Unlock the secrets of success in your life with Dr. Jamone Glenn. >> >> As your personal leadership coach, he'll propel you beyond limits, guiding you to pursue greatness. Gain access to the kingdom keys and insights to ignite wisdom in your life each week on Wisdom Wednesday. >> >> Good evening. I got a guest. >> Hey everybody. >> Look what we didn't did. Look what the Lord has done. How y'all doing tonight? Welcome to Wisdom Wednesday. We are so excited. I got a great series for us this August. Welcome to August, the eighth month >> Yeah. >> of the year. >> I love it. >> We're going to get into it this month. This August series is wisdom for every relationship. Now, don't go nowhere if you're not married, okay? Because this is not just about married people. This is single people, dating people, married people, people with your kids, with your family, like >> friends. >> We're going to talk about the wisdom for every relationship >> Yeah. >> to do it God's way. And so, we want you to tag somebody, join them, tell them to join us so we can lock into this series. But, y'all know how we do. Speak to me when you come in. Let me know where you coming in from all over the world. Talk to me. Talk to us in the chat. Say what's up to somebody else cuz tonight we going to get into it. We're going to talk about the wisdom >> of becoming. >> Right? The wisdom of becoming. Wisdom of relationship, but tonight is the wisdom of becoming. Before you find the right person, want the right person, we got to become >> the right person. >> That's the work, right? Because a lot of times, man, we want what we not. >> Okay. >> That's a whole 'nother Yeah, we going to come back to that. We going to get into that. We want to rescue, right? And what we need to be is what it is that we're after. If you're watching this on Instagram, which a lot of you are, you might want to head over to YouTube so you can get a better experience. Right now, she halfway, I'm halfway. I mean, you could see us, but you can't really see us. You know what I'm saying? So, let us know where you're joining in in the comments so we can know what's happening. If this is your first time joining us, we want to say welcome to Wisdom Wednesday and say what's up when you come in. Share this. Spread the message. Say something. Sow something. Is your opportunity to do so. I want to say thank you to everybody that sow something all the time every single week to help keep this going this ministry. Bless you. You want to know where this lives? It lives on the YouTube channel. That's where you can subscribe so you get a ding and you never miss when we do what? When we go live, right? When we go live. So, I want to make sure that you're saying something when you come in here so that we can stay locked in. Man, I see it. We can stay locked in on all the things. All right? Y'all ready to get ready to get into it? Our foundational scripture, Proverbs 4 and 7, James 1 and 5, is the basis of Wisdom Wednesday. Proverbs 4 and 7 says, "Wisdom is the principal thing. It's the main thing, right? Therefore, get wisdom and in all your getting get an understanding." Then we go to James, the New Testament, it says, "If any of you you meet us lack wisdom, all we got to do is ask God. God will give it to us generously, graciously, without fail." Every week, if this is your first time here or not, what we always do is we pray a simple prayer and we say, "God, give us wisdom." That's the simple prayer. God, give us wisdom. Not just me, us wisdom, collective wisdom so So can tap into the wisdom of God for every relationship tonight. All right, so say something to us. Let us know so we know that you hear and that you locked in. Man, y'all blowing up the chat and I appreciate it and we ready to get into it. Y'all ready to go? Have you ever noticed that most people spend more time looking for the right person than becoming the right person? >> Jesus. Jesus. >> That's how That's how we going That's how we going to kick it off. >> That's how we going to kick it off. >> More people spend more time looking for the right person than becoming the right person. It always feels like it's easier to look out to to know what you want to have your what you used to have your list. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, to have your journal, to have your list. >> What I want. >> Your wish list, your want list and I think that that's all good because that's like your standards. That's like what you want, what you desire, but how much effort do we put equal effort in becoming a match or >> what we are >> for what you're looking for? >> Yeah. That's, you know, that's kind of low. Cuz I don't really hear a lot of people talking about what I'm doing to become the person that I want to attract, but they're looking more on what kind of person do I need for me. So I always look at it as that's the whole rescue thing which is not >> going to get them. >> Come get me. >> Yeah, versus what you have become and I I always say that you can only attract on the level that you have become. Right? Because you can't want somebody with a 800 credit score and you got a 400 credit score. I mean, you can want them, but will they want you back? You got to do the work of building your own desires, of building the weight of what you want. The weight w e i g h t. Got to build the weight of what you want while you're waiting for what you want w a i t, right? So while I'm waiting for what I want, I'm building the weight of what I want. So tonight, this isn't about just what you want. This is about becoming the person that God created you to be because every healthy relationship begins long before the relationship begins. Did you get what I said? Man, we need Lisa tonight. You hear me? Every relationship begins before the relationship begins. >> Right. >> You got to have the relationship with yourself. Oh, she's here. I'm sorry, Lisa. My bad. You got to have the relationship with yourself. You got to have the relationship with God. You got to have the relationship with your family. >> Okay. >> Uh all of these relationships are training. >> Yeah, they're training grounds for you to become the person that you desire and more more importantly the person that God has created you to be. >> Yeah, and that is so essential uh because then we become a magnet or we attract on the level that we're looking for. So throughout the month of August, we're going to be talking about wisdom for every relationship. >> good. >> Not just your, you know, your relational relationships, right? So whether you're >> Your boo thang. >> So whether you're single, whether you're I was trying to figure out how to say it appropriately. >> Okay, I know. >> So whether you're single, whether you're dating, whether you're engaged, whether you're married, whether you're healing. >> Come on. >> Cuz some people don't talk about the healing space, right? Healing from a a broken relationship or whether you are rebuilding. You want to make sure that you can connect. Hey, matter of fact, let me ask you, where are you? Are you married? Are you dating? Are you single? Are you healing? Are you rebuilding? Are you waiting? What space are you in? Put it in the chat. Drop it in the chat so we can we can know our audience tonight. Who are we talking to? Are you married? Are you engaged? Are you dating? Are you healing? Are you rebuilding? Are you waiting? Because waiting is a decision also. Some people think that they are waiting by default. >> Default, cuz you don't have nobody that's interested in you. >> Right. But but but waiting is a real choice that you say, you know, I'm not in the space where I really want to selfless and myself to somebody else. I'm in a waiting space and I'm choosing to wait that even if somebody come and ask me out on a date, I'm not sure. >> Thank you very much but I'm waiting. >> Wait. And I don't know how many people really do that. But man, the chat blowing up, babe. We got dating, engaged, we got rebuilding, we got single and happy. Okay. >> Okay. >> We got single and healing, we got married, we got teach us how to be happily single, got you, no problem. We got them single, we got them married, we got them engaged. Come on, congratulations. We got them in the healing space and the waiting space. We got them married. All right, that's a good one. All right. And so so we're we're we're learning, we're growing and and this is the healthy space. So I feel like we're right on track. >> Yeah, let's go. >> I feel like that that literally God dropped this in my heart and my on my heart and my spirit. I text my wife. I was like, "Yo, you want to be a part of this session?" She said, "Sure." Just like that. And so here we are. So we going to jump into it because we got all the right people in the room tonight. And I want to make sure that we get to it. So God has wisdom for every relationships, every relationship that he has for us. And so in every season of relationships, we have to understand the season that we are in. All right? If you desire to be married, and that's not everybody, but if you desire to be married, a foundational scripture that we often read and grow from is in the book of Proverbs. Proverbs 18:28 makes a statement. He, come on here cuz I know that Wait a minute. I mean, you almost got to pause right there in the Bible cuz he said >> he cuz it's a whole bunch of stuff happening right now. >> in this world that says he she that finds a he like she she she not always waiting for he no more to find >> No. >> who she wants. She like asking him. But anyway, the Bible said he that finds a wife. >> Okay. Which means it's his pursuit. >> And he's recognizing >> I hear some of the ladies they're like, well, when he need to hurry up and find me cuz where he at, right? He who finds a wife and why he can't find me. And that's a very interesting thing I think I'm going to ask my wife to unpack a little bit later cuz she was talking up She was talking about a book that she was reading and she was understanding that every man is not that he doesn't want to be in a relationship. It's just that he's not ready >> Ready. >> to be in a relationship and sometimes he gets forced ready. Let's get back to the Bible. We're good. >> Would you >> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Proverbs 18:22. He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. This scripture has so much to unpack. >> >> Proverbs 18:22. He who finds a wife, which means God's not finding it for you guys. Help God will help you find it, man of God. >> Okay. >> But it is your responsibility to find her. When you find her, she is a wife. >> Mhm. >> Which means she is not just a woman. She is behaving, acting as a wife, not giving you wife >> Go ahead. Privileges, okay? >> Okay. She not wifey. >> But she >> She's showing you It's an appetizer. >> She can show you that, you know. >> an entree. >> It's a little bit of what you might get >> if you come on and put a ring on it. Okay. >> So, he who finds a wife, a wife, right? A wife. >> One. >> finds >> Uno. >> a good thing, which means that when he finds you, you are good. >> You good. >> You good. You in a good place. >> Okay, you like >> space. >> You know how good restaurants are. You know how good food food is. Are you good? >> You good. You already good, right? When he finds you >> You already as good as you as good >> Good. >> A good thing. I mean thing. And here obtain favor from the Lord. You become the favor. You already got favor, right? So, you got favor, but then she give you favor on top of favor. So, the question is for the man who's looking for a wife. And the question for the woman who is trying to be a wife is are you good? >> Mhm. >> Are you favor? >> Mhm. Mhm. >> And can you be found? >> Okay. Because certain things won't even come to a man until he gets married. Cuz that's I know, but but there's certain things, sir, that's not going to even come to you because there's no reason for you to have some of those things because a wife is necessary. She's favor. And God's going That's a whole another >> A wife is good. And a wife is favor. Some of these guys out here telling me that they can't find a good >> Mhm. >> who's good. When they find her, she want this, she want that, she want this, she want that. She want this, she want that, and that. >> But that ain't a wife. >> They're looking for her and they she's trying to position herself like a wife, but she not good. She not already good. And then, is she favor? >> No. >> Or is she frustration? >> Mhm. >> Huh? Because if she's favor from the Lord, then she 10 times Here it is. We digress, but Proverbs 18:22 has a lot to unpack. >> Okay. >> Let's get into it, babe, cuz we only have 15 more minutes. >> 15 more minutes. >> All right. God is more interested in who you are becoming than simply who you're becoming it with. Did you hear what I said? God is more interested in who you are becoming more than who you're becoming it with. So, there is a huge responsibility on personal development. Man seeking he who's finding you looking you seeking you in the proper position and place. And you become who you need to be so she can become who she need to be so when y'all come together >> It's a whole person and a whole person coming together. Not a half and a half to make a quote-unquote whole. It's not. >> That's right. So, listen. Here's point number one. Wisdom seekers, I know that was the intro. Wisdom seekers look for character before chemistry. Come on. Wisdom seekers look for character before chemistry. That goes both ways. Man of God, be a man of character, a man of integrity, a man of faith, a man of God. >> Come on. >> Look for character before you look for chemistry. I'm not saying chemistry don't count. >> It does. >> Cuz it do. I'm not saying chemistry don't matter cuz it do. But, look for character. Wisdom Wisdom seekers look for character before they look for chemistry. Solomon doesn't say he who finds a woman, he says he who finds a wife. And a wife is a characteristic. A wife is one of the roles that a woman plays. When you think about a movie, she's a character. >> That's good. >> No, I can't get into that. I'm just saying though. You know what I'm saying? She's a character. She's playing the main role and she is a woman. She is a mother. She is a professional woman. She is a business woman. She is made in image and likeness of God. She is powerful. But then when she decides that she wants to play the character of a wife. He got it. She got to look like a wife before he wife her. So that means wisdom recognizes identity. It recognizes character. It recognizes readiness. Not just attraction. Yes, attraction is important, but attracted for the assignment. I You got to be in your single season. You become more attractive for your assignment. So the more I fall in love with the assignment of God for my life, who God created me to be, who I am, then the easier you could be found. Because if I come in a room and I'm looking for soft, sweet, strong, beautiful, smell good, look good, taking care of, honest, report, good career, job, educated, money. I don't know. Whatever I'm looking for, if I come looking for it, I can't find what I'm looking for unless I see it because it's being displayed in your character separate from any other space. We good? So when you think about that, the greatest preparation for a healthy relationship is your own personal transformation. >> What you do for yourself. >> That's right. The The greatest preparation for a healthy relationship. I know y'all taking notes and you know I know y'all going to run this back and watch it again. But the greatest preparation for a healthy relationship is personal transformation. Personal transformation. I was, now I am. I've been working on me. I've been developing. I've been growing. I've been grooming. I've been learning. I've been submitting. I've been in the gym. I've been eating right. I've been thinking right, I've been paying down my debt so I don't come into a relationship with a bunch of stuff. >> Come on. >> That's going to pull me down. I got to build my character. If I'm looking for if I'm he that finds then I got to be ready to take care of what I find when I find what I find. >> Okay, sir. >> Huh? Cuz the greatest preparation of a healthy relationship is personal transformation. So you don't prepare for a wedding for a marriage by preparing by planning a wedding. Woo! >> Ready to go. >> You do not and I know I know you got the book. I know you got the book with all the scraps and all the Pinterest and all the >> They got a Pinterest board. >> all the things. >> the bridesmaids picked. >> Beautiful. I get it. No problem but you don't prepare for a marriage by planning a wedding. >> no. >> You prepare for a marriage by personal transformation. >> Becoming. I prepare for marriage personal transformation. I prepare for marriage by developing wisdom. >> Yeah. >> So So my question is for everybody that's not married, what are you becoming while you're waiting? >> Mhm. >> What are you becoming while you're waiting? Okay? We all come with a little bit of some We all kind of a little bit of baggage, a little bit of this, a little bit of that but I want to minimize the weight. I want to minimize the weight, w e i >> Yeah, love it. >> the luggage that I'm carrying when I'm coming into this relationship because it can just be too much. What are you becoming while you're waiting? Because whatever you are practicing now is what you're going to carry into your future. You're not going to just all of a sudden get married, be in a relationship and then poof, it's all over. It don't work >> that. >> like that. We wish it did. >> Okay. >> And then people spend their marriage um they spend their marriage not being married, they spend their marriage, unpacking the baggage that they carry from another relationship or their own self or their own stuff. >> Right. They want God to do a miracle. >> Do it, Lord. I SAID, "YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING THAT WHILE YOU were by yourself. Huh? Instead of being Instead of working on you, you were waiting for somebody to find you or you were looking for somebody to be with instead of learning how to be with yourself. If you don't love being with you, why would somebody else love to be with you? Huh? >> Mhm. >> God is working on our character. Babe, it's your turn. From a woman's perspective, that's number one. From a woman's perspective, what does becoming look like? What's the second thing wisdom seekers do? >> So, wisdom seekers understand that character sustains what chemistry starts, right? >> Say it again. >> They understand that character sustains what chemistry starts. Because you can get in the room, you heard that saying, you can get in the room, but it's your character that's going to keep you in the room. So, you can get this you can you know, you can have the lipstick and the the the nice little shapewear and the BBL and all that kind of stuff, but when it's all over and said and done, honey, the only thing that's really going to resonate more than anything is your character. >> Chemistry might get his attention. >> his attention, but the character is going to keep him It's going to keep him. So, that cuz if he get if if you get if you if he got attention because of you, it's a whole bunch of other attention getters. Well, who is the Who is the person that's going to keep his attention? And what's keeping his attention is your character. The woman that he cannot live without. Right? The woman that he cannot live without. So, there's certain things that you have to do in order to make sure that your character is sustainable. And first of all, not only is it sustainable, but is it even there? >> Yeah. >> Is it Is it a vapor or is it something that you are curating within yourself, right? So, chemistry may introduce you, but character is what keeps you, right? >> Marriage doesn't just create character. >> Uh-huh. >> Marriage reveals the character that is there. >> That's right. >> So, even if >> true. >> Right. So, even if you are Even if you're married, don't click off. This is I'm still We're still talking to you. >> Yeah. >> Because character is something that that continues to happen with you and through you all the days of your life when you're on this earth. You need the character of God in order to sustain your life and to be the person that God has created you to be, to understand your purpose, and to operate in that. Because a wife is only a title. >> Mhm. >> It's not the only title, but it's only a title. It is an assignment, and there's still other assignments that you have to live out. And so, your character is what sustains you in all of those spaces and places and in those relationships. >> say, um marriage is a mirror, right? It doesn't rescue you, it reveals. >> It reveals. >> Type that down. Marriage is a mirror. It does not rescue you, it reveals you. So, when you come and stand as your character in front of that other person, that chemistry is good, but man, character How many of you can be honest that character have turned off chemistry? That you were attracted to somebody that they >> them. >> They opened up their mouth or they did something or said something, and then poof, CHEMISTRY WAS GONE. Because marriage don't Marriage does not rescue you, it reveals. >> reveals you. >> Go ahead, babe. >> All right. So, what exactly are we talking about in regards to character? So, with character, we have to understand that we have to to to a place of healing. We have to understand that um some things, some character traits that need to be refined or whatever happens when we properly heal. When we properly identify what is it right when we properly identify that there's some things in my life that just doesn't really reflect the person that I want to portray. I personally had that when we first got when we was like courting each other, I needed to do some healing and he was like, you know what? Hey, you showing me two different people and I need to know which girl am I really getting? Yeah, which girl am I really getting? And I was like, excuse me, but then I thought about it, I need to get myself together because the person that I was really revealing to him, I had to be honest and transparent. It was like this looks like another relationship and so let me put my wall up. I'm trying to protect myself and then he had to say to me, I'm not that person. This is not what I'm going to do and I had to learn that I I was making him pay for something that he never did, but that was my own healing process that I needed to go through, right? So then the next one is identity. Understanding who you are in God. Understanding that you are the daughter of God, that you are loved, you are chosen. Where is your or son? Yeah. Exactly. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Well, you said for me to talk to the to the women, right? So So in that when you know who you are in God, you're not thirsty. Because thirsty causes you to have somebody else to to validate your identity. And the only person who needs to validate your identity is God. Take that pressure off of another person. That I don't care how many compliments, I don't care how many gifts, I don't care how much sex, it doesn't matter. If you are not healed, if you don't know who you are in God, you're going to make this person try to pay for your identity, which only comes from the validation and the sealedness of God himself, right? Even in a marriage relationship, quit making your spouse be the biggest cheerleader in the world. Like some They don't have that energy. They don't have all of those things. Only God There's some things that only God can do. And you've got to be healed enough and understand that you are lacking identity so that you can be the best person in this relationship. That is becoming. That is becoming the better version of yourself and it always starts with with your relationship with God. So, wholeness Wholeness is understanding your identity and being healed. Because when all of those things happen, you are a whole person. You are becoming a whole person, so you start attracting a whole person because you're not looking for a person to make you. You're not looking for a person to pull you together. You're looking for God to do that because he is your creator. >> Right. >> After that, emotional maturity. >> Boom, boom, boom. >> I need to know what is triggering me. >> >> I need to know that I can't just flap off whenever I get ready to. I can't say whatever comes up, comes out. That's not emotional maturity. Some of us really need a lot of emotional maturity, and we need to sit with ourselves and sometimes sit with ourselves in counseling to understand what is making you pop off. Do you need to go to bed? Do you need to have your different kind of >> Do you need to eat? >> Do you need to eat? Hey. >> >> I got my emotional emotional emotional maturity. >> I got it. I know when it's time for me to eat. And I'm going to look at him and be quiet cuz I know that's what I need to do, right? >> Good girl. >> So, stop looking for someone to complete you. Allow God to complete the work that he is doing inside of you. >> Say that again, babe. >> Right? Stop looking for someone to complete you. >> Mhm. >> Allow God to complete the work that he is doing inside of you. It's a work in >> progress. This is not to make you feel bad. This is only for awareness because you may not have anybody in your life that's telling you, "Hey, you need to get it together and you need to become all that God has called and created you to be." >> Since tonight we're talking about becoming, what would you say is the area you're working on? Are you healing? Is it in your identity? Are you becoming whole? Do Are you developing emotional maturity? Or even boundaries, right? Are you developing a a space where you're learning how to create and have healthy boundaries for yourself? Drop it in the chat real quick. Is it healing? Is it identity? Is it wholeness? Is it emotional maturity? Is it boundaries that you need to create because sometimes the prevention of people becoming or developing character is because they haven't put up proper boundaries. So, they keep getting back in relationships that they got out of. >> Right. >> And when they keep going back and forth, back and forth, and getting back in relationships that they got out of, they keep rehearsing and reinjuring themselves. So, then you never fully become the person that you're supposed to become. >> Whole. >> The whole person and you're not really ready for the person that's perhaps trying to get ready for you cuz you keep flip-flopping and don't create boundaries. I love everybody in the chat loud and loud and strong. I mean, nobody's hiding. Everybody's like, "This is what I'm working on. This is my season. This is where I'm at. This is what's happening." >> It's so good. It's so good. Yeah. It's so good. Yeah. when you are growing. So so I mean we never stop becoming. We in our own journey of process she told you I mean she was healing from a space. I was healing from a space. We were careful to heal finding ourselves as fast friends. Chemistry of course but the character we have saw something I mean we saw other beautiful people and we had other vibes before although we did have a moment where our chemistry was off the chart and we was like locked in like oh my God this my person right and it was it was an incredible encounter but it was after a lot of character revealing and a lot of character work that we understood who we were and we were in the process of doing the work on the inside to become I didn't want to bring baggage from previous circumstances or previous relationship to this relationship. I wanted to know I was healed enough to handle who God was sending into my life. I needed to be healed enough to handle the gift right the favor for life. I mean this scripture resonates so much to us when I asked my wife to marry me I literally said would you be my favorite for life right I identified that there was something working in her and with her I mean look even tonight we usually do great numbers right great numbers on Wisdom Wednesday people watching live but just bringing her on we almost 50% more than we normally do because she's my favorite for life. That don't make me feel no kind of way. If she comes into my space and it doesn't add value then she's not executing her favor. She's not functioning in her glory. If she if she if I bring her into something I'm doing and it doesn't grow it doesn't become more than what it was before I I doing it then she's not operating in her anointing. So, I don't feel no way because I brought her on and now more of y'all showed up. I expected y'all to show up. I expected more people to come. I'm not insecure about that. I'm not worried about that. I'm not concerned about that. I needed y'all to know that she is a reflection of my decision-making process. She's a wife of noble character and I want her to show up in the space so you can see what I get to be married to. And so you can know that this is This is how she adds value to whatever it is that I say and do. We work to add value independently of ourselves. So, when we come together, we don't just two times ourselves. >> times. >> We 10 times ourselves. You know what I'm saying? >> Yes. >> Do you want What's our final point? Oh, our final point Our final point is wisdom seekers never stop becoming. >> Never Never. >> Never never never stop becoming. We never stop becoming. Never stop becoming whatsoever. We find ourselves in a space where we have to keep growing. Even now, we are intentionally I think my wife thinks that I I intentionally prick at us, right? But it's because I don't ever stop those things. It's because I don't want us to ever stop growing or getting I want to have growth opportunities and I want to identify because so many people's marriage and relationship stop out because they think that cuz they got the ring or because they became married that it's done. But that's when the work begins. >> And it is and and I mean, I I I talk about him, but he always does poke the bear. And it's good because his his motto is if it's not broken, break it, right? And so I we are always It's kind of a break, yeah. And I think I think even for our whole family as a as a father, as a you know, don't think that his leadership is just only to you. His leadership is throughout um our family, in our marriage, everywhere that he goes, he pushes leaders, right? But the thing that I love about him is that he does not only push leaders, but he also pushes his self. He's a very high achiever. Really really is. I'll be like, "Babe, this that's so unnecessary." But it's very necessary for him so he can feel like he's growing. So I would definitely say that the relationship that we had when we first got married is nothing compared to where we are right now. Like we had a future and we were hoping for different things to happen, but I definitely know that we have truly truly evolved um not just locations, but with ministry and just the various businesses that we have been able Right, who we are who we are as an individuals. And I definitely know because I told him before we got married, I said, "Listen, you can be crazy if you want to and you know, try to go out on me or whatever and I'm just telling you that I'm just going to live cuz I'm cuz I'm about to because I'm about to tell you the deep the of my love. And so I would be I was just like, you know, I'm just saying it's just going to be me, you, and her. You're going to figure it out. Whatever. We're going to be up in here. That was right. Right. So that was me talking, right? And then I think probably like year 10 after having two babies and you know, having Josiah, I was like, "Yeah, dude. If you try to bring somebody in here, I'm going to kill you and I'm going to tell everybody where that I did it because my love is deeper for you and we've gone through a lot of things that I can't just throw away just for the sake of how I feel. It is because we've built so much together and our lives have have been so intentional. I don't want to have anything that will come against that. So there's no argument. There's no indifference. There's no holding grudges because our relationship and us moving forward is more important than these little these little bitty stuff that could try to come in between us. >> Yeah, and she don't got to worry about that cuz I don't want nobody else uh and I'm not interested, but point of being that love grows. It was grandma that told us that. Grandma said in the beginning that we should be soberly in love in the beginning, but not goo goo ga ga head over heels in love. >> don't that you just not sober and and that you just I'm not and this is not to say that you ignore things that the one thing about continue to becoming is is the thing that some things might be quote unquote negative and sometimes couples retreat from that versus pushing into that. That is a becoming moment. >> Right. When we hit something when we hit something and emotionally that doesn't like we're trying to figure out what that is, let's not we don't retreat from that. We push into it because pushing into it is helping us to become a better couple. It's helping us to become a better person versus retracted or going somewhere else that's going to cause us to escape. We don't escape. >> When you push into things when you hit up against something because that is an opportunity to become >> give them the whole thing. Soberly in love simply says that you are sober enough to love and be in love to make sound decisions, but not so emotionally in love that you can't identify red flags. And as you grow in your relationship, you become more and more in love. If I love you year 10 like I loved you year one, then something didn't happen. If I love you year 20 like I loved you year one, something No, I loved her enough to ask her to be my wife in the beginning. He that finds a wife finds a good thing obtains favor from the Lord, but year 21 the love that I have for her in year 21 does not compare to the love I had for her in year one because we grew and we kept becoming and we keep challenging ourselves and we keep growing. So becoming is not something that you do separately. It's something you then do together and here's the catch. You got to do the work by yourself before you find together. Then when you get together, you got to do the work together, but you also have to do individual work while you doing work together when you married. Cuz now you got individual work inside of a collective work to keep the work going cuz I still have to keep becoming. She has to keep becoming. I have to challenge her. She has to challenge me. And then we still have to become more when you're together. So single people, unmarried people, hey, your single season is not that bad. You got to learn to love it. You got to learn to enjoy cuz all you got to do is focus on you. >> Okay. >> When you get married, you got to focus on you while focusing on them while focusing on y'all while focusing on the kids while focusing on all this other stuff. And there's a grace that goes with every season. So know that ultimately the goal is whatever space you in, you never stop becoming. >> Because you are building a muscle to become. That is a muscle that you are building that will translate into all of your assignments. >> So marriage is not the finish line. So let's just We we have a talk out there on our YouTube that talk about like everybody might not get married and everybody don't have to be married, right? Marriage is not the finish line. Actually, marriage is another classroom. So if you don't want to get in another classroom, then don't be looking for to get married cuz marriage is about to teach you a whole 'nother side of yourself that you didn't know. If you are in the classroom of life of just becoming who God wants you to be, enjoy it. Bloom where you planted. Enjoy the season that you're in. Maximize it and do nothing that diminishes your value. Only make decisions that continually continually add value to who you are so you can be the person that you're trying to attract. Did you hear what I said? Be the person that you're trying to attract cuz 20 years later, God still teaching us. God still correcting us. God still challenging us. God still growing us. He's still stretching us because we are in a posture where we always willing to become. Y'all ready? We overtime. I brought you a you even made my time more. Listen, we overtime, we got to get out of the church tonight. We only have 30 minutes of church tonight, all right? Y'all ready? Y'all ready? Y'ALL READY? LISTEN, WHAT HABIT, here's my question, what habit will you strengthen? What habit in you would strengthen every relationship in your life? What habit in you would strengthen every relationship in your life? Let's not look out, let's look in. What habit in you would strengthen every relationship in your life. If I became more of this, it would strengthen every relationship, strengthen my friendship, strengthen me as a daughter, as a mother, as a father, as a son, as a brother, because I cuz when you think about this, this is what you're becoming. This is the work that I need you to focus on, work on you, the work of becoming. It's not selfish. It's not selfish. It's healthy to work on the work that you are becoming, all right? So, I want everybody, everybody, everybody that's watching tonight to make the decision, to make the decision, I'm becoming. Put it in the chat. This is your declaration. This is your decision. I'm becoming. I'm becoming. Everybody put it in the chat. I'm becoming. I'm becoming. Come on, babe, quickly. Pray for the Pray for the people real quick before we go. We overtime anyway, so pray for the people. Let's wrap it up. Receive the prayer. Come on. Pray for us. >> So, God, we just pray over all of the singles, those that are unmarried, that have a desire to be married, Lord God, and to be in a relationship, that you just bless them, those that are dating, give them wisdom in this time and this season, let them to become who you called them to be, let them see red flags that is necessary for them in in relationship and dating. And uh God, we lift up every married couple that is here tonight, Lord God, that you will just continue to bless their relationship and protect and watch over them and help them to become the wife and the husband that you have desired for them to be, Lord God. We lift up families in a special way. We thank you for every nation that is represented here tonight, that you will continue to bless them, watch over them, Lord God. Give mothers and fathers direction of how to lead and guide their children, Lord God, and bless the children. Let there be no hurt, harm, or danger to come to them, but we plead the blood of of Jesus over them from the crown of their head to the sole of their feet as even as they are ready for school, to go to high school, to grammar school, to to college, that you would just bless and watch over and protect our families, Lord God. We ask you to heal the brokenhearted, Lord God. Those that have feeling any anything that has caused them to alter their personality or to for them not to be able to love in a safe and a in a special place, Lord God. We ask for your healing balm to come to them now, Lord God. And we thank you, Lord God, for those that are waiting, that they will wait for your timing and your direction. And we pray all of these blessings in Jesus name. Amen. >> Amen. Come on, put it in the chat. I am becoming. I am becoming. Change the men for the better, Lord. Focus on you. Quit focusing on them. I Yes, Father, we pray for the men as well, okay? But focus on you, all right? But we do got to pray for the brothers that they become everything God created them to be as well, all right? So don't you dare miss it. Don't you dare miss it. Was this good tonight? Was this good tonight, y'all? Was it good? Let me know. Let me know in the chat if it was good. >> So, if tonight has blessed you and you are married, okay? If you're married, we have a Created Marriage that is coming up at the end of this month, and we personally invite you to Created Marriage experience. It is not just a time to just kind of come together, but it is a divine experience, right? It's going to be fun. It's got some intentionality. We've got a VIP of and place that is curated just for you, okay? You know, some people like that top-tier treatment. Come on up for the VIP, right? >> everybody. We need you to come. >> That is married or engaged. >> Yes. >> Okay. >> Right. Come to the classroom, right? But it's going to be a great time. We want you to come and it's so good. I hope everybody joined. We learned so much from unmarried people when we were at BCI that they was like, "Don't just talk to the married people. You got to talk to us cuz we need We need this information before we get married." So, we decided to jump in and talk about wisdom for every relationship. My wife going to be with me again next week. We talking all month about all the different components. If this bless you, I'm going to give you the opportunity to do what? >> Sow where you grow. >> Proverbs 18:22 was the lesson tonight about becoming You can give a 18:22 seed, give whatever seed that you want to give, but God word says that we give and the more we give when we give, it's more blessed to give than it is to receive. And when we give, it comes back to us good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, all right? So, when we give, we sow where we grow because everything gives from what it receives. If you receive from it, you give to it so you can always draw from it, all right? So, we still rocking with Cash App if you got it, but Cash App switching up. Y'all read them them the fine print. They switching up a little bit. So, we got some new giving options. Giveify is a giving option, PayPal is a giving option, and you can Zelle as a giving option. You can scan the code on the screen. Either way, whatever you give, it can give. We still have PayPal I mean, we still have Cash App. We just not necessarily promoting it. We shifting from it cuz it's getting a little weird, all right? So, at least for us it is. So, God bless you tonight. Thank you for your gifts. Some of y'all was giving while we were teaching, you were learning, y'all locked in, y'all shared, shared, shared. Y'all shared this word, the numbers grew. If you was watching on Instagram, sorry you had a half of a face, but you know, go watch it on YouTube. That's where it lives. I got to go cuz I got to get ready for Future Focus. Thank you for joining me tonight. >> Of course. >> We was 15 minutes over time, but you know, it was still good. But everybody ought to give tonight if this blessed you and you got something out of it. Whatever you give, 1822, some of y'all gave 20, some of you gave more, but whatever you do, give because it's a law of reciprocity. Give from to where you received from, all right? Love y'all. Hope it was great. Bring a back a friend next week. We going to get into it again and go back and watch it again and again cuz a lot of nuggets were dropped. And we hope that you heard something and learned something that helped you become. All right? Spend time >> Focusing on you. >> you becoming. See y'all later. Peace. Thank y'all for locking in and being with us tonight. Amen. That was good, babe.