SML Movie Chef Jeffy | Free AI Summary — Wave Tube

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Analysis of "SML Movie Chef Jeffy"

Overview

The video titled "SML Movie Chef Jeffy," published by WAY LOUD STU, extends for a marathon duration of 181 minutes. The content is a compilation of the best moments featuring the character Jeffy from the SML (SuperMarioLogan) series, showcasing funny scenes, parodies, and comedic interactions among characters. The description emphasizes that the marathon is designed for both entertainment and relaxation.

Content Structure

The transcript reveals a variety of comedic segments, each contributing to the overarching themes of humor, friendship, and the absurdity of everyday situations. The interactions are characterized by:

Humor: Frequent banter and puns among characters.
Character Dynamics: Distinct personalities are showcased, particularly Jeffy's childlike innocence and silliness, contrasted with the more pragmatic views of other characters like Cody and Joseph.
Cultural References: The video makes various references to pop culture, including mentions of Spongebob, McDonald's, and various societal norms.

Character Analysis

Jeffy

Personality Traits: Jeffy is portrayed as mischievous, naive, and often the source of chaos. His antics, such as running a red light and causing a traffic accident, set off the main comedic conflicts.
Interactions: His relationships with Cody and Joseph highlight the dynamic of childhood friendships, with a blend of loyalty and rivalry.

Cody

Role: The voice of reason among the trio, often reacting to Jeffy's nonsensical behavior with sarcasm and frustration.
Characterization: Cody's insecurities and desire for acceptance are evident, especially when he tries to defend his interests and friendships.

Joseph

Behavior: Joseph embodies the carefree friend archetype, often encouraging reckless behavior while adding to the comedic relief.
Interactions: His playful banter with Jeffy and Cody reinforces the light-hearted tone of the video.

Themes

Friendship and Loyalty: The characters often band together for fun but also face challenges that test their loyalty, such as the incident with the traffic light.
Absurdity of Life: The situations presented, such as a talking turkey and the bizarre rules of their games, underline the comedic absurdity that SML thrives on.
Childhood Innocence: Jeffy’s antics reflect a child’s perspective on life, where rules can be bent and consequences often ignored.

Key Moments

Game Interactions: The board game sequences, particularly the misunderstandings about animal sounds and game rules, serve to highlight the characters' unique perspectives and comedic timing.
Cultural Commentary: The dialogue includes commentary on social issues, such as the absurdity of the traffic light situation and the references to real-world events (e.g., Steve Irwin's death), adding layers to the humor.

Audience Engagement

The call to action in the video encourages viewers to engage by liking, commenting their favorite moments, and subscribing for future content. This interaction not only promotes community but also fosters a sense of belonging among fans.

Conclusion

"SML Movie Chef Jeffy" is a multifaceted presentation of humor that combines absurd scenarios, relatable childhood experiences, and the complexities of friendship. The distinct character traits and their interactions create a dynamic that appeals to a wide audience, making it a staple in the SML series. The video effectively captures the essence of childhood imagination while addressing themes relevant to its viewer base.

Transcript

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So guys, what do you want to do tonight? >> I don't know, dude. I'm bored. >> Oh, we haven't played board games in a while. I could go grab a few new ones. >> Oh my god. Yeah, go pick some new board games. That'd be so fun. >> Okay, let's go. >> Okay, guys. Our first game is Fainting Goats. >> Why is this game called Fainting Goats? >> Well, apparently you yell moo at the goats to make them faint. >> You yell moo at a goat. >> That's what the kid in the picture is doing. >> Dude, goats don't moo, THEY GO BAD. >> YEAH, you're right. But apparently whoever made this game thinks they say moo. >> Well, even that goat has cow spots. >> Yeah, you're right. I I think they kind of wanted to make a game about cows. Then why didn't they call it fainting cows and use cows? >> I don't know. It's not like the animal matters. >> Yeah. I mean, maybe they couldn't get the rights to use a cow. >> They couldn't get the rights to cows. You don't have to get the rights to cows. >> Well, maybe your mom didn't answer the phone. >> Can we just focus on the game, please? >> Okay, Cody, how do you play the game? >> Okay, so first you have to draw a card, and that tells you what noise you got to make. So, I have to say blub blub to make the goats faint. What the are we even doing here? >> Come on, Cody. Show us how to play. >> Okay, so you you press this button. Well, okay. First, you have to turn it on. >> You didn't turn it on. It was on. I guess it just whatever. Okay. So, you press this button. Okay. And then this tells you how loud you have to say blah blah. So, I have to say blubl loud to make these goats faint. >> Okay. Do it. >> We'll get to it. Blub blob. >> SEE, I DID IT. >> THAT'S THE SPIRIT, DUDE. >> OH MY GOD. YOU'RE REALLY GOOD AT SAYING BLAH BLAH. >> HELL YEAH. I AM. >> OKAY, I'm going to draw the next card. It's my turn. It's my turn. Okay. My sound is CHOO CHOO LIKE A TRAIN. OH, LIKE THOMAS. I'M SO GOING to do this. >> Oh, yeah. This is perfect for you, dude. >> All right, Cody. How loud do I have to say? Choo choo. >> Let's see. >> Hopefully really loud. I can scream that >> That's pretty quiet, Junior. >> What? Trains aren't quiet. >> Well, that's what you got to do. >> Okay, fine. I'll try. >> Okay, get ready. >> Choo choo. >> WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT, DUDE? QUIET, YOU DUMBASS. >> THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A QUIET TRAIN, JOSEPH. >> WELL, IT SAID QUIET. THAT'S THE GAME, IDIOT. THAT WAS THE QUIETEST TRAIN I THINK I COULD EVER HAVE DONE. >> WHAT? >> NO, you got to do it way quieter than that. >> All right, Joseph, you try if you think >> this idiot. >> No. Come on. >> Yeah. Yeah, cuz there's no such thing as a quiet train as a trick car. >> But it was quieter than yours. >> Okay, your turn, Jesse. Nope. >> There's no such thing as a quiet train. I'm telling you, guys. Watch. I can do this. >> >> Choo choo. >> NO WAY. >> OH, WHAT THIS GAME? THIS GAME IS THERE'S NOTHING IS A QUIET TRAIN. AND THERE'S JUST NO WAY. >> I DEFINITELY won the first time. I don't care. >> Yeah, there's just no. >> I got it. I won. >> No, you don't even know anything about trains, Cody. Okay. I mean, if you know everything about trains, then what year was Thomas Hen invented? >> 1936. >> No. >> Wait, you know? >> I No, I don't either, but I just know that's not it. >> Okay, off. Okay, guys. So, this next game is Moo Achu. An actual cowbased game. >> Wait, wait. Why is this not called Moo Gochu? >> I I don't know. >> Cuz cuz now it's a cow game. So, it should be it should be good. It's actually Hold on. No, my joke is not funny. Let me start. It should be called ba ba at you >> because cuz the last one was fainting uh goats and it said moo. So, this should make goat sounds and then and then not moo. >> You're right. It should that Yeah. Um, I'm going to read the instructions now. Uh, so what you want to do is draw a card. And if you you want to get as many clovers as possible, but when you get a dandelion, you have to press the button on top of her head. And if she sigh, you get to keep the card. And if she does a little sneeze, you have to get rid of the card. And if she farts, uh-oh, Mumu sneezed so hard she tooted. So then you get to take the poop token. I'm assuming this is the poop token. And then if you end the game with the poop token, you lose two Clover points. And the game is over when she does a big sneeze. Oh, got a big ass nose. >> Yeah, >> she does. I mean, is this sculpted off your mom, Cody? No. >> Okay, let's just let's just Okay. >> Yeah. All right. So, let's let's how do we play? >> I got to turn on Moo. Hold on. >> You know how to turn on your mom. >> Okay. >> You finger butt. >> God damn it, Junior. >> Freak out. >> Play with her utters. >> Okay. Big long nipples. >> Okay. The instructions say whoever saw a cow most recently starts. >> Well, >> yeah. You just got back FROM YOUR HOUSE. >> OKAY. WELL, I guess I'll go first then. you guys. >> OKAY, >> I got two Clover points, but I >> I got to press the button. >> Okay. >> When's she going to her pants? >> Not Not yet. Okay. I get to keep this card though. So, somebody else go. >> Okay. So, now what? >> I'm going to go. >> What do you got? >> I got a clover and a and a thing. >> You got to press it. Hold on. I got You get to keep it. >> Darn. I wonder >> What did that happen? >> She was threatening to sneeze, but she didn't. >> Okay. >> Okay. So, >> Joseph, you draw I got you. I got you. >> What is it saying? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. There we go. >> Okay. >> All right. She's just singing it. >> Tell your mom to hush. We're in the middle of the game. >> All right. All right. Press the button. >> Press the button. >> No sneeze. >> OH SHE I THINK SHE'S >> SHE NEEDS some moo metam mucus. >> Joseph, you get the card. >> I know some >> Cody's mom showing your face. >> She dookie. >> Freaky mom. >> Okay. Um, it's >> your turn, Junior. >> Can you draw the card for Why did she do that? >> She said, "Ew, >> you don't have to press the button." >> Why? >> Cuz you didn't get one of those. >> You didn't get a dandelion. >> All right. Well, that's gay. >> Well, the rule. I'm sorry. Well, let me see if I need to press the button. >> It's my turn. >> Yes. I kind of knew she WAS GOING TO SNEEZE CUZ THE SOUND'S TURNED. >> YEAH, I But nothing came out. >> Yeah, that's I I guess I think you have >> She's congested. >> All right, Joseph, your turn. Your turn, Joseph. All right. >> I want her to diarrhea. >> You don't have to press it either. >> What? What is this game? >> I'm sorry. That's just how it works. >> All right, my turn. >> Okay. I I feel like I should have gotten a turn by now, but >> Oh, press the button. Press the button. Press button. Got it. Just a little bit of snot came out. >> I guess that was a sneeze. I >> All right. All right. Whose turn is it? >> Mine. >> Oh, I Okay. >> Wait, you get to press it three times. >> No, I only have to press it once cuz I got one dandelion. >> How do you press it? >> OH, SHE YOU MADE HER YOU MADE YOUR MOM I DIDN'T MAKE IT. IT'S NOT MY MOM. >> YES, IT IS. Get the >> I need the poop card. >> When's it spit out bubbles? >> I'm going to go get >> Okay. >> Nope. Nothing. >> She slide. >> Yeah. >> Does she ever >> think she's all out of >> Does she ever blow bubbles? She's more than bubbles came out. >> That's somebody's guard. Press it again. I saw one bubble. >> I don't know if the game's over or not. >> I feel like I saw one bubble. I think it's over. >> Did you set the game up right, Cody? >> I think I did. I poured the mumu juice into her butt. >> What? >> the mumu juice. >> Your mom is going, "Wow." >> OKAY, I'M DONE PLAYING THIS. IT'S NOT MY MOM. OKAY, my mom. I don't want to play anymore. You guys are going to say it's MY MOM. >> WHO BROUGHT HER HERE? >> OKAY. Who's picking out these lame ass games? I don't I don't I I just go and I go to the store and I I find >> Guys, I could make a better game than these board games we play. >> No way you can. >> No, these companies can't tell the difference between a cow and a goat. And then when they do make a cow, they make it and there's no bubbles. I've not seen a single bubble come out her nose. >> I saw one. She's congested. >> I need some mumu juice so I can stick it in her pooper. >> Oh, you know what, guys? I'm going to go make my You know what? I'm going to write a letter. Shut the Keep telling me to shut up. >> I'll turn her off. >> Okay. What were you saying? >> Okay, I'm going to go write a letter to the board game company. >> Okay, >> actually, no. You know, that. I think we all should make our own board games, and whoever makes the best board game, we can send it in, and if they accept our ideas, then we make better board games than they do. >> Oh, yeah. I can make the best board game. >> Okay, let's do that. >> Watch this. >> Guys, get in here. Come see the board game I invented. >> Junior, this is Connect 4. >> Yeah, we played this game before, dude. >> No, this is better than Connect 4. This is Connect 2. >> What? >> That's a short ass game, dude. >> No, no, guys. It's better because connect four takes a long time. But connect two is for people who don't have a lot of time. Look, look. I'll show you. I'll show you. All right, Cody, you go. >> Okay. >> Oh, you are so screwed. >> I win. >> But Junior, this is stupid. >> Wait, why? >> Well, because whoever goes first always wins. >> Yeah, it's unblockable, dude. You can't beat that. >> Oh, you guys are just sore losers because I'm good at the game. I'm the best guy at Connect, too. >> You can't be the best because you're always going to win if you go first. >> Oh, listen. The people who buy the game won't know that if they go first, they win. And then when they find out, they're going to stop playing cuz they don't want to lose. >> Not the person who goes first, he's always going to want to play. >> Yeah. And then no one's going to want to play with him. >> Okay. What if they flip a coin to see who gets to go first? >> Well, then you might as well stop with the coin toss because whoever wins that wins the whole game. >> Okay. Okay. How about this? How about this? We'll use this number cube instead of a coin. >> It's not a number cube. It's dice. >> Well, listen. If I roll one through three, I go first. If you roll four through six, you go first. >> That's the same as flipping a coin. >> It's not the same as flipping a coin. A coin has two sides. The cube has six sides. >> But if you divide the numbers in half, it's the same as a coin. There's no half of six. >> Three is half of six. >> Okay. If you have a sandwich, you cut the sandwich in half. That's like a coin, right? Cuz it's two sides. There's two pieces of sandwich, right? So, you get a piece, I get a piece. But if we cut a sandwich into six pieces, six people get a sandwich. >> And if we both have three, then we're both having half. >> Well, I don't need three pieces of a sandwich cuz I'm not that hungry. >> Junior, your game is stupid. >> Oh, wait. Listen, listen. Okay, you know what? Let's roll two dice, right? Okay. If I roll the two dice and I get one through six, I go first. If you roll the two dice, you get 6 through 12, you go first. >> Junior, it's still half. >> Okay. How the is it? That's 12 sides. >> What? But Junior, it doesn't matter. >> Okay, how about this? How about this? You grab a cube all for yourself, right? And I grab >> I said it's dice. >> Okay. And and I'll whoever rolls the highest number gets to go first. >> Okay, fine. >> I go first. >> You got your ass on that one. >> Best two out of three. How about No, no. New rule. Best two out of three on the dice roll. >> Okay. >> Oh, it's a tie. That means it's it's jiggle weather. >> What the does that mean? >> Is that a term you made up for your game? It's jiggle weather. That means That means >> What does that have to do with the game? >> I'm lost. >> Please explain what the jiggle weather is. >> And where do we use this in this game? >> Okay, so jiggle weather is you mix all the pieces together and then I go first. >> Okay, well you. >> Yeah, this is real. >> Your game sucks. >> Did you MAKE A BETTER GAME, CODY? >> I actually did. Yes. >> Okay, guys. My game is called Twist them. >> Like the game Twister? >> What's that? >> The game where you spin and you put your hand on green. Oh, I mean that's kind of what you do, but I don't know what you're talking about. You spin this little spinner right here, and then whatever body part it lands on, that's the color you put it on. So, let's see. So, now I got to put my wiener on blue. There you go. Go ahead and spin, Junior. >> Okay. >> Oh, you got to put your face on blue. >> Whoa. >> I have a preference of which one you pick. >> Okay. I'm not playing this game, Cody. >> Oh, come on, Joseph. Come on. Your turn. No, >> I'm not playing this gay ass game, dude. I'll pass. >> Okay, fine. I'll spin for a can. Let's see. Oh, you got to put your abs on green, Ken. There you go. Okay. >> You sure you guys don't want to play? >> He's clinking, dude. >> Okay, I'm going to I'm going to respin. >> Oh, you got to put your wiener on blue. We could touch tips. >> Jesus. >> I'm not doing this this game. I'm I'm spinning one more time. >> You got to put your face on yellow. >> Go for it, J. >> Pretty close to his winning. your face on yellow. >> Okay. No. No. I'm spinning one last time cuz I I I don't I don't want any of these. >> Oh, you got to put your ass on green. >> Okay, I can do that one. >> Joseph. >> Uh, no. >> Okay, Ken's turn. Oh, you got to put his wiener on yellow. Scoot that wiener right over. >> All right, Cody, you do. >> Okay, let's see. Um, I got to put my wiener on red. >> Y'all are just wiener hopping, dude. >> Oh, yeah. That's all that's what the game's all about. >> Okay. Well, I don't think this game is good. I think this game is bad. We're not sending this into a game company cuz they're not going to pick it. >> Well, it's not like you guys have better games. >> They're going to pick Connect Two over this. >> No, they're not. >> Me, I have a pretty good game myself. Watch this. All right, y'all. Ready to play some sploo sploo? >> Yeah, I play this game all the time. It's very simple. All you need is some popsicle sticks, string, a cup full of ping pong balls, and uh let me use your dice. So, you roll the dice, and whatever it lands on, that's how many popsicle sticks you pick up. Oh, I forgot to tell you. Green equals one, blue equals two, yellow equals three, red equals four, I think orange equals five, and I think that's all the colors. >> So, if you roll a six, what happen? >> Oh, you lose automatically. >> Oh, okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> So, what's the numbers mean? >> Oh, that's how many balls you have to uh pick pick up in the cup. You can't let the balls fall or you got to tie your hands up and go in the corner like a bad boy. >> Okay. >> It sounds really hard. >> Oh, it's not that hard. Watch this. LUCKY DICE. OH, THREE. OKAY. GOT A BLUE ONE. >> >> DAMN. OH, I got to tie my hands up. I'm such a bad guy. >> I don't want to play this. >> You don't like my game? >> It seems really difficult. >> It's not that difficult. I just don't want to put my ass on your twister board. That was a loser game. >> Oh, come on. That was great. >> Hold on, guys. Jeffy's calling for us. Let's go downstairs and see if he created a game. >> So, Jeffy, WHAT'S THE GAME, BABY? WHOA. MY GAME IS JEFFYOPOLY. >> WELL, you made this yourself? >> Yep. I drew the pictures all by myself. >> I find that very hard to believe. I think a factory in China may have been involved. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> Okay. So, like is this based off the game that McDonald's used to have on their cups? >> What? >> Is this the game that McDonald's used to like have on their cups? >> You mean Monopoly? >> Yeah. >> But I mean McDonald's didn't invent Monopoly. >> Yes, they did. >> No, they didn't. >> They invented cheeseburgers. >> They didn't invent cheeseburgers. >> Oh, okay. Don't you don't know what you're talking about. >> Okay. Oh, so how do you play this game? Is like just like regular McDonald's Monopoly? >> Well, it's like regular Monopoly. And I even got you guys' pieces, too. So, right there is Cody's glasses. There's my helmet. Junior, there's your bib. And then, Joseph, there's your basketball. >> Oh, yeah. >> Oh, WE HAVE OUR OWN PIECES. THAT'S SO COOL. YEP. And since it's my game, I automatically get to start with five properties. Read it and queef. I have the classroom. I have my bicycle. I have the SML store. I have Goodman's Bank. And I have my skateboard cuz you can't keep me off that >> Oh yeah, you're always riding that thing. >> You're always riding the skateboard. >> Yep. So since it's also my game, I get to go first, too. So let's see. All right, I got 11. I'll move my piece. 11. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11. Summer school. I want to buy it. >> Okay, here's your summer school property. That's way more than what it was. >> I got like that, >> Okay, well it is your game. >> All right, my turn. Counter roll. Oh, I got a six. Okay. >> You're not counting. >> 1 2 3 4 5 six. >> I got it. >> That is Jeffy's pool. >> Nope. >> I want to buy it. You want piss in it or not? All right. I just bought Jeffy's pool. >> Oh, watch this turn, dude. Oh, four. That's One, two, three, four. >> What is that? school supplies. I DON'T I DON'T CARE ABOUT SCHOOL, DUDE. >> You have to pay $200. >> A bro, it's a conspiracy. >> All right, Cody, your turn. >> Okay, >> that's uh Yeah, that's 5, six, seven. That's seven. So, could you move me seven, please? I can't reach it. >> No, if I have to touch your piece and you lose your turn, it's automatically my turn again. >> Okay, dang. That's your game. >> Yeah, I mean, if you don't want to touch your piece, then >> I I It's way over there. >> All right. 10. That's doubles. Don't you go to jail. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Red couch. I want it. >> Here's your red couch. >> Bread factory, >> I think I'm winning. >> Um, so is it my turn again? >> Yes. Um, where is the dice? Okay. >> That was not a good roll. >> I got a seven. >> Shouldn't count as a roll. >> And you move Cody's glasses. >> What? >> Are you going to jail, buddy? >> Just pick it up. >> I land on clown school. I want to buy it. >> Here you go. >> All right, Cody. Can you grab the money from me? >> It's way over there again. I can't reach it. >> Then I'll just pay later. >> Like a credit card. >> My roll. Ooh, what's that? Eight. Okay, that's way better than four. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight foot long bangers. Sign me up, please. Okay, let me find that. >> Yeah, find it, Cody. >> That's um Hold on. Got a lot of properties and not very uh organiz Oh, there it is. >> You got to pay for it, Dylan. >> Oh, I got to pay for it. Yeah, it's kind of how the game works. A lot of money involved >> big time. 500. >> Okay, that's again not what it costs. I think I am winning. I don't know why everybody's paying me. >> You should give him change. >> Yeah, >> I don't >> Look at all the money you have, banker. >> There's so much. I I don't >> Cody, do your turn. >> Yeah. Okay, I'll do that. I'll pay later. >> Okay. Okay, it's fine. That's um again, I can't reach it. >> All right, you lose your turn. >> Okay, I think I see where this is going. Eight. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. I want Goodman E cheese. >> Okay, that's um >> and I'll provide the cheddar. >> There you go. >> Actually, no. I don't feel like paying for this one, so I think I'm going to keep it. >> That's fine. I have enough money. >> And it's also his game. He can make >> Yeah, he can. That's true. It's got his name on it. >> All right. Um, give me that. >> Um, that is that is a that's six. Okay. It's two threes. That makes six. >> That boy genius. >> Three is half of six. >> Okay, I see where you're going. You're going smart ass. One, two, three, four, five, six. Which one is that one? >> That's military school. >> Ooh, I want to buy it. >> That's right here. Okay, there you go. >> All right. How much was that one? >> Uh, that that one was um it's $200. >> Okay. Um, >> good enough. All right, >> got it. I can't grab my roll. >> That's okay. I mean, I don't think anybody's ever paid for anything, so I got it. Hey. Hey. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 the classroom. >> No, it's military. >> You owe me a YOU OWE ME ALL YOUR >> NO, THAT'S NOT HOW WE PLAY. >> I like this game. I just won. >> No, not really. Because I think eeny meeny miny I win. So, everyone give me all your >> That's his game. It's got his name and his face on it. >> Yeah, you lose. >> So guys, what do you want to do tonight? >> Oh, dude, turn on the TV so we can watch LeBron James. >> Oh, doesn't LeBron James play with his son? >> Uh, dude, pause. Yes, he plays basketball with his son. You have to say basketball. >> But LeBron James is the first player to play with his son. Why are you saying it like that? You're just repeating it. Say it right. >> Okay. Hey, Cody. Want to watch LeBron now? >> Nah, I'm more of an Iman Shumpert kind of guy. What's old Shump doing these days? He hasn't been in the league in years, dude. >> Just out there shumping it up. >> Wait, why does Ken have a tiny Cody on his arm? >> Oh, well, I caught somebody on a naughty website. So now instead of looking at other guys, he can just look at me. >> He's a doll, dude. He can't get on a website. He's not at all. Joseph, >> what website was he on? >> Hasbro. He's looking at Mr. Potato Head ass. >> Mr. Potato Head ass? >> Yeah, the head, the ass, all of it. And it really upset me cuz I don't even know which hole he was fantasizing about. The ear holes, the arm holes, the eye holes. >> Oh, well, you know, gibbing with your left hand is crazy. >> Yeah, he is left-handed. >> Okay, well, let's watch some LeBron. >> Yes. >> Oh, dude. No, you turned on Dr. Fingle Shits. >> Okay, let me change it. I really want to watch LeBron play with his son. >> Bro, stop saying that. You're going to make me hate basketball. >> Wait, hold on. Let's see if it's a rerun. >> HELLO. I AM DR. FREDERICK FINGER and today I have invented this machine to detect ALIEN SIGNALS FROM OUTER SPACE AND DETERMINE THEY ARE REALLY TRYING TO CONTACT US. I WILL NOW input the coordinates. >> I think I'm getting a signal. >> You digging in me? You digging in a >> YES. >> Um I I think I have this pointed at my neighbor's house. Um maybe this is better. >> December 3rd, 2024. We will kill all humans. >> I am sorry I didn't catch that. Did you speak up? >> I said December 3rd, 2024. We will kill all humans. >> OH MY GOD. THAT IS TODAY. EVERYBODY RUN FOR THE LIVES. >> Oh my god. OH NO. ALIEN INVASION before GTA 6. >> Guys, it's just a TV show. OH MY GOD. KIDS, please get some help. >> Cody, being serious? There might be an alien invasion today. >> Guys, Dr. Fingle Shits is just a TV show. I think Ken might actually be addicted. >> Dude, you know you had to Google search Mr. Potato Head's ass and then put it in his hands. >> But no, I'm not doing this. Ken just has a problem. >> The news. >> Breaking news, Muk. Aliens have sent a video to Earth threatening to kill all humans. Today, the Secretary of Defense is holding a press conference and we'll go to that now. My fellow Americans, today we received a rather threatening message from an alien saying he was going to come down here on Earth and open up a can of whoop ass. Well, I got a message for you, Mr. Alien. We got a can opener and a bigger can of whoop ass with even more whoop ass in it. And it's one of those easy to open cans that has a little pull tab on it. But if you can't open that up with your weird little alien HANDS, WE GOT A CAN OPENER SO YOU CAN OPEN IT UP AND EAT ALL YOUR WHOOP ASS. CUZ WE GOT AN ALL YOU CAN EAT WHOOP ass buffet. WE GOT A GOLDEN CORRAL WHOOP ASS BREAKFAST WHOOP ASS LUNCH. WHOOP ASS DINNER. WHOOP ASS DESSERT UPSIDE DOWN WHOOP ASS CAKE. And then maybe when you get done eating you can meet our actress E. GOLDBERG. WE TOOK THE WHOOP out of HER NAME AND PUT IT IN A CAN OF ASS. AND WE MADE WHOOP ASS. So if you're hungry for whoop ass, come on down here so we can feed you. And if you're not hungry for whoop ass, DON'T EVEN COME DOWN CUZ THAT'S ALL WE have to eat. >> Okay guys, I feel comfortable knowing the military has so much whoop ass. >> Heck yeah, dude. If the aliens touch down here, they're going to have to deal with LeBron James. Oh yeah, LeBron James stopped aliens in Space Jam, too. Heck yeah, dude. He's a part of the Space Defense. >> Actually, there were no aliens in Space Jam 2. It was all just an algorithm and his name was LG Rhythm. >> Huh? >> I Aren't there aliens in Space Jam? >> Yeah, I could have sworn it was one. >> Well, I've seen the first one, not the second one. >> Me neither, >> So, there's no aliens in Space Jam, too? >> No. No. It's all like computer stuff like like LG Rhythm kidnaps LeBron James' son and traps him in the Warner Brothers database. >> Wait, LeBron James made a movie with his son playing with his son? >> Wait, wait, dude. Stop saying it like that. I'm going to kick your ass. >> Well, no, it's actually not his son. It's an actor playing his son. They get an actor to play his wife, too. It's weird. >> Why didn't LeBron James get his actual son in the movie? >> I don't know. It seems like they could have done that. Oh, yeah. And Bugs Bunny dies at the end, but then Yeah, like kind of. But then he shows up again later in the real world, and I don't know how the hell that works. And then Batman's there. And Rick and Morty. >> This movie's trippy. >> Is Rick and Morty playing basketball? >> No. No, they don't play basketball. They just kind of like watch, I guess. And then, you know, it's like everybody that Warner Brother owns the rights to shows up for the big basketball game. And he's like playing against other basketball players, but they're all weird. Like, there's a spider lady and a snake lady. What is that eyebrow guy? >> Uh Anthony Davish. >> Yeah. Yeah, him. He's like a bird man and his name is the brow. And then there's a guy who can like stop time and that's a problem. >> There's no way LeBron could beat all those people. >> Well, he does. He does do it. It's hard, but he does it. >> How does he have superpowers? >> I mean, other than being LeBron James. No, >> that that's a superpower on itself. >> Power definitely. >> Uh, excuse me, sir. What is it, Lieutenant Gar? Our radar has detected a UFO entering Earth's atmosphere. Oh, that sounds like a hungry alien. He must have seen my commercial for Whoopass. Poor little fella. Must have thought we were going to run out. But we're never going to run out of whoop ass. We're overstocked. >> Right. So, what is it you actually want to do? Well, does that little alien have Uber Eats or Door Dash? I I don't think so, cuz I personally want to deliver him a can of whoop ass. Get a five-star rating. Wait, you personally? YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, BOY. GO FUEL UP A JET. MAKE SURE YOU PACK LOTS OF cans of whoop ass. Sir, you do realize we don't actually have cans of whoop ASS. I KNOW THAT, BOY. I'M TALKING ABOUT NUKES. I'M TALKING ABOUT ROCKETS. NOW, HURRY UP. I DON'T WANT THAT WHOOP ASS TO GET COLD. >> YES, SIR. AND MAKE SURE YOU PACK YOU. OH, I guess the alien was not hungry for whoop ass. Maybe he stopped at McDonald's first. Well, I guess that makes me the secretary of defense, and I don't want that to happen to me. So, I think the best course of action would be for me to go home and order some Taco Bell. Yep. Chalupa. Okay, so LG Rhythm kidnapped LeBron James' son, but it wasn't really LeBron James. >> I don't care anymore. I just want to know if Lola Bunny is hot in this one. Not as much. But also, I'm gay, so you're asking the wrong guy. >> Okay. So, was Space Jam too good? >> No. >> Okay. Well, I think they should have made Space Bam, a football movie with Looney Tunes with Tom Brady. >> Oh, yeah. And then the other team is nothing but girls. And then for if they lose, oh, they have to show their feet so Tom can lick them. Freaky ass. >> There's someone at the door. Hold on, guys. Hello. >> Greetings, Earthling. >> The Aliens from Toy Story. >> Correct. Which movie? >> Oh, They made like four of those. They're making a fifth one. Uh, Toy Story 1. >> Correct. >> Oh, what are you guys doing here? >> Emperor Zurg. He's trying to kill us and probe our asses. >> Oh, no. Well, you guys could hide in here. >> Thank you. You saved our lives. We are eternally grateful. >> Okay. >> Who's at the door, Junior? >> Wait, where's Joseph? >> Oh, he went to the bathroom. He kept talking about feet and I think he had to G. >> Oh, you spilled some on your shirt. >> How did I? >> DAMN IT, JUNIOR. WHAT'S GOING ON? WHO ARE THEY? >> IT'S THE ALIENS FROM TOY STORY. >> You saved our lives. We are eternally grateful. >> You saved their lives. Well, they said they needed a place to hide and they said they could hide here. >> We will do anything to show our gratitude. >> Anything? >> Anything. >> Uh, Junior, I think you should tell them to thank me personally. >> But Cody, they each have one less eye than you, >> Junior. What are you talking about? They have three eyes and I have Oh, you. >> All right, freak. >> What are they doing here? >> Well, they said they're hiding from Emperor Zerg cuz he wants to probe their asses. >> Well, I think I need to have a little talk with this Emperor Zurg. Well, he's on the television right now. >> Attention puny humans. I am Emperor Ser. You will give me those aliens or I will probe all your asses. You have 120 seconds to decide. >> Oh no. >> Don't worry, aliens. We're not going to turn you into Emperor Zurg. Junior, can you help me get my pants off? I want to make it easy for Emperor Zerg. >> No, Cody. We got to turn them in. I don't want something in my ass. >> Okay, more for me then. >> Uh, what the hell? What are y'all talking about? >> Oh, hey Joseph. Well, these are the aliens from Toy Story 1. >> You saved our lives. We are eternally grateful. >> I saved their lives. They're eternally grateful. And um Emperor Zerg wants to probe their asses. And until we turn them in, Emperor Zurg's going to probe our asses. >> Guys, don't worry about Emperor Zerg. That's just Buzz Lightyear from the future. >> No, Cody. Lightyear suck. Lightyear's not canon. >> Yes, it is, Junior. It says right at the beginning of the movie, that's the movie Andy watched. >> Oh, yeah. So, Andy watched Lightyear, huh? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Okay. So, then why weren't these aliens in the Lightyear movie? Because in the Lightyear movie, there's no aliens, but in Toy Story 1, there's these aliens. So, why are they selling merch of aliens if they're not in the movie? Because in the TV show Buzz Lightyear, these aliens are in the show. Doesn't make any sense. And also, why in Toy Story 1, why was there no cat? You know, the cat, you know, the cat that's in the Lightyear movie. I'm sure they would have made merch of that cat in the Lightyear movie. I'm sure Andy would have wanted the cat to go with his Buzz Lightyear doll. >> Yeah, you're probably right. >> Yeah. No, it's so stupid. It's really dumb. And also, we we should probably get Buzz Lightyear's help. Buzz Lightyear, get in here. >> I am Mrs. Nesbet. >> Oh, he's not going to be any help at all. Oh, he just found out he's a toy. >> Yeah, he loaded. >> Yeah, like a baked potato. >> I like Herby. Fully loaded. >> There's someone at the door. Hold on, guys. If it's Zerg, I won't let him in. Hello. >> Hi. Yeah, I just wanted to let you know I accidentally ordered Taco Bell to your house cuz I'm over here a lot and I forgot to change the address on the app. So, I just want to let you know that so you don't think I'm stealing a package or something. Oh, >> okay. What'd you order? >> Oh, uh, a chalupa. Extra sour cream, of course. >> Sounds good. >> Yeah. Yeah, it's going to be >> So, you work for the military? >> Yeah. Yeah, I do, actually. Oh, well, there's two aliens on my couch upstairs. >> Ah, well, I'm actually off duty right now. I mean, there's going to be a lot of duty later after I eat this Taco Bell, you know, in the toilet because it makes me >> Oh, well, the aliens said that if we don't turn them into Emperor Zerg, we're going to get our ass probed. >> Well, nobody's going to want to probe my ass from all the all the all the duty. I'm going to have a poopy ass. >> You want to say hi to the aliens? >> You know what? Yeah. Yeah, I do. >> So, there are the aliens. >> Oh, they're Toy Story aliens. I didn't know that movie was real. >> Yeah. So apparently Emperor Zerg wants us to turn them in or he's going to probe our asses. >> Why is your shirt off? I was promised a good time. >> Beauty humans, your time is up. >> And there he is. Quick, everybody, run. Come on, Emperor Zurg. Give me all you got. I CAN TAKE IT. SHOVE IT IN. SHOVE IT RIGHT THE IN. >> UM, you can have the aliens. >> Yeah, please take them. >> Come here. Those tight asses are mine. >> Oh no, our tight asses. NO, IT SHOULD have been me. >> Okay. Um, well, the Earth is saved, huh? So, I'm just going to go home and eat my Taco Bell. >> I will lock the door behind you. >> Sorry, I ordered my food to your house. I'll make sure I check the address next time. >> Did you happen to order any extra chalupas? >> No, I just ordered enough for me, you know, cuz it's mine. I don't usually order more food for other people cuz it's not really my problem. >> Please humans. We're here to kill you. would kill us. Why? We already solved the problems or just left. >> Well, if you give us our alien kids back, come on. GET YOUR FEET OFF YOUR MAP. >> If you give us our alien kids back, we won't kill you. >> Oh, those were your kids? Well, look, we don't have them. ZERG ALREADY TOOK HIM. >> WHAT? WHAT? WHERE'S ZERG? WHERE ARE YOU? >> I DON'T KNOW. SPACE. Wherever planet he lives. I don't know. I just want to go home and eat MY TACO BELL. >> WHAT you order? >> A chalupa with extra sour cream. Of course. >> GET THE STEAK. HEY, MY CHALUPA. WE'LL soon next year. >> Next year? What do you mean next year? What does he mean next year? Is he coming back next year? What? But my chalupa. God damn it. Now I GOT TO WAIT TILL TOMORROW TO GET ANOTHER ONE. I DON'T WANT IT TOMORROW. I want it now. It's just been a whole day. I wish you'd killed me. >> You would have rather died than getting your chalupa. >> Yes, actually I would. I want to be dead. >> You want to be dead? >> I want to be dead cuz I don't have a chalupa. If I had a chalupa, I'd want to be alive, which I don't because I don't have a chalupa. >> Are they that good? >> They're that good. Yes. >> Well, alarm clock boy, our plan to take over the world is ALMOST IN EFFECT. YES, CLOCKMAN. >> NOW ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS DESTROY ALL THE CLOCKS IN the world so that only we know the time. And when PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW THE TIME, THEY WILL HAVE TO PAY US. AND THEY'LL HAVE TO PAY ME IF THEY WANT TO BE WOKEN UP ON TIME FOR WORK. IT'S GENIUS. >> BRILLIANT. BRILLIANT. BRILLIANT. >> BUT CORKMAN, HOW ARE WE GOING TO BREAK ALL THE CLOCKS IN THE WORLD? WELL, WITH MY CLOCK SMASHING HAMMER, OF COURSE. ALARM, CLOCKMAN. HAND ME THE HAMMER. VERY WELL, PORKMAN. >> NOW, BROADCAST US TO THE WORLD >> WITH PLEASURE. >> WOW, GUYS. Can you believe it's already almost 202025? >> What? >> What? Wait, >> what the did you say? >> Can you believe it's almost already 20 25? >> Yeah. All right, I'm taking this. >> Wait. >> All right. No. Yeah, 2024 went by really fast. >> Yes, it did. >> Yeah. Did anything happen this year that was even important? Like it just seemed like nothing big happened. >> Um uh well there was no this year was kind of a bust honestly. >> Yeah. So what's what's your guys' New Year's resolution? >> Oh, I'm going to quit drinking cuz apparently I need to stop. >> Yeah, you can't. No dates. >> Yeah, I'm sorry. >> What's yours, Jeffy? >> Well, my New Year's resolution is that when I my pants, I'm not going to scoot my ass across the ground like a dog and leave a snail trail of >> All right. Yeah, >> that's good. What about yours? I just want to feel better. >> Oh, you're sick? >> Mhm. >> Well, well, >> what about you, Marvin? >> Uh, mine's to not wear a tie anymore. >> Yeah, I I guess I really don't see the point. >> Yeah, I mean, I I I mean, I think it's doing too much. >> Yeah, I mean, you don't have a job or anything. You're just wearing a polo shirt with a clip-on tie. >> Okay, I might keep wearing it. >> I don't think you should. >> Well, let's turn on some TV to watch the the ball drop. >> Yeah. Yeah. Let's watch Christopher Watkins rocking New Year's Eve. >> Yeah, hit it. Hello and welcome to Christopher Walkkins Rocking New Year's Eve. I'm your host Christopher Walkan, star of such movies as Click and Kangaroo Jack. Tonight our musical guest is me, hitting the cowbell. I'm going to start hitting it. Hello people of the world. IT IS I, CLOCKMAN, >> AND I, THE ALARM CLOCK BOY. >> YOU'RE ALL VERY EXCITED for it to hit midnight so you can ring in THE NEW YEAR. BUT HOW WILL YOU KNOW WHEN MIDNIGHT IS WHEN WE DESTROY ALL THE CLOCKS IN THE WORLD? >> DO IT, CLOCKMAN. SHOW THEM YOUR SERIOUS. >> I'M NOT AROUND. >> TELL ME WHAT TIME IT IS NOW. >> ALL YOU DID WAS shatter the glass. We can still tell what time it is. >> What? I got this clock, man. >> NOW, HOW WILL YOU TELL the time? Well, that was only one clock. There's so many clocks in the world. >> WELL, I WILL DESTROY ALL THE CLOCKS LIKE THIS ONE. >> This one, CLOCKMAN. >> THANK YOU, ALARM CLOCK BOY. >> YES. BRING ME ALL OF YOUR CLOCKS SO I MAY DESTROY THEM. >> AND YOUR ALARM CLOCKS, TOO. >> WE'RE NOT JUST GOING to bring you our clocks. And we have other things that can tell time, like our phones >> and our cars. >> Yeah. >> Well, I I guess there are a lot of devices that can tell time. WELL, ATTENTION WORLD, BRING US ALL OF YOUR PHONES AND CARS AND MICROWAVES and ovens and refrigerators and watches. there are so many watches. Smart watches, Fitbits, stoves. >> Ooh, gaming consoles. >> Gaming consoles, TVs, really any smart device in your home. Anything with internet access, honestly. >> And the sun. >> And the sun. Sun dials are going to be a real problem. Clock Towers. >> BIG BEN. >> BIG BEN. SOMEBODY turn off Big Ben. Uh uh. Hello, Clock Boy. We may need to re-evaluate OUR PLAN. WELL, HOLD ON, WORLD, BECAUSE WE WILL BE BACK SHORTLY WITH MORE DEMANDS. >> OH, those guys are idiots. >> Marvin, do you really think they're going to come in and break all our clocks? >> There's no way they can physically go and break every single clock in the world. >> No, it's got to be like billions. >> Like trillions of things that tell time. >> Yeah, let's go back to watching Christopher Walkin. Damn it, alarm clock boy. We just embarrassed ourselves in front of the whole world. >> Well, I thought it was a good plan. >> How are we going TO DESTROY ALL THE CLOCKS of the world now? >> What if we EMP THE WHOLE WORLD? >> ALARM, CLOCK BOY. WE DON'T HAVE AN EMP. WE'RE NOT THE MILITARY. We are high school dropouts in my mother's basement. All we have is clocks and this hammer. >> Damn it. Wait, what if we go door to door and smash everyone's CLOCKS IN THE WORLD? >> YES. If Santa Claus can travel the world in one night, THEN SO CAN WE. ALARM CLOCKBOY, BROADCAST ME TO THE WORLD. >> I'm Christopher Walkin, and I like it when things are good, like kitty cat. >> Hello again, people of the world. We have perfected our plan. Me and Alarm Clock Boy are going to travel the whole world in one night and destroy everyone's clocks like Santa Claus. Well, we'll be traveling the world like Santa Claus, not delivering presents or eating cookies, just breaking clocks. SO, PLEASE DO NOT LOCK your doors because you WILL ONLY MAKE IT HARDER FOR US AND delay the inevitable. Come along, clock boy. We have many clocks to break. Many, many, many, MANY CLOCKS TO BREAK. COME UP. >> OH, NO, MARVIN. They're going to break into our house. >> What do we do? >> Lock the door. >> Jeffy, go lock the door. I I Captain. >> Good thinking. I don't know how you thought of that. >> All right, Jeffy, just lock the door. You can do this. No. Wait. Huh? Which one was it? Okay. Like that. Maybe like that. Left, down, right, up, left, down. Okay, I think we're good. All right, the door is locked. >> All right, let's enjoy our New Year's. >> Look, alarm clock boy, the first house. >> Our first victims. >> On the count of three, we will bust in there, break all of their clocks, and run out. >> With pleasure. >> One, two, THREE. NOW, alarm clock boy, WHERE ARE THE CLOCKS? >> OH, THERE'S ONE RIGHT OVER HERE. GO ON, GIVE IT A WHACK. >> THAT ONE'S DONE FOR. TO THE KITCHEN. >> LOOK, CLOCK MAN. THE MICROWAVE. >> GET THE TIME OFF. GET THE TIME OFF. >> GOT IT. GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY. THE STOVE. >> Got it. That does it for this house. ON TO THE NEXT. >> HEY, WHAT THE YOU GUYS DOING TO MY HOUSE? >> What's the matter? Is now a bad time? >> Hank, I think they destroyed our clocks. >> You can destroy my clock without the L. >> Why don't you ask the babysitter? >> You're probably right. All right, there's your brand new smart refrigerator. So, it's got the time on there. It's got a calendar. You can even go on YouTube, Facebook, or Instagram. It's basically a big ass iPad that keeps your food cold. >> DANG, THAT'S FANCY AS THANK YOU SO MUCH. >> YEAH, I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT. >> OH, YEAH. I definitely will. You too? No way. Look, alarm clock boy. Our next victims were making good time. AND >> LOOK WHAT YOU SAID WORKED. THE DOORS UNLOCKED. Everyone's listening. >> They fear us. >> Those mortals. >> Look, alarm clock boy. The time on the refrigerator. >> AND IT'S NOT THE WEATHER. >> IT IS. >> LOOK, CLOCKMAN. THIS FRIDGE EVEN HAS YOUTUBE AND FACEBOOK AND INSTAGRAM. MY GOLLY, WHAT DOES THIS FRIDGE NOT DO? SUCK MY >> FRIDGE. SUCK CLOCKMAN'S. >> I guess not. >> What is this white board? >> I don't know. LOOK, CLOCKMAN. YOU CAN DRAW ON IT. Let's see. We'll do that. Is that a clock? >> I believe so. >> WELL, ALONG CLOCK BOY, I don't want to destroy this. I want to keep it for myself. You know, destroying all of the clocks in the world is almost impossible. But if we stole all the refrigerators in the world, then only we would be able to keep things cold, and people would have to pay us to keep their food cold. >> Clothman, there's something I need to tell you about this idea of yours. >> What? It's genius. Let's go. >> Help me with the fridge. >> Guys, guys, guys, the ball is about to drop. It's 2025. Shh. >> I'm going to go to sleep. Baby, you can't go to sleep before the ball drops in your mouth. >> Marvin, >> I >> All right, time to drop the ball. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 >> Hello, world. You're probably WONDERING WHY YOUR CLOCKS AREN'T BROKEN. WELL, that's because we decided to move on to bigger and cooler things. REFRIGERATORS >> AND FREEZERS. If we steal all the refrigerators in the world, you'll have to come to us to keep your FOOD COLD. >> THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO COME TO ME if you want TO FREEZE YOUR PIZZAS OR YOUR ICE CREAM. >> SO you can call me refrigerator man. >> THEN YOU CAN CALL ME FREEZER BOY. And this this is Frozal to show you how cool I am. >> So continue to leave your doors unlocked because we're still coming by tonight TO STEAL YOUR REFRIGERATORS >> AND FREEZERS. >> COME FREEZER BOY. GOD, not these again. Trying to steal all the refrigerators is impossible. >> They're so heavy. Like, how would you store all of them? That's so stupid. It's so dumb. And we just missed the ball drop cuz they interrupted it. Happy 2025, everyone. >> Boss doesn't drop yet, right, Marvin? >> Marvin. >> All right, Freezer Boy. We're back at the first house now to break in and steal the refrigerator. >> And Freezer. Now, freezer boy, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I believe their freezer is attached to the refrigerator. >> You've obviously never seen a deep freezer before. >> Well, if they have one of those, we'll steal that, too. Now, get ready. One, two, three. >> Quick, freezer, boy. Let's steal the refrigerator for breaking my clocks and trying to steal my refrigerator. >> >> So guys, what do you want to do today? >> I don't know, dude. I'm bored. >> Cody, why do you seem like you're the >> WHOA. ARE THOSE TOY STORY BAND-AIDS? >> OH, they must be limited edition. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they are. >> Oh my god. Where'd you get those? >> TARGET. >> OH, >> TARGET. >> TARGET? WOW. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU could shop that little for rich people, >> right? >> Oh my god. What? What character draw on that? >> GET FORKY ON THAT >> I NEED A FORKY ONE. >> CAN WE PLEASE open up the band-aid so we get Forky? >> Please. And waste one of my Toy Story band-aids. I don't think so. >> Oh my god. >> How can we get one? >> Do you have a boo boo? >> No, I don't have a boo boo. >> What about an owie? >> No, I don't have an owie. >> Any ies? >> Sorry. No owie. No band-aid. We got to think of a way to get a boo boo or an owie so we can get a band-aid. >> Yeah, dude. >> You could scrape your on the concrete outside. Or you could get a paper cut or get a mosquito bite and scratch it too hard until it bleeds. >> Those all sound like they would hurt. >> Yeah. >> Um I don't want to scratch my leg on the the concrete. That would that would burn. >> Yeah, it would. >> I don't want to get a paper cut cuz those sting. >> Well, any owie is going to hurt. That's why it's called an owie. >> And falling down the stairs would be painful as hell, dude. >> He didn't suggest that. >> No, you can't put a band-aid on a concussion. >> I was thinking of some painful stuff. I guess the mosquito bites the best one, but how am I going to catch a mosquito and get them to bite me? >> Junior, we live in Florida. Let's just walk outside and let them bite us. >> Oh, good idea. Whoever gets the most MOSQUITO BITES WINS. >> OH, IT'S gonna be me. >> They love me. >> So, where are these mosquitoes at? >> Oh, dude. They're everywhere, and they're going to bite the out of me. They love black people. Cody, why do you have your shirt off? >> Oh, I'm just trying to maximize the mosquito bite area, but they're going to have to bite pretty hard if they want to get through my abs of steel. >> OH, THERE'S A MOSQUITO. OH, BITE ME. BITE ME. BITE ME. BITE ME. DON'T BITE ME. I CAUGHT IT FIRST. >> I DON'T WANT HIM TO BITE ME. I'M THE BIGGEST boo boo ever. THE BIGGEST BOOOO. >> WA! CODY, YOU'RE GETTING SWARMED. >> YEAH, THEY'RE biting the out of me. I'm getting bit as I should have taken my shorts off so they could bite my hog. >> Oh, Cody, they're all over you, dude. >> Come on, guys. Let's go get some Toy Story band-aids. >> Oh my god, you won. >> All right. >> Whoa, Cody, you got ate up. >> Yeah, dude. Yeah, like an all you can eat sauerkraut buffet. Helen Keller could read my ass right now. Hold on, guys. I'm going to take a selfie. # itchy as # Lilo and itch. Oh man, this is really itchy though. >> Well, we can open up the Toy Story band-aids now. >> Whoa. Hey, don't touch that box. That's for Itchy McGee over here. But but you guys can open one each cuz I think I'm going to need a lot of band-aids. This is really starting to hurt. >> All right, Josh, let's open our band-aids. See if we get Forky. >> Oh, yeah. Dude, I need Forky. Please hurry. >> Oh, dude. I got THE ALIEN ONE. >> I GOT FORKY. I GOT FORKY. >> HEY, I WANT FORKY. >> I WON. I GOT IT. >> I DON'T REALLY give a anymore, guys. Just put the band-aids on. >> Okay. Oh, where you want me to put it? >> Right here in this really big one I got on my armpit. That's the one. That's the one I really notice. >> Oh, okay. Can Could you do it for me? I don't really want to touch you. >> yeah. There we go. Sticky as There we go. That really That didn't really help a lot. >> So, what do you want the second one, dude? >> Oh, man. Oh, man. Just anywhere. It doesn't matter, guys. I I can't turn my neck. >> Oh, how you feeling? >> I'm feeling pretty nauseous, guys. Woo. >> Oh, damn. >> Um, do we call a doctor? >> Should I still put the band-aid on? >> Yeah, put on your forehead right there. >> So, Cody, is that feeling better? >> You look better. >> Yeah, buddy. Cheer up. Maybe we should call a doctor. >> Yeah, probably should. >> But let's open all the bandage up first. >> Oh, hell yeah, dude. >> Oh, Joseph, LOOK AT ALL THE CHARACTERS. >> I KNOW, DUDE. IT'S SO SICK. LOOK, I'm going to have to keep some for myself. Cody. Hey, there. Somebody call a doctor. Oh my god. Are those Toy Story band-aids? >> They sure are. >> Oh, sick. Is that Mr. Potato Head? >> Yep. >> Oh, sick. Is that Forky? >> Yes, sir. >> Oh, sick. >> Sorry, I'm sick. Hey, you know what else is sick? YouTubes? >> Yeah. Not Not like the band, though. No. You remember when Apple forced everybody to get a YouTube album just downloaded directly to their phone? Like, no thank you. Nobody wants that. I would actually pay for you to take that off of my phone. Yeah. No, nobody likes you, too. I I actually almost switched to an android because of that. I just couldn't deal with the green bubble, though. No. Every time I get a text with a green bubble, I I think they're texting me from prison cuz why else would there be a green bubble, you know? Just couldn't do it. Oh, YEAH. ANYWAY, YOUTUBETTOS, CHECK THIS OUT. It's Chef Pee P and Peas. How cool IS THAT? >> CHEF PEEP PAS. >> And look at this. It's a Marvin and Jeffy monitor buddy. They just sit on top of your monitor and they stare at you while you do what you do on your computer. I mean, I wouldn't want anybody staring at me while I do what I do on my computer. Wee wee time. But hey, these are pretty cool. You should go buy them. >> They're really cool. >> All right, so what's up with your friend? >> Well, doctor, HE >> OH, NO. QUICK, COVER THEM UP. THERE'S a bunch of snipers in here. them. Funny. You see, cuz it looks like lasers, like from a sniper. I mean, obviously not that many snipers could hide in here, but hey, hide your cats, right? Cuz the cats, they chase the lasers. Oh god, I am so funny. Well, what's going on with your friend? >> So, we wanted to be able to use the Toy Story Band-aid. >> Oh, understandably. >> So, we went outside to see who get bit by the most mosquitoes. >> Well, I think I know who won. Well, it should be pretty easy to diagnose. He probably has any number of diseases you get from mosquitoes. Like, it could be malaria or deni or zika or yellow fever. >> Well, he definitely was gay, so it could be the denay one. >> I mean, it could be all kinds of stuff. >> So, how do you test which one it was? Well, I'd have to do a spinal tap by shoving this big ass needle right in the spine and then taking out some spinal fluid. >> Oh, do it. >> Okay. >> Really? In there. See? Get that juice out. >> Oh god. >> Yeah. Yeah. This is pretty rough. >> Freak yeah. >> H. What is that flavor? Is that malaria? Hold on. Strawberry. Go back for that. Could be yellow fever. It's kind of a tang. Kind of a yellow fever tang. Hold on. No, that is chicken ga. >> What? What's chicken ga? >> Chicken guna beef for dinner tonight? >> No. Really though, that is West Nile virus. >> West Nile virus. Is he going to be okay? >> No. No. His organs are going to start shutting down. So, we're going to have to get him to the hospital and put him on life support. Come on, Buckaroo. >> See you later, Cody. Sweet dreams. Best wishes. >> Well, doctor, he's stable, but he's in a coma. >> Okay. I notified the family. >> Oh, when will they BE HERE? >> WHERE'S THAT ASS BOY AT? >> I THINK THAT'S THEM. >> WHERE'S MY SICK ASS SON RUNNING OUR DAUGHTER'S BILLS LIKE WE GOT MONEY AND HEY, GET YOUR FAKE ASS UP. YOU KNOW HE AIN'T GOT NO MONEY. GET YOUR ASS OFF. >> YEAH, DOCTOR. WHY IS HE being such a ass Well, ma'am, your son was bitten by a bunch of mosquitoes. So, my niece got bitten in the face by a pitbull and she didn't this much, but he's in a coma. He's on life support. >> SO, PULL THE DAMN PLUG. WE AIN'T GOT MONEY FOR ALL THIS >> YEAH, PULL THAT >> YEAH. WHERE IS IT AT? IS THIS THE DAMN PLUG? >> WAIT, NO, NO, NO. DON'T TOUCH THAT. YOU'LL KILL HIM. >> THAT'S THE GOAL. >> NO. NO. SIR, SIR, SIR. LISTEN. We can kill him if you want to. But first, his next akin has to agree. >> Okay. I am his next akin. I'm his daddy. He came out my nuts at >> Well, let's check his will. >> Where the hell this wheel at? >> Okay, I got it right here. Says, "I, Cody Nutiss, declare that this is my last will in testament. My next of kin is Ken." >> WHAT? THE GAY ASS BARBIE? >> YEAH, HE'S GOT LIKE A LITTLE GI Joe that he humps. Okay, so I guess we just have to ask Ken if we can kill Cody. Um, I'm here to say hi to Cody cuz I feel bad. I'm sorry you're so sick, Cody. Okay, bye. >> Hey. Hey, little boy. Have you seen Cody's little gay ass doll? >> Oh, yeah. It's on my couch at my house. >> Well, I guess we got to go to your couch. Come on. >> Damn it. >> Okay, guys. Ken's right there. >> Oh, good. This shouldn't take long. Hey there, Mr. Ken. Cody's in a coma on life support right now, and we want to kill him. So, all we need you to do is say yes. >> You better say yes, cuz we ain't paying no damn hospital bills cuz they going to follow your stupid ass. >> Yeah. So, what do you say, Ken? >> Get to talking. >> Oh, I see what's going on, Tyrone. He's trying to play hard ball. >> Okay. Well, me and my husband are swinging. >> Yeah. And I hit a home run every time. >> Yeah. So, if you say yes, I'll let you and my husband Eiffel Tower me. >> Ooh. Yeah. My baby freaky. You can't turn that down. Eiffel Tower. Bonjour. Me. My baby freaky. She like wee wee. So, what you say? >> Yeah. How about that? Oh, okay. How about two Eiffel Towers? >> Damn, baby. Oo, she she is very generous today. Two Eiffel Towers. >> H, okay. Dare I say three Eiffel Towers? >> Oh, WHAT? OH, YOU GREEDY THREE EIFFEL TOWERS. YOU DON'T EVEN OFFER ME THAT. >> YEAH, THAT'S more than France has, huh? >> Okay, Tyrone, he's starting to piss me off. >> I can see that, baby. He pissing me off, too. Three Eiffel Towers. >> Final offer. Three Eiffel Towers, a great wall of China, and I'll let you give me an Alabama Hot Pocket. >> WHAT? A ALABAMA HOT POCKET? YOU LUCKY DUCKY. OH, BUT SHE LONG OVERDUE FOR A HOT POCKET. OH, COME ON. COME ON. You better say yes. >> What? Tyrone, what's wrong with me? Why would nobody want to give me an Alabama hot pocket? >> I don't know, baby. Look, maybe he's just not in the feces. >> Oh, well, maybe he's gay. >> You know what? That might be it. He is. He looks gay. >> Yeah, I bet he's gay. You know what? Let's take him to the doctor to see if he's even alive. >> Yeah, we should do that. >> Yeah, these office should be resistant. >> Right. Come on, >> doctor. I think he's getting worse. >> Where is that next of Ken? Okay, doctor. We brought the doll. Okay, who is this? Oh, this is Ken, >> the gay one. >> Oh, well, did he say we could kill Cody? >> Yeah, he's not that talkative today. >> No, I offered him three Eiffel Towers in an Alabama hot pocket, and he just wouldn't budge. Really? Well, you know, we do accept other forms of payment here. Well, how many Eiffel Towers do we need to get this plug pulled? >> Let's say five Eiffel Towers. You've got yourself a deal. >> Doctor, I'm feeling a lot better now. Nurse, PULL THAT PLUG. >> BUT DOCTOR, HE'S AWAY. >> I SAID PULL IT. >> OKAY, >> PULL IT. GOD DAMN IT. >> WELL, we have a room in the back. >> >> It is time to play the next game. >> Oh, did you come up with one? I thought you were just going to give us a balloon and a stick and tell us to come up with a game ourselves. >> Shut up. >> Oh, we're playing the quiet game, everybody. Hey, she's giving clues to game. She should be fired. >> I wish we were playing the quiet game. For the next game, we are adding more players. >> Oh, Oh, there's no way. >> Hey, Marvin, what are you doing here? Hank, >> you just don't have any rules, do you? People are just doing whatever the hell you want. >> They were playing the same games as you, just in another room. >> Another room? How many groups do you have? >> This is the final group. >> So, that means there's 1 2 3 4 5 six people left. >> Very good, Marvin. That is six people. You know your numbers, but do you know your colors, too? >> UNCLE, WHY YOU CALL HIM FOR YOUR UNCLE? DID HE TOUCH YOU? >> KNOCK IT OFF. IT IS TIME TO play the next game. Follow me. >> Ow, that hurt. >> Hey guys, ready to watch people die for money? >> Hell yeah, I am. >> Mickey, I can't see in this thing. >> You're not SUPPOSED TO USE OUR REAL NAME, GOOFY, YOU DUMBASS. >> WELL, YOU JUST DID. STUPID piece of man. >> Hello, VIPs. Welcome to the Squid Games. >> Why is it called that? >> Yeah, I HATE CALAMARI. I ORDERED STANK. >> WHEN AM I GOING TO GET SOME CHAMPAGNE? I'm tired of staring at an empty glass. >> CAN I GET SOME SCISSORS? The genius that made this mess didn't give me any eyeholes. GOOFY, I SWEAR IF I HAVE TO HEAR YOU TALK ABOUT THAT MASK ONE MORE TIME. >> WELL, YOU'RE WEARING A GODDAMN BATMAN MASK. You can see clear as >> Well, you could have been Robin. ROBIN? >> WELL, I'M NOT GOING TO BE YOUR SIDEKICK. And the lady at the place said the chicken MASK HAD THE BIGGEST EYES. >> WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE TRIED THE CHICKEN MASK ON LIKE I DID WITH MY PAC-MAN MASK. >> OH, YEAH. WELL, HOW ABOUT YOU PULL A mask tool out of your ass so I can cut THIS THING OFF ME. >> OH, YOU KNOW WHAT, GOOFY? That's actually a really good idea. Oh, Toodles. Oh, wow. It looks LIKE TOODLES DOESN'T GIVE A >> GENTLEMEN, your waitress will be around shortly. >> Where's the bing bong who's running this game? >> Unfortunately, the chairman will not be able to attend tonight's game. >> Okay. Well, what game are we watching next? >> Tonight, we will be watching the glass bridge. The bridge is made out of glass tiles. If they picked the wrong one, they'd fall to their death. Neat. >> You better not copy that from Bridge to Terapia. BECAUSE IF YOU DID, I'LL sue your ass. YOU THINK $400 BILLION IS A LOT OF MONEY? OH, JUST FROZE INTO HIS NUT SACK WHEN HE DIED. >> THAT'S A PRETTY cool bridge. >> I wish I could see what you guys were talking about, BUT I'M STUCK INSIDE CHICKEN LITTLE'S ASS. >> OH MY GOD. IF SOMEONE DOESN'T BRING HIM A PAIR OF DAMN SCISSORS. >> GENTLEMEN, your waitress is here. >> I'm kind of in a rush. I'm the only guard left. >> I'll have some champagne. >> I'll have a double. >> Whoa. What do you think this game is? >> Oh, look. They actually have a budget for something. Hey, what are the rules for this game? >> This game is called Glass Bridge. When the time >> Hey, could you speak the hell up? You're way over there and we cannot hear ANYTHING YOU'RE SAYING. >> ARE YOU KIDDING ME? >> SEE THAT? Keep up that tone for all of it cuz the Siri voice IS NOT WORKING. >> THIS GAME IS called Glass Bridge. When the timer starts, you will cross the bridge in alphabetical order according to your name. Make it across the bridge before the time ends and you win. >> Thank you, honey. >> She's such a Okay. So, like what could kill us? We just walk across it? >> Yeah. Hey, what could kill us? >> Damn it. I thought he was just going to walk across. Yes. One tiny thing that could kill you. Some of these glass panels are made of tempered glass. >> Louder. >> Some of these glass panels are made of tempered glass that won't break if YOU STEP ON IT. THE OTHER IS REGULAR glass that will break if you step on it. You must pick the correct glass in order to MAKE IT ACROSS TO SAFETY. >> I feel like that's important information you should have said THE FIRST TIME. >> I HOPE YOU DIE. YOU, TOO. MARVIN, when I win that $400 billion, I'm going to trap her in a room with nothing but a tissue and a piece of corn and tell her to come up with a game to live. >> So, who crosses the glass bridge first? >> Well, she did say alphabetically, so who would that be? >> Uh, well, your first name is Brooklyn, so you'd be you. >> Nice try, but I actually go by Guy. So, who would be before G? Uh, you, Chef Pe. You're C. Uh, the not. My name is Pee, not Chef Pee. Chef is the title, dumbass. >> Oh, well, um, who else would that be? Uh, you, Hank. >> Well, G comes before H, so it'd be you again. >> Uh, well, guess what? I don't go by guy either. I actually go by my middle name, which is the letter T, so it would be Hank next. >> All right, I don't mind going. You guys didn't know this, but I used to work in the glass industry for 20 years, and I can tell the difference between tempered glass and not. >> Really? We got so lucky, we're going to live. >> All right. See, what you got to do is you just got to look for the light refractions in the glass. See, it reflects different. So, uh, let me just take A LOOK HERE. OH, THIS ONE RIGHT HERE'S GOT TO BE THE tempered glass. >> OH, NO. I guess he DIDN'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. >> WELL, I GUESS WE know which one to step on now. >> But not the next one. >> Well, who goes next? >> Uh, A B C D E F G H. >> Look at you, Marvin. You know your alphabets. >> Oh, listen. Jeffy's next. >> Okay, move on your way, I'm about to run this >> No, take your time, Jeffy. You got to take your time. You can't just keep jumping to the next one. >> Don't rush it, Jeffy. Take your time. YOU MIGHT DIE. >> DANG, THIS IS EASY. I'M GONNA DO THIS BACKWARDS. >> OH, I can't watch. >> Marvin, he did it. >> WAIT, NO WAY. >> AIN'T NO WAY, BRO. >> JEFFY, HOW'D YOU DO IT? >> DANG, THAT WAS EASY. >> GUYS, did anyone see what he stepped on? >> No, I was just shocked. >> Me, too. >> Jeffy, which one DID YOU STEP ON? >> A CIRCLE, TRIANGLE, left bumper, RIGHT BUMPER, LEFT, DOWN, right up. I think that's the cheat code for guns in Grand Theft Auto. >> NO, SERIOUSLY, JEFFY, WHICH WAS IT? >> I DON'T KNOW. DANG, I FORGOT I SPEED RAN THAT >> Oh my god. Okay, so who's next? >> Um, you are, Marvin. >> Me? >> Yeah, cuz it goes pee pee and then Suzanne and then me. So, you're M. >> Uh, my middle name is Zion. Your name ain't Zion. Stop lying. I got to see your ID. >> Um, no. No. Okay. Um, can someone help me with the next one? Does anyone know possibly what it could be the difference? Oh. Oh. Marvin, if we had something we could throw at the glass, you can hear the difference between tempered and regular glass. >> You can? >> Yeah. It's like night and day. >> Okay, I got I got to think of something to throw. Does anyone have anything to throw? Jeffy, do you have anything to throw? I got marbles in my ass. I can toss you one of those. I DON'T WANT A MARBLE THAT'S BEEN IN YOUR ASS, JEFFY. >> MARVIN, your life could depend on it. All of our lives depend on it. Get the shitty marble, Marvin. >> Okay, fine. Jeffy, toss me a marble. >> JEFFY, YOU MISSED. YOU MADE IT. WE LOST IT. YOU HAVE ANOTHER ONE, >> DANNY. I CAN SHOOT HIM OUT OF MY ASS like a BB gun. >> No, Jeffy. I just need one marble. >> All right, hold on. What? >> That sounds like tempered glass to me, Marvin. >> Wait, really? It does? >> Yeah. You It's a very distinctive sound. It's like a cat's meow. You just can't mistake it. >> Okay, so it must be this one. >> Oh my god, that was so close. >> What? >> Marvin, I have no idea what glass sounds like. Are you kidding me? So I JUST RISK MY LIFE? >> OF COURSE. WHAT DO YOU THINK? I WAS trying to help you. I've been screwing over everybody. >> So if Jeffy gives us more marbles, we won't be able to tell the difference? >> No, it doesn't matter. >> ARE YOU KIDDING ME? OKAY. WELL, I'm not moving forward. Someone else has to go. >> No, you have to go all the way. >> No. No. That isn't here. And we all know they don't enforce rules here. And I already risked my life for one square. So someone else come and do the next one. >> Yeah. Somebody whose letter comes before mine in the alphabet go before me. >> Uh, not me. >> I'll go. I've already lost my husband. Yeah, that's right. See, Marvin, she has bigger a ball than you. >> Yeah, you come up here and you do it. >> What an idiot. >> Which one could it be? >> Well, your husband worked in glass for Jeffy. Stop it. Make me. >> Your husband worked in glass for 20 years. Did he ever talk about glass with you? >> No. All he knew how to do was cheat on me with the babysitter. >> I don't know which ONE TO PICK. LET ME OUT. SOMEONE ELSE COME BEFORE ME. I DON'T WANT TO GO ANYMORE. >> OH, WELL, ACTUALLY, I THINK I can tell the difference. Really? >> YEAH, IT'S THAT ONE. >> I'M NOT AROUND. DAMN, MARVIN. YOU SAVAGE. I didn't think you had it in you. We kill him next. >> Oh, you do. >> All right, that means there's three tiles left and I'm still not moving, so someone better go first. >> Okay, PP goes next. >> God damn it. All right, you're right. Get out the way. Okay. All right. Move, Marvin. This grown full business. >> Okay. What do you think the next one is? >> I'm not sure. Does this one look like it has a weird tint to you? >> I mean, I can't TELL A DIFFERENCE. >> YOU CAN'T PUSH ME. I KNEW I WAS right though. >> You were right. Okay, so we only have two more left. What do you do the next one is? >> Uh, I'm not sure. >> STOP PUSHING ME. >> DAMN, I'M GOOD. >> WAIT, WE only have one more left. Okay, well, you actually have to do that one. You can't push me. I'm going to sit down. You have to actually choose. >> NO, THE HELL I DON'T. >> OKAY, WELL, I'M NOT MOVING. You chose. You made me risk my life for these two. So, you should jump on a real one, >> I guess. So, you are right. I didn't make you choose. Hold on. Which one is it? A >> NO. CHEF BB DIED. >> BUT HEY, LOOK, MARVIN, WE KNOW WHICH ONE TO STEP ON. It's right there. >> I can't believe Chef BB's dead. >> Hey, Marvin, I have a confession. >> What? >> I actually saw the ones that Jeffy stepped on. So, I could have saved all of you, but I wanted to eliminate a few people cuz I want that money for myself. >> You monster. >> Yeah, we can discuss that later. The time's about to end. >> >> OH MY GOD. LOOK AT MY EYES. MY EYES. >> WHAT THE WAS THE POINT OF THAT? WE MADE IT ACROSS, You're just going to shoot glass in our eyes. We don't even goggles. >> So, VIPs, did you enjoy the game? >> Hell yeah, I did. It was so cool. Three people died. >> And Marvin's still alive, so if I'm lucky, he'll win and I'll get his house payment money. >> Oh, I hope he dies. I hate that >> Well, I wish I COULD HAVE SEEN IT, BUT I CAN'T. JUST IGNORE HIM. WAIT, who died? I bet on the shelf named after a penis. Did he live? Hello? Am I talking to my self over here? IF YOU GUYS LEFT, I wouldn't be able to tell. >> Oh my GOD, HE'S DEAD. GOOFY. >> WELL, There goes ALL MY EXTREMELY GOOFY movie royalties. Max is going to be pissed. >> Oh wow. You know what? This champagne, it it tastes like hot dogs. >> It tastes like hot dogs. >> Yeah, IT TASTES LIKE PIGLET'S ASS CHEEKS. >> WELL, MICKEY, WHERE'S MY CHAMPAGNE? It's >> right there, Goofy. Oh, cuz I know where right there IS, CUZ I CAN SEE. >> I DON'T KNOW. WHY'D YOU REACH AROUND? >> IF I STAYED HOME, I CAN GET A reach around from Clarabel. >> Yeah, EVERYONE HAS, BUDDY. >> OH MY GOD, YOU MADE A MESS. >> WELL, IT'S NOT MY FAULT. I CAN'T STAY IN THIS STUPID ASS MESS. I'M GOING TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AND WHACK OFF. >> OH my god, I AM SO SORRY I BROUGHT HIM. HE'S KIND OF JUST LIKE A tag along. Hey guys, what you doing? >> Sitting on the couch >> and >> watching TV. >> Do you know what today is? >> Sunday. >> Okay, Jeffy, do you know what today is? >> Eeyore has a nail in his ass. >> Yes, he does. Jeffy, >> how's he poop? >> I don't know, Jeffy. >> Why don't you do that? >> I don't know, Jeffy. >> I'm going to do that. Okay, Marvin, do you know what's special about this Sunday? >> The Minnesota Timberwolves are playing the Denver Nuggets. >> I don't know what any of that means. Jeffy, do you know what's special about this Sunday? >> If a girl sits on Pinocchio's face and he tells a lie, what will happen? >> You guys, it's Mother's Day. >> Oh, yeah. It is Mother's Day, baby. I I I remembered that. >> No, you didn't, Marvin. You didn't even wish me happy Mother's Day. >> Well, you're not my mom, so I don't have to say that to you. >> Well, Marvin, come on. Jeffy, are you going to wish me happy Mother's Day? >> Eeyore has a nail in his ass. >> You guys forgot? >> Way to not forget. Jeffy made you something for Mother's Day. >> He did? >> I did? >> Yeah, Jeffy, you did. So, go to the kitchen and grab it. >> Marvin, did Jeffy really make me something for Mother's Day? >> He did. He's grabbing it right now. >> I couldn't find it. >> Jeffy, go grab what you made her for Mother's Day. >> But I didn't make her any day. >> I know. Go make her something really quick in the kitchen. All right, I'm going go do that. >> Yeah, go do it. He's grabbing a baby. He just forgot. I told him where it was. >> I'm going to make my mommy a cake for Mother's Day. I'm going to start with marshmallows. More marshmallows. Macaroni and cheese. Some syrup. All right. Now, I got TO PUT IT IN THE MICROWAVE. START. Now we wait. It's okay if I stand this close to the microwave because this is how I got so smart. Oh, I think it's done. All right, it's done. And I wrote wow on it because wow, that's a yummy cake. >> All right, mommy. I got your Mother's Day present. I made you a cake. >> Oh, wow. >> Glad you could read. I put wow on it because wow, that's a yummy cake. >> Or if you flip the cake around, it says mom for Mother's Day. Well, I'm not going to flip it around because that wasn't my intention. >> Well, Jeffy, the cake looks delicious. What's in it? >> Let me tell you. Marshmallows, macaroni, syrup. Yummy. >> That does sound yummy, Jeffy. Thank you. >> Eat it. >> Okay. Delicious. >> Eat all of it. >> Well, Jeffy, I can't because I don't have a fork. >> I'll go get you one. >> Well, Jeffy, you know what? I'm actually kind of full already. >> You know what? You see this You see this You're going to eat this Okay. Okay, >> baby. You're not going to actually eat that, are you? >> I'll at least have a couple of bites, Marvin, for Jeffy. >> He wants you to eat the whole thing. >> I'm not going to eat the whole thing, Marvin. >> I wouldn't eat any of it. It looks disgusting. >> Well, you know what? At least he got me something for Mother's Day. What did you get me? >> Well, I was thinking for Mother's Day, maybe you could give me a Blumkin. >> Ew, Marvin. No, that's disgusting. >> Oh, come on. Just at least try it. >> No, Marvin. I would never ever ever ever in a million years ever try that. IT'S GROSS. WOW. YOU SAID MY CAKE IS GROSS. >> WHAT? JEFFY, NO. I WASN'T TALKING about your cake. >> THEN WHAT WERE YOU TALKING ABOUT? >> I'm sorry, Jeffy. I can't tell you. IT'S TOO DISGUSTING. >> BECAUSE YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT MY CAKE, YOU >> NO, I WASN'T. JEFFY, >> YOU'RE A BAD MOMMY. YOU'RE NOT EVEN MY REAL MOMMY. >> JEFFY, GO TO YOUR ROOM. >> NO, I HOPE YOU GUYS CHOKE AND DIE ON MY MACARONI AND MARSHMALLOW CAKE. He didn't mean it. was lumpin maybe MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. >> I HATE MY MOMMY. SHE'S NOT EVEN MY REAL MOMMY. I'M GOING TO JUMP OUT THIS WINDOW AND RUN AWAY AND FIND A NEW MOMMY THAT'LL LIGHT MY MARSHMALLOW MACARONI syrup cake. See you later, crappy mommy. >> Baby, stop crying. >> But Jeffy hates me. He said I'm not his real mom. >> To be fair, you're not his real mom. >> Marvin. Babe, his real mom is dead. And you know the bad stuff his real mom did. You're way better than her. >> I'm the worst stepmom ever. >> No, he just wanted you to try his disgusting cake. >> I should have. >> Well, you were going to, but then you turned down the blump. See, if you wouldn't have turned down my blump offer, you wouldn't have said all that gross stuff and made him think you're talking about his cake. >> But Marvin, it is gross. It's disgusting. >> Hey, I wouldn't say that too loud. He'd probably think you're still talking about his cake. A >> listen, I'm going to go talk to Jeffy and let him know this is a big misunderstanding. >> Thank you, Marvin. >> Yeah. And if this works, you might want to reconsider the Bleroni and cheese. >> No. >> Hey, Jeffy. Rose is very upset. She's upset that you called her a bad mom. And she's not a bad mom. She didn't say your cake was disgusting. She said that me asking for a Blumkin was disgusting. You see, a blumpin's when you're using the bath. Jeffy. Jeffy. The window. Jeffy. Jeffy. Oh my god. He escaped. Well, not escape. He ran away. ROSE. ROSE. >> WHAT? Jeffy ran away out the window. >> Oh no, Marvin, where would he go? >> I don't know. >> Marvin, we have to call the cops. It's not safe for him out there. >> Why wouldn't outside be safe for Jeffy? >> Marvin, he's 19 years old. He wears a diaper on the outside of his pants. He has a helmet on his head and a pencil in his nose. >> You're right. He might think a stop sign's a giant popsicle. We have to call the cops. >> Yes, CALL THEM REAL QUICK. >> Hey there, somebody call the cops. >> Yes, officer. Wait, where's the other cop? >> Uh, he went out of town for Mother's Day. >> A He took his mom somewhere for Mother's Day. No, he wanted to get as far away from his mom as possible. He hates her. >> Oh, that's sad. >> Well, between me and you, I love her. She gives me blumpkins. >> Ew. >> Lucky. >> Marvin. >> Anyway, why'd you call me? >> Oh, well, our son ran away. >> Well, how long's he been missing? >> About 5 minutes. >> All right. Well, 5 minutes. We usually don't look for anybody until they've been missing for 3 days. >> Well, our son is very special. He has a strength of 10 men. >> Oh, I got what you mean. All right. What's he look like? >> Well, he has a blue helmet on his head, a pencil on his nose, and a yellow shirt. Hold on. Hold on. I got to do a police sketch of this. Let me go get my materials. All right. Explain what he looks like. >> Okay. He has a blue helmet on his head. He has a pencil in his nose. He wears jeans and a diaper over his jeans. He has his name on his shirt, which is yellow. He has blue eyes and buck teeth. >> Is this your son? >> That's a minion. >> I know, but is it your son? >> No, that's not my son. >> Also, Jeffy's eyes are crooked. >> All right. Well, I can imagine that. >> Okay. And imagine him being a human and looking nothing like a minion. >> Well, you want me to throw this away? >> Actually, can I keep it? >> Sure, ma'am. Here you go. >> A Thank you. >> I accept tips. >> Oh, here you go. >> Thank you, ma'am. And I also do caricatures if you guys are interested in that. >> Please. >> No, we don't have time for that. We got to find Jeffy. >> Marvin, come on. Please. >> How long does it take? >> About 15 minutes. >> 15 minutes? We don't have 15 minutes, baby. >> Marvin, it won't take too long. >> Yeah, Marvin, it is Mother's Day. >> Okay, fine. Hurry up. >> All right. >> New mommies, where are you? >> There's your mommy over here. You >> really? >> Yeah. Come a little closer. >> I'm coming. >> Come a little even closer. >> I'm on my way. >> Even closer. >> Okay. >> Come closer. >> I'm coming. >> You're almost there. >> Here I am. What's going on? >> Hey, Dad. Jeffy. >> Mommy. >> You thought you could kill me, huh? Well, now I'm going TO KILL YOU. NO. DADDY, help me. >> Oops. I moved. >> Oh, no worries, ma'am. I'm not looking at you guys anymore. I'm actually done. What? What is that? >> It's you begging for a blumpin. >> Ew. >> That's actually very accurate. >> Hey, why do I look so chunky? >> Don't blame the artist. Blame yourself. I'd probably lay off the bread sticks at Olive Garden. >> But I like the bread sticks. >> Anyway, that'll be 20 bucks. >> Okay, here you go. >> Thank you, ma'am. >> You know, Marvin, actually, I kind of like it. >> I like it, too. It's very accurate. I just wish it happened in real life. Anyway, let's go look for Jeffy. Please. >> Actually, I do magic tricks. >> We don't have time for magic tricks. >> BUT MARVIN, I WANT TO SEE a magic trick. >> We don't have time for it. We're not doing a magic trick. >> Marvin, please. >> Okay, fine. This is the last thing we're doing. >> All right, pull my sleeve. >> Marvin, look. It just keeps going and going and going. It's stuck. OH. OH. OH, >> YOU ALMOST got it. >> Oh, still some more left. This is awesome, man. Oh, it's stuck. It's stuck in here. I got it. >> There you go. You got it. All right. That'll be 20 bucks. >> Okay. The trick didn't even work all the way. It got stuck in your shirt over and over. >> No. Well, at least I can juggle. >> No, we're not doing No. No juggling. No juggling. Go find Jeffy, please. >> All right. Your son, the minion. Got it. >> He's not a minion. >> I'm going to chop you up limb by limb. I'd rather you just shoot me. >> Nah, that's too quick. I want to make you suffer for what you did to me. So, which arm do you LIKE THE MOST? SOMEBODY HELP ME. DON'T WANT TO ANSWER? WELL, I'll just choose for you. Right on. Hey, kid. You're okay. My mommy trying to kill me. Well, maybe you should have appreciated your other mommy more. Yeah, I guess you're right. COME ON, JEFFY. WAKE UP. WAKE UP, JEFFY. >> WAKE UP, JEFFY. WAKE UP. WAKE UP. >> OH, WHAT'S GOING ON, >> JEFFY? YOU FELL ASLEEP AND YOU LEFT the microwave on FOR 30 MINUTES WITH MARSHMALLOWS IN IT. You almost drowned the whole house in marshmallows cuz you forgot to make Rose a MOTHER'S DAY GIFT. >> MARVIN, DON'T YELL AT HIM BECAUSE HE FORGOT ABOUT MOTHER'S DAY. >> OH, GREAT. Now she knows about it. Good going, JEFFY. DANNY, I HAD THE WEIRDEST DREAM. I HAD A DREAM THAT YOU WERE TRYING TO GET A BLUMKIN AND THEN A POLICE OFFICER CAME AND DREW YOU TRYING TO GET A BLUMIN. JEFFY, what the heck's a blumpin? I'll explain when you're older. AND THEN MY DEAD MOMMY CAME BACK AND TIED ME UP AND TRIED TO KILL ME. I I DON'T care about your stupid dumb dream, Jeffy. All I care about is that you forgot Mother's Day. So, tell Rose happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day, Mommy. I love you so much and you're the best mommy ever. >> Thank you, Jeffy. >> Now, eat it, >> Jeffy. Please don't make me eat that. >> You see this You're going to eat this Get her a fork, Jeffy. Oh. >> Oh. >> >> ALL RIGHT, CRAFTS. TODAY WE'RE GOING TO BE DOING A historic disaster project. So, each of you are going to pick a disaster from history and create a replica and present it to the crafts. Can it be any historical disaster? >> Rarely any disaster. I don't give The worst the better. >> Yes, I'm doing 911. >> Junior, don't say that. >> What? Cody, I'm only one of two people to ever say that sentence. Actually, there was 19 hijackers. Has bin Laden. I'm one of 21 people to ever say that. >> I know what I'm doing. And let's just say it shook the world. >> I know what I'm going to do. It was one of the worst disasters ever. >> I wonder if anybody's wondering what I'm going to do. >> What are you going to do, Cody? >> Oh, I don't know. There's just so many to choose from. Do I do the Titanic or maybe Chernobyl or the California wildfires? I don't know. >> Oh, guys, I'm going to go home right now and get started on my project. H. Junior, are you really going to do 9/11? >> Um, well, for the FBI listening, no. But for my school project, yes. Let me practice my throw. >> Actually, you know what? Maybe. Actually, be very concerned. I might actually do it. >> Where the is at? >> Ooh. Joseph, what's your project going to be? >> Oh, that was a hint. You'll see. >> I can't imagine. >> So, Cody, what's your project going to be? >> Oh, I don't know. You know, I just really want to go out with a boom, you know? I really want to go out with a bang. I really want to go out with an eruption. I'm trying to hint what it's going to be. >> Oh, can you say those again? I wasn't listening anything they were. >> You can find out tomorrow. >> But a boom and a bang and a pow. I'm going to practice my throwing. >> All right. I hope you all did your historic disaster project. I'm going to call you up one by one to present your disaster to the craft. Now, who wants to go first? >> OOH. CAN I GO FIRST? I PROMISE YOU'LL NEVER FORGET IT. >> OKAY, JUNIOR, you come up here first. >> All right, class. My project is on 9/11. September 11th, 2001. 8:46 a.m. American Airlines Flight 11 hits the North Tower. Um, teacher, can you hand me that? I missed. >> I was supposed to hit this tower. It's hard to aim. God damn. How'd they get ON THE FIRST TRY TWICE IN a row? God, those are pros. >> Boom. The first tower gets hit. >> Junior, stop. 9:03 a.m. United Airlines Flight 175 crashes into the South Tower. Oh my god, how good were those pilots? They hire pros. Was Sully Sullenberger, whatever the his name was doing it. That's why jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams. They had goddamn detonators in that. Okay, that's it. Give me the plane. And then somewhere in Pennsylvania. The end. >> Very good, Junior. Go sit down. >> Beat that, guys. >> I mean, 911 is a pretty tough act of terrorism to follow. >> Uh, teacher, I want to go next. I'm about to make history in this >> All right, Joseph. What's your historic disaster? >> I don't want to give it away. Look, all I got to do is say one sentence. I have a dream. Did y'all get it? That's Martin Luther King. He got his ass assassinated. >> All right. Very good. Joseph, go sit down. All right. Who wants to go next? >> Y'all like that huh? >> Joseph, that wasn't fair. That was a really cheap project. All you had to do is be black. >> Nuh-uh. That wasn't a cheat code. I had to research what he said and memorize the line. That was really hard. >> That's not even the speech he got shot during. >> Well, Mr. Pan, since you know everything, why didn't you dress up like him? >> I don't think that would have been a good idea. >> Yeah, Blackface wouldn't have worked in class. >> Wait, why? >> Uh, teacher, I'll go next. Hey, everybody. My historic disaster is the eruption of Mount Vuvius, which destroyed the city of Pompei. See right there? You have all the hunky Romans in Pompei just sunbathing, minding their own business, and then all of a sudden, tragedy strikes. Whoa, there she blows. So, as you can see, the molten lava smothered all the hunky Romans and covered them in hot ash. They had hot ash on their hot asses. It was really hot. But, but 2,000 people did die, though. Only 2,000 people. You're telling me that big ass volcano surrounding that entire island couldn't outdo 911? Yeah, those are rookie numbers compared to 911. And what kind of dumb, stupid disaster is that? All those people saw that volcano erupting and they didn't hop on a plane and fly away. They wanted to die. Why didn't they get on a plane, Junior? This happened in 79, the year 79. Like, you know how we live in 2025? Well, this volcano erupted in 79. Planes weren't even invented until 1903. If these people saw a plane, they would scratch their eyes out because they wouldn't know what they were looking at. They would lose their minds. They would think it was like some kind of metal dragon or some They would think it was magic. They still believed in magic in 79. >> Thank you, Cody. >> You're welcome. >> Who wants to go next? >> Wow, Junior. Thanks for interrupting my project. I thought the volcano eruption I did was pretty sick. >> I just think that Pompei is pretty dumb for an actual like disaster. Like, they knew they were living next to a volcano. They could have just got up and moved. >> Well, no, they didn't know because they didn't know volcanoes existed. They actually didn't even have a word in their language for volcano. They just thought they lived next to a mountain till it exploded and started squirting lava all over the place. >> Why didn't they just pull out their phone and check Google Maps to see if they live by a volcano? >> It was 79 AD, Junior. They didn't have Google yet. They didn't even have phones. >> What? That was before phones? >> Way before phones. Most of human history is before phones. >> Oh my god. I should have done my project on that. That sounds like a disaster. >> Teacher, I'll go next. >> All right, class. So, I did my project on the worst disaster in the history OF THE WORLD, THE POTATO FAMINE. OKAY? SO, imagine you have a bunch of this. Like, you have this and then then you have none of that and that's all you eat. And so, millions of you die. Okay. Let me let me let me get into detail. Okay. >> >> The great famine, also known as the great hunger, the famine and the Irish potato famine, was a period of mass starvation. >> Did you just say masturbation? >> No, Junior. Mass starvation. >> So, they weren't jacking off the potatoes? >> No. And disease in Ireland lasting from 1845 to 1852 that constituted a historical social crisis. God, this is so boring, dude. She could put anybody to sleep. >> I think it's pretty interesting, guys. If you guys pay attention, you might actually guess WE'RE IN THE >> JESUS CHRIST. NO ONE GIVES A FLYING LOOK, THE POTATO FAMINE. BUNCH OF PEOPLE DIDN'T HAVE ANY POTATOES, SO THEY ALL STARVE to death. Go sit down. A >> Anybody else have a project that's not boring AS CAN COME UP NEXT? >> OKAY, I'll go next. Let's get this over with. Okay, so this is my historic disaster. >> >> It's co. >> OH, VERY CLEVER. BUT you know my ancestors actually invented the co virus. Very good. Go sit down. All right. Who wants to go next? >> I guess I'm going to go next. Hi everybody. My historical disaster is the Hindenburg. That was a big blimp full of people and then it caught on fire and it exploded. So this is what happened. Well, it wasn't a guy with a lighter cuz he would have to be a really big guy with a big lighter or really tiny blimp and that will be crazy. But this is basically how it went. Wow. We're all having fun in the sky in our big blimp. The hingen boy. Oh no. Oh, the humanity. Almost everybody died. The end. Isn't that crazy? >> Very good. Go sit down. All right. Who wants to go next? >> What do you think, ladies? Are they ready for the PJ? Yeah, PJ, go up there and whip it out. >> Yeah, PJ, go show them your project. >> Come on. Hey, everybody. Are you ready to hear about the coolest disaster in history? The Challenger disaster. Now, I'm cool, but nothing's as cool as the weather was that day. The engineers almost got the launch cancelled cuz they were worried that the record low temperatures would cause the O-rings to fail. But the project manager didn't want to wait until April to launch when the weather got warmer. So, they decided to launch anyway. But then the cold temperatures caused the O-rings to compress and leak hot gas, which ignited the fuel compartment, causing the whole shuttle to explode 73 seconds after launch at an altitude of 46,000 ft and killing everyone on board, including the first female teacher in space, which was supposed to be Big Bird, but his costume was too big and there were logistical challenges, so he didn't come. All right, ladies, show them what happened. >> Comoo. >> Houston, we have a problem. >> Not exactly what we practiced, but not bad. All right, PJ. Very good. Now go sit out. All right. Who wants to go next? Wait, am I the only one left? You saved the best for last. ALL RIGHT. MY HISTORIC DISASTER is when the meteor hit the earth and made the dinosaurs go extinct. Allow me to demonstrate, but give me a second. OH, GOD DAMN IT, JEFFY. YOU PUT A GODDAMN HOLE IN MY WALL, BUT VERY ACCURATE representation of what happened. So, GO SIT DOWN. ALL RIGHT, CRASH. THAT DOES IT FOR THE HISTORIC disaster project. So, since everyone completed that project, you all get a A. >> Wait, wait. But which one of our disasters was the worst? >> H, that's a good question. The media killed all the dinosaurs, but the dinosaurs are people. And Pompei killed 2,000. 9/11 killed 2900. So, I guess technically Penelopey's boring ass potato filming killed the most because it was a million PEOPLE WHO DIED. >> REALLY? >> WELL, ACTUALLY, SCIENTIFICALLY, THEORETICALLY, UH, Bordy Wins because CO killed 7 million people. >> yeah. I didn't even try. I'm good at this school stuff. >> Okay, but which one was the coolest disaster? >> Junior, none of them are cool. They're all disasters. >> You know what was a disaster? You being born. >> That was mean. >> Oh, that actually was pretty up. I I'm sorry. Um, well, actually, I think the coolest disaster technically was PJ's because the O-rings got cold and it exploded. >> I mean, that was the coldest. Yeah. >> You know what else is the coldest? These nuts in your mom's mouth, >> Junior. That doesn't even make sense. Well, you you have cold nuts. >> Well, maybe maybe it's cold out. Maybe I Maybe I sat on some ice cubes. >> Why? >> I don't Shut up. >> >> Hey, Jonathan. Mama's having a yard sale to pay for an operation. You got anything I can sell? >> JONATHAN. DAMN IT. He's sleeping. I guess I'll just grab whatever I want. What about this Hulk? Nah. Oh, what's this? Ooh, noody mags. I can get a lot of money for that. Thanks, JONATHAN. OH, SUKI, I saw you left. Don't ever leave me. You know, daddy takes really good care of you. I'll give those idoes a rest. I just read one of my nerdy mags. So, which magazine should I look at today? WAIT, WHERE'S MY MAGAZINES? THAT WAS just right here. SUKI, DID YOU TAKE MY MAGAZINES? DON'T YOU LIE TO ME. >> OH, MOM. YARD SALE. EVERYTHING'S FOR SALE. >> OH, DUDE, THERE'S A YARD SALE. OH, THEY HAVE TO have good stuff here. LIKE THIS. OH, THEY HAVE A COMB. I ALWAYS WANTED a comb. >> Joseph, you can't use a comb. You're bald. >> Dang it. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE RIGHT? >> OOH, JUNIOR, LOOK. Cleaning supplies. >> Of course you want cleaning supplies. You're a woman. It's your natural instinct. >> Shut up, JUNIOR. >> BRO, BRO, CHECK THIS OUT. THEY HAVE NUDIE MAGS. >> WA! WHO IS THAT? She's so hot. >> Junior, stop looking at that. >> What are these? >> It's Playboy. You never heard of Playboy? The women get naked in the magazine. >> You're telling me if I buy this magazine, I get to see her naked? >> Yeah, dude. They're in their birthday suit, not their bathing suits. >> Junior, if you buy that, I'm breaking up with you. >> Okay, fine. I won't buy it. >> Okay, let's go. >> Dude, >> it's Joseph, go distract her. >> Oh, okay. I got you. I got you. HEY, PENELOPE. >> OW, THAT HURT. >> TAG, you're it. >> That's it. I'm going to get you. >> How much for all these nudie mags? >> $200. >> I only have $14. >> Sold. But be careful. You might cut your hand on it and some of the pages stick together. >> Oh, because they're so old. >> Yeah, that. Or maybe because my son spanked it too much. >> Okay, so I can have all these magazines. >> Yeah, take them. >> Oh my god, I get to see her naked. >> 10, 11, 12, 13, 14. >> Excuse me, ma'am, but how much for this baseball? >> 100 bucks cuz it was signed by a famous baseball player. >> Who's it signed by? >> Who do you want it to be signed by? >> Uh, Babe Wolf. >> Oh, well, that's who signed it. >> It is? >> Yeah. Just give him a minute. How's your day going, kid? Uh, pretty good, I guess. >> Good. All right. Here. Baseball signed by Baby Ruth. 100 bucks. >> Oh, no freaking way, bro. >> All right. WELL, THEN YOU. >> MOM, HAVE YOU SEEN my nudie mugs? >> Yeah, I just SOLD THEM FOR $14. >> YOU WHAT? >> WELL, YOU WEREN'T using them. THEY WERE SITTING UNDER YOUR BED ALL CRUSTY. >> That's where I kicked him. You know, Dad, AND I MADE HIM CRUSTY. >> WELL, YOU CAN ALWAYS BUY NEW ONES CUZ YOU KNOW MAMA NEEDS THE MONEY FOR THAT NEW PROCEDURE. >> I CAN'T BUY NEW ONES. THEY WERE LIMITED EDITION. WELL, MY NEW TITS ARE GOING TO BE LIMITED EDITION. >> WELL, WHERE DID THEY GO? >> THEY WENT THAT WAY. >> HEY, COME BACK HERE. >> OH, MAN. I can't believe I have all these Playboy magazines and I get to see her naked. >> Oh, dude. Dude, PENELOPEY'S COMING. >> HELP ME HIDE THE MAGAZINE. >> TAG, YOU'RE IT. >> A I don't want to play tag. >> Oh, you're just mad because I got you. >> You're right. I'm such a sore loser. >> Well, Junior, do you want to watch a movie? We can get UNDER THE >> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. I DON'T want to watch a movie with you. >> Why not? >> Because you smell bad. You've been playing outside. >> What? You're a boy. Boys smell bad. >> Well, you smell like old dry period. >> What? >> Yeah. So, go home and take a shower, then come back. We'll watch a movie. >> No, Junior. Once I leave, I'm gone. >> Bye. >> I hate you. >> All right, Joseph. Look, I have the holy grail of naked magazines. >> Dude, no way. You own all of these? >> Yeah, I only had to pay $14. >> Oh, that's a sweet deal. >> And I finally get to see this girl naked. >> This is a Hooters edition. OH, IT'S SCRATCHY SNIFF. OH, it's scratch and sniff. Yeah, scratch and sniff. Oh, it smells like fish. E, I love it. Oh, this I'm KEEPING THIS ONE. >> DAMN. DAMN. >> JUNIOR, CHEF'S COMING. HIDE HIM. Hide him. Hide him. Hide him. HIDE HIM. HIDE IT. HIDE HIM. JUNIOR. >> YEAH. CHEF PEEPI, DID YOU STEAL $14 OUT OF MY WALLET? >> NO. JUNIOR, don't lie to me. THAT IS THREE YEARS PAY. I NEED MY MONEY. SO, RENT THEM DEAD POCKETS. WHERE MY AT? RUN THEM POCKETS, FOOL. >> I DID NOT STEAL YOUR $14, Chef Peep. I borrowed it. >> WHAT DID YOU BUY WITH MY $14? >> UH, promise me you don't get mad if I just tell you. >> I promise I won't get mad. What did you buy? >> I bought this blanket. >> I KNEW YOU DID NOT BUY A DAMN BLANKET WITH MY MONEY. DAMN BLANKET. >> DAMN. >> WHERE DID YOU GET ALL this from? >> Uh, I bought it from a garage sale and I I I used the $14. Please don't tell my dad. >> You know what? I won't tell your dad if I get to keep this Pam Anderson edition. Pandemonium. >> Yeah, that's me and Joseph's favorite. >> Oh, it's my favorite now and I'M KEEPING IT. >> NO, THAT'S THE ONE I WANTED. >> A DUDE took the best one. >> Don't worry, Joseph. There's probably better ones. >> A, this one's lame. She's in a bikini. I NEED FOUR NUDITY BIG BOOBIES. >> HEY GUYS, WHAT are you doing? >> Okay, Jeffy, don't tell anyone, but I bought these naked magazines at a yard sale. >> Wait, these girls in these magazines get naked? >> I think so. That's what I was told. >> OH, DIBS ON THIS ONE. >> NO, NO, NO. THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND. I WANT to see her. >> Oh, no. Junior, check this one out. >> Oh my. Is she naked? >> OH, BUSH LIKE A PORCUPINE. JUNIOR, CHECK IT OUT. >> WHO'S HE? Oh my god. >> Yeah, it looks like she's smuggling a ferret. >> Joseph, you have to come see this. >> Oh, dude. Let me CHECK IT OUT. DAMN, SHE IS SO HOT. Do you think all girls look like this? >> Not all of them. >> Oh my god. Well, look, take this one down. That one's mine. I don't want you seeing her. >> All right. WELL, WHICH ONE CAN I HAVE? >> You can pick from any of these, but this one is mine. >> All right. Um, no. The twins. Dibs on the twins, Junior. >> Oh, lucky. >> All right. Don't get caught with that, Jeffy. Come on. Come on, Joseph. Let's take these to my room. >> Okay, bro. There's just no customers today. How am I going to AFFORD MY NEW TITS NOW? EXCUSE ME, MA'AM. WHOSE ASS is this pickle bin in? Whose ass do you WANT IT TO BE IN? SIMMONS? That's right, ma'am. I came by to see if you're operating with a business license, cuz if not, I'm going to HAVE TO SHUT YOU DOWN. OH, NO, MR. OIFA. I don't have no biscuit license. I guess you're going to have to take me in the back of your cop car and bin ME THE HELL OVER. OH, RIGHT AWAY, MA'AM. >> OH, JOSEPH, these are the hottest magazines I've ever seen. >> I know, dude. They're so hot. >> How much do you think these girls got paid to do this? >> Oh, dude. Not enough. Not enough. >> There's someone at the door. Come on, let's answer. Let's answer. All right, dude. >> HELLO. >> HEY. UM, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED TO HAVE BOUGHT ANY NUDIE MAGS FOR YOUR SHOW, DID YOU? >> UH, NO. >> WHATEVER. What's a nudie mag? >> Yeah, we're not even old enough to look AT THOSE. >> WAIT, THEN WHY ARE YOUR EYES DILATED? >> WE WERE playing ice spy in the dark. >> Wait, let me feel your hands. Sticky, WHERE ARE MY NUDIE MAGS? >> HEY, my magazines. Oh, I miss YOU SO MUCH. MY BABIES. OH, MARIAH. STEPHANIE, you didn't take your undies off for them, did you? HEY, THESE ARE OUR magazines now. We paid $14 for THEM. >> YEAH, WE PAID FAIR AND SQUARE. THEY'RE OURS. >> THESE ARE WORTH AT LEAST $400. WELL, $200 since they're heavily used. >> All right, listen. I'm at least going to keep this one. She's hot. >> Capri, my baby. >> What about this one? She has big boobs. >> YOU SURE? YOU KNOW WHAT? NO, YOU LADIES ARE COMING HOME WITH ME. COME. >> BUT NO, WE PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THEM. >> YOU ONLY RENTED THEM. THEY WERE NEVER YOURS. OH, MECCA, BUT I LOVE CAPRI. >> YEAH, WHATEVER. OH, I miss you, lady so much. I'll never let you out of my sight again. WAIT, WHERE'S THE PAMELA ANDERSON ONE? I KNOW I HAD A P ANDERSON ONE. WHERE IS SHE? OH, I'LL FIND YOU, PAM. >> THANK YOU for taking me to Arby's for dinner, Marvin. They have the meats. >> Yeah, their roast beef sandwiches are good. >> Speaking of roast beef sandwiches, I got two of them smacking together on page 47. >> Jeffy, what are you looking at? >> BOOBIES? >> WHAT? JEFFY, WHAT? THEY'RE TWINS, WHICH MEANS THEY'RE SISTERS, WHICH MEANS WHAT THEY'RE DOING ON PAGE 47 IS IN CHEST. Why would they do that? >> Jeff, you're not supposed to be LOOKING AT STUFF LIKE THAT. >> MARVIN, he's 19 years old. >> Well, I don't want him looking at stuff like this, SO I >> WELL, I'M LOOKING. >> NO, I'M GOING TO TAKE THIS AND put it in the bathroom so no one else can look at it. >> WAIT A SECOND. HEY, COME BACK HERE, MARVIN, AND GIVE ME THAT MAGAZINE. >> I WAS GOING TO RIP IT UP INTO TINY PIECES and throw it in the trash can. >> No, you weren't, Marvin. >> I was going to flush it down the toilet. >> No, you weren't, MARVIN. >> I WAS GOING TO PUT IT in the bathtub and fill it up and see if it dissolved with THE WATER. NO, YOU WEREN'T, MARVIN. >> I WAS GOING TO try to put it in the air vent so it came OUT THE CHIMNEY. >> NO, YOU WEREN'T, MARVIN. GIVE ME THAT MAGAZINE. GIVE IT TO ME. GIVE IT TO ME. >> I KNOW. I WANTED THAT MAGAZINE. >> WELL, TOO BAD. >> There's someone at the door. You should go answer that. >> No, we'll go answer. Come on. >> Oh, the twins. >> Hello. >> Have you seen my Pamela Anderson magazine? The twins? I can't believe I forgot about you ladies. >> Wait, this is your magazine? >> Yeah, it was stolen from me at a yard sale. Oh, well, here you go. You can have it back. >> Thank you so much, MA'AM. >> OH, I WANTED THAT MAGAZINE. >> TOO BAD, MARVIN. >> Have you GUYS SEEN MY PAMELA Anderson magazine? There's a PAM ANDERSON MAGAZINE. I'LL FIND IT. >> NOT IF I FIND IT FIRST. HEY. >> OH, BABY. YOU LOOKING so damn good in this bubble gum pink bikini. The things that I WOULD DO TO YOU. I FOUND YOU. >> NO, I FOUND HER FIRST. >> OH, BOYS ARE WEIRD. >> GET AWAY FROM PAMELA. SHE'S MINE. >> NO, SHE'S MINE. >> GIVE HER BACK OR I'LL STAB YOU. >> DAMN. YOU CAN HAVE HER. I'LL FINISH WITH HER ANYWAY. >> Thank goodness. Oh, come on, Pamela. You know I always have to FINISH ON YOUR COVER. >> GROSS. NO, PAMELA. >> >> So guys, what do you want to do tonight? >> I don't know, dude. I'm bored. >> Well, I think we should You hear that, Junior? My tummyy's rumbling. That means it's grub time. >> Yeah, I'm starving, too, dude. >> Yeah, I'm hungry, too. >> Well, you guys think we should go to McDonald's and get Happy Meals? >> Oh, dude. Yeah, that'll be fun. >> But guys, we don't have a car. >> Oh, yeah. And we can't drive. >> I got a car. >> Wait a minute. We want to go to McDonald's and Jeffy has a car. Do you think maybe perhaps Jeffy could use his car to take us to McDonald's? >> Do you think we should ask him? >> I think we should. Hey Jeffy, can you drive us to McDonald's in your car? >> I don't know. I got to ask my mommy and daddy for permission before I drive at night cuz last time I hit a moose. >> How did he hit a moose in Florida? >> Hey daddy. >> Oh, hey Jeffy. You're just in time for dinner. Eat your green beans. >> Yucky. >> Jeffy, eat your damn green beans. >> Me and not for the hunger time. Well, if you're not hungry, then go to your room. >> But daddy, I was going to ask you if I COULD GO TO MCDONALD'S WITH MY FRIENDS AND GET HAPPY MEALS. >> NO, JEFFY. You know you can't drive at night cuz last time you went driving at night, you hit a hippo. >> I thought it was a moose. >> It was a hippo. Papa moose. >> Jeffy, eat your damn green beans. >> I got to go pee. >> No. If you go driving at night, then I'm going to ground you. >> Almost forgot. >> OH, YOU GOOBER. OH, YOU DAMN GOOBER. You're grounded. >> Oh, guys, Jeffy's coming. It seems like it's good news. What' your dad say? >> MY DADDY SAID NO. A >> BUT I'M GOING TO DO IT ANYWAY. >> YAY. >> WE JUST GOT TO GO REALLY FAST SO I DON'T GET CAUGHT. >> YEAH, we're going to have to haul ass. >> If that's one thing my PP cruiser can do, it's haul ass. Let's go. >> WE GOT OUR HAPPY MEAL. NOW GET HOME AS FAST AS YOU CAN so your dad doesn't find out. I'm going to send you, Junior. Yeah. Go, GO, GO, GO, GO. >> WOOHOO! Happy meal. >> Oh yeah, dude. I love my nugies. >> Uh, Jeffy, that's a RED LIGHT. THAT'S A RED LIGHT. JEFFY, YOU JUST RAN A RED LIGHT. >> JOE, THAT'S AGAINST THE LAW. YOU COULD GO TO JAIL. IT IS. >> YEAH. OH, NO. >> OOH, JEFFY, you just ran a red light. >> Who cares, dude? There's no cops around. >> All right, guys. Let's eat our Happy Meals. >> I'm just glad we got back home without Jeffy's parents finding out. >> Guys, do you think I'm going to get in trouble for running that red light? >> No, Jeffy. You already made it home safe. The cops can't find out now. >> Yeah, dude. They can't pull you over at home. Well, unless there was a red light camera on it. >> What? >> What's a red light camera? Well, some red lights have a camera that takes a picture of your license plate when you run it. >> That's a thing? >> Yeah, >> dude. That sounds like an invasion of our privacy, and Martin Luther King did not die for that. >> I don't really see what that has to do with traffic. >> So, you're telling me that the camera took A PICTURE OF MY CAR RUNNING THROUGH THE RED LIGHT? >> WELL, maybe if there was a camera on it. >> My mommy and daddy can't find out that I ran a red light, or else I'm >> Wait, guys, I have a solution. Why don't we just go steal the traffic light? >> What? >> Yeah, if we steal it, they can't get the footage of Jeffy running the red light. He can't GET IN TROUBLE. >> THAT'S A GOOD IDEA, JUNIOR. NO, IT'S NOT A good idea cuz he'll get in way more trouble for stealing a traffic light than just running a red light. >> But if his parents find out he ran a red light, he'll get grounded and then we won't have anybody with a car that can drive us places. So, we have to steal it. >> But if he gets caught stealing a traffic light, he'll go to jail. >> It's a risk we have to take, Cody. So, let's go steal a traffic light. All in favor of stealing a traffic light, say I I >> I don't know about this, dude. I think I'm going to go home. >> WHY? >> BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO GO TO JAIL, BRO. UH, thanks for the happy meal, though. >> Well, guys, I guess it's the three musketeers now. Nope. It's the two musketeers because I'm not doing it either. >> Why? You don't feel good? >> Yes, I don't feel good. I don't feel good about stealing a traffic light. >> Okay, can you at least be look out for the cops? >> Okay, fine. But only because I don't want you guys to get in trouble. But if the cops do show up, I'm snitching on your asses. >> All right, come on, Jeff. Let's go steal it. Leave your happy meal. What do you leave it? >> Guys, guys, I can't believe we JUST STOLE THE TRAFFIC LIGHT. That's so crazy. THAT'S SO COOL, GUYS. WE'RE LIKE REBELS, you know? Other people dream of doing stuff like that, but we actually went out there and did it, you know? We're like, we're like pirates. We just take We see something we want, we just TAKE IT. SO BADASS, RIGHT, GUYS? RIGHT. THAT'S SO COOL. WE'RE so cool. Right. Right. You know, right? >> Yeah. WE GOT AWAY WITH IT. >> CLASSIC. >> YEAH. >> YEAH. YEAH. YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD steal more stuff. I can't believe it. Like, it belonged to somebody else and now it's ours and we didn't even pay for it. That's so cool. >> Cody, you were the most against stealing that tropical. >> I know, but now that we got away with it, I want to steal more things. THAT'S AWESOME. >> JEFFY, JEFFY, I THINK YOUR DAD'S COMING. >> OH NO. WE'RE GOING TO GET IN SO MUCH TROUBLE. Why did we even do this? >> OH NO, GUYS. HURRY UP AND TAKE THE TRAFFIC LIGHT AND HIDE IT IN MY ROOM. >> COULD HAVE HID IN THE ROOM. COME ON. NO, >> JEFFY. >> OH, CANDY CANE DICK. There's a U-turn. >> Jeffy, I cannot believe you threw your green beans at dinner. >> I'm sorry, daddy. It slipped. >> No, it didn't. You did it on purpose. Where did these Happy Meals come from? >> Um, dang. Um, they're they're they're Junior, Joseph, and Cody's. And that's why I wanted to go to McDonald's because I wanted my own cuz I was jealous. >> That better be the truth, mister. >> It is. >> All right. Well, you go to your room. >> Yes, sir. Marvin, these happy MEALS AREN'T EATEN. OH, LOOK. CHEEKY NUGIES. >> BABY, NO, you can't eat that. We just ate a healthy dinner. >> But Marvin, can I just have one cheeky nookie? >> No. >> What about a Frenchie fry? >> No, baby. We already had a can of green beans each. It's healthy. >> Marvin, that is not a real dinner. >> Well, Popeye the sailor man, he eats a can of GREEN BEANS. >> THAT'S SPINACH. >> WELL, LISTEN. We cannot break our diet, okay? We're on a strict diet. Now, I'm going to go make sure Jeffy's in bed. Do not eat any of that happy meal. H >> All right, Jeffy. We tried to cover up the traffic light the best we could. It's okay. My daddy doesn't suspect this thing. >> Jeffy. >> JEFFY, I THINK YOUR DAD'S COMING. >> OH NO, YOU GUYS GOT TO HIDE. >> JEFFY, ARE YOU IN BED? >> YEAH. >> Why are you under the covers? >> Cuz it's sleeping time. >> Let me see your face. >> The hospital. >> I want to make sure it's you. Let me see your face, Jeffy. >> All right. Just making sure. Good night, Jeffy. >> Good night, daddy. >> Wait a minute. WHAT IS THAT? >> IT'S my nightlight. >> IS THAT A TRAFFIC LIGHT? JEFFY, WHY IS THERE A TRAFFIC LIGHT IN YOUR BED? HOW DO THEY GET IN YOUR BED? >> DADDY, CAN I BE THE MOST honest with you that I've ever been? >> Yes. I honestly don't know how the that traffic light got in this bed. >> Jimmy, does not MAKE ANY SENSE. TRAFFIC LIGHTS DON'T APPEAR IN BED. TRAFFIC LIGHTS ARE NOT MEANT FOR BEDS. >> WELL, THAT'S what I was thinking. When I got to the bed, I pulled back the sheets. traffic light. I said, "Okay, I guess this is what we're doing." So, I doubled down and I got into bed. >> Jeffy, be honest with me. How did that traffic light get in your bed? >> I don't know. MAYBE IT'S A TRAFFIC LIGHT TOOTH fairy or some going around putting traffic lights in people's beds. Old tooth fairy dick covered in teeth with wings spits out quarters and >> Jeffy, what are you EVEN TALKING ABOUT? HONESTLY, DADDY, I don't even know. >> So, you're telling me you swear you don't know where that traffic light came from? >> Daddy, I swear on my extra chromosome, I don't know where that traffic light came from. >> All right, so I'm going to investigate this and find out where it came from. >> I think you should, too. >> All right, you better not be lying to me. >> All right, daddy. >> Oh, Morgan, I swear I wasn't eating the chicken nuggets. I just wanted to smell them. >> Listen, we have a bigger palm on our hands. Jeffy has a traffic light in his bed. >> What? >> A traffic light? You know, the green light, yellow light, red light. Yes, I know what you're talking about. >> So, I'm calling the cops to report it. >> 911. What's your emergency? >> Uh, yes. My son has a traffic light in his bed. >> What? >> A traffic light? You know, the thing that makes your car stop and go. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. So, that's in his bed. The black dangly thing. >> Wait, I'm sorry. I don't know what the you're talking about. >> The black dangly thing. It's in It's in my son's bed. A traffic light. >> Okay. Yeah, I know what a traffic light is, but how do you get in his bed? >> I don't know. He said a traffic light tooth fairy. He put it there. >> Okay. Well, it sounds like you might be on drugs. >> I'm not on drugs. I saw the traffic light in my son's bed. >> Okay. Okay. Well, listen, buddy. I'm going to hang up now and pretend this conversation never happened. >> No, no, no, no. Listen, listen. Red light, green light, but in my son's bed. >> Okay. Well, listen. If she says red light, just stop, okay? Otherwise, you and I might be talking under different circumstances. >> Well, no, no. It's not like a He didn't believe me. >> Baby, you don't think? >> Huh? >> JEFFY KILLED THOSE PEOPLE BY STEALING THAT TRAFFIC LIGHT. >> WHAT? >> YEAH, HE KILLED THOSE PEOPLE CUZ HE STOLE THE TRAFFIC LIGHT. HE CAUSED THAT ACCIDENT TO HAPPEN. JEFFY'S GOING TO GO TO JAIL. >> WHO KNEW JEFFY? >> Who's that? Hello. >> Hey there, police. >> Oh, the police. What are you doing here? >> Well, you just called me a minute ago about your son having a traffic light in his bed, and then there was just a deadly car accident due to a missing traffic light. So, it was kind of like putting together a two-piece puzzle. It was pretty simple. >> Oh, I don't think those things are related at all. >> Yeah, I would be really shocked if they weren't. I'm talking really shocked. Like, I would actually bet my left nut that they are in fact related. And that's actually my favorite nut because it hangs just slightly lower than the other one. >> Oh, yeah. So, I'm going to come in and just try to, you know, knock this out, you know, see if someone's going to jail. I think they are. I think they're going to jail. Come on, let's rock this Well, well, well. Am I good at my job or what? Boom. Traffic light. Boom. There's a missing traffic light. Boom. It's right here in your bed. Boom. Case closed. You know, I'm really excited cuz the chief gives us a Tootsie Pop every time we get an open and shut case. And this case is shut. So, who am I arresting first? >> Well, it wasn't me. >> It wasn't me either. I forgot. I got to actually prove you guys did it. God, I hate this part. It's always so hard. And I can't check for fingerprints because of course you touched it. It was a traffic light in your bed. I touch it, too. Actually, I've never even touched a traffic light. Now I've touched it. That was pretty cool. Now what? >> Well, it wasn't me. And Jeffy said it just appeared in his bed. >> I can't even check the traffic light cameras cuz there isn't one. >> Wait, THERE'S NO RED LIGHT CAMERA ON IT? >> NO, not on this one. >> Oh, so he didn't see me run the red light. >> Wait, so you ran this red light and then it just showed up in your bed? Yeah, it must have been mad that I ran the red light and it followed me all the way home. >> Well, red lights can't follow you home. Unless it's some kind of haunted red light monster. >> Well, it would make sense if it was haunted because why else would it leave its spot and cause that deadly car accident? That sounds pretty haunted to me. >> Oh my god, you're right. That's exactly what a haunted red light monster would do. HEY, TOUCH MY BUTTHOLE. >> OKAY, we can add that to the list of charges. It's breaking and entering and then he came into your bed >> AND MY ASS. >> ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT. You're under arrest, red light monster. You're coming with me. Super freaking heavy. Jesus. Could you Could you Could you lift that in? This This sucks. Suck this thing. >> Marvin, I'm so glad that haunted traffic light is behind bars. >> It can't hurt anyone else anymore. >> Justice has been served. >> Jeffy, how's your butt feeling? >> Prolapsed and leaking. >> Well, Jeffy, that traffic light is behind bars. So, you let me know if there's ever another traffic light in your bed. >> I will, Daddy. And I'll scream, too. I'LL BE LIKE, "DADDY, COME QUICK. THERE'S A TRAFFIC LIGHT IN MY BED." >> OKAY, GOOD. BABY, where are those chicken nuggets that were in that box? Uh, well, Marvin, I know what you're thinking, but I did not eat them. Okay. Um, I was going to eat them, but they ran away because they were haunted chicken nuggets. >> Baby, that is the worst lie I've ever heard. Chicken nugget cannot get up and run away. And chicken nuggets can't be haunted. >> But Marvin, it's true. >> Don't lie to me. You're teaching Jeffy how to lie. Cuz right now, Jeffy's been telling the truth for a while now. And you're going to teach him how to lie. So, you better you better own up to it. >> You're right, Marvin. I'm sorry. >> Yeah, don't lie. You be more like Jeffy. Tell the truth. >> Yeah, I'm a truther. I've been truththing around this all day. >> Nothing gets past you, Marvin. >> Nope. Nothing gets past me. I'm smart. Yeah, I I know everything. I'm so excited to GO TO THE BEYONCE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY TODAY. I can't believe we were invited. There's going to be SO MANY CELEBRITIES THERE. Do you think she'll like her cookie cake? >> Yeah. >> What's wrong, boyy? >> Well, Karen, I just don't feel like going to an AA celebrity birthday party today. >> What? Boie, you've been so excited EVER SINCE BEYONCE INVITED YOU WHEN you got her out of a speeding ticket. >> I know, but I didn't realize her birthday was on the same day Steve Irwin died. >> What? >> Oh, yeah. Karen, today's the day Steve Irwin was tragically taken from us by that goddamn stingray. Oh, I'M SO UPSET. >> WELL, BOY, THE POTTY WILL DISTRACT YOU. >> NO, it won't, Karen. How am I supposed to just sit there and eat cake and play pin the ring on the single lady when I know Steve Irwin was brutally impaled by a stingray on this day? How can people party on a day like this? It's like partying on 9/11. >> But boy, you party on 9/11. >> Yeah, okay. Well, they say never forget, not never party. Partying is the best way to remember. >> Well, let's party to remember Steve. >> Karen, are you sick in the head? That's my whole point. We can't party today. Today's a day of mourning. Karen, did you take a bite out of Beyonce's cookie cake? I took a little nipple to make sure it wasn't stale. >> Okay, that's it. We're definitely not going now. >> But boy, boy, you told her you would go when SHE INVITED YOU ON FACEBOOK. >> I said maybe because I wanted to be mysterious. >> Oh, but boy, look. She hoted it. >> Karen, there's going to be so many other celebrities there. She's not even going to know we're not there. >> You're going to break her heart, Boy. >> Look, I'm just going to message Beyonce on Facebook and tell her I can't make it. Happy birthday, Beyonce. Sorry I can't make it to your party. There. And now she's calling me. Boy, answer it. >> Hello, Beyonce. Happy birthday, Beyonce. What do you want, Beyonce? >> Brooklyn guy, please tell me the message you sent me was a joke. You're still coming to my birthday party, right? >> No, Beyonce, it's not a joke. I just can't make it to your birthday party. I really wanted to, but I can't. Um, maybe next year. Actually, probably not. Maybe not any year, unless it's on a different day. >> So, you have a problem with the day I was born? >> Well, yeah. It's just a bad day. It's not you, it's the day. Actually, the whole month of September is bad. Like 9/11 happened in September and Hurricane Katrina and like the Nazis invaded Poland and started World War II in September, I think. And and Queen Elizabeth II died, you know? Yeah, there's a reason Green Day wanted to sleep through this month. >> I don't give a stabbing stingray that you don't like the month of September. You better show up to my birthday. >> Okay, now that is not a common expression. That's it. I'm not coming to your birthday. BYE. >> WAIT, BOY, WE'RE NOT GOING TO GO. >> DID YOU HEAR HER, KAREN? She took a jab at Steve. THAT REALLY STUNG. NOW I'M DOING IT. GOD DAMN IT. ON THE DAY OF STEVE'S DEATH. I'M SO SORRY, STEVE. All right, I'm just going to go to work to get my mind off this. >> Well, boy, CAN I STILL GO? >> NO, KAREN. SHE'S NOT EVEN GOING TO CARE. Just stay here and eat the carrot carrot cake. Cookie cake. Karen, eat it. You already started carrot cake. >> Hey, Danny, guess what? Did you know that this TV show came out on the exact day, month, and year D was born? >> That's really cool. >> It is. >> Can we watch it? >> We can watch it when we're done watching the news. >> Hey there. Somebody call a doctor. >> No. >> Oh, I'll just be here if you need me. Well, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be at Beyonce's birthday party. >> Yeah, I was. And I decided not to go. >> Why'd you decide not to go? There's so many celebrities there. You got to go. >> Well, today's just a really sad day. >> Why is today sad? >> Oh, hey. You know, the show actually came out on my birthday. I mean, I mean, not the actual year, but the same day. >> Yeah, Jeffy was telling us, why is today sad? >> Marvin, are you kidding me? Don't you know what day it is? >> Hump day. >> Oh, Marvin, that is so unbelievably not funny. >> Oh, it's Wednesday. >> Thank you for the update. >> Why is today sad? We don't know why. >> Okay, we're going to do charades. I'll explain. This is the first word. >> Oh. Oh. Oh. You're working at a pizzeria and your and your man you're tossing the dough and making pizzas. It's very busy. >> Marvin, I stopped because everything you said was wrong. >> Oh, there's a fly in your face and you're trying to swat it away. >> No. >> Um. Ooh. You're a DJ and you're at a rave and man, you're pumping up the jam. You're pumping. >> You smell something really bad. >> Mm-m. >> Oh, you walked into a spiderweb and you're you're getting it off your face. >> No. Oh, you're in a sauna and it's REALLY HOT, SO YOU'RE TRYING TO BREATHE. >> OH, you're running from a zombie and you're looking back at at it running at after you and you're scared. >> No. God damn it, Murphy. I'm swimming. Okay, the first word is I'm swimming. Okay. >> Okay, swimming. >> Okay, here's the second one. >> You died. >> How did I die? >> Uh, you drowned. >> Oh, someone shot you with a harpoon cuz they thought you were a shark. >> That's close. Ooh. Ooh. You You swam 30 minutes after eating. >> How was that close to being shot with a harpoon, Marvin? >> I I don't um You swallowed too much water. You have a tummy ache. >> You uh Oh. Oh, you had a heart attack from swimming too much. >> I'm Steve Irwin, Marvin. That's what I'm doing. I'm Steve Irwin. >> Okay, that does not look like you're banging Steve Irwin. >> No, I don't mean I'm literally Marvin. It's charades. I am Steve Irwin. >> Okay, let's play a different one because I I didn't really get >> No, no, no. We're not playing charades. I'm telling you why I'm sad today. Today is the day Steve Irwin died. Well, not actually today. It was like 18 years ago, but it's the same day. >> That was today. >> Yes, it's today. >> Oh, well, that's sad. >> Yes, it's very sad, Marvin. That's what I'm saying. Today is a tragic day. >> Yeah. I mean, it was a long time ago. So, I mean, it's kind of like move on a little bit. >> Oh. Oh, yeah. You're right. It was a long time ago. Yeah, you're right, Marvin. I guess Pearl Harbor wasn't a big deal because it was a long time ago. Oh, and the Holocaust. What's that? That was a long time ago. I don't care about that. And slavery. That's just the cat's pajamas, Marvin. That's what you think, right? Because it was a long time ago. >> No, I'm just saying it was so long ago. And I didn't know him. So I mean >> Oh, you didn't know him. So you lack empathy, huh? You're a psychopath. That's what you're telling me, Marvin. >> No, it was sad when it happened. It's still sad, but but people just don't really think about it that often. I I didn't know today was that day. I thought it happened on my calendar. He died today. >> Now, how quickly we forget. >> Marvin, look, the news. >> Breaking news, Kate. Beyonce's birthday party was ruined because one of THE GUESTS SHE INVITED didn't show up, and that made her cry. We have an important message from the president now. Breaking news, America. Some broke ass ginger-headed ass ruined Beyonce's birthday party and made her cry. America's most hated person now ruined one of the happiest days in September. If you see his face, punch him and call him names. Thank you. >> Oh man, she told the president. >> A, you made Beyonce cry. >> Well, I didn't mean to make her cry. I just didn't want to celebrate on such a sad day. Ow. Marvin. >> Oh, Jeffy, don't hit him. >> It's okay. He was just doing what the president told him. >> Oh, well, I mean, you you made Beyonce cry, and now people are going to want to punch you. >> Well, look, if anybody tries to punch me, I will just explain why you didn't go to the party. >> Did you explain to her why you didn't go? >> Well, I didn't really get a chance. She made a very hurtful joke about Steve Irwin. At least, I think it was a joke. It was stingray related. It was either a joke or she just has very weird sayings. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go get a beer out of your fridge. >> Ow. >> Jeffy. Oh, I mean the president told him. I I guess you can do it. >> The last beer. This is for you, Steve. >> Well, while I'm here, I might as well see if they have any snacks in the pantry. >> Uh-uh. What do you think YOU'RE DOING GOING IN MY PANTRY? >> OH, HEY, CHEF PEEP. I'm just looking for some snacks. >> Oh, no. You don't deserve no snacks. YOU MADE BEYONCE CRY. YOU DON'T MAKE THE QUEEN BEE CRY. >> OH, COME ON. I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO GO to a party. >> Nah, THIS FOR THE BEEF. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE >> YEAH. BUZZ BUZZ, BLACK LIFE. >> WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? >> I JUST GOT MY ASS KICKED for making Beyonce cry. >> Well, well, you know that was going to happen. I mean, the president announced to the world that people need to punch you in the face. >> Yeah. Yeah, I know. OW. GODAMN IT. >> I'M JUST DOING WHAT THE president told me to do. >> I know. Okay. I I guess I'm just going to have to go to the party. >> You're actually going to go? >> Yeah. I'm going to go get my wife. >> He's going to get beat up by everyone. >> Oh my god. Boie, what happened to you? >> I got beat up for making Beyonce cry. >> OH YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. OW. >> SORRY, BOY. President's orders. >> I know. It's okay. Listen, I think I decided to go to Beyonce's birthday party. >> What? We're going to go. >> Yeah, but I need you to put some makeup on my face so I don't look so beat up. >> Okay, Boie. Can I also bring the cookie cake? >> Will you wait goddamn half of it? >> I was hungry, Boie, because you said we weren't going. >> it. Okay, bring it. >> Kill me, >> Boy. Aren't you sure this is Beyonce's birthday party? >> There are balloons, Karen. It's definitely her house. Hey, are you here for Beyonce's birthday party? >> Uh, yeah. >> Okay, let me check the guest list. Let's see. Greg, Steve, Harvey, >> right there. Brooklyn guy plus one. >> Hey, you're the guy who made her cry. >> Yeah, that would be me. >> You got a lot of nerves showing up here, bud. No one here likes you. Everyone hates you. >> I know. >> WELL, WE BROUGHT A COOKIE CAKE. >> The halfeaten cookie cake. >> You know what? Let me go ask her if she even wants you here. Stay put. >> Karen, I want to leave. No, you're going to make it right. >> But he said everyone in there hates me. >> All right, so Beyonce's in her room crying, so I didn't have a chance to ask her. So why don't you come inside, grab a snack, and sit by the pool and wait, and when she's done crying, she'll come out and talk to you. >> Okay, you're the reason she's crying. >> I know. >> Where should I put the cookie cake? >> Probably next to her real cake, Karen. You know, I really thought Beyonce would have had a bigger cake. >> Oh my god, BOY. THERE'S DRAKE STANDING OVER THERE. >> OOH, DRAKE. Who gives a Oh, I THINK HE'S COMING OVER. >> Brooklyn guy, you're a dummy head, poopy pants, stinky buttad. I hate you for making Beyonce cry on her birthday. Um, I hope you step on a crack and break your mama's back. Excuse me. I'm going to go talk to a minor. >> Why would he admit that? >> OH MY GOD, BOY. DRAKE just talked to YOU. DO YOU THINK HE'LL TAKE A PICTURE WITH ME? >> Are you under 18? >> No. >> Well, then probably not. I'm going to grab a red solo cup and stand by the pool. >> Boy, do you think anyone WOULD MIND IF I HAD some more of a cookie cake? Karen, I don't think anybody wants any of your shitty cookie cake. Lame ass party. Oh, hey Beyonce. I made it to your birthday. >> What do you want, Brooklyn guy? You already ruined my birthday and made me cry all day. >> Yeah, I'm really sorry about that. Listen, I just really want to explain why I didn't want to come earlier. You see, your birthday is also the same day Steve Irwin died, and I just can't celebrate on a day this sad. >> Wait, you think I don't know about Steve Irwin dying on the same day as my birthday? I carry this framed picture of Steve everywhere I go because I love him so much. I don't celebrate my birthday on this day. I celebrate the life of Steve Irwin. >> Oh my god, Beyonce, you do understand. Let's party. STEVE, STEVE, STEVE, STEVE, STEVE, STEVE. Oh man, Marvin, it's nice just having a boy's day. You know, sitting back watching TV, drinking some bruskies. >> It is nice. >> Okay, I'm pissed. I'm going home. >> Wait, what happened? >> I got hit in the head with this foot bowl. >> That's a soccer ball. >> Oh, Marvin. Most of the world calls this a football. >> Hey, Danny. Have you seen my checkerboard ball? >> It's not called a checkerboard ball, Jeffy. It's called a soccer ball. >> All right. Well, then king me, daddy. >> What? You can't play checkers on it, Jeffy. It's a soccer ball. >> WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO WITH IT? >> You're supposed to kick it. >> Oh, like this. >> I mean, yeah, but you could also hit it with your head. >> Okay. What? No, you're supposed to hit it in the air. >> Okay, I guess. >> Whoa, Marvin, did you see that? That was incredible. Your son could be a football player. >> Really? The news. Breaking news. UK. World famous soccer player Lionel Messi HAS TURNED DOWN A $1.6 BILLION DEAL FROM THE Saudi Arabian football team to play for the Miami soccer team. They should have offered IT TO ME. I WOULD HAVE PLAYED soccer in Saudi Arabia for $1.6 billion. >> He turned down 1.6 $6 billion just to kick a ball around. >> Yeah, Marvin, football is the biggest sport in the world. >> It is? >> Yeah. 3.2 billion people watch it. I guess they were offering him like 50 cents per viewer. >> I wish someone would offer me a billion dollars to kick a stupid soccer ball. >> I just got an idea. You know who your son just hit that ball? That was sick. I bet if we called up the Saudi Arabians and told him that your son was the next big football player, they'd give him a billion dollar contract. >> He's never played soccer in his life. >> Well, maybe if you stop calling it soccer, they'll believe us. And look, if they do take it and give him a billion dollar contract, we can split the money because I came up with this idea. >> If they give him a billion dollar contract, I'll split the money with you. >> Okay, I'm going to go call the Saudi Arabians. >> Hey Marvin, I got Prince Abu Dhabi, the owner of the Saudi Arabian football team. >> Prince Abu Dhabi heard that you have the next biggest football player. >> Oh, we do. He's right there. >> Yeah, here's Jeffy. >> Oh, sorry. I had a remote in my ass. Jeffy, nice to meet you. >> He does not look like a football player. >> Oh. Oh, he is. Marvin, give him a fat ball. Let's show him what he can do. I don't know where the soccer ball is. >> What did you just call it? >> Uh, he he said he said fatball. Marvin, what the Uh, show them what YOU CAN DO, JEFFY. >> OH, I LIKE THAT >> YEAH. YEAH, you like that So, can we have a billion dollars, please? >> Not quite, but I'll tell you what, my football team is playing against the French Bulldogs tomorrow. So, if your Jeffy goes on my team and we win, I'd give him a $1 billion contract. But but the French Bulldogs have never lost. >> Exactly. >> Well Well, we're going to play him and we're going to win cuz I'm going to coach him. >> WHAT? WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FUDBORN? >> I've seen the movie Kicking and Screaming starring Will Frell and Mike Ditka. >> Oh, YOU GOT THIS SET. OKAY, I will see you tomorrow. >> Yeah. All right, Marvin. We just made a billion dollars. >> No, we didn't. Jeffy has to apparently somehow beat the best team in soccer. >> Well, we can do that. >> Well, no you can't. You're a coach of soccer and you don't even have legs. >> Marvin, I've always wanted to be a soccer player. Do you know how hard it is to not have legs? I can't even ride horses. I just fall off the back. >> We're going to lose. We're not going to get a billion dollars. >> Well, it's worth a try. Come on, Jeffy. >> Okay, Jeffy. This is the soccer field. This is where they said the game was going to be. >> Hey, Jeffy. How's it going? You see your team over there? >> Oh my god, Jeffy. are amazing. It's not going to be hard at all to win. >> Oh no, that's not your team over there. That's the French Bulldogs. Your team is over there. >> Pass it. Pass it. Pass it. Pass it. PASS IT. PASS IT. I said pass it. >> You distracted me. >> Oh, dear God, they suck so bad. >> Oh yeah, that's the camera. Anyway, good luck. >> Come on, Jeffy. Let's go meet your team. >> Okay. >> Okay, listen. This is how you kick the ball into the goal. >> You missed. >> I'm doing my best. Okay. >> Uh, hey everybody. >> Oh, are you the guy we called about forfeiting? >> Uh, no. I'm actually the coach and this is your new teammate, Jeffy. >> Is he good? >> Well, I've only ever seen him hit a ball with his head. >> He can do that? >> That means he's good. >> Yeah. Yeah. So, how long do we have to practice? >> Uh, game starts now. >> Yeah. Hello and welcome to the professional football exhibition game between the French Bulldogs and the Saudi Arabian Camels. The match will start now. Both teams take center field. Okay, I'm going to give you guys a quick pep talk to make sure we win. >> Oh no, we're not going to beat them. The French Bulldogs are undefeated. >> Well, let's pretend they're not. >> But they are. >> Okay. Well, let's pretend they're not. See, Jeffy here is going to get a billion dollar contract if we win. So, if we win, I'm going to give you guys like 20 million each. That's unfair. >> That's nothing. I make $150 million per game >> and I make $110 million a season. >> Why? >> Because Saudi Arabia has money. >> Yeah, it seems like it. >> But he's going to get a billion dollar. I'm not going to try as hard now cuz I want a billion dollars. >> You know, I just got my nails done. So, I'm >> You can't use your hands in football, >> dude. She's the goalie. >> Oh, okay. Well, Jeffy, just play like you're gonna win a billion. >> Okay. >> Okay. It's time for the coin toss. France, since you're the away team, heads or tails? >> Heads. I said it was heads. >> Okay, France goes first. >> Hey man, listen. I already know you guys are going to win, so good game. >> To the hell. >> Jelly donut to you, too. >> Uh, coach, where do I go? >> Just go out into the field and try to steal the ball from them. >> Oh, you silly Americans. You can't beat the French. >> Yeah, I get it. You're very good. >> No, we we >> Yeah, I know. I don't have any pants on. Hey, listen. How much money do you make? A BILLION DOLLARS. I s my life away. >> Jesus, I can't bribe you either. How much money does this goddamn sport make >> a lot? Uh, coach, can you get off the field? >> Oh, yeah. Sorry. >> Oh, man. I hope Jeffy wins. >> Hello, you silly American. Are you the coach of the Saudi Arabian team? >> Uh, yeah, I am. >> Well, you are going to lose badly. >> I'm sorry. Who are you? >> I am the coach of the French team. JO PIERRE FR. >> Why you wearing a rain coat, Jock? because it's going to rain. From all the tears, you are going to be crying. >> Yeah, well, smoking's bad for you. >> First team to score three goals wins. Let the match begin. >> Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. >> >> Wee wee. THAT IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. SUCK ON THESE POINTS. NUTS. >> COME ON, GOALIE. You didn't even try. >> Your players ran into each other like a cartoon. >> Get up, you idiots. What are you doing? >> Pathetic. IT'S ONE OF THE BEST HEROES. >> YEAH, BABY. YOU, BABY. THAT is another goal. THAT MAKES IT TWO TO ZERO. ONE more goal and we win. >> Okay, time out. Huddle up, everybody. Guys, what the hell is going on out there? >> Coach, I don't want to be goalie anymore. >> I know. Clearly, you keep running away from the ball. >> And I hate running around. >> Oh, okay then. Beard guy, you be the new goalie and you, girl, and Jeffy, you run around and TRY TO SCORE POINTS. I GOT IT. I GOT IT. >> Oh my god, the goalie's knocked out. >> Get up, you idiot. >> Hit it in, woman. >> Okay. >> Oh, I DID IT. >> YEAH. TWO TO ONE. WEE WEE THIS. Press it. Press it. Oh, I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED IT. YOU ARE A DISGRACEFUL FRIEND. YOU'RE A DISGRACEFUL FRIEND. ARE YOU A DISGRACEFUL FRIEND? YOU'RE A DISGRACE. >> We scored again. THE GAME IS TIED. >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU BLABBERING IDIOT. STOP FIGHTING. THEY JUST SCORED AGAIN AND THE GAME IS TIED. >> I'M SORRY. I am sorry, too. >> You take me to get hamburger. >> I take you to get hamburger. >> I get hamburger to get this. OH, YOU WHAT ARE YOU DOING? >> YOU MISSED LAST TIME. YOU SNAIL EATING BAST. >> WHAT DID YOU CALL ME? >> SNAIL EATING BAST. >> I'LL THROW YOU ON THE ALPHA TOWER. YOU ARE JUST GOING TO RUN. >> GO UP. >> Jump in here. >> No. NO. >> WE WON. WE LOST. Screw you. I'm selling the team. >> Guys, we did it. >> Yay! We won. >> Jeffy, YOU DID IT. >> NO, WE DID. >> YEAH, WE WON. >> COACH, we did it. >> Yeah, I believed in you guys the whole time. >> No, you didn't. >> Yeah, you're right. >> Was my dad coaching the other team? >> Yes, he was. But look, we just won a billion dollars. >> What about our 20 million? >> Oh, well, you guys said you didn't need it. And to be honest, you don't. So, come on, Jeffy. >> OH, HELL YES. I LIKE THAT >> YEAH, MARVIN, you hear that? WE'RE GOING TO BE BILLIONAIRES. >> WAIT, YOU ACTUALLY WON? >> YEAH, DADDY. I hit the game-winning GOAL GOING WITH MY HEAD. SO, you know what that means? Celebratory remote in the ass. >> I don't care what you put in your ass. You're about to SEND A BILLION DOLLAR CRASH. WOOHOO. >> HELL YEAH. >> JEFFY'S going to be a billionaire all for playing soccer. >> What did you just say? >> I I I said soccer. OH, HELL NO. WHAT THE WHAT THE HELL? >> MARVIN, >> WHAT? >> MARVIN, why did you have to say soccer? >> What? That's just what I call it. Where'd he go? >> He left because you said soccer. >> Well, we're still going to get the billion dollars, right? >> No, we just lost a billion dollars because you said the word soccer. >> No, no, no, no, no. The deal was if Jeffy won the game, we would get a billion dollar contract. >> It doesn't matter, Marvin. Everybody knows if you say the word soccer or you're associated with someone who says the word soccer, you don't know how to play the game. >> Well, clearly Jeffy knows how to play. He He won the game. >> No, you said soccer. He knows we're frauds. >> So, now what? >> Now I'm going to go home because this was a waste of time. >> I guess I'm just going to watch TV. Jeffy, do you know where the remote is? >> Oh, yeah. We're hair dye. So guys, what do you want to do today? >> I don't know, dude. Let's do something fun. >> Yeah, let's do something fun. >> Hey guys, have we considered doing something fun? >> Something fun? >> Something fun? Well, me and Ken are down for anything. How about we go to an aquarium, dude? >> Oh, yeah. The aquarium would be so fun. >> Eh, Ken doesn't really like fish. What? >> Yeah, he thinks aquariums are boring. He says you can see most of the same stuff at a pet store. >> Dude, they have stingrays >> and sharks. >> And he doesn't like the cafeteria at the aquarium. He says the food's really gross in his opinion. >> He can't even eat the food. He's a dog. >> And we don't have to eat at the cafeteria at the aquarium. We can eat here. >> And he doesn't like the gift shop cuz he says everything's really overpriced, especially the stuffed octopus cuz last time he was there, he really wanted to buy one, but it was too expensive. And his parents got in a really big argument over whether or not they were going to buy it for him. And then the car ride home was really awkward. And I was promised a toy. So it just kind of made my whole day shitty, so I don't want to go. I I mean, Ken doesn't want to go. It just sounds like you don't want to go to the aquarium, Cody. >> Oh, no. I love aquariums. It's just Ken. He Well, I I was trying to be nice, but he he thinks aquariums are kind of gay. Like, they're lame. He doesn't like it. >> Oh, I get it, Cody. You don't want to go to the aquarium cuz that's where your mom lives. Cuz she's a big fat cow. >> Oh, >> Wait, Junior. Don't you mean a whale? >> Thanks for correcting me, Cody. She is a whale. She's a bigger animal. A BIG FAT WHALE. YOU CALLED YOUR MOM A WHALE. >> >> OKAY, CODY, we don't have to go to the aquarium cuz Ken doesn't want to go. >> How about we go see the new Deadpool movie? >> Oh, dude, I really want to see it. I love it. >> Yeah, I want to see it, too. >> Well, Ken's already seen it. >> What? >> Yeah, Ken already saw it and he doesn't want to see the same movie twice. >> Why do we care what Ken saw? >> Yeah, we want to see it. We haven't seen it. >> Well, I think we should do something that's fun for everybody. >> Um, we could go swimming in my pool. >> Me and Ken already went swimming earlier and he doesn't want to. >> Jesus. Hey. Hey. Can I see Ken real quick? >> Yeah, sure. I don't know what you want to see him. Well, >> you're not going to like this What am I not going to like about it? >> This. >> What? YOU'RE RIGHT. I DIDN'T LIKE THAT AT ALL. GET BACK HERE. >> JOSEPH, GIVE BACK, PLEASE. >> JOSEPH, DO THAT DOG'S EATING. WHY WOULD YOU THROW HIM, JOSEPH? >> HE'S A DOG. HE'S NOT A DOG. JOSEPH, >> HEY, you might GIVE ME BACK MY BOYFRIEND. GIVE ME THAT. WHY IS THERE EVEN A RABID DOG IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD? >> OH, MAN. That's my dog. >> Michael Vic. >> Hey, who else is going to be? Now come here, you stupid mut. You save all that fighting for the other dogs. >> Okay, >> Junior, look. Joseph threw Ken outside and he got eaten by one of Michael Vick's rabbit dogs and NOW HE'S DEAD. >> JOSEPH, WHY WOULD YOU do that? >> Dude, Ken was ruining all the fun. So, in order for us to have fun, I had to take action into my own hands and got rid of Ken. Well, you do know it wasn't Ken that was stopping us from having fun. It was just Cody. He didn't want to do those things. >> No, dude. Cody wanted to have fun. It was all Ken. >> Cody, stop crying. Is there a way we can get a new Ken doll? >> Well, first of all, he's not a doll. And also, get a new Ken. That's like if your dad died and they said, "Why don't you just get a new dad?" >> I mean, if my dad was a doll, dude. >> HE'S NOT A DOLL, JOSEPH. HE'S AN IRREPLACEABLE MAN. >> OH, CODY, LOOK, the news. >> I'm too sad to watch the news. Okay, I'll watch the news, but I'm going to mope the whole time. >> >> Breaking news. There's a big increase of mosquito bitings around the country. Field reporter Steve Stelberger is on the case. Steve. >> Hello. I'm Steve Staleberger with the evening news and I'm just waiting for someone to talk to. Excuse me, citizen. What do you think of all these mosquitoes? >> I hate them. They bite me. Why do they do that? What are they for? >> True. True that. Home slice. >> Hey, Cody. Isn't that human kid? >> Yeah. So what? I mean, yeah, I hit that. I bent that over. I clapped his cheeks. It was totally mid. No recoil. I wouldn't do that again if you paid me. Maybe I would. >> Well, why do you invite him over and he can be your new ken? >> Yeah, he can actually do stuff. Go to the aquarium. >> Oh, he hates the aquarium. And I mean, totally different from how I hate the aquarium cuz the cafeteria sucks. No, he's all for the animals and He doesn't think they should be locked up like that. >> Well, if you invite him over, maybe you could turn him into a toy. Like, do you have a toy, Ray? I do have a toy, Ray. Hold on. Let me go get it. Behold my toy, Ray. >> What? >> Well, he his name is Ray and he's a toy. >> So, he's another doll. >> Well, yeah. Ray is a doll, but Ken's not. >> Okay. So, we thought you were talking about a toy gun. >> Oh, a toy gun. Yeah. Yeah. I got one of those. See? Toy gun. Pew pew. >> No, we thought you like We thought you were talking about a gun that turns things into toys. >> Oh, a toy laser ray gun. >> Sure. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. I got one of those. Look. Behold the make things into toys laser ray gun. Anything I shoot with this turns into a toy. >> So if we got human Ken to come over here and you shot him with it, he would turn into a doll. >> YES. >> I KNEW IT. So he is a doll, dude. >> No, no, no, no, no. Hold on. I misspoke. No, no. If I shoot human Ken with this, he'll just still be a human, but kind of like a hard plasticky human figurine kind of guy. >> In other words, HE'S A DOG, DUDE. >> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. STOP, stop saying that. No, not He's not. >> Okay, so how do we get human Ken to come to my house? >> Well, I don't know. I don't have his number. Oh, I know. Spider-Man. >> Spider-Man. >> Yeah, we can get Spider-Man over here and we can tell him that Ken is the Green Goblin and then he'll come bring Ken here, lay him down on the couch like he did in the movie after he killed William Defoe. And then and then and then and then we'll have him here. >> Okay, so how do you get a hold of Spider-Man? >> Oh, that's easy. Oh no, someone killed Uncle Ben. I really wish somebody would come and tell me what great power comes with. >> Oh. Oh, hey, Spider-Man. Oh, we got that. Oh, >> WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY. >> YEAH, that's right, Spider-Man. Uh, look, we need your help. I I think my friend might be the Green Goblin. >> THE GREEN GOBLIN? WHERE? >> OH, WE need you to go find him. He's really handsome and he's wearing like a blue shirt and pants. >> Okay, I go find him. >> Thanks. Thank you. >> Is that really Spider-Man? >> I don't think so. >> LET ME GO. >> Shut up, Green Goblin. Uh, guys, I don't think that's the same Spider-Man. Sir, what happened to the other Spider-Man? >> He got arrested. >> Oh, okay. But I I just have one more question. Uh, why is there a hole cut out around your dick? In >> case I got a pee pee. >> Oh, okay. >> WHAT IS GOING ON? WHAT AM I DOING HERE? >> HOLD. SO, I just got to shoot you with this real quick. P. >> OH MY GOD, it worked. Ken, I love you so much. >> Wait, how'd it work? All you said was pew. >> Well, yeah, it runs on imagination, so you have to say pew to make it work cuz it's a toy and it makes toys. But I'm so glad Ken's back. >> You glad you got your stupid dog back, dude? >> He's not. Hey kids, SORRY ABOUT EARLIER. I GOT ARRESTED. YOU SEE what I do is I run a Spider-Man company underground. You know, with birthday parties, bounty hunting, ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES. SO, I SENT my coworker down here to get you what YOU NEEDED. HIS DICK WAS OUT. YES, IT WAS. >> YEAH. SO, WE WEAR STICKLESS COSTUMES. THEY'RE ONESIES BECAUSE THE ZIPPER GETS STUCK AND we have to pee. BUT DID MY FRIEND GET YOU what you need? Uh, >> yes, he did. >> OH, PERFECT. SO, JUST REMEMBER, KIDS, YOU CAN ALWAYS THANK YOUR FRIENDLY LOCAL SPIDER-MAN. >> OH, thank you. >> Yeah. Come here. >> Oh, he wants money. >> Oh, he was get paid. >> Do you have any money, guys? I >> I don't have any money. >> I I don't have any money either. I get paid cuz I'm SP. >> Oh, how about you shoot him with that gun and we get a toy Spider-Man. >> Oh, good idea. Going to do whatever. >> WA! Look at that Spider-Man. Why did you So, why did you just snatch that >> He's cool. He's a bobblehead. Look. >> Despless though. >> Oh, I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you? >> No. That's pretty. You're looking at the crotch. >> I'm just trying to stay continuity. He's not to say Spider-Man is behind the couch. >> Okay, listen. You know what, Cody? That toy gun is really cool. >> I mean, it's kind of cool. It doesn't really shoot anything. The camo's kind of neat. It's got dinosaurs. >> No, I meant your toy ray. >> What's cool about him? It's just a guy named Ray. I mean, he is a power bottom. >> No, I meant your laser ray. Laser >> what? >> Your toy laser ray. >> Makes sense, Junior. >> That >> Oh, my makes things into toys laser ray gun. Why didn't you just say so? >> You know, man are considered seals. >> what? >> What? Well, Junior's joke earlier about your mom being a cow at the aquarium because because you said, "Don't you mean a whale?" But manatees are considered sea cows and manatees are at the aquarium, so you didn't have to say whale. Get it? >> God damn it. >> Jerry, why are you here, >> Jerry? >> Why the are you doing this, Jerry? That was 5 minutes ago. No one's even thinking of that joke. >> Read the room, dude. >> Yeah, we moved on. >> Oh, okay. A girl. >> Yeah, leave, >> Jerry. Jerry the couch monster always tries to make jokes funnier than they have to be and he tries to fix jokes and he's not a writer. He's not a good writer. >> Oh, his ass is a weirdo. >> Yeah, we got to kick him out of the couch. >> Definitely. >> There's someone at the door. Who's that? >> Hello. >> Hey there, >> Tom Brady. >> Yep, it's me, Tom Brady. >> What are you doing here, Tom Brady? >> Well, me and my son were just driving up to Make Out Point, and then the dang old car broke down. So, I was just wondering if I could come in and use your phone to call a tow truck to tow us up to make out point. Why don't you have a cell phone? >> Oh, well, 5G isn't on the TB12. >> What? >> I don't know. Can I come in? >> Why can't I just bring you my cell phone? Why do you have to come in? >> Listen, Michael Vick's out here with his dog, and it's scary. >> Okay, Brady, come on in. >> Okay. >> Who's at the door, Junior? >> Tom Brady? >> Yeah, it was Tom Brady. >> So, where's your cell phone? I got to make a call. >> Oh, yeah. Tom Brady. Hold on. Let me get my cell phone. Cody, you know be really cool? If you shot Tom Brady with your gun and turned him into a toy. >> But, Junior, they already make Tom Brady toys. We don't have to turn him into a toy. I know, but turning the real Tom Brady into an action figure would be so cool. >> Jen, you're turning into a toy is like dying. There's no coming back from that. >> Well, he's already retired. He's basically dead. >> H. Okay. Yeah, I guess you're right. HEY, TOM, THINK FAST. >> WA! TOM BRADY'S A TOY NOW. >> DUDE, THAT'S PRETTY SICK. >> WELL, Tom Brady's dead forever. He's never coming back. >> I mean, he was going to unretire anyway. >> Yeah, his wife left him and cheated on him with his jiu-jitsu instructor. I don't think he was happy being alive. I think he's happier as a toy. >> Yeah, he was going out sad with his old ass. Yeah, >> you know, SEALS AND TOM BRADY. >> WOW, JERRY. WOW, YOU KNOCKED THE TOYS OVER. WAY TO GO, JERRY. >> OH. OH, >> what the hell, Jerry? >> Yeah. What the were you going to say? It was so goddamn important that you knocked the toys over. We got to set the scene back. >> not important. >> Yeah, it wasn't important. Nothing you could say would ever be important. Get out of here. >> God, damn. I hate Jerry, man. Junior, I'm not going to keep coming over if he's here. I >> I will get him out. I will get him out of the couch. I'll tell him to leave. Guys, I'm sorry. I know. I don't even know why, guys. Okay, I'll get Jerry out. I promise. But next time you come over, Jerry Tom and everything, >> Hey, guys. Old. >> Oh, hey Jeffy. We're just shooting things with this gun. See, anything you shoot with this gun, it turns into a toy. >> Oh, my mommy must have shot a bunch of wee wee with that toy and put them in the bedside table. Bunch of big black ones. >> A lot of women must have do that. >> Oh, okay. Was there anything you want to shoot and turn into a toy? >> Well, you can turn me into a toy and then sell it for a limited time. link in the description. >> Oh yeah, let's do that. Yeah, move all the stuff off the couch. >> All right, shoot Jeffy with it. >> Here it comes, Jeffy. Pew. >> Oh man, Cody, you turned Jeffy and the red couch into a toy. >> Yeah, the louder you say pew, the bigger the blast radius of the toy. Ray, >> now Jeffy's stuck on the couch forever, but he's like a cool little figurine. And he did say we could sell him for a limited time only. >> Yeah, he did. So you can click the link in the description to buy your limited time only Jeffy YouTubes available for two weeks. BUY IT NOW. NOW. RIGHT NOW. Hey guys, it's me Jeffy and the Jeffy YouTubes are now available if you go to the link in the description. SO GET THEM NOW BEFORE THEY SELL OUT. >> I'm hungry. >> Me too, dude. Man, when is some people going to come in with the food? I haven't eaten in days. >> Chef baby, where's dinner? >> All right. All right, Br. I got the most delicious meal I ever cooked. You're welcome. Bone appetite. >> Wait, Chef, what is this? It's green. >> It's green mashed potatoes with coleslaw and squirts of gravy. The gravy had a >> It smells like ass, chef. >> Hey. Hey, watch your mouth. I slaved in that kitchen. I got lashes all over my damn back. You going to eat that damn meal, boy? Eat it. I'm not eating this, Joseph. >> Yeah, I'm not eating it. It looks like somebody threw up in my my bowl, dude. >> Yeah. Um, it looks like we're going to turn on the Food Network and just lick the TV screen. >> OH, ONE OF MY FAVORITE PASTIMES. MY MOM ALWAYS did it with me. >> Why? >> I mean, we were poor, so we always lick the TV whenever we saw the Food Network come on. Good times. >> Oh, okay. >> THIS SONG GAY AS THAT'S RIGHT. I DON'T LIKE THE MCDONALD'S JINGLE. IT'S BORING. IT'S OLD. IT'S WASHED UP. WHAT I WANT? I WANT SOMETHING A LITTLE NEW. I WANT SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE HIP. SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE HOP. That's right. We're having a McDonald's rapping contest. WHOEVER BRINGS ME THE BEST MCDONALD'S WRAP WINS FREE MCDONALD'S FOR LIFE. I'M SAYING YOU GO THROUGH THE DRIVE-THRU, YOU WANT A FREE CHEESEBURGER, HERE'S YOUR DAMN CHEESEBURGER FOR FREE FOR LIFE. SO, GET TO RAPPING. ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT? Get this snack wrapping. Joseph, did you just SEE THAT COMMERCIAL? >> YES, DUDE. I JUST SAW IT. >> If we make a McDonald's rap song and they pick it to be the winner, we can have McDonald's for every single meal. We'll never have to eat Chef Peepee's gross cooking ever again. >> He'll never have to lick a TV screen either. >> Oh my god. That'd be American dream to have McDonald's for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Oh my god, we'd be so fat. >> Isn't this what Trump wanted? American dream. >> Yeah. Yeah. Trump eats McDonald's every day, >> right? >> Oh my god. If the president could eat McDonald's every day, we should eat McDonald's every day. Mhm. >> Free McDonald's for life. Okay, let's get to writing. Let's make a rap song right now. >> All right, let's do it, dude. MAN, OH MAN, WHAT A NIGHT. CHEF PEEP'S COOKING DINNER. A new episode of Charlie and Friends is coming on. Oh, you can't ask for more than this. >> Charlie and Friends was filmed in front of a live audience. >> Give me blue in your booty ass. >> Oh, hi guys. I'm Charlie and TODAY I'MMA BE SPITTING SOME BARS. So come with me. Let's spin some bars. YEAH, CHARLIE, YOU'RE SO HILARIOUS. THAT'S NOT SPITTING BARS. I MEAN, YOU kind of did SPIT BARS. CANDY BARS. SPINNING bars means wrapping, silly. Who's going to tell them? Oh, all right, Braxton. Here's your food. But what THE HELL IS THIS, CHEF PEEP? DID YOU THROW UP MY FOOD AGAIN? NO. I TOLD YOU WHAT I was cooking. It's green mashed potatoes. I thought you said greens AND MASHED POTATOES. LIKE SOUL FOOD FROM A BLACK WOMAN. NO, I'M NOT A BLACK WOMAN. I'M NOT COOKING THAT. I WANTED TO MAKE SOMETHING EXOTIC. WELL, I'M GOING TO BE SPITTING OUT SOME EXOTIC IF I EAT THIS. OH, LOOK, A COMMERCIAL. WHOEVER BRINGS ME THE BEST MCDONALD'S WRAP WINS FREE MCDONALD'S FOR LIFE. >> DO YOU SEE THAT, CHEF PEEPI? DO YOU SEE THAT? IF YOU WIN THIS MCDONALD'S COMPETITION, YOU COULD RETIRE. YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO COOK FOR ME AGAIN. AND WE CAN EAT MCDONALD'S EVERY DAY LIKE SOME TLC FAT RETIRE? REALLY? OH, I'm going to win this competition. I'm about to turn into Tupac resurrected in this >> Okay, Joseph. I just sent our music video off to McDonald's. They have to pick our song. >> Dude, we had the hardest bars of 2025. They're definitely going to pick us. >> Yeah, your verse is nasty. They're going to pick our song. >> All right, Bryce. Where's that laptop? I need to send off a music video. >> Music video for what? >> I shot a music video for this McDonald's contest. I'mma win it and then I'm never going to have to cook for you breasts ever again. >> Wait, wait. No, no, no, no. Me and Joseph just entered the McDonald's song thing and we just sent our song off because we don't want your cooking ever again. We want McDonald's for the rest of our life. >> There's no way that your SONG'S BETTER THAN MINE. I ACTUALLY TRIED. >> OH, NO. We tried. Our song is crazy. Isn't that right, Joseph? Joseph. >> Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Crazy. >> Wait, where do you go sometimes, Joseph? Just doze off. Like in the first scene, like you just laid back and just gave up. >> I should be drifting, bro. My bad. >> Anyway, chef, our song is better. Well, show me your song then, punk. >> How about you play yours first? >> I ain't scared. I stamp over Mickey D's. Mickey D's, huh? Yeah. Quarter pounder with some cheese. Yeah. Make a whole drop to our knees. I'm loving it. I'm loving it. I'm loving it. Quarter pounders on my gullet. I be stuffing it. It's boxing on my tummy. It's been rumbling. And if it ain't Mickey D's menu, I can't stomach it. I'm loving it. I'm loving it. I'm loving it. Quarter pounders on my gullet. I be stuffing it. It's a party in my stomach. Get it jumping there. And the manager is kind of cute. Do she come with this? Pull up to the drivethru. I'm about to have my way. My sh got the hot case. Who needs a breakfast plate? Third time here. Still coming back today. And this lady can make up a mind. move out the way. And today been hella hot. I might get a shake. If the machine down, I might be crashing out the day in a flurry in a hurry to cool off my face. I heard you got a secret sauce. Go get it out the safe. I ain't lying. Shift 50 doesn't rap cap. Need everything on the menu. What's the snack wraps? Nummy me chicken in the bag. I feel backst got it for the chief off the app. Got the last laugh. I'm loving it. I'm loving it. I'm loving it. A quarter pound of down my gullet. I'll be stuffing it. It's boxing it on my tummy. It's been rumbling and if it ain't Mickey, I can't stomach it. I'm loving it. I'm loving it. I'm loving it. Quarter pounder down my gullet. I'll be stuffing it. It's a party in my stomach. Get it jumping. And the manager is kind of cute. Do she come with us? I need my 10 piece. Hold on, get Swiss cheese. I need my 10piece. Hold on, get Swiss cheese. I need my 10 piece. Hold on, get Swiss cheese. Need to hurry. Hit the horn like a symphony. >> Have a nice day. >> Yeah, thank you, man. I'm you as well. >> Oh, hell no. What about sweet sauce? Oh no, we about to spin back. I got to slide this >> Now, what you got to say about that silly ass, goofy ass, whiny ass can't rap ass boy? That was fire. I know it was so ass. I don't know if we can compete. Dude, >> hold on. We can compete. Let's just stay calm. >> Chef Peepi, that was Chef Doodoo. >> Boy, you got to listen to our our song, Chef Peepee. It's It's That's definitely uh It's up there. >> Play that trash then. >> Man, I want my Happy Meal. And they better not forget my toy. >> Oo, I love my toy. Don't forget them apple slices. >> Well, it's a problem if it's a girl toy, though. >> Hell no. >> I want a Happy Meal. Four piece chicken nuggets. Grab a handful and put the fries in a bucket. Add a Dr. Pepper and a straw and I'll suck it. Go ahead and add a chocolate shake, man. it. I'll jump over your counter and go through your kitchen. Oops, I made a mess, man. Y'all a bunch of snitches. Hand me some napkins. I'll turn those rags of riches. Don't forget the toys since y'all a bunch of Man, I need my nugies. If I'm eating, please don't b me. Junior needs an extra sauce. My bro might get one if he's lucky. Burger King can't compete. Or the chicken from Kentucky. When I'm rich, I'mma swim in a McFlurry like a guppy. Make sure to get the apple pie with my happy meal. Don't forget my apple juice cuz this is a package deal. Don't mess up the order, man. I swear this the sixth time. Haters mad cuz my flow hotter than French fries. I just want free happy meals for life. I just want free happy meals for life. I just want free happy meals for life. I just want free happy MEALS FOR LIFE. >> >> THAT CUTE LITTLE BABY BOY. GOD DAMN. You actually tried, didn't it? >> That was great. It was great. It's going to And Ronald McDonald's going to pick our song and and and we're going to get to him first and tell him to pick OURSELVES A LOT. >> I GET IT. EVERYONE WANTS SOME OF RONALD'S MEAT. BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING, KID? >> OKAY. SO, UM, me and Joseph sent you a song. Chef Peg sent you a trash song. No, chef made a way better song. >> No, his name is Sounds like Dick. Did you get Did you get our songs? >> Yeah, I heard him. >> And which one you like more? Like more. Which one you like more? >> YOU DIDN'T WIN. YOU SILLY ASS GOOFY ASS CARC ASS PALE FACE ASS LITTLE BOY? YOU ACTUALLY TRYING TO COMPARE TO PP THE TOP 10 BAR SPINNER EVER? YOU CAN'T COMPARE TO THE PEEPERS. >> YOU DIDN'T WIN EITHER. SILLY ASS GOOFY ASS MUSTACHE HAVE PUERTO RICAN. LOOK AT HER. NOT EVEN FRENCH. LOOK AT HER. SHE HAD PEE PEE SOUND LIKE PENIS. LOOK AT HER. HOW THE HELL DID I NOT WIN? >> SO, DID I WIN? WAIT. WAIT. JOSEPH, we were on the same song. Well, obviously my boss was way better than yours. >> Did Did Joseph win? >> NONE OF YOU WENT. >> SILLY ASS GOOFY ASS BASKETBALL. >> LOOKING LIKE A WHOLE UGLY ASS. I kind of froze. >> Well, so who won? >> I did. >> What? >> Wait, that that doesn't make sense. How did How did you win? >> Because I ended myself in my own competition. >> Wait, you can't you can't be fair. >> Yeah. How you going to get free for life? You already get free McDonald's for life. >> I MADE THE COMPETITION. I MAKE THE RULES. NOW SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH AND WATCH MY music video. >> I'm the grease guy tripping on your mom's chin. Stuff a big mac in her throat. Let the laughing begin. Got the fries in my veins. Got the sauce on my sack. Don food so good. Make your arteries clap. Pull up to the drivethru. Kicking me. She taking every nugget. Better swallow in a hurry. I'm the clown with the combo. Make it take your girl straight. Get your girl sucking ketchup right off of my skin. Too much money. I'm the truth. So why you doubting? I've been stacking cheese. Now my burger bigger than a mountain. She sold me like sweet tea. Now she wet just like a fountain. If I don't take it, girl, I guarantee you we'll be out. Yeah, I'm flipping and petty. She grabbing my mean. She call me Mcdetty while taking a seat. Got pie in the mouth, some sauce on her eyes. She suckle my nuggets while ripping my fries. I'm twisting the buns while she moans the boo. She swallow my combo. She knows the truth. I'm the rippling demon. The gracing sensation. She lo my menu with no grease dripping from your mommy's chin. Stuff a big mac in your throat. Let the ling begin. Got the fries in my pants. Got the sauce on my sack. McDonald's food so good it make your arteries clap. Yeah, I'm flipping patties while I'm camping every She call me Mcdaddy when I whisper in a re, "Baby, take a bite of this hot apple pie." Then she deep throat a fry. It's too hot, she might cry. Quarter pounder on the dresser. Play a fish on her back. She addicted to my meat. Can't deny that big mac. I'm the fast food bar pharaoh. The cholesterol chant. Got your primo in the booth with hot coffee on a lap. I'm the reason you peace. The clown of your dreams. Got your mom in the bathroom licking up my whipped cream. She moaning in the store yet she part of my scheme. Left to pass out on the tile in a greasy wet tree. I'm a grease guy dripping on your mommy's chin. Stop a big mac in a throat. Let the loving begin. Got the price in my pants. Got the sauce on me sack food so put make your bottle flap. She said Ronald be gentle don't be a now shut your mouth and put the fries in the bag. She said, "Be gentle, Don't be ahead." Now put the mouth and put the fries in the bag. >> So what do you think? >> Nah. Nah, that shit's great. Elephant dookie. Nothing but trash. I know kindergarters that can write better versus than that. >> Yeah, that's hot ass. That's chat GBT ass. That's AI >> That's garbage. That's >> right. You tell the difference. >> Yeah, that's man. >> That's ugly. That's I I'm upset. I'm I'm What a waste of time. That was hippo ass. >> So guys, what do you want to do today? >> Oh, dude, let's watch some cartoons. >> Oh yeah, let's watch Spongebob. >> Oh yeah, >> but the earlier seasons. Those are the better ones. >> Yeah, the best. >> Yeah. Okay, guys, we can watch that. Just don't tell my parents. >> What? >> Why? >> Well, I'm not allowed to watch Spongebob because my parents say it's too inappropriate. >> Too inappropriate? It's Spongebob, >> DUDE. IT'S JUST A CARTOON. >> He lives in a pineapple under the sea. >> Yeah. See, they don't like any of that. They think it's real, and they don't like that he's down there doing all that. Oh, and they also don't like that he steals women's underwear in that one episode. >> Oh, dude, that's my favorite episode. >> It's a really good episode. And it turns out Mr. Krabs steals his own mom's underwear. >> Nasty. >> Yeah, and that's the first episode they saw. So, they think that's all he does is there's just a real sponge on the bottom of the ocean that steals women's underwear. >> Oh, well, that's kind of lame. He's a goofy goober. >> Yeah, they don't like that either. They don't like that he got drunk on ice cream. And they're not even mad that he got drunk. It's just that they're mad that there's alcoholic ice cream on the bottom of the ocean. They They don't like any of that. >> Okay, look. We won't tell your parents that you're watching Spongebob. >> Okay, sure. Let's watch it. Check this out. >> DADDY. >> OH, DON'T CRY, BRO. DADDY'S GOING TO MAKE IT. ALL RIGHT. >> I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY NOBODY WANTS TO DO THE WORK WITH ME. >> >> I'LL FIGURE IT OUT. SPONGEBOB, GET IN HERE, ME BOY. >> YES, MR. KRABS. >> I need you to do me a favor. >> What is it, Mr. Krabs? >> YOU SEE ME BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER PEARL? WELL, SHE'D BE LONELY AND SHE'S NEVER BEEN WITH A MAN, so I need you to uh >> make her A KRABBY PATTY. >> NO, I NEED YOU TO TOSS ME DAUGHTER SALAD. >> BUT WE DON'T SERVE salad at the KRUSTY KRAB. >> NO, I NEED YOU TO UH BUTTER HER BISCUIT. We don't serve biscuits either. Ah, Mr. Krabs, can I HAVE A JOB? PATRICK, JUST WHO I WAS LOOKING FOR? OF COURSE HE CAN have a job. I need you to uh jump me dirty's bones. You need me to beat UP A SKELETON? NO. I NEED YOU TO GIVE HER YOUR she cucumber, me boy. But I already ate half of it. MR. SQUIDWARD, GET IN HERE. WHAT? MR. KRABS, I'm about to go on break. I need you to do something with that nose of yours. >> Oh, I love Spongebob. >> He's hilarious. >> See, this is what my parents were talking about. It's inappropriate. >> There's nothing inappropriate about that, Cody. That's funny. That's just a cartoon. >> Yeah, dude. That's humor. Laugh. >> Yeah, I guess so. >> Wa! Guys, look. Shut up. Try the new Spongebob Krabby Patty meal AT WENDY'S. WOW, LOOK AT THAT GOOBER BOX. ONLY for a limited time only, >> dude. We have to get that. Oh my god. Cody, you see the Krabby Patty meal? >> Yeah, it's a pretty cool idea. >> It's an awesome idea. I want a SPONGEBOB GOOBER BOX. >> DUDE, I WANT A GOOBER BOSS. I'M THE ULTIMATE GOOBER. >> NO, I'M A GOOFY GOOBER. >> I'M A GOOFY GOOBER. >> I'M THE GOOFIEST GOOBER. >> I'M THE SUPER GOOBER. >> I'M THE GOOFIEST GOOBER. Goober goofy. >> No way. I'm the goofiest goober of a goober goober goober. >> I'm a goober. >> Guys, you're both goofy goobers. >> Thank you. >> We try our best. >> All right, so let's get Chef Peep to take us to the Gooberville. >> You mean Wendy's? >> Yeah. Chef Peepi, GET IN HERE. >> WHAT DO YOU BRATS WANT? >> We're not brats, Chef Peepee. We're goobers. >> Well, what do you goobers want? >> Can you take us to Wendy's so we can get the Spongebob Krabby Patty meal? >> No, I'm not taking you to Wendy's. >> But Chef Peepi, we want to know what the Spongebob Crab Petty tastes like. >> Look, I'll go to Wendy's myself and get your stupid Krabby Patty meal. Look, I just like to drive alone in the car while I don't have to hear brat screaming in my ears. >> Goobbers. >> Well, goobers, damn it. >> Okay, so get three Krabby Patty meals from Wendy's. >> Okay, fine. I'll get your stupid Krabby Patty meals. Guys, what do you think the Crab Patty's going to taste like? >> It's probably just going to be like a normal Dave Single. >> Who the hell is Dave? >> Yeah. What are you talking about? >> Well, that's what they call their burger at Wendy's. It's just like a regular burger. >> It's not going to be a regular burger, Cody. It's going to be a crar patty. Their whole life. Everyone's whole life. They want to know what a curry patty tastes like. It's going to taste like a crurry patty. >> Mhm. It's going to be pretty epic. Oh, what if they have jelly on it like THAT ONE EPISODE? >> OH, CODY, DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE jellyfish jelly on the curry patty? >> No, they didn't show that. It just looked like a normal burger. >> Ooh. WHAT ABOUT THE PICKLES UNDERNEATH? >> PICKLES UNDERNEATH. >> OH. OH, I TAKE A BITE OF MINE. I'M I'm going to hide the pickles under my tongue and I'm going to go steal no pickles. >> It's like bubble bath. >> Well, this is I'm really glad you guys are excited. I love that for you guys. >> I know. It's going to be so fun. Oh. >> Oh, and the in the pineapple frosty. >> Oh, yes. All right, Junior. Here's your Krabby Patty meals. >> Chef Baby, what the >> What? What? What did I do wrong? >> Did you Did you order the Crav Patty meals? >> Yes, it's right here. They're in the bags. What are you talking about, >> Cheffy? This These are just a regular Wendy's bag. Where's Where's the Where's the Spongebob with the Goober box? >> What the hell? No, GOOBER BOX IS IN THE BAG. YOUR KRABBY PATTY meals are IN THE BAG. I GOT WHAT YOU ASKED. >> I think you ordered the wrong thing. I don't think you ordered the Krabby PATTY MEAL. >> NO, I GOT EXACTLY WHAT YOU ASKED. I SAID TO THE LADY AT the window, "Give me the Krabby Patty meals. Three of them." >> But there there's no goober box. Where's the Spongebob? Hey, there's no Spongebob on the bag. How How would anyone know this is a Krabby Patty meal? There's nothing that says Spongebob. Cody, do you think do you see anything that says Spongebob? Now it just looks like Wendy's. >> Look, I don't know what to tell you. They They didn't offer a goober box. I just got the meals that you asked. Okay. >> Okay. I'm the at the drive-thru. Thank you for choosing Wendy's. Would you like to try a Spongebob crack patty meal? >> Yes. Uh, please. Can I have three of them? >> Okay. And would you like the goober super super goober box? >> What the hell? No, they didn't offer a goober box, Julia. >> Well, well, then so you're telling me she handed you this brown bag at the drive-thru and you said, "Yep, that's that's acceptable to me. That's that is a Krabby Patty meal." >> Yep. That's what you would put a meal in. A damn brown bag. Yes. But it's not supposed to be in a brown bag. On the commercial, right, Cody? It showed a Spongebob goober box. >> Yeah, it looked kind of cool. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. It was supposed to be Spongebob on the box. His Spongebob's face. Supposed to be a Spongebob fry holders. Supposed to be Spongebob. >> Well, look, I DON'T WORK AT WENDY'S. I GOT THE MILK. LOOK, JUST eat it. Okay. >> Yeah. Why don't we just eat the goddamn burger? >> I'll just eat the damn burger. Oh, >> okay. I'll I'll eat the the Krabby Patty. This is not a Krabby Patty. It's Guys, what the >> Dude, this was not made with love. >> Yeah, like I said, this is just a regular old Dave Single. >> What the Cuz what the >> Oh, Junior, calm down. >> I'M NOT GOING TO CALM DOWN. WHAT THE IS THIS, >> DUDE? THAT'S A FAIR CRASH SHOT CUZ WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? >> You're telling me for years and years and years, people want to know what a crab patty tastes like. And finally, Spongebob gives the right to the crab patty to a fast food restaurant and they give it a bombass ass Winnies. And this is what they do. Like this is what they do. Like Cody, be honest. Be real. If you were a regular person walking by and you saw this, do you think it's a Spongebob meal? Does anything say Spongebob? >> No. Actually, it just looks like Wendy's. >> Does anything say Krabby Patty? >> No. The only thing I would question is maybe the drink, but that's mostly cuz it looks gross. It looks like they mixed it wrong. >> Wendy's didn't try. Like, they seriously didn't try. Look, there there's no there's no Spongebob wrapping paper on the burger. There's no Spongebob fry holder. There's no Spongebob box. In the commercial, they showed a Spongebob box. I don't get no Spongebob box. I don't get no Goober box. Bro, I do not feel like a damn goober. >> I DO NOT PRESSED ASS GOOBER. >> I DO NOT FEEL like a goofy ass goober. I They literally did not try. Like, how do you not try? Look at this. That's a square patty. In the Spongebob show, it's a circle patty. But that's a square patty. Why, Cody? >> Well, maybe they were thinking because Spongebob's pants are square, the patty SHOULD >> OFF, CODY. ASS. THAT'S ASS. NO, NOT ONE EPISODE OF the Patty Square. And if they are, then I'm sorry for not being fact checked, but swear to God, this they're usually circle. Why did they not go to McDonald's? Why did Spongebob not go to McDonald's? There's no way. Wendy's has more money than than McDonald's. >> Man, McDonald's is superior. THEY'RE THE PS5 OF ALL FAST FOODS. >> YEAH, PS5, I guess. >> Yeah. Yeah, PS5. Talk to her. >> Okay. Well, then then then Wendy's is the Sega Genesis of of of fast food. >> Yeah, Saga ass, >> Sure. >> I I don't know if that's a bad con. Back on track. Main point is Wendy's did not give two Wendy said, "We really need money. Spongebob, please let us advertise your Curry Patty." And this is some bumbass right this on bum You know McDonald's, they did the adult Happy Meal and they had the box and every, you know, Happy Meals, McDonald's Happy Meals, every week they changed out those toys. And you know what they could have done? If Oh, Spongebob would have went to McDonald's, they would have been the actual like Krabby Patty like box and there would have been a Krusty Krab box and there would been a Spongebob toy and a Squidward toy and a Pasture toy and a Mr. Krabs toy. And there probably would have been a Plankton toy. And if you got the Plankton toy, your Krabby Patty was missing. That'd be so cool. Everyone be like, "Oh man, I hope my crab patty's missing. Oh, I hope I want the plankton toy." >> I would have definitely got it. It's It's so stupid. Like, and you know what's crazy? You know what's crazy? There's no sesame seed bun. In the in the in the Krabby Patty formula, there's a sesame seed bun. But you know what does have a sesame seed bun? A Big Mac at McDonald's. McDonald's has all the ingredients. You give it to Wendy's. What the What the is this? Literally square. No wrapping, no try, no effort. Come. I'm suing. I'm going to sue. I'm I'm going to hire a lawyer and I'm going to sue Wendy's for false advertising cuz there's no Craggy Patty meal. You can't just make a regular goddamn days single and put mayonnaise on it and say it's a crap. That's some Cody. It's some Say it's not. >> No, it is >> That's some I want to be a goofy ass goober. >> Yeah, me too. >> I was so happy for the goober me. Just goober my ass. >> Hey there. Somebody call a lawyer. >> I did. >> Oh, you kids enjoying some Wendy's? >> Enjoying is the opposite word I'm experiencing. >> Oh, what's wrong? Did you find a finger in your food or something? >> I actually would have rather found a finger in my food. That would have been cool. I've been like, "Oh, I got the zombie meal cuz it's close to Halloween." But no, no, no, that's not it. >> Well, what's wrong? Well, um, I have a question for you. If you had to guess what we ordered from Wendy's, what would you guess? >> Well, I'd say probably a number one. You know, just a Dave Single. Pretty standard stuff. >> What would you do if I told you that this was actually the Spongebob Krypatty meal? >> Oh, yeah. I heard about that. Is it good? >> Well, I mean, you look at it. I mean, do you see anything Spongebob? Do you see any Krabby Patties? >> Oh, now that you mentioned it, no. It doesn't say anything Spongebob on it. >> That's why I want to sue Wendy's for false advertising cuz apparently this is the Krabby Patty Krusty Krab Goober meal, and there's literally no Spongebob, no nothing. And that's false advertising. That's up. That is up. They can do that. >> Oh, okay. Well, let me go on Tik Tok and do some research and I'll get back to you. >> I hope we have a case. >> Hey, kid. So, I found these uh videos on Tik Tok of people who maybe got the experience you were looking for. See, this guy's got the box and like a cup there. Is that what you wanted? >> Well, he got the goober box. How'd you get the goober box? I >> I don't know, but it does seem like a few people got it. See, he's got the fry box. >> What? Joseph, look at it. He's got the He's got the GOOFY GOOBER BOX. >> DUDE, I WANT THE GOOFY GOOBER BOX. >> Wait a minute. Oh, hell no. Chef Peepee ordered the wrong thing. I knew he didn't order the right thing. >> HE'S A DAMN IDIOT. >> CHEF PEEPEE, GET YOUR ASS IN HERE NOW. >> DUDE, DON'T YOU EVER CALL MY NAME LIKE THAT AGAIN OR I'LL BEAT YOUR ASS. >> WELL, MAYBE I'M NOT a stupid ass dumb chef like you because you definitely did not order the curry patty meal. Chef Peepee. >> YES, THE HELL I DID. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? >> WELL, LOOK AT THESE TIK TOKS. LOOK, LOOK, these people got the goober box. Look, these people got the Spongebob. That's Spongebob's face out of box. Why are they having a goober time? Why am I not a goober? >> I DON'T KNOW. LOOK, I CAN'T CONTROL WHAT THE LADY HANDS ME. OKAY. WELL, I JUST DON'T understand because are you are you you swear on your life that you ordered three Krabby Patty meals? >> Yes, I did. I ordered exactly what you told me to order. Three Krabby Patty meals. >> Then why the hell did they hand us these bombass brown bags and these people have the goober boxes? These people have the Krabby Patty meals. I >> I don't know, Junior. This is out of my hands. >> Hey, I just like to point out that even if they gave you the right box, that's still the product you would have gotten. And that's not a Krabby Patty. >> It's not a Krabby Patty, but you know, I would have felt a little bit better if I opened up a Spongebob box. I could have kept the box. I could have said, "Oh, this is so cool." I honestly it probably would have tasted differently if it came in a Spongebob box. So, I still want to sue. >> Okay, I'll see what I can do. Oh, >> I hate I hate Wendy's. I hate them. I hate you. >> So, what is all this about? >> Well, you see, I have a client in Florida that wants to sue you because he's disappointed with his Krabby Patty meal. See, he didn't get the special box or the packaging or any of that. And the burger just doesn't even look like a Krabby Patty. >> I understand. >> HEY, IF I PUT IN >> RONALD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? >> I GAVE THE WEDGE THE SHOW. I MEAN, WOW. JUST WOW. YOU REALLY SCREWED THE POOCH ON THIS ONE, WENDY. I MEAN, YOU HAD A LAYUP WITH MICHAEL FREAKING JORDAN ON YOUR TEAM AND YOU DECIDED TO SHOOT THE HALF COURT SHOT. LET ME TELL YOU HOW I WOULD HAVE BEEN. >> OH, here we go. >> Firstly, EVERY SINGLE MEAL WOULD COME WITH A CRUSTY CRAB SHAPED BOX. >> OH, that's cool. I LIKE THAT. >> DON'T EAT HIM. >> HUSH. YOU OPEN that up and you pull out a Krabby patty. I'm talking a double quarter patty with CHEESE MEAL, SESAME SEED BUN, EVERY MEAL WOULD COME WITH THEIR own kelp fries. Just normal fries. Who gives a And every meal would come with the diet Dr. Kelp Dr. Peppa. AND WE WOULD FORGET IT EVERY SINGLE TIME FOR THE JAR. >> LISTEN, I PINEAPPLE FROSTIES ARE DELICIOUS. >> PINEAPPLE FROSTIES. YEAH, THEY'RE DELICIOUS. AND YOU LIKE THE TASTE OF PISS. YOU TELL ME WHAT EPISODE OF SPONGEBOB DID HE EVER SELL A PINEAPPLE FROSTING? >> THERE ISN'T ONE. >> THERE ISN'T ONE. AND LET'S TALK ABOUT THE TOYS. EVERY MCDONALD'S MEAL WILL COME WITH A TOY. DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS? >> NO. >> NO, SHE DOESN'T. UNLESS YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THE TOYS IN A BEDSIDE DRESSER. I'M TALKING MR. SPONGEBOB SQUAR BOX. I'M TALKING SQUIDDY, MR. KRAB, PLANKTON, ALL THOSE TOYS. AND IF YOU GET THE PLANKTON MEAL, you don't get A BURGER CUZ YOU STOLE IT. AND THEY WOULDN'T CARE. THEY'D BE HAPPY CUZ THEY GOT THE TOY. AND THEN THEY'D HAVE TO GO BACK TO McDonald's and buy another meal. >> DO YOU SEE HOW RIDICULOUS THIS IS? HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THE NAMES OF THE CHARACTERS. >> YEAH, I don't know the names of the characters. Anyway, you go talk to Nickelodeon and you tell them when they want it done right. Daddy's right here, baby. >> Please, whatever you do, go to BURGER KING FIRST. >> BURGER KING? MY ASS. That's all. That's all. >> Listen, tell your client we're going to get these boxes and and bags and everything OUT TO OUR CLIENTS AND our restaurants as SOON AS POSSIBLE. SO, JUST PLEASE don't don't do anything with him. Please. He's an I can't stand him. >> Okay, I'll let him know. Hey, so uh Wendy says, "Give them a few weeks and they might have some goober boxes." >> That's going to be so stupid. Everyone else has already been a goofy goober. We didn't get any of the goofy goober boxes. Guys, post a comment if you got the Spongebob box cuz we tried every location near us and like even an hour away and no one had the Spongebob box. No one. Just stupid. Dumb. >> >> I hate Thanksgiving. The stock market's closed, so I CAN'T MAKE ANY MONEY. CHIVES, MORE PAGAN. MORE PAGAN, SIR. >> CHIVES, what the hell are you doing? I'm not going to hold the glass while you pour my pagan. TAKE THE GLASS from me, Chives. >> Sorry, sir. We need to get your brain scan, you old >> WELL, YOU KNOW IT'S PRONOUNCED CHAMPAGNE AND NOT PAGING. >> WELL, you're a real champagne in my ass, chives. And if YOU TALK BACK AGAIN, THAT BOTTLE'S GOING TO BE A REAL CHAMPAGNE in your ass. >> Very well, sir. >> Hold on. I'm getting a phone call and I better not hear a single peep out of that old dentured MOUTH OF YOURS. >> YES, SIR. >> YOU SEE THAT? YOU SEE WHAT YOU JUST DID? THAT THING WHERE YOUR MOUTH WAS MOVING AND WAS COMING OUT OF IT. YEAH. NO MORE OF THAT. But you don't know how to say yes, sir. BUT YOU JUST DESTROYED. >> SHUT THE UP, CH. YOU KNOW WHAT? SIT ON THE BOTTLE. >> WHAT? >> SIT ON THE BOTTLE. I WANT YOU TO TAKE THAT BALL ALL THE WAY TO THE BASE OF YOUR ASS. >> HURRY, CHIEF MRS. PHONE CALL. YOU'RE OUT ON THE STREETS. >> SHUT UP. >> HELLO. >> HELLO, my friend. It is me, Princy. >> What do you want? You bored building sand castles and >> Yes. >> What? Well, what the do you want? I'm in the middle of a very important business meeting. >> No, he's not. >> Hold on. My golden retriever likes to do that cute thing where he rubs his ass on the carpet. >> Shut the up, Ch. >> Now, where were we? >> Oh, you were just wondering why I were calling you and it was so I could tell my bestie the happiest of Thanksgiving. >> I hate Thanksgiving. >> But But you get to eat all the turkey and the stuffing. >> Yeah, I hate it. >> But we don't have Thanksgiving in the Middle East. Yeah, but they filmed Star Wars there and you got the pyramid, so you got that going for you. >> Well, if someone would throw me a true perfect American Thanksgiving dinner, I I would give them a billion dollars. A >> A BILLION DOLLARS TO HAVE THANKSGIVING? >> DUH. Of course. >> Well, I'll give you a Thanksgiving for a BILLION DOLLARS. >> YOU WOULD DO THAT FOR ME? >> YEAH. AND I'LL EVEN DRESS UP LIKE A PILGRIM WITH A BUCKLE ON MY HAT AND OH, YOU'RE THE BEST PERSON EVER. I'M GETTING ON my private jet now and heading there. >> OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU WHEN YOU GET HERE. >> OH, THANK GOD. >> CHARLES, I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO GET OFF THE BOTTLE. >> BUT CHARGE, GET OFF THE BOTTLE. I NEED YOU TO GET THAT OLD ASS IN THE KITCHEN AND MAKE AN ENTIRE THANKSGIVING DINNER IN 1 HOUR. >> IN 1 HOUR? BUT SIR, I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A TURKEY. >> WELL, GET ON YOUTUBE AND FIGURE IT THE OUT. >> OH, VERY WELL, SIR. IF IT'S NOT DONE IN 1 HOUR, THEN I SWEAR TO GOD, I'M GOING TO TAKE MY PHONE AND WE'RE GOING TO FILM ONE MAN, ONE BOTTLE. PAINT OLYMPICS IS >> BY THE WAY, SIR, IT'S 5:00 p.m. So, HERE IS YOUR CAVIAR. >> OH, THANKS FOR REMINDING ME, CHIVES. TINIER. THE CAVIAR. MY BALLS NOW. >> I'M HERE, MR. GOODMAN. >> YEAH, you thought you were going to get out of it, didn't you? Caviar's right there. Get to smearing. I want it all over the place, even behind my balls. >> Okay, Mr. Good Man. We're not going to miss a single egg this time. >> Oh, it's done. Yes. >> I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID IT. I COOKED A WHOLE THANKSGIVING DINNER IN UNDER AN HOUR WITH TIME TO SPARE. >> SH, NEXT TIME YOU GO TO THE GROCERY STORE, I'm going to need you to get some French onion dip for my Kiniro wants to mask the flavor. >> Look, sir, I DID IT. I COOKED THE WHOLE THANKSGIVING DINNER. >> YOU WANT A cookie? You did exactly what I told YOU TO DO. GREAT. NOW, LET'S see what we got here. Nuts, biscuits, cat throw up, chives. What in the IS THIS? THIS LOOKS LIKE GREEN BEAN TRAIL MIX. >> It's green bean casserole, sir. >> WELL, THAT'S DISGUSTING. I DON'T WANT IT HERE. NOW, I'M GOING TO TRY the turkey. My god, sir. CAN YOU CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH SHUT? That was some good turkey chives. You know what? You do deserve a cookie. You can go in the pantry and get one of your dog biscuits, but just one. >> Um, sir, are you feeling all right? >> I just had caviar licked off my nut sack, Ch. I'm feeling fantastic. >> BUT, BUT SIR, YOU'RE A TURKEY. >> WHAT THE DUDE? CHIMES, YOU'RE A TURKEY. YOU. >> NO, SIR. I MEAN, LIKE YOU LITERALLY HAVE A BEAK. >> AND YOU LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE A BEAK WITH THAT STUPID MOUTH OF YOURS. >> SIR, PLEASE GO TO THE BATHROOM AND LOOK IN THE MIRROR. YOU ARE LITERALLY A TURKEY. BEAK, FEATHERS, EVERYTHING. >> CHIVES, I TOLD YOU WE NEED TO GET YOUR BRAIN CHECKED, YOU OLD I guess I'm going to go to the bathroom and take a piss so I don't get a UTI from all the caviar in my urethra. Chives is getting old. That dementia is setting in, so I'm probably going to have to euthanize him. OH, HAHA. VERY FUNNY, CHIVES. You must have went to a carnival or fair or some and got one of those mirrors that turns everything INTO A TURKEY. CHIVES, YOU GET IN HERE AND FIX MY MIRROR. TRIBES, WHY AREN'T YOU A TURKEY in the mirror? >> Well, sir, there's nothing wrong WITH THE MIRROR. YOU ARE LITERALLY A TURKEY. >> TRIBES, I'm going to peck those stupid eyes out of your head. You tell me what's WRONG WITH MY MIRROR. >> THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR MIRROR. YOU ARE A TURKEY, SIR. >> I DON'T GET IT. STOP SCREWING AROUND AND FIX MY MIRROR. >> HOLD ON, SIR. LOOK IN THE CAMERA, SIR. >> Is that one of those stupid Snapchat filters that turns everything into A TURKEY? >> NO, YOU ARE A TURKEY. IF I WAS A TURKEY, WOULD I BE ABLE TO DO THIS? I'M A TURKEY. Turkey face. YOU BETTER FIX THIS RIGHT NOW. I NEED MY BILLION DOLLARS BECAUSE THE PRINCE OF ABU DHABI'S COMING. WAIT, WHY IS HE GIVING YOU A BILLION DOLLARS? >> HE SAID HE'D GIVE ME A BILLION DOLLARS IF I GAVE HIM A Thanksgiving dinner. >> Wait a minute. If I killed Goodman, I could take the BILLION DOLLARS FOR MYSELF. I MEAN, I DID COOK THE DINNER. GOODMAN, HURRY QUICK TO THE KITCHEN. I KNOW HOW TO FIX THIS. >> OKAY. >> HURRY, SIR. PUT YOUR HEAD RIGHT HERE. I KNOW HOW TO FIX THIS. >> OKAY. >> ALL RIGHT. LET me just grab THE THE MEDICINE NOW. DON'T LOOK. THIS IS REALLY NASTY MEDICINE, AND IT might hurt for a second. Just have to line IT UP AND >> I SEE WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO, CH. YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME SO YOU CAN GET THE BILLION DOLLARS. >> EXACTLY. >> GET BACK HERE. GET BACK HERE. >> WELL, I guess it doesn't matter. As long as Goodman's not here, the billion dollars is mine. >> Boie, Thanksgiving dinner's almost ready. >> Well, hurry it up. I got to go to work. >> A boy, I hate that you have to work on Thanksgiving. >> Yeah, well, they're offering double pay and we really need the money. And besides, people like to steal a lot on Thanksgiving. They think it's Thanks stealing or thieves giving or thieves stealing or >> knock it off, Boy. I get the picture. Turn off your football game and pay attention to me. >> But I want to see if the Miami Dolphins quarterback gets another concussion. His brain must be oatmeal by now. >> Turn it off, Boy. >> Oh, look. You're in the news. >> Breaking news. There's been a massive recall on butterball TURKEYS BECAUSE APPARENTLY SOME OF THE WORKERS AT THE BUTTERBALL FACTORY WERE BANGING THE TURKEYS. SO NOW one of the turkeys is cursed. So if you EAT IT, YOU'LL TURN INTO a turkey. So if you have a butterball turkey, IT'S BEST NOT TO EVEN TRY TO EAT IT. GO BUY A new brand of turkey OR KILL YOUR OWN. >> OH NO, BOY. We have a butterball turkey. Oh no. How cheed up is it? >> It's pretty thick, Boy. >> Oh yeah, it's definitely soiled. >> Boie, YOU GOT TO GO TO THE STORE AND GET ME A NEW ONE. >> WELL, KAREN, WE DON'T need a turkey. We can just eat ham and cheese Lunchables. >> Oh, actually, Boy, we're out of those, too. So, you can pick those up while you're at the store. >> I'm not going to the store, Karen. They're going to be sold OUT OF EVERYTHING. >> BOIE, GO GET ME A DAMN TOY. >> I'M NOT GOING TO GET YOU A TOY. >> BOY'S THANKSGIVING'S GOING TO BE RUINED WITHOUT ONE. >> OKAY, FINE. I'LL GO GET ONE. DAMN. >> I got to get to Morvin. HE CAN FIX ME. HE'LL LOVE TO FIX ME AND THEN I'll get his house payment. >> I hate working on Thanksgiving. I want to be at home watching football. And where the hell am I even supposed to find a turkey? All the stores are closed. I mean, there's no point in me even looking now. Wait, what is that? Oh, a speeder. Great. I'm going to ruin his Thanksgiving, too. >> No, the cops. They're going to pull me over. Maybe they can help me. I can't believe I'm doing this on Thanksgiving. I'm going to ruin this guy's day. I tell you what, he's going to have a worse Thanksgiving. >> Hey there, sir. Or should I say gobble gobble. >> Hey, I'm kind of in a rush. >> Holy it talks. I must have fallen asleep on the couch watching football. >> No, this is very real. >> Oh, I see. You must have eaten one of those butterball turkeys. >> Yes, and this is the worst situation I've ever been in. >> Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that. I'll let you go on your way. >> Okay, thank you. >> Hold on a minute. My wife wants me to get a turkey, and this guy is a turkey. I could just kill this guy and bring him home to my wife, and maybe she'll shut the hell up. Uh, sir, I need you to step out of the car, please. >> No, I'm leaving. I don't have time for this. >> Well, no. No. I need to search the car to make sure you don't have turkey meth. >> No, I'm leaving. >> What? No, sir. You can't do that, sir. Hey, hey, hey. No. Get out of here. >> DON'T TOUCH MY CAR, you poor. >> Pick me. >> You poor. Are you? >> Yeah. Well, you're a turkey. How about that? you. >> Thanksgiving dinner is really looking good this year. I outdo myself every single year, though. And your ass just keep teasing me, girl. Thick ass. Just toot it up. And I just want to get behind it and just act out right now. But I got to finish preparing this damn dinner. You know I ain't got time for a quickie. Your sex ass. What? Braxton. I'm trying TO PREPARE DINNER. WAIT, WHAT KIND OF TURKEY IS THAT? OH, it's a butter ball. OH, HELL NO. WE CAN'T EAT A BUTTERBALL TURKEY THIS YEAR. DID DID YOU SEE THE NEWS? THEY JUST SAID THAT PEOPLE WERE HUMPING TURKEYS AND PUTTING THEIR BUTTERY BALLS ON THE BUTTER BALLS. SO, WE CAN'T EAT THAT. WAIT, WAIT. REALLY? WHAT? NO WAY. CAN'T BE. WHAT KIND OF SICK ass weirdo would hump a turkey? That's for Thanksgiving. I thought you were a damn virgin. YOU LIED TO ME. YOU LYING WELL, ANYWAY, CHEF PEEPEE, I need you TO FIND A LIVE TURKEY AND KILL IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME SO I KNOW THAT IT'S NOT TAINTED. WELL, WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO FIND A LIVE TURKEY, BRAXTON? I DON'T KNOW. FIGURE IT OUT. OH, JESUS. WHAT? Who's at the door? Uh, hello. Hey, >> I know. I know. I'm a talking turkey. >> Wait, wait, wait. I don't remember smoking CRACK EARLIER. SO WHY IS THERE A TALKING TURKEY AT MY FRONT DOOR? >> LISTEN, I GOT TURNED INTO A TURKEY AND I need to talk to Marvin. >> Oh, hell no. You're not talking to Marvin. I'm cutting your head off in front of Braxton. >> If you touch me, I'm going to peck out your eyeballs. >> Oh, look. Look. I NEED TO KILL YOU. COME ON. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. Do me a favor real quick. I need a 360. Turn that ass around. God damn. THICK ASS I DON'T WANT TO BITE THAT >> LISTEN, if you let me talk to Marvin, I'll let you smack it again later. >> Okay. Okay. Well, right this way. GODDAMN IT. HEY, MARVIN. IT'S ME, GOODMAN. WELL, DON'T JUST STARE AT ME. HELP ME. >> MARVIN, I can't explain that. >> It's a talking turkey. >> YEAH, IT'S ME, GOODMAN. I TURNED INTO A TURKEY AND I NEED TO CHANGE BACK INTO A HUMAN. SOMEBODY HELP ME. >> OH, YOU MUST ATE one of those contaminated turkeys. >> YEAH, THE BUTTER BALL NOW, HELP ME. OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, EVEN IF I could help you, why would I help you? All you do is ask me for money. You have a house that has a MORTGAGE AND I WANT THE HOUSE PAYMENT. MORGAN, >> WHAT DO I DO? >> I think you should kill him. >> No, don't kill him. He's your best friend. >> He's not your best friend. HE JUST WANTS YOUR HOUSE PAYMENT. >> WHAT? Krunk from Emperor's New Groove? >> Yeah, that's me. >> No, that's me. >> No, that's me. Times Infinity. >> Well, >> Yeah, don't listen to him anyway. He's just a >> Hey, you don't say that. You got beat up in kindergarten all the time. >> Hey, I told you not to tell people that. It's a very sensitive subject. >> All right, guys. Let's stay focused. What should I do? >> I think you should eat him. I got a big ass fork here if you want to borrow. >> Well, uh, he's got a point. >> Okay. Even if I wanted to turn him back into a human, how would I do that? >> Oh, simple. Ema's potion. >> Oh, yeah. That's true. Ema does have a potion. >> Well, can you get me the potion? >> No, that's okay. I can. >> All right. Now that he's gone, let's eat. >> No, I got Ema's potion right here. >> Damn it. >> Okay. Well, give him the potion. >> All right, Durky Man. There you go. >> Thanks for turning me back, Marvin. Now, give me your house payment. >> REALLY? YOU'RE STILL GOING TO ASK FOR YOUR HOUSE PAYMENT AFTER I just helped you out? It's Thanksgiving. >> Yeah, I want to say thanks for you giving me your house payment. So, give me >> I I don't have it. What are we going to do? I'm so stressed out. >> Who cares? HE OWES YOU HIS HOUSE PAYMENT. GET YOUR MONEY. HE TURNED YOU BACK into a human. He didn't have to do that. He could just let you die. Yeah, but how many house payments does he owe you? >> A LOT. >> EXACTLY. SO GET YOUR DAMN MONEY. BUT COME ON, MAN. IT'S THANKSGIVING. YEAH, IT'S THANKSGIVING, NOT A JURY. >> H, there is an old man waiting for me to beat his ass at my house. >> Yeah. >> YOU KNOW WHAT, MARVIN? YOU don't owe a house payment this month. I have old man ass to beat. >> Really? >> I told you you should have him. Well, I think you would do the right thing, pal. >> Any minute now AND THAT BILLION DOLLARS WILL BE COMING TO THE DOOR. THAT MUST BE MY BILLION DOLLARS. HELLO YOUR MAJESTY. Hello my sexy baldheaded friend. It is me, Prince. And it is I, Camila Ba. CAMILA'S IN G. >> SHUT THE HELL UP. So is my Thanksgiving feat ready? >> IT IS RIGHT THIS WAY, SIR. >> Oh my alone. Look at this THANKSGIVING FEAST. IT'S PERFECT. YES. I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR GOODMAN. HE unfortunately won't be able to make it because he is um very very sick. Oh, but I'm very sorry to HEAR THAT. YES, BUT BUT HE TOLD ME THAT YOU COULD HAND ME HIS BILLION DOLLARS IN CASH. WELL, I I don't bring it in cash, but I did BRING IT IN GOD. IS THAT OKAY? YES. YES, THAT'S PERFECT. I'LL JUST BE TAKING THIS. WHAT? You don't want to stay and HAVE DINNER WITH ME? WELL, I I really must be going. WHAT? I I CAN'T STAY. I MEAN, I NEED I NEED TO HAVE THIS THIS MONEY AND AND TAKE IT TO GOODMAN'S BANK. COME HERE. SPIT ON HIM. HE DISRESPECT ME BY NOT WANTING TO HAVE THANKSGIVING DINNER. >> You know, Goodman does this to me all the time. >> COME HERE. WE ARE LEAVING. WAIT, WAIT. NO, NO. I'LL HAVE THANKSGIVING DINNER WITH YOU. I'LL DO ANYTHING. NO. You lost your chance. NO. DAMN IT. CH, WHERE ARE YOU? YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD HIDING PLACE BECAUSE WHEN I FIND YOU, THIS BOTTLE IS GOING IN YOUR ASS AND I'M GOING TO BREAK IT. WHERE YOU AT, CHIVES? YOU CAN'T HIDE FOREVER. WHENEVER I FIND YOU, I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU A BILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF PAIN. WHERE YOU AT, CHARLES? CHAR, are you hiding in my grandfather's ashes? You dirty son of a I wouldn't have anything to say either. CHIVES, YOU BITE THAT TURKEY SO YOU TURN INTO A TURKEY AND THEN I'M GOING TO CUT YOUR HEAD OFF AND BUTTERBALL YOUR ASS. BUT BUT SIR, I SAID I'M SORRY. >> ARE YOU A BILLION DOLLARS? SORRY. BITE IT. >> I'll give you a 10second head start. >> I RUN FASTER WITH A BONER.