hope I can make it through well I didn't I was stuck halfway through the intersection and it's red and I see the car in front of me and they easily have like four or five feet to pull up so I'm not in the middle of the intersection so I like give a little love tap to be like and I like waved I was like can you didn't move saw me didn't move so I was like let me just beep a little louder beeps a little louder I see her eyes look in the mirror she's looking at me we're looking at each other and I'm like can you move doesn't move so meanwhile I'm like about to get T-boned by all these cars number one cut to same I mean it happened to me once but I'll get after in an Uber I don't drive oh my God so I'm like listening to the story and I'm like this doesn't sound like a bad quality yeah no I'm I'm getting there okay so I'm um you know light turns green I roll down my window and literally said something not nice and like flipped her off so I get really upset like I have like a um impulsive anger quity I like to not cause more chaos in the world so to me that was so to the girl I did that too I'm really sorry I felt bad I felt bad and also yeah I guess I'm like a little impulsive and emotional and irrational what's your star sign I'm a Gemini Moon no no no no no no I'm a Gemini Sun Scorpio Moon uh Leo Rising right we talked about this cuz Scorpio Sun Gemini Moon Gemini rising yes so you like take care of yourself but your Scorpio Moon Scorpio Moon so that's where you're so in touch with yourself right and is that not cuz I think you know a lot more about this cuz you she was telling me before this we were talking about Mercury in retrograde and you were like saying like planets and stuff and I'm like oh my God that is so beyond what I know so I need I don't really know that much but I feel like I like to pretend like I do I know I know the the bare minimum but I like to learn about it and so Mercury retro do you know it's it's actually Mercury retrograde not Mercury in retrograde I've always said in retrograde that's the Mandela effect is it it could be oh my God I could go on a we could go on a deep dark rabbit hole about that it's like but I also believe like parallel realities are happening at the same time I believe in that too I believe in that more than I believe in aliens I really hardcore believe in aliens do you really okay can you like help me like I I struggle with help you believe yes I struggle babes okay okay okay so you do you okay I'm going to I'm not coming at you judgmentally I'm I'm no no no I'm not cuz I'm not judging you I'm going to come at it from a different angle so do you believe that planet Earth is the only place do you believe that our universe is the only Universe okay so so so do you believe there's other planets that could have human like life beings of course but do I believe that they've reached us no you don't I don't have the I I feel like I I have so yeah I I'm so glad you asked so I believe it is my belief so this is what I always do with friends yeah I go so deep so spiritual so philosophical it really annoys people but this is the perfect space to do it this is the perfect space to do it I believe to be a human being is like the biggest gift right like we come here to love to learn to grow to like heal our trauma heal our Karma ancestral trauma yada y y so I believe that aliens like and as humans we have emotion I believe that aliens don't have that I think they're fascinated by human beings okay I think they're but I also think there are different people are going to listen to this and be like Lucy needs to be locked up but like this this actually is my belief like I believe there are light I I I like to call them light beings not aliens um because I do view them as good like I feel like they're trying to help humans I feel like when they make contact which I believe they have and do they might be here amongst us they might be they might be in this room like we we just don't know but I believe they do come here to communicate something to us and or they view us they're fascinated by what we're doing with the planet okay trying to warn us or trying to like study us I don't know is there we should go to Roswell New Mexico that where it goes down you know a lot of alien sightings have shown up where they've tested nuclear bombs this is where they did the nuclear bomb testing so I'm like holy like they're trying to tell us something yeah like please don't blow up the planet right okay that makes more sense okay this is making but tell me why tell me why it's hard for you um I grew up with like a mom that was very um she's Taurus so she was very like matter of fact okay got it and she's like not the biggest conspiracy believer like she's my mom's a journal so she's very she's very into like facts and like this is what I think very literal just very literal not like just like like look like things are how they seem and it's like never that deep so that's just kind of the mindset I grew up with but I think if I watched something I would believe it I just have like I think because in the media people are like aliens are these like green creatures when it's like probably a lot more like scientific than that I think it's like light it's like energy or you know because realistically if they're getting to Earth and they live in another Universe like they're able to travel like that so they're probably not like a tangible although I would love for them to be green like what we see in the cartoons like how cute like that' be fun like ET come on that's like my dream I'd love to stumble upon an alien you would be their best friend up they'd probably be like we're putting her back down I'd be like I'd be like I'm home you be like let's all meditate let's all get places early they'd be like oh what's happening I just I cuz I grew up with a mom who she was very open-minded and loving but a really religious background um and yet I've always like had the mentality of like okay but what's really out there like why are we really here what's really going on from a very young age okay so i' I've always thought what would be the opposite of literal thinking figurative sure right Am I Wrong it sounds we're going to go with that it sounds correct okay so I I've always just thought like outside of the box like I don't really need to see the proof like I it's more of like a feeling the one movie that like really like made me believe in it have you seen arrival I mean one of the best M extraterrestrial movies of all time it makes me like sob and cry and who is it Amy Adams it's Amy Adams but that relationship like it's it's that it's that's the dynamic I'm talking about like they in that movie where they coming to warn or help or just be communicate yeah but then they're like languages like time and it's like sorry spoiler and it's like fascinating and like oh I love it it's so good and then also Interstellar kind of made me that yeah that is that that is the type of stuff that keeps me up at night yeah me too cuz what the is happening what the is happening yeah so that's what how I live my life every day it's like but what really is happening I just like I see you mean about like the parallel universes too like I always think time exists on like a flat plane field as opposed to like linear have you seen the show dark ever it's German would you ever watch a show with subtitles yeah right yeah I just I mean this isn't full well I'm watching Shogun is is subtitles how Shogun it's beautiful only one episode in stunning I'm on episode four baby reindeer oh oh my God oh my God we gotta pivot we gotta pivot okay pop culture okay are you did you finish are you in the middle are you at the beginning I'm at the part the turning point where my God it makes me Si I don't want to spoil anything but um I'm deeply Disturbed I'm so deeply Disturbed does it get it gets worse that's the worst it gets okay whoo cuz I'm scared that's the worst it gets and then the rest of it is him like you're you've it's so interesting that it happens smack in the middle because it's like you are like confused about his actions before and then now his actions make sense I have a question yes okay it's a it's a a two-party question have you ever Ed have you ever have you ever had a stalker or have you lightly stalked someone like Define lightly stocked like like we've all internet stocked yes I've never actually stalked someone but like before a date like yeah look up where they grew up like yeah like I'll look through their Windows no like I I look up there I you just like it's I have to I look up their home house their parents their Zillow but like I've never no I've never like actually stalked someone like in person but like yeah internet stocked for sure okay cool cool cool have you um uh no no no no no no no no I'm trying to think like I I've definitely like pushed it with it's like the thing where you you can't it's like a self-sabotage like I'm like why can't I put my phone down why have I somehow ended up on his ex's like Mom's you know you just like go spiral so yeah like maybe really intense internet stalking but no never in person I mean I have thought like oh I wonder where they go get coffee or like I wonder where they go grocery shopping but I I honestly don't think I've ever yeah no I've never done that okay well goodbye I mean but the end of baby reindeer which I assume you'll finish today or tomorrow um the final scene is seriously like I live for a good needle drop final scene Okay and like it was one of the best okay it like everything comes full circle and you're like oh my go like your jaw hits the floor it's so good Richard Gad is just like really talented too absolutely brilliant and like so amazing do you know it's based off a oneman show no you were telling me this I think it's called monkey see monkey do and it's like episode four is the oneman show that he put on so that what happens in episode four he performed as a onean show and there's videos of it on the internet with the real life Martha laughing no get comfortable oh sorry I was like why did I wear jeans no get comfortable I also like have um I move a lot do you like the Restless do you like that that's aquus you know why I know that cuz that's the last episode of yours I listened to that Alexander named itus did and that's really quick therus and then I don't know what that one is you can name it oh okay I I'll think on it by the end of the I know you'll have something okay okay I do have an extraterrestrial Puss In My Room ETP ETP and then this is pandra pandra which wins the OG penelop but she needs surgery oh no like her tentacle like halfen she comeone I have to like do you nit like you're like I feel like you KN I just feel like you do like you are very at peace with yourself and people who are are at peace with themselves like knit they knit yeah um I actually don't you know I can cross stitch I could like if you had a hole in I could probably patch up penelop penelop I but I'm not um I'm not a Knitter one year my mom got me the the like life-size yarn where you use your arms as the needles have you seen it it's like where you make those big cable knit blankets but you use your arms as the needles uh this was a couple years ago so I can do that I can do that did you enjoy doing that I stayed up until like 4:00 a.m. I'm I'm very stubborn very like I want to get it right I want to get it perfect so um that is a skill I have I'm not that's not how I um relax at the end of the day how do you relax at the end of the day oh boy you know I do like to It's Gonna sound it's going to be like just in line with knitting it's like I like to read you know what I do I I feel like these days I've I've learned to embrace uh my social side a little more I think it's very easy for me to um like be in solitude I actually love it I love to like plan out my next day or like get comfortable with how I'm feeling be with my dogs but but now I feel like it's equal parts connection I think that's important for me but how do I relax I don't know I've been having a lot of trouble relaxing at the end of the long day like what you do ever since um I stopped working like a typical off office job like it's like hard for me to like be like at what point in the day do I relax yeah do you know what I mean cuz like okay like do I write this at night or do I write it during the day or do I create at night or do I create during the day and then all my friends come home at night because that's their time to relax cuz they were office jobs also you might relate to this like I derive so much selfworth by how much I'm doing me too yes like so much to the point where I when I'm not doing doing doing it literally makes me feel like so I feel like sometimes I have to P my day with like I'm the I'm the crazy person that puts in like 8:00 a.m. make breakfast like just so I used to do that 9 the dog crazy but but it but it's so ingrained in who I am so I'm actually trying to undo that because I think what are we doing if we're just like hustling all the time like life is not I know I supposed to be that way I put it in there though cuz like I need it's like the feeling of like clicking something done exactly it's like I need to click okay done feels gratifying but I'm the same way I'm like okay and I and I still am like this every single day like I am really hard on myself when I feel like I haven't accomplished enough and I was just telling you when Mercury's not when Mercury's retrogade when Mercury's retrograde because it's my ruling planet and because Mercury excuse me because uh uh uh Mercury rules communication things get really quiet in my life right and so this last month I've been like should I take up knitting like you know like what am I doing I feel but it but it's really good for me I think when I'm feeling uncomfortable it's like ooh let's take a look at that like why do I feel the need to be so busy um and I also feel like I'm at that point I'm like almost 35 I yeah yeah I'll be 35 in in June wa I I'm not even just saying this I thought you were in your late 20s I love you so much I really thought you were in your late 20s but continue I simultaneously feel 15 and like like 75 at the same time um yeah but I'm almost 35 I've been living out here for 20 years now I forgot what I was talking about Mercury Mercury but but but uh something about you were you were it's very quiet for you and you like why is this making you uncomfortable yeah I've somehow lost my train of thought that's okay well you know what maybe 35 I've lived out here 20 years I'm at this point in my life what was I going to say it clearly was super profound but like you it's really important um it'll come back to me I don't know it'll come back to you wait you moved out here 20 years ago I moved out here with my mom when I was 15 wow yeah for Octan yeah yeah and and I think there was like something I feel like if I would have moved out any later and had been more Jaded by life and life experience I don't know if we would have moved out here because my mom and I were like yeah you know we're going to La Lucy's going to be an actress like not fully realizing I mean you know there's there's so many people out here with a dream and so many people who who are fying for the same jobs and experiences and we just were super naive and like packed up the car and I think it was that like Blind Faith that sent out that like respon here I go again sent out that response to the universe it was like it's G to work out and it did um I literally I didn't graduate uh High School didn't go to college like I just was a little girl who liked the Arts and when did you start really like how long did it take you to start booking stuff out here so I did like a year or two of the Nickelodeon Disney Circuit of like really auditioning for those shows and did Ned's Declassified Drake and Josh Wizards of Waverly Place like things like that and then I booked this NBC pilot which is what like kind of changed everything for me it was called Bionic Woman okay um did a CW Show after that that did one season it was called privileged that show got cancelled and I still remember this day I got a it was either a call or an email it wasn't a text cuz that was so long ago it was like I think it was an email where it was the producers privilege that said we have a a new project we're developing would you read it do you want to be involved and it was Pretty Little Liars yeah yeah I'm not going to harp on it but like you you can harp on it you don't understand what that show meant to me as a kid please tell me like you really don't understand like I there's two trailers I remember seeing growing up one was Hannah Montana of course and one was pretty little liars and I remember thinking oh oh oh has just happened what has just shifted in my life and I remember weirdly enough being so jealous of everyone on the show that they had like a tormented stalker being like this is so cool they don't have to focus on school they can just like focus on Mysteries like oh my God it was the best it's so funny because it's like they never had jobs really no they never had pets which I thought was really interesting yeah the cops were so shitty in that town the worst and so many goodlooking people everyone was hot everyone was so hotone was hooking up with each other and um it was a time thank you that's so sweet it really is my favorite favorite favorite favorite you've seen every episode yeah almost I I think I like I think I you're like I gave up at the end of season six I think I like was like applying to college or something and like never but oh yeah those first five five half season six seasons that was all me oh my God it's so I mean it eventually got like wonky bananas oh a few times a few times because but but the writers jeez Louise it's the matcha um um the writers I was so impressed by them because you know I feel like first season of Pretty Little Liars was so iconic there was nothing I mean I say there was nothing like it like we obviously had Inspirations from other other shows before it but for Our Generation like there was nothing like it and well they're already doing reboots now so it's like that's right now and you know the first SE season was so solid and like we were doing 25 episode Seasons which is like almost unheard of now and so these writers were having to like come up with new ideas recycle ideas like uh and quickly too sometimes we would get our lines the day before W or you know they'd pivot and they change the lines when we're at work because it has to go through a filter of up here all the way down to us um and those writers were just working so hard and I always say like that show I honed my craft on that show I learned the industry on that show I learned every aspect of what it takes to make a TV show from lighting to acting directing costume hair and makeup like really having an appreciation of a well-oiled machine like that and seeing it work and seeing it work for that long like I chills thinking about it that's never happened when I've actually like I I'll have moments I'm like holy crap like that was a phenomenon it to be a part of that like lightning in a bottle is it means even more to me now actually because I don't know maybe I'm just like more at peace in my life and like can actually like hold on to those amazing moments but like I I I love that show I can't say enough about it like we we grew up we spent our 20s on the show like so many ups and downs but I mean and then like hearing the impact it has on people's I just remember um was Mona's reveal season 1 Mona's reveal oh God that must have been season one I need like a flow chart I think it was season one cuz I remember I lived in the suburbs at the time and I ran around my block screaming that it was it was a day a day cuz this was the day that we were going to find out who A was and I'll never forget it I think I think it was season one and also Janelle Parish who played Mona she was so damn good on that show she was I remember I first of all I freaking love J Janelle so much but I remember I was I was like I want I remember I had moments where I was like oh I want to play Mona because Mona got all the amazing like actor actory things right um yeah wow wow what a time what a time what a show well very sweet I mean I'm like literally gonna rewatch it after this but um I literally forgot to ask you is there anything you're I me because you're so happy all the time but is I mean not at peace like you're not like you know I would say happy is like people that are like like you're just like I I I I'll take that because that like balanced feeling you're grounded you're really grounded I try I mean listen I my internal monologue and my inner critic is right she be loud she be loud sometimes and and that that can be a lot but I but I do think I do feel like I I am grounded and I'm not always happy I'm actually like I think people would be surprised to know like I'm actually like quite dark like I have scor uh yeah like there is that like I don't want to say maybe it's depth Darkness maybe but but I am like I I am a eternal optimist I do I like to see life through rose-colored glasses and not in like a ignorant way and like I choose to see the good in people and the good in an experience and like take the lesson I think there's enough like pessimists and negativity around I don't want to be one of them well that being said what was your question what you pissed about okay okay okay okay so here's the thing so channel that uh let me channel channel that uh the let me talk let me talk to the ETS real quick uh no okay therapist okay genuinely nothing today okay okay uh shout out to Laura um we went to the farmers market uh on Sunday and I generally just get really ticked off when people are just rude for no reason or like or in a for a power play or so basically we were in line getting these like delicious gorgeous beautiful berries I like we black blue and and we were in this line and this woman ahead of us talks to these gentlemen who are selling the berries who are working very hard and it's like you this is disgusting you need to tell people not to touch their hands on the berries like I don't know who those people are and meanwhile I'm thinking who do you think picked these berries you don't know who picked these berries it takes hands to pick berries and wash them and wash them like go home put your berries in some baking soda and water and shut up like I just get really mad off when people of when people are just rude for no reason and especially to people who are working really hard it's the same thing with like when people are rude to waiters or the valet right and are very dismissive and like don't treat them like people yeah people at the end of the day we all just want to be seen and be nice it's so easy to be nice and guess what you're going to feel later you're going to feel better about it later that night right it is really easy to be nice it's we're just we we're so quick to like lash out at people and and I'm guilty of it too listen the girl who like cursed at the girl in the middle of the crosswalk the other day like it's so funny you say that though because like in LA that's so foreign but like I grew up in New York like flipping people off and screaming at people that's just part of the culture there yeah but like and then I got here and I did that the other day I was in the car with my best friend Alice and I we this car was pulling in or this car was just being a and like I don't drive and I don't catch on to that stuff but I caught on to this and I flipped him off and I was like oh you shouldn't have done that and I was like why he drove back into the parking lot parked right in front of us and stared run around stared we were like terrified drove out followed us and then we like eventually lost him but like I was like oh I guess I can't do that here know you don't know what people are going through or like what people people are capable of a lot dark dark dark yeah wow wow wow that's like a really nice thing to be therapist about normally mine is pretty like selfish what are you therapist about I was ther pissed about it's okay to be selfish I woke up at like 8 today and like I like I I was late for my workout cuz I woke up so late oroke but like honestly I think it got out about 8:20 and I was like and it just set off my day so poorly and then I sat in the car and my headphones were dead so I just stared like this and I got there finally and then I left and I finally could listen to music but then I had a headache and I was like this is just you know what's going to make you feel better you I give I give unsolicited advice what this is for but I'm like this is the perfect podcast to un I can't wait but I was saying what's going to make you feel better go sit on that bench in your little secret garden literally do you ever take moments out of your day just to like I need to you have your breathing app I know I need to breathe it's really aggressive that sound aggressive it makes me not want to bre makes me not to bre Ang makes me want to hold my breath see I'm stubborn I'd be like you I'm going to hold my breath now you told me to breathe yeah but you should there lovely Garden go I do have a very lovely Garden that I don't use and just like it always makes me feel better the sun does always make me feel better I know I have to live in LA oh I literally never live anywhere else have you ever done a cgra I know we have to get to the questions but this I am I have all ey um okay great uh have you ever heard of cartography no what's that okay so I haven't had it done before but it's I believe it's it's they read your astrological birth chart but it um explains like where your soul is the happiest so like there are different like Lines within the Stars I don't know like your Neptune line and something and and there are different points in the Earth for different purposes so like there I'm willing to bet like maybe for you definitely for me like La is my ground place like where I feel calm but there's also like a point on the earth there's probably people who do this for living listening and they're like she's not explaining it right but but it's my belief there's like other points in the earth like a place where you go to for growth a place you go to like live it up a place you go where you don't feel good so I'm dying to get it done because really curious I would do it with you let's go okay should we go I'm not kidding I would love to do this maybe can we find one today and go next week I like this sounds like Louise that is right up your alley Louise should we all go you've done it yeah my place is Malibu did I did I did I explain it like okay yeah there's like a bunch of different lines there's one for work there's one for like romance do you have a where's my romance or where's your romance I'll have to look this was like two years ago do you do it in LA no oh I bet we could find someone virtual but we're in La we're in La we're in we're in the land of horoscopes and spirituality yes baby all right are you ready I'm ready tell me what's wrong do and you watch the episode so you know you know you know the name of the game yes you're going to get pretty good ADV you're so good at this though you're so quick really quick witted quick mind yeah thank you very smart it takes a really really smart person to be that quick thank you Lucy no I'm serious no I'm serious I know a lot of people who are idiots I'm like are you thinking anything no I think too much I really respect a quick be quick I have to be quick and sometimes I like do this and I like like am I good at this like am I any good at this like why am I doing this but thank you I appreciate that I love a compliment and I feel like that is we all why do we all think that like that we're not supposed to be doing what we're doing yeah or yes it's ridiculous I don't know I don't like it it's weird it's like it's because like people are just ready to eat you alive for example Taylor Swift released her new album yes she did within 24 hours right she released 31 songs Okay 31 one songs that she wrote herself there was going to need to be a week to digest those songs I've had to listen to it three times three times and it's really incredible how many things you miss things I'm discovering but like people have just been like so quick to like eat her alive for it and like if they don't like it off the first listen eat her alive and I think we see I think honestly seeing the way some famous people are treated as to what they do makes you not like think that you're supposed to do what you do I think it's disgusting that we criticize anyone's art I think it's literally disgusting do you know how hard it is to make anything do you know how hard it is to be brave enough to be willing to fail right like the critic thing is so crazy to me because a are they ever happy although her album from like a lot of critics got like five stars like but but you know in in my industry it's so hard for a Critic to like a movie so I've had to like completely try my best and it's really hard to not care about world perception and ultimately be like why am I doing this am I doing this it's either to have fun it's either to learn and grow it's usually for like growth it's usually just because like I love what I do and I want to create if I'm not creating something I feel I feel off yeah which is like this last month when I F felt like edgy it's because it's like I love playing and I love um I just simply put love doing what I do so I just the whole criticizing what people make is so toxic and why are we so quick to C like uh diminish someone's work or people like love to cancel a bright not cancel is not the right word but like something bright and shiny whether it be a a project or a person like because I think a lot of us aspire to that we're so quick to judge it because it's a projection of our own internal so how about we all work on our own and stop making other people feel bad right and it's like I just no I completely agree it it is so weird to like it feels like school like never ends really and like that's like a teacher grad in your assignment 100% you know what I mean and it's like well what's I don't know but I I completely get what you're saying yeah oh my God is this like the most serious podcast you've ever done honestly honestly you'd be surprised really this is like very light-hearted to me okay good cuz sometimes like my um my inner critics like too much do you ever have the thing where you're like oh it's too much or it's not enough I'm too much I'm like no no no but do you ever have the feeling where it's both at the same time I live in that sometimes where I'm like oh it's and I don't know how that is actually possible to feel like you are equal part not all the time in moments obviously like not enough and too much I'm like yeah but what about like SP right in between no I know what you mean like I like I feel like I honestly feel like that's why it's sometimes so I used to do these like skits all the time and um I read like one thing that was like he's doing too much of them and I was like oh and then I haven't been able to do it ever since yeah it's been a month and a half I listened and then and then I'm going to go to the bathroom and then we can start on the questions but I listened to uh the Joey King episode on armchair expert the other day and D did you listen so and Dax was was talking about like whenever he reads something online I'm going to not going to do about the 7-Eleven guy on the parrot he okay so I'm not going to explain this right I'm so mad at this but basically he was saying um he views anyone who's talking saying something negative to him about him online just as if it were someone walking into 7-Eleven with a talking parrot on their shoulder so it's like does that make sense kind of am I explaining it in that right way um and I was like oh it's so true I feel like these very it cuz think about it it really is a small percentage of people who are like the haters it really is but it feels bigger because our minds as humans automatically go there can be a hundred things going right and 99 things going right and we'll focus on the one thing that isn't right like I don't know why that is but cuz I feel like I have dealt with that too until I'm real realizing it's like oh my God Lucy like you have so much love and support around you don't focus on the one person who says like that has nothing to do with you because nothing in life is personal I honestly I truly believe that if someone's a dick to you there's probably so much behind the curtains of their life going on and they're like I'm just going to project that onto everyone in front of me it's so much easier when you when you realize like nothing is personal I and you know what nothing is personal cuz everyone cares about themselves more than care about you EX for the lady at the Farmers Market with the berries that was person that was a personal or the girl in front of you that was so personal that was so personal I that's a great advice nothing is personal I always remember my mom telling me that no one is thinking about you as much as you think about you we're all like internal narcissists yeah we all are it's natural yeah and like yeah yeah I'm going to go pee go pee okay okay you ready I'm so so ready what do you prescribe for someone who doesn't feel super close with any of their friend group nobody makes an effort to hang out and I'm always left feeling like I don't click with them but I don't have a backup group what do I do immediately if you're not clicking with people those aren't your people they're not your people I think say bye-bye say goodbye say too but also I don't know have you ever had to like clean house like your life as a house clean I've been clean oh you've done some housekeeping no like I've someone cleaned a chair in someone's house and put you on the stre and so it felt horrible at the time like I remember it was my senior year of high school but they had their reasons and they were super valid and it was whatever and I was super upset at the time it was like the saddest I've ever been and then I was like well thank God that happened cuz then I was like I wouldn't have made my friends in and now you're a chair in like a really beautiful home that's for you a house that I like I I've been on both ends of it as well but I do think like the last couple years of my life I've God you you have to get so clear on what you want in your life and this relates to this sweet gal was it a girl or a guy it doesn't matter this this person um like the second you you have to put yourself first I don't care what people say put make yourself your number one priority right you have to first and then everything else falls into place because what happens when you put yourself first and you live authentically then the people will come we worry so much about other things outside of us and then yet we still feel empty right but you have to get right here and then the relationships come then the jobs come then every and it'll be the right things and it's the people that stay and I think she's I think she's almost there if she's realizing that she doesn't click with her friend group but and she's saying she's stressed cuz she doesn't have a backup group but what I think people forget when they're in friend groups is that they kind of have these like blind spots and like there's they're so scared of like leaving this group because they're scared that they're going to have no friends but they've had these blinders on for years and then the second they take them off and that doesn't even mean dropping their friend group she doesn't need to like be like Dr so like just you know like open up your eyes a little and see who's around you and you'll probably make better friends and like yeah you might have to make more of an effort because you've been in this round group and like that might be intimidating to some people but I think if you take down the blinders and you just start interacting with the people around you like you'll find someone that you click with absolutely and sometimes it's like it's so uncomfortable to do that and scary and all kind of lonely so it's hard but like I was talking about earlier when you feel uncomfortable it's like a chance to to grow yeah so what do we prescribe I'm thinking really hard right now okay a show I mean do you cuz you usually prescribe a song or a show does it have to be it can literally be anything okay I feel like okay I'm trying to think of like when I was at this I'm like I feel like she needs a little vacation I feel like she need you know when you're feeling like that you need to go somewhere get alone with your thoughts and then you know how to right move forward now you can do something cute and quick cuz you're cute and quick okay I think I'm going to prescribe something about a friend group and she's upset and she doesn't like forgive me if I'm wait hold on I usually always prescribe The Click wait I've never seen this you've never seen the click no oh it's exceptional it's this girl that moves to a new school and she wants so badly to be in this friend group I honestly forget there's one person the click the click but it's about this girl she moves to a new school she wants to be friends with these people and they're in this friend group and it's like very exclusive and yeah it just shows you that friend groups are and all that and then sounds like Mean Girls I always prescribe Mean Girls too but I honestly think I honestly think Pretty Little Liars is a great prescription because you have this friend group but each character has their own lives and they're able to go back to their friend group cuz like you all have this like Shar experience of a stalker yes but then you also all have your own lives Emily has her own friends Hannah has her own friends Arya has her own friends had one friend her teacher I'm like AR you I don't I feel like but yeah yes I know what you're saying oh my God I thought my Zipper was undone wor we we're we're good okay would you no you would I trust you you would I would but yeah that's what I prescribe I prescribe Pretty Little Liars I honestly think for as unhealthy of the dynamic they lived was was they were pretty solid friends to each other and they pretty much knew how to navigate life with friendships that was the that was the foundation of the show was the the female friendship yeah do you think they're okay I feel like they all have PTSD oh major PTSD what do you think they're up to well talking about knitting like I feel like Arya is like probably knitting and she's probably I feel like she's really codependent with Ezra I think traumatized I think but in a way that she's become like a recluse yes maybe and I feel like she is just I feel like Ezra is maybe living a big a big life and she she's like um in meshed with his life is that okay to say I maybe she's doing great well it's the truth that's what I that's you played her I do know in the spin-off there was that there that the film there was talk that we had had a kid and we're putting it up for adoption but Bailey Madison is a really good friend of mine and she's she was the one no she was having a baby and AR and Ezra were going to adopt the baby yeah it was something like that I remember there was some talk of Arya and Ezra but I think that's a great I think 100% that's what Arya is up to tell me if you think I'm wrong I think Hannah is like so in denial and like trying to repress it 100% and she's like partying and like living in the city and doing drugs and I think Spencer's a professor 100 yes yes and I think I don't know what the Emily is up to I feel like Emily is like a world Traveler like living a she deleted social media I feel like she's probably the the healthiest of she's in touch with her past yeah yeah definitely oh my god this is my child the dream come true yeah that's where I think they're up to oh my God I love it I love it you heard it here first that is what arya's up to arya's arya's Unwell arya's not well she she was never well though they never none of them really none of them were ever well I can't stop ghosting my therapist SL making up excuses to not go to our sessions and this is such perfect timing because my therapist called me at 11: today and I skipped dude okay I can't believe that question so I I have actually taken a step back from my therapist really yeah but in a in a way that like she was really proud of me in a way where um it's important to like take notice of when you're when it when it's not making you feel good right CU I think there's a difference in like speaking about your we have to acknowledge how we feel but there is a point where you can like plateau and there is a point where it's not helping you anymore so I mean I prescribe honesty I prescribe transparency you have to like just rip the Band-Aid off and like if your therapist is not happy for you then like you need to run for the hills like your therapist should want to be happy to see you like move on and grow I I also I have a ghosting problem with my current oh you do like like you ghost people Jak I know oh my God we need to unpack this I know it's really bad I don't know how to tell people no like oh you you're a people pleaser yeah I'm the biggest people pleaser and I'm like well why would I like I just get so uncomfortable and I know and then I'm like would they rather get a paragraph from me about why I can't do this anymore or like yeah would they rather just like I don't know or because I'm a fellow PP as well people pleas her um I CU what I'll do is like I can say no now but I'll give like a million reasons why I need to say no instead of just being like no I'm not interested in you right or no I don't want to go to dinner like that's a good enough answer and how people handle it that's their problem agree that is so true I mean that's just taking care of yourself but I think my issue with therapy is that I am so self-aware that it makes me uncomfortable to talk about sometimes yeah like I I know everything like you know I I like I know about myself like I know what's good and like sometimes she'll how but like she'll I always like plan these sessions and then I'm always on the way to something I'm like I'm not going to call you in the car and I'm not and then I just I feel I always like get this paranoid feeling that like someone is listening or something like I feel so uncomfortable and I think that's in part postco like with like this Tech stuff cuz like therapy it was so important to do it in person yeah but it's difficult for me to do in person like I have to kind of just do it over the phone and like I don't know I need to I do talk to her once a week it's we're scheduled for twice a week and I always miss one once a week is very good I know yeah but I think I prescribe to this girl some honesty as well honesty honesty just telling your therapist like maybe like once every two weeks or or like maybe you're just not vibing with the therapist you could also there's I do other therapists I've ghosted therapists like hardcore like I don't ghost PE like I no like therapists are people I don't ghost like relationships and stuff I ghost because I've never had one but I ghost um so maybe I will but I G therapists like a lot like if I'm done how many how many therapists you have in the past three years yeah four okay okay that's aggressive yeah four what if there was like a date not a dating app like an app for therapists where you could I really like my one right now yeah I love her you love her okay she's here to stay she's here to stay she knows me I'm comfortable talking about like sex and like how I feel about my body and like is such a specific relationship you know like I I don't feel like judged when I like cuz sometimes like like the my other therapist that I had before this was Tik Tok famous and I didn't know until like that mean like she was I'll show you oh no she had like millions of followers for being a therapist for being a therapist and I was like this just isn't going to work for me oh no this isn't going to work oh that's so interesting because was she talking about her patients just not using their name no I honestly didn't go through it I just knew that like for something that like I my a lot of my anxiety derives from that app I can't also have a therapist that is on it you your anxiety derives from Tik Tok this is exactly why I don't have it yeah how did I don't know how I've managed to not but but I think it was because I'm also hold are you I'm 24 yeah so I'm 11 oh my God I'm 11 years older than holy oh my God I'm almost literally in my mid-30s what is going on that's alens beat me up take me away no I'm kidding I love my 30s but I think I I made I'm I'm older than you so I think if even I were three years younger you just that's all you know right like there wasn't an option not to have one but I knew I was like I social media is really tricky for me like it's it's the sureel way to get me to like feel bad about myself or that I'm not doing enough and so I don't I feel like most people maybe feel that way no they do but mine was a weird anxiety cuz it was like that used to be my anxiety and then Tik Tok became kind of like my career right and then I was like oh my God uh now I'm really stressed out cuz like my entire career is in the hands of whether people like think I'm annoying or want to watch me or like oh my gosh it's so nuanced and and layered I yeah and it's like and it's just privileged thing to say like I'm so grateful that I can do it as a career and I'm so happy it's like I love it when it hits it hits and like when I make people laugh I there's no greater feeling but um yeah like right now I'm like in this like kind of rut creatively and like it's just like been hard yeah yeah I relate it's okay I think like being in a rat it it's time to I've been writing a lot yeah exactly you're taking time to figure out what you want to do I've been writing a lot a lot and I've been watching a lot brilliant I like actually can't wait to see all the things you're going to do stop I mean there's so many people that that I meet where I'm like oh yeah like you're genuinely like you're so funny like I said you're very smart I hope you give yourself that credit thank you I I I give myself a decent amount of credit but I'm brilliant I know but not not not for the smartness the smartness I'm like I think I I think I'm just pretending cuz I like like I don't really know it's funny that all my skits came from like historical stuff because I didn't I didn't really know anything about history I just I took the sentence and like ran with that I'm in love with a man who has a girlfriend but texts me and entertains my messages on the side I just know he's in love with me but he's still with his girlfriend how do we proceed leave him he's never going to leave her for you we all know this story they're not ever going to leave you for to be with you ever it's it's just Tail as old as time right and even if they do do you want someone do you want someone who's being unfaithful yeah uh I personally don't right that's that's a them issue so I prescribe delete the number literally delete the number like I've had to do that where something psychologically happens where I will delete every tangible thing about them yeah and when you delete the contact like something happens like you're like I'm free I also think just deleting the contact and honestly ghosting ghost this is when it's okay to ghost I don't think she should be like well this is why I'm ghosting you because that he sounds like such a gaslighter already and like he'll just be like well no don't don't and then you'll stay like I think ghost clean cut he that he will stay Tethered to you forever you'll look back a year from now and be like what have I done so I prescribe I lik you said I prescribe ghosting I prescribe ghosting I also prescribe you know the movie um is it the holiday with Cameron Diaz yes and isn't Kate winlet like in love with this guy and he has a girlfriend and yeah you know what just cut it off so I prescribed the holiday the holiday and ghosting I love that that's really healthy of us I feel a nice balance yeah I was so in love with a guy we were together for four years he did little things like get me flowers and surprises for no reason my best friend never really liked him and I and kept telling me we should break up on our fourth anniversary I found out they had been hooking up for a year and she was pregnant help I don't know what to do with my life isn't that crazy that like made me tear up no and I'm about to give some really mean advice like I think she should smear the out of them really like give me give me an example like full gnarly like you tell every single person that will literally has ears what they've done if they can't hear you sign it like you tell every single person what they've done and you man just make sure that like if you guys want to be happy you be happy with no one else that's how bitter and angry I would be oh my God I just like can't even I'm trying to like put myself in that head space like you know I've definitely been hurt and betrayed but not on that level and I've also done things in that way so I know how it feels on both ends right not that I slept with my friend but I'm like did I no I'm just kidding I did not I definitely did not but of course I'm like okay what what would I really prescribe honestly I think when when life throws you something that like catastrophic right like the girl who sents it in like her life is about to like become so magical I cuz I truly believe when something that painful it's like clearly happening for a reason so this sounds so cheesy but like run towards what's like hurting you because I believe that like there is a lesson in that so I'm not going to prescribe Revenge because I personally think like I'm I I personally think like do whatever you need to do like go to a wck room or a rage room or like you know be angry be pissed like do whatever you need to do cuz I think like don't repress the anger but like the best revenge in the world is is like thriving and knowing you look amazing and knowing you've handled yourself with Grace and kindness even when people don't deserve it yeah that is the best feel in the world I had a situation uh about a year ago where there were two ways I could have handled it yeah really really badly yeah where would my internal was like Lucy do it say it say the truth yell it call him the names like do that or there was the more Gentle Way which I took and it took so much patience and kindness and understanding and knowing I took that route knowing I have nothing to be shameful of and regretful of oh I know I couldn't have handled it in a better way so honestly like yes like god it feels so good to to yell and scream and there is a way to do that without actually inflicting pain on them so I would say I prescribe all of that yeah honestly I take back my revenge that sounds a lot like happier there is but there is a way to to to still have that feeling of Revenge cuz I think we need that as humans to be like you right and I want you to know that say you like like I we need that like gratifying feeling but how do you do that in a healthy way uh it kind of goes away cuz I I felt that for like a year I wanted to just like let this person know like you hurt me and I want you to know how bad you hurt me but now I don't feel that anymore and I think that that went away because of the way I handled it right so I prescribed being the bigger person but also like go literally go to a rage room have you ever been to one do you know what it is yeah it's when you throw at stuff right yes Arya did that in an episode by the way I remember so I literally got to what was the reason for that again I don't know I mean she was mad at Ezra I feel like she was always she was always she's always mad at him yeah um we should go to a raid room I would love to go to a raid room with you you know what I prescribe have you ever seen Yellow Jackets mhm I prescribe that show is crazy I prescribe yellow jackets because the main character I forget who play I forget the name honestly cuz I haven't it's been off seon for so long but she gets pregnant with her best friend's boyfriend's kid and she told her best friend like she hated him see how do you come up with this stuff so I watch a lot of TV so quickly I watch a lot of TV wow that suck like I'm just well blessings to you dear dear dear woman and um you're better off honestly speaking of TV do you care if we play a game really quickly you I think I told you about this in Pilates is this the a one you guys this came to me in like a dream and I was like oh I'm playing this game okay so my the game is are these real messages from a or did I just lie for fun going to be so mad at this no you actually I think you'll get the okay ready uhhuh sorry about losing my temper my bad real or fake a text from a yeah sorry about losing my temper my bad that's a lie it's real okay it's real it's a real text and she sent it in all caps a sent this to who do you know um no no I don't remember I don't I can point blank tell you I don't remember that one okay okay give me the killer or I'll use your eggs that's real that's real that's real because who who harvested their eggs I think it was I think it was Emily I think it was Emily yeah yeah A is for Allison not acid that's fake that's fake M I heard you're gay I I feel like that might be real it's fake it's fake but I feel like a was taunting her about her sexuality I based these off of real ones and it was like a time where it wasn't really talked about in TV in that way okay I was like that's so direct but it could be true okay this one's a tricky one you're as in the dark as Jenna looking for me in all the wrong places Jenna's blind real real real yeah this one's kind of okay be careful Hannah I hear prison food makes you fat that's so real it's real that was an iconic one that's an iconic one okay ready yeah she might not see but she surely can hear did you see Jenna real fake hey oink oink no that's real that's real that's real he's like what's going on I'm going to put you to sleep in her grave M nighty night I love the uh real fake fake it's so fake fake and then the final one give me your best oh wait no there's two more okay got it I guess I forgot my meds this morning but I haven't forgotten what you is dead you think that's fake it's fake okay I was like who is on meds no well Spencer when she was addicted to ader oh true facts okay I'm still here and I know everything y real real so real that was fun oh my God that was fun well that was really a delight I'm happy I was able to trick you on AO yeah that was good that was good what did we learn today cuzz I've learned a lot I've learned I've learned a lot I've learned that aliens are real I've learned that aliens are real Mercury retrograde mer Mercury retrograde cartography yes I've learned about cartography um that sometimes Revenge isn't the best option um and what else do we need to know today I mean that your inner peace is more important than ruining someone else's I believe so yeah I we'll leave it at that I I agree you're you're a little angel I love you so much I love you this is so F thank you will you say bye to the bye bye bye oh oh oh oh oh yeah what are you naming um okay puss puss p p p what if pami oh that was so good but he's blue so it doesn't really make sense he's Pastrami pami pamam and you've named him pami yay y hi put your tents up put your tents up T up SM cookie a
Pretty Little Liar’s Lucy Hale stops by the Therapuss office to, for once, provide Jake with the advice and know-how that’ll get him through the week… Tell Me What's Wrong at passthatpuss.com Follow Me! Instagram | @passthatpuss TikTok | @octopusslover8 Follow Lucy! @lucyhale Listen to "THERAPUSS" Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1BHDdC0OVuHqZ706FobfOF Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/therapuss-with-jake-shane/id1723626781 Amazon Podcasts: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/93117357-1f23-46e1-8f26-88f5182a68b8/therapuss-with-jake-shane YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@octopusslover8