today we're going to talk about why it's hard to focus our mind despite our best efforts our mind seems to remain scattered we're sort of juggling too many things we're starting to feel overwhelmed and without a focused mind tasks don't get done in the right way so the funny thing here is that as we try to solve this problem it turns out that one of the things that we think is a solution is actually a big cause of the problem and that is efficiency if you're ready to take the next step on your mental health Journey check out Dr K's guide it's an immersive resource that distills over 20 years of my experience laid out in a way that is tailored to your needs so if you're ready to better understand your mind and take control of it check out the link in the description below so hear me out because generally speaking we think of efficiency as a good thing right the more efficient we are the more we can accomplish the more we'll get done the more productive we are but as it turns out if you really look at the nature of the mind and efficiency we'll discover how a big cause of the scattered mind today is actually the pursuit of efficiency so let's take a step back and take a look at efficiency so when we're talking about efficiency what does that mean so in our mind we tend to have lots of different tasks and what we used to do is prioritize right we can't do everything at once so you have to pick what to do the tricky thing with efficiency is efficiency allows you to do more than one thing right we can pack in more things into one hour or even one one individual moment if we are efficient so I could be for example like eating a burrito driving and listening to an audiobook and so this inefficient part of like my commute can now be productively used to learn something or gain a skill and deal with this inefficient time that I have of like actually needing to feed my body so if you sort of stop and think about it the more efficient that we're trying to become okay now I'm going to listen to some sort of book or audiobook while I'm exercising I'm going to read something when I'm on the toilet I'm going to watch something every time I have a meal we're even taking our fun and trying to make it as efficient as possible and so this may sound a little bit off to you but there's actually a huge problem with this which is when we are efficient we actually allow the mind to remain greedy so if we're not efficient what does the mind have to do it has to say okay I'm going to do this and I have to let go of this other thing anytime we prioritize what we have to do is let go of particular things we have to devalue and sort of say okay I'm not going to be able to do that I just have the time to focus on one thing and this is what we call prioritization the tricky thing about efficiency is it allows us to not prioritize right because if I've got a list of 10 things I'm not going to cut five of them off the list what I'm going to do is find an efficient way to accomplish them all and so when we end up with a greedy mind that is unwilling to give anything up because we're being efficient this is ultimately what leads to a scattered mind because now instead of focusing on one thing which is the consequence when I prioritize right I have to take things off of my list and then as a result I'm just focusing on one thing because this is the priority and I can't do everything anyway so let me do a good job here what is the world we live in it's the opposite of that I've got 10 things to handle I've got to do them all yesterday and so I result in sort of a scattered mind where I'm juggling lots of different tasks and I can't give anything up you may be a victim to this if you feel like when you look at your to-do list you can't afford to take something off of your list and if you can't afford to take it off your list what do you end up doing you end up being efficient and the more efficient you try to be what is your actual experience that you're overwhelmed and Scattered and your energy is Spread Way Too Thin we also see this in a surprising place which is actually online dating so when you look at an online dating profile today what do you see you see a list of requirements right six feet tall six figures six inches or on the flip side dudes are looking for that's usually women are looking for that but maybe dudes too and then women are looking for someone who's emotionally available but is also like you know allows me to be independent but makes plenty of money and we're sort of everyone's looking for everything right I've never seen a dating profile where someone says these are my priorities in this order if you've got one that's the most important thing and if you don't have three through ten that's actually okay because these are my priorities instead what you have is someone who's looking for everything right I want it all I want someone who's physically attractive someone who's emotionally available someone who is wealthy and independent someone who you know these are the things that we're looking for we're looking for everything and we're not willing to give anything up and what does that result in an inability to find a partner because we're not willing to prioritize so the more that you're trying to accomplish everything whether it's tasks or find the perfect partner what you'll notice is that as your mind is juggling 10 tasks it can't focus on a single one and so paradoxically our desire to get everything done is what results in getting very little done the more that we try to do the more that our attention is scattered the more that our attention is scattered the less we are able to focus on one thing and check one box and get it off of our list the more unable we are to actually remove things off of our list the more our list piles up and the more overwhelmed we become then we start to juggle more and more and our mind becomes more and more scattered and more diffuse and the cycle repeats and what is our solution to this oh that's right I need to be more efficient because if I can be more efficient I can check three things off at once and so paradoxically what we need to do is actually take a step away from efficiency we need to start to realize that the more efficient I try to be actually what my mind is doing is being extra greedy I'm not willing to give things up and if I'm not willing to give things up I can't actually focus on one task if you're listening to this and you're feeling kind of skeptical about it let's take a look at that because your mind right now is saying I can't afford to prioritize I can't afford to give things up my boss demands too much I have to exercise I have to do this stuff I have to clean the house I have to build my skills I have to learn social skills I have to learn how to date I have to get in shape I have to contribute to my retirement I have so many things to do and think about when you're that's the strategy of your mind where has it gotten you when you've tried to do a thousand things because they're all so important and you can't afford to give something up how does that actually end up working out and think about the converse as well I want you all to think about a time in your life where you've woken up maybe and you were focused on just one thing for some reason you were not burdened by everything and there may be these moments in your life I know I've certainly had them and especially if you've got ADHD this may resonate with you that you wake up and in four hours you can do one week's worth of work you're just like banging things out one at a time one at a time one at a time and you get so much done and if you have these moments you may start to think to yourself wow imagine what I could accomplish if I could do this every single day and so since you know you're capable of it you start to add more and more things on okay I can now add tons of stuff because if I can get to this maximum efficiency of getting so much done in four hours then I could accomplish so much but think about how your mind actually operates in those four hours and I would bet money that in those four hours your mind is not actually trying to do a thousand things at once the way that you accomplish so much is because you're not actually thinking about the hundred things that you have to do you're just thinking about one and you finish it fast and then your mind is like all right I feel pretty good let's do another thing boom let's do another thing boom let's do another thing boom and so it turns out that the more we focus on efficiency the less we prioritize the less we prioritize the less our mind has to give things up we're facilitating a greedy mind that doesn't have to give anything up is unwilling to face the consequences of giving things up as we're unwilling to give things up our attention becomes scattered and we actually don't perform very well and so how do we fix this a couple of things that you can do the first is to notice when your mind seeks efficiency and when it seeks efficiency tunnel down into your emotional state in that moment and what you'll probably discover is that your mind is unwilling to grieve the loss of a particular thing and so it feels attached and bound to that thing and the more attached and bound it becomes the more scattered it will become the harder it will be to attain that flow State because you're so stressed so even the noticing can help the second thing that you can do is a technique called so this is a very very old premeditative technique that was taught by yogis in the Himalayas so they sort of notice this even before we start to meditate because a lot of times people will tell you oh maybe you should meditate but that may be hard for you so there's actually a preparatory exercise is about focusing on one thing at a time and you may say but that's hard for me so that's why we're gonna start small so forget about the important things instead what we're going to do is take the unimportant things and we're going to just do one thing at a time so if you're eating a meal don't watch or listen to anything don't even have a conversation while you're eating a meal just focus on eating the meal that's all we're gonna do other examples of this or if you're you know in the shower or in the on the toilet or something like that steer clear of your phone because there's a lot of negative impacts of Technology as well but anytime you're doing something as many things as you can just do that thing if you're going for a walk don't listen to an audiobook if you're exercising maybe you can listen to music but even try exercising without listening to music so as many things as you can just do them by themselves and what this facilitates is every time you do that your mind has to give something up right you're going to practice getting rid of efficiency because now we're not learning and exercising at the same time and as you'll sort of discover as you train up that muscle you'll be able to give things up and as you're able to give things up and be free of efficiency you will actually facilitate those flow States or those hyper productivity States and there are also benefits for things like it'll help you facilitate setting boundaries because as you give things up and you sort of recognize that you can't do something you will sort of tell people hey I'm sorry I can't help you with this and internally you're going to set your priorities as you set priorities it'll help you set boundaries and the last thing that you'll see and we've seen this a lot in career coaching when we sort of train people to focus on one thing at a time is a reduction in Burnout so if you're struggling with a scattered mind chances are the reason that you continue to have difficulty focusing is because you're actually sabotaging Yourself by pursuing efficiency